I don't even have to knock twice before Nate is opening his front door. He has a huge grin on his face and pulls me into his quiet home.

I'm usually greeted by Nate's mum but it seems as though she isn't in at the moment and Nate's dad doesn't come back for hours. As much as I like his parents, I prefer it when it's just Nate and I.

"I missed you." He says as he stares at me with his dark brown eyes, his grin not faltering one bit even when I roll my eyes at his statement.

"We walked to school together."

"Just because we saw each other this morning doesn't mean I can't miss you." He says as he begins his ascend up the staircase to his bedroom.

A warm feeling radiates through my body just at the thought of being missed by someone.

"I guess I may have missed you too." I add quietly, just loud enough that Nate can hear. He runs down the few steps he was up and plants his lips on mine. I hum in satisfaction.

"I knew it." He whispers triumphantly.

*

"So I told my friends we're together." I say as I take another slice of pizza from the pizza box.

I don't know why I decide to tell him this halfway through the tv show we're watching.

"Oh erm really?" Nate says nervously, wiping his hand across his mouth and smudging tomato sauce on his face in the process.

"Don't worry they're cool with us."

Even with his mouth full, he still manages to sigh in relief.

"I also told them that Josh likes Stevie."

"Chase! You told them!"

"What? Was I not supposed to?" I ask, confused.

"No. You never tell the girl."

"Too late, now she knows." I say with little concern as I focus my attention back onto the tv. I barely watch tv. Especially on a big screen tv like the one in Nate's bedroom. But of course Nate and his eager mouth has to interrupt.

"So....Does she like him back?"

"No. But she said she'll give him a shot."

"Really?" Nate says, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Yep."

"Josh is going to flip out when he finds out. He's going to need all the help he can get. Have you got any advice for him? You know, what stuff Stevie is into? The things she likes and doesn't like?"

"Well she likes smoking. A lot. But not hardcore drugs or anything because quote 'I'm crazy but not that crazy'. She reads a lot too but hates cliches. Watches old movies with the exception of any latest marvel movie that Niall and I are able to drag her into watching. She likes being unpredictable. Hates loud chewers but chomps on gum like a fucking camel. She likes pushing the boundaries and experimenting. Loves conspiracy theories. She likes being underestimated because then she can prove people wrong. And she loves proving people wrong. Trust me, I would know."

"You seem to know a lot about her." Nate says. "Should I be jealous?" He jokes but I can't help but notice a tinge of jealousy in his tone.

I lean in, momentarily forgetting about the pizza sauce on his face and kiss him softly on the cheek. He blushes lightly, smiling at my action. I hardly ever make the first move.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that this is real.

"You have nothing to be worried about." I reassure him. "Stevie and I are strictly friends. She's more of the annoying sister type."

"It's nice that you're close with your friends. You're lucky to have them."

I'm lucky to have you.

"Yeah it may seem like I have a shit tonne of friends around the school, and they're cool and all, but I don't really know them, you know? All I really know are their names and that they like playing football." Nate looks at his hands glumly.

"There are some people who are only supposed to be in your life for a certain time." I say. "Just like my parents." He looks at me sadly. "Eventually my brother." I add. "Hopefully not you?"

I hate how vulnerable I feel right now. But the smile on his face reassures me. It always does.

"I'll be yours for as long as you take me."

Yours.

Mine.

He's mine.

How could I not kiss him at those words.

I love when he kisses me first.

It reminds me that he likes me too and that my feelings aren't one-sided and that this isn't all in my head.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that this is real.

"Be my boyfriend." I whisper against his slightly swollen lips because introducing him as 'the guy I'm kinda sorta dating' doesn't seem to fit right. And I like the way the word sounds when I say it and I like the way everything just feels so right in this moment, from his breath fanning against my lips to his knee gently resting against mine.

"Did you just tell me to be your boyfriend?" He asks with an unreadable expression, breaking out of our close proximity. I preferred it with my eyes closed because now the reality of what I've just said sinks in.

I told him to be my boyfriend. I didn't even ask him, I told him.

"Maybe." I can feel my cheeks turning red and my nerves kicking in.

I wait for a reply, avoiding eye contact with him and instead playing with the crust of my pizza slice. It's silent for a while. I begin to panic slightly. It was too soon. But I don't say anything. I just wait.

I want to say yes.

I know I want to say yes.

But what if I let him down? What if I do something that fucks everything up? I can't risk messing this up.

But I also can't risk getting hurt again.

"No."