I follow Chase and his friends outside the school and try my best not to look like a stalker while doing it. When Chase crosses the road away from Niall and Stevie, I quicken my pace and stop him.

I didn't allow myself anytime to figure out what I should say because I don't need to over complicate this. I like Chase. It's as simple as that. But why do the words sound like a completely different language in my head?

"What do you want Nate?" Chase says with an emotionless expression on his face. And I wonder how he got so good at hiding his feelings.

"Is it weird that I kinda miss you?" I say hesitantly. My hands are deep in my trouser pockets and I fiddle with a loose thread in the seams. This is more nerve-wracking than I thought.

"Erm...yes."

"Is it weird that I would rather spend my nights with you than my girlfriend? No, ex. I mean ex girlfriend."

His eyes widen a little with shock at the newfound information. "Didn't seem like that yesterday." He says.

"That's because I didn't realise then."

"Realise what?" He asks and I can sense the eagerness behind the two word question and hope he knows what I'm about to say.

"That I would much rather be with you than Rachel, even though you're a boy and annoying and rude and closed off and stubborn and..."

"Ok ok I get it. You can shut up now." He says and even though he's trying to keep up that cold demeanour, I can see the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"So what do you say?" I ask.

"What exactly are you asking me?" He smirks and I bite my lip excitedly, knowing where this is going. His smirk already answering my question.

"Go out with me stupid."

"This is so gay." He laughs and I can't help but lightly laugh too.

"Yeah and all your fault."

"I didn't ask you to fall for me." He returns, smugly.

"Just answer the damn question."

"Yeah sure why not."

I take a mental image of the smile currently on his face. It's the most genuine one I've seen yet. And I make a promise to myself that I'll never let it fade and that I'll always give him a reason to smile.

"Do you want to come to my place?" I ask. "I think my mum misses you more than I do."

Chase chuckles before agreeing.

"Chase!" My mother exclaims as she clutches Chase tightly.

"Hi Tracy." My mum finally releases him from her bone-crushing hug. "Sorry I didn't tell you, my brother came back from his business trip early so I went home."

"Oh it's alright I know you two had a little falling out." My mum winks at Chase, making it impossible for me not to face palm. "I'm just happy you lads sorted it out and that you're back Chase." Chase gives me a worried look when she says she knows about our argument but smiles warmly at her anyway.

When my mum finally leaves us alone, I lead Chase upstairs to my room.

"Don't worry, she doesn't actually know about anything that's happened, she just thinks we got into a fight."

"Oh ok. Good." Chase replies as he sits on my bed.

"Would you be angry if she knew about us?" I ask, sitting next to him.

He thinks for a little before replying. "I guess not. She seems to be pretty understanding."

"Yeah. Yeah she is." I think about telling my mum and how she'll react to me and Chase being together. It makes me smile to think that Chase and I are somewhat a couple.

"What are you smiling about?" Chase asks.

"Nothing." He raises an eyebrow at me. "Fine. Us."

"Us?" He smiles.

"Yes." I reply.

He leans in slowly. And I gasp at his actions because for once I'm not initiating the kiss. He is. The gap between our lips is so incredibly small but I'm not going to close it. He is. And after a few agonising seconds he does.

His lips are warm and soft against mine. It starts off gentle. His hands on my cheek. My hands on his waist. And we kiss and kiss until he turns greedy and I become too generous.

But before he can push me back against the bed I whisper "Stay with me."

He shakes his head lightly with a sad smile after realising what I've asked from him and caresses my cheek. "I can't."

"Why? Just tell my parents the truth and then they will let you stay here for as long as you need. You can stay here with me. It'll be like last time except I wont be kissing Rachel, I'll be kissing you."

His lips form a small smile again but it disappears quickly. "I-I can't. My brother won't be able to take care of himself all alone. And besides he's alright now. He didn't make as big of a fuss about what happened at my place as I thought he would."

"He wasn't angry with you?" I ask, slightly stunned at Derek's approach to all this. "He didn't hit you?"

"No. He just said that I can't have anymore friends over."

"You can't have anymore friends over." That's what Derek said when he saw me. He came back around 4am this morning when I couldn't sleep. I thought he was going to hit me. After that day with Nate when Derek pulled out the knife, I thought for certain the second I stepped foot back into this house that I was going to be beaten to a pulp. But all he did was storm into my room, look at me, say those words and then take a swig of his bottle of alcohol before going to his own room.

"No offence but I don't think I want to go back there." Nate says.

"None taken." I reply.

After having dinner with the Nightly's and spending more time with Nate, I go home much to Nate's disapproval.

My older brother is sitting on the coach, staring blankly at the tv screen. One hand holding the remote, the other holding a glass. He's his same void self. Tired, I head up to my room.

"Goodnight Derek." I say as I go up the stairs not expecting a reply but saying it anyway.

"Goodnight." Derek mutters.

That's the first time he has ever said goodnight to me.