I exit the gym storage room as I try to chase after (F/N). I call out for her but she was already running after Kageyama.

I think I made it worse between those two. Great job Suga.

I push the trolley inside the storage room and close the door behind me.

I guess I won't be able to clean up after all.

My eyes scan the large gymnasium with the volleyball nets still in place. This was my home for 3 years now, it's weird that it's my last year. I look down at my volleyball shoes, disappointed in myself. There was nothing you could've done from preventing the door closing or the lights. But I can't help help but feel guilty.

I could tell that she was having a panic attack, I needed to be there for her. Anyone could've mistaken it as making a pass at her. Suga, you're such a ditz.

I run out the door in search of (F/N). After making a few rounds, I finally found her, with him. I hid behind a corner so I wouldn't be intrusive. I could hear (F/N) crying. I wanted to help her badly, but I felt like it wasn't my place. I didn't want to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help it. It sounded like they were arguing. I couldn't hear everything clearly but I caught a little bit of their conversation.

"You were everything to me." she sobbed

Does she...

"I said 'I love you'? Yes." Kageyama cried.

love him?

I slide down the wall towards the ground, scrunching up my body. I clasp my hands together with my knees to my chest.

How can you compete with that? I shouldn't get in the way of their relationship but, I think I'm in with love her? But, how would I know that I'm in love? It's not like I can take a test to prove it's true. Kageyama already knows her so well, and I'm just not him. Maybe this is a love that I can't compete with. I'll just wait a little longer and see how things go...

"I won't leave you. I promise." was the last thing I heard from her. I hear foot steps in the distance and I think that was him walking away. Leaving her alone to cry. I couldn't stand seeing her in pain. Or bear to leave her like this.

Why did he make her feel so guilty? It wasn't her fault that she was stuck in that situation. I should go and comfort her right now.

As I approach her slowly, trying not to startle her, I place my hand on her shoulder.

"Hey (F/N). Let me take you home now." I weakly smile at her and she lifts her head from her sleeve.

"I'm a horrible person." she sobbed.

"No (F/N), don't say those things about yourself" I whisper and wrap one arm around her shoulder.

"You had a busy day today, you must be exhausted." I say walking with her slowly. I hand her her bag and she takes it. She holds it near her knees as she drags her feet slowly. She takes out her phone and scrolls through her notifications. Her screen was filled with a bunch of missed calls from Mika and several texts. They read, 'heeey where are you?? I'm going to head home soon with the blonde dude. I couldn't find you after practice but I assumed you're at home already?? Call me back pls.'

"Awe crap. Mika must be worried about me." she said scratching her head. I stop her dead in her tracks, making her surprised by my sudden halt. She looks up at me and I stare at the floor.

"(F/N). I think you worry too much about other people, that you don't have time to worry about yourself"

I look to her with concern written on your face. This time I wanted her to understand the truth. Even though I just met her yesterday, she reminded me so much of myself.

She needs time for herself too.

She looks up at me with a sad face.

Oh no, I didn't mean to insult her.

"Suga. Do you know why I worry about other people? It's because I'm scared to leave them on a bad note. And people come and go in my life, so caring for people is what I can do for them to stay. So yes Suga, sorry if I care too much. But that's just me."

Leaving on a bad note... is she talking about her dad and Kiyoko? She remained silent after that and I felt even more guilty.

Why did I just assume that? God Suga, you need to shut up.

"But I get what you mean" she mumbled as she silently agreed with a tiny head nod

Her phone started ringing which startled both of us. It played the tune 'The Search Is Over' by The Survivor. She takes her phone out her jacket pocket and picks up.

"Um hello. Yes this is her... Oh, okay. No problem. I'll be there."

Her eyes were wide as she hung up and turned to me.

"Um, I'm sorry but I gotta go somewhere."

"Let me come with you" I respond a bit too quickly.

"No, it's okay. Just email me the section I have to write. You can choose the topic." She let go of my hand and starts to head at her own direction. I grab her hand again and stop her by tugging on it,

"Hey, no. That's unfair" I said softly. She turns around and her hair flung around her shoulders in a mesmerizing way.

"What's unfair?" she asks

"Please let me go with you. I don't want you to pull an all-nighter just because of me."

She looks at me with dull eyes, she seems really tired.

"Please let me help you. This is my way of showing I worry about you." I pleaded gazing at her eyes for an answer.

This time I didn't stutter or get embarrassed of what I said. I really wanted to help her. I take hold of her hand and squeeze it gently.

"I care okay? I'm not going to leave you. Where are we going anyway?" I say as if she already agreed for me to come.

"Tokyo" she said quietly

Tokyo?! That's at least a 2 hour train ride!

She could tell by my expression that I were shocked by the destination. She questions,

"Do you still want to come with me?"

Without hesitation I respond with "of course."

