"Come on Chase. The sooner we go to your house the sooner this shit with Coach Ray is over with."

"You can't come to my house." Chase says for about the 11th time. It's our free period and I'm trying to convince Chase to do the one last thing that Coach demands of us.

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not a good enough excuse." I say sternly. "Coach said we need to get to know each other. Once we do this we're done. We can actually play during practice and not have to throw bloody water balloons at each other. Come on man don't you want that?"

"Alright, alright you can come to mine after school. Just quit whining and meet me at the gates at the end of last period." I smile at my little triumph but a look of worry is plastered on Chase's face.

"Don't worry I'm not going to trash your house or anything." I say.

"It's not that." He states and walks away to his friends sitting at the bench.

*

Chase is hesitant to open his front door. He pushes it very slowly, almost like he's trying not to trip an alarm.

Wait a minute. Is this not his house? Are we breaking into someone else's house?!

"Oi, this is your house right?" I whisper.

"Yes it is." He replies, rolling his eyes and finally walking in. Immediately, I get hit with the smell.

Yeah some of my friends smoke but I've never smelt weed this strong. It's almost like it has fused into the furniture and into the walls, like the air is permanently stained with the stench.

I try my hardest not to scrunch my face in disgust. I don't want to seem rude. As I look around I see a man sitting on the sofa in the living room with a full glass in his hands.

He isn't supposed to be here. It's Wednesday, he's usually out with his mates. He isn't supposed to be here.

"Hey Chasey." He says with a smirk on his dry lips. "You didn't tell me your mate was coming over. I've never met one of your mates before." He stands and staggers towards us.

"I'm Nate." I would offer a handshake but it seems as though his hands are preoccupied.

"I'm Derek. Chase's older brother." He wraps his arm around the shoulders of an angry looking Chase.

"Get the fuck off me Derek." He harshly nudges his brother's arm off of his shoulder and as Derek is taken off guard, he drops the glass of alcohol.

"Oi watch it you little runt." Derek retorts. "What have I said about you watching your fucking mouth when you talk to me?! Huh! What have I fucking said?!" I take in the scene shocked that one broken glass can cause such an aggressive reaction from the older guy. His speech is slurred due to the alcohol but he's able to grab Chase's shirt with too much force. He raises his fist and I fear he's going to hit him. Then I look at Chase and see he's got his eyes screwed up, anticipating the punch. He's not stopping him. He's not fighting back. He's letting him do it.

As Derek drives his fist closer to Chase's face, I am suddenly so filled with anger and panic that I push Derek away before he can land a punch, perhaps with a little too much force as well. He falls to the floor.

It's like when I first saw him with those bruises. How angry the idea of someone hurting him makes me feel.

"Don't you dare fucking touch him again you hear me!" I yell, furious at the man that calls himself Chase's brother. But I recognise the fury in his face, the fire in his eyes so similar to Chase's yet so different. Before I can even notice, he's got an object in his hands.

He's pulled out a fucking knife.

"If you think you're so brave come and say that to my face!" I can tell from his stern grip on the knife and they way he spins it in his palms that he's not afraid to use it. He's hurt someone before and seems eager to do it again. I don't plan on being his next victim.

We need to get out of here. Is all I think. Chase and I need to get away from this maniac. I turn to Chase but he seems to be in a vegetive state. He looks tired, defeated, like he's been fighting the same unending battle for years. Maybe he has.

Derek moves closes. The knife still poised.

I grab Chase's hand and run out the door.

And it's almost like he's come back to reality and realises what events have just taken place. We run from his house, from his psycho brother until we reach the bridge over the lake where we rest.

There's no one around. Chase stands leaning on the side of the bridge. He's got that defeated look on him again as he looks out to the grey sky. Suddenly, he starts to speak.

I start to speak and I tell him everything. I tell him the truth.

"My dad isn't really dead, he's in prison. He was a druggie, got involved with some bad people and ended up in a cell. He may as well be dead though. But my dad wasn't just a deadbeat dad, no, he was a terrible husband too. The drinking and drugs drove Mum away. That and his constant violent outbreaks. She was lucky enough to get away but she left my brother and I behind. A small price she was willing to pay for her freedom. Then there's my brother. Charming isn't he? He doesn't work for a business unless you call dealing drugs a business. He's a shit brother. Hits me a lot. But I don't have it in me to hit him back. And there you have it. Now you know me. Me and my fucked up life." He chuckles darkly.

I stand there shocked at this newfound information.

"No one has ever defended me from my brother before. Am I supposed to thank you?"

"You don't need to thank me." I reply.

"I'm never getting into drugs." Chase says as he pulls of his school jumper that still has the smell of weed on it and throws it into the river below.

"My friends are into that stuff but I've never really took an interest in it." I add awkwardly.

I don't know what else to say and so I say nothing at all. It's quiet for a while until I hear him whisper "Sometimes I just want to end it all."

My heart stops.

"Chase don't say stuff like that. You don't mean it." I say looking at his profile.

"Oh but the thing is I do." And he does this weird chuckle. "I wonder how I'll do it."

"Chase." I say sternly.

"My brother's got a stash of pills."

"Chase." I repeat firmly.

"Remember when I said I didn't really have any future plans?"

"Yeah."

"I lied...Again. I've always wanted to be a pilot." He does that weird chuckle again and the smile on his face doesn't seem real. He looks down at the shallow water underneath the bridge. "Maybe now I'll now what it feels like to fly."

"Chase stop it. Please stop." I whisper. A stray tear glides down his cheek. Just one. And he doesn't bother wiping it away. And I hate the way that one tear is making me feel. I hate the my own eyes are welling up with tears.

"God I hate my life. How am I supposed to feel right now?" He finally turns to look at me. I expected to see the pain in his watery green eyes but instead I see this empty void. "Am I supposed to be angry or upset or irritated? Because right now I feel nothing!" He shouts.

I just want him to stop.

"Nothing." I whisper.

And then I feel something. Nate's lips on mine. And just like that everything stops.

I don't realise I've kissed him until he kisses me back. That's when I realise everything.

The softness of his lips, the slight stubble on his jaw, his gentle grasp on my arms, the fact the I'm kissing a boy and not just any boy, Chase. I'm kissing Chase. Once that realisation hits me, I pull away and run.