I was still holding her hand, but she didn't pull away or refuse. She swung her bag and shuffled her feet. She seemed a bit uncomfortable but, she still continued to hold my hand.

"I can let go if you want me to." I asked politely.

"No its okay. I need this" She squeezed my hand in response, making my heart flutter from that small gesture.

As she makes a left turn, the opposite direction of the train station, I interrupt,

"(F/N), it's this way." I swung my bag in the other direction and her face turned red.

"Oh, sorry. I'm bad with directions" she shyly admitted.

"It's okay. I'll show you the way. You're lucky I live by the train station."

As we start walking in silence, she breaks it by saying,

"You can ask, you know."

Is this about Kageyama? I'm obviously curious but, it felt rude to ask.

"Do you, uh, do you still love him?" I ask watching the cars pass by.

I was too ashamed to ask but I needed to know.

"Oh I meant about 'why Tokyo'. But Kageyama, if you mean as a friend then yes."

Well that was really embarrassing, I thought she was talking about Kageyama. Well I hope they're just friends. I let out a mental sigh in relief.

"Why do you care for people Suga?" she asked suddenly. She wasn't looking at me, but I could tell it wasn't a question she'd normally ask.

"That's a long story. Believe it or not, I have stories too" I say swinging her hand in mine ever so slightly.

She laughs into the air, creating mist. It was a small laugh but it was something that made my heart beat faster.

I missed her laugh, even if it was for short while. I'd listen to it all day if I could.

"It was when I joined volleyball. I started realizing how much I cared for others."

"Sugawara is an exceptional setter. He's good, but I don't think he can play as a regular." coach Ukai speculated as he spoke to the team captain at the time.

Asahi was vital to the team because he was tall and strong. Daichi, on the other hand, had great receives and leadership skills. And what did you have? Really nice penmanship.

"Suga, let's try that again." Ashai encouraged me during the game. I missed the set by so much, but Asahi wasn't the type to call me out for it. What I loved about my friends was that they were all supportive of me. Even when I honestly sucked at it. I played a bit before in middle school, but I was never put in a full set before. I wasn't even considered as a regular.

"One more time Suga!" Daichi yelled as he ran to the net, trusting me to set it right to him.

They have so much faith in me, how can they believe in me so much?

I set the ball with all my might and it just barely met Daichi's hands, allowing him to make it over to the other side.

Yes!

The whistle blew and the ref said, "He touched the net before spiking it. The ball needs to be replayed." The ref made appropriate hand signals, indicating a net violation.

Darn it. I was so close.

Daichi tapped me on the back and said,

"Thanks Suga!"

"But that didn't go through! You could've gotten the point if it wasn't for my crappy set"

I started to get frustrated at myself, but I didn't want the opponents to see my weakness. I hated working hard for something that was clearly unattainable. Impossible even.

"No Suga, I'm thanking you for being there for my spike. Also for always working hard. You got this!"

He threw me a thumbs up, making me smile at my mistakes. Daichi always knew what to say to me. He was like the brother I never had. I smiled at him and this gave me a burning desire to fight on.

"One more time Suga!" Asahi and Daichi yelled.

"Right!"

Karasuno lost, of course. I mean if it wasn't for Asahi, Daichi and the other third-years, they would've lost by a landslide. I'm exhausted as I pack up my things in my volleyball duffle bag.

"Here you go." a hand reached out to me holding a water bottle. I look up and it was Kiyoko.

"Thanks" I say shyly. I was never good at talking to girls. I couldn't even believe Karasuno's manager was a beautiful girl like her.

"You did great today." She murmured.

"Ah thanks, it wasn't me though. It was mostly the rest of the team to be honest." I didn't dare look up at her as I clumsily shove my stuff in my bag at random.

"No seriously! I think you're improving a lot. Oh also..." she takes out her something from her jacket pocket.

"I can't thank you enough for all the diagrams and plays that you made the other night. It really helped us and the coach was surprised"

Oh, my notebook for game plays. How did it get to Kiyoko?

"Coach Ukai saw them near your pillow while you were sleeping. You must've forgotten it"

The whole team always sleeps in one room whenever we had away games. It was kinda hard to sleep with all the snoring that I stayed up all night instead, making game plans. I always do this before a game to calm my nerves. I didn't think coach would actually get to see them.

"We can't thank you enough Sugawara-san." she smiled the most genuine smile I've ever seen. It made me blush as I take back the notebook from her hand.

At that moment, I realize of how much of a difference I made. Even if we didn't win or I wasn't even put into a full set...

I look down at my frayed notebook and smile.

I want Karasuno as a team to make it through nationals, it's my dream. Even if I am helping on the sidelines.

I look towards the gym door where Asahi and Daichi waiting for me.

"Hey c'mon slow poke!" Daichi would yell making a goofy smile.

I'll do it for them.

-------- end p.19----------