《All at Once (Complete)》xxi. Indescribable

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"Wait, you cannot be serious!" My eyes were watering and my stomach clenching in pain from the intense laughter. "Nathaniel Martin, in a tutu? I can't even imagine it!"

"It's really not that funny, B." Nate's face was dead straight but I could see the twinkle of amusement in his eyes, he liked seeing his mumma giggling.

From the moment Nate and I had walked in, Mrs. Martin had been nothing but smiles. I can't imagine how good it must have been to see her little boy after so long... If only Riley could be here.

"But honey, that's not even the best story... What about the time when he broke his leg, jumping off the roof, trying to teach himself to fly?" Mr. Martin chimed in causing Nate to groan and hang his head. Everyone reignited the loud laughter that had been occurring more often than words even. No one would have known we were in a hospital until Mrs. Martin began a coughing fit and the reality hit us all like a brick.

We were in a hospital. Mrs. Martin had cancer. Nate was going to lose his mum.

"I'll get a nurse," Nate said as he almost frantically reached for the door.

"No, sweetie," Mrs. Martin coughed, "don't trouble them."

"But mum-"

"I'm fine, Nathaniel... I could just do with some water."

The tight room and somber feel within it was beginning to weigh on me, so I offered to go retrieve the water.

As soon as the door shut behind me I bent over, overcome with emotion. Watching a person die chips away at you, it really does. Especially when that person is as amazing as Mrs. Martin.

I'd only known her for a few days but I could already see her beautiful soul.

From the moment I walked in, my hand in Nate's, she had welcomed me. After she broke down with tears, claiming how happy she was that she knew her boy had someone to love him, even after she was gone, neither of us had the heart to tell her we weren't together.

I must have taken too long because Nate opened the door and stepped into the hallway with me.

"What's wrong? I thought you were getting water."

Looking up at him, the solider saw the tears in my eyes and opened his arms to me. We stood, holding each other in that bare, sterile hallway. I've never found it harder to stop my tears. How could someone so young have seen so much death? He didn't deserve this. He deserved to be happy.

"I'm sorry, I should be comforting you, not the other way around." I tried to smile up at Nate, and he smiled back before pulling me tighter.. Maybe I was helping him after all.

"She's got you hooked already. Fast worker my mum."

"It's hard not to love her."

He took a deep breath, "yeah I know. Let's go get the water."

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We turned and headed for the vending machine that descended water bottles. Mrs. Martin was very picky and refused to drink tap water. Nate and I linked our fingers as we walked, swaying our hands slightly. Maybe it was the overload of emotion or just my overthinking brain but I had never felt a connection like I did with Nate, not even with Christian.

He had called me many times since our run in at home, asking to meet me and talk. I didn't bother responding. There was nothing he could to convince me I could ever trust him again. I remember the sinking dread and explosion of anger that had entered me when I found him with his little whore.

We reached the machine and Nate let go of my hand to dig for coins in his pocket. He slotted them in and pressed A3 and down tumbled the water.

We turned and began walking back to the room. I was apprehensive to return to the room and the sadness and fake smiles that accompanied it. But I was not the one to be worried here. I was a stranger. I had no right to be concerned about myself.

We passed children, teenagers, pregnant women and elderly. Nothing like sickness to bring people are all ages and backgrounds together.

We were right outside the door to Mrs. Martin's room when her doctor approached us.

"Hello Nathaniel, Bliss." He nodded at us. "I've just come in to check up on your mother. How does she seem to be doing?"

"She's okay I suppose," Nate answered. "She had a coughing fit earlier but shes about as good as can be expected."

The doctor smiled then, and I looked at Nate in hope. "She may be doing even better than that. Looking at your mums scans and progress with chemo she seems to be doing exceptionally well."

The widest smile I have ever seen in my life erupted upon Nate's face and I knew I looked just as ecstatic.

"Now don't get too excited, shes not cured but I am very pleased with her progress. I'm going to go let your parents know." He opened the door and stepped inside.

I looked up at Nate in silence for a moment before giving out a little giggle of excitement and jumping to hug him. His face was bright with joy as he hugged me tight.

"See?" I said, "Everything's going to be alright."

The doctor stepped out from the room and smiled at us before heading off to his other patients I assume.

Both Nate and I rushed to open the door and enter the room.Mr. Martin stood by the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around Mrs. Martin and a relieved and hopeful look on his face.

I could tell that he wanted to believe everything would be okay, but they had gone through this before and she had still relapsed. It could happen again.

For a moment I put his worries out of my head and rushed in to sit with Mrs. Martin. I gave her a hug after Nathaniel finally let go of her.

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"I'm going to get better for good this time, I can feel it."

-

"You should call Riley," I said, folding the towel and placing it on the foot of the bed. It was late, but I'm sure he'd still be up.

Nate and I had come back to our hotel room about an hour ago, showered and gotten ready for bed. We had had a long day of celebrations and I was ridiculously tired.

"Yeah, I will. He'll be glad to know mums gonna be okay and he doesn't have to leave Sabbie." I smiled, I was glad he wouldn't have to leave Sabbie as well. As much as I wanted Mrs. Martin to see her son, I also wanted Sabine to be safe, and I could only be confident of that if she was with Riley.

Nate pulled out the phone and dialed the number for Riley's burner. He answered in just a few rings.

"Hey, Rye, I have great news... Yeah, yeah, mums gonna be okay. The doctor told us today she's doing great at chemo and he thinks shes gonna make it."

Riley's cheer on the other end was so loud I could hear it, which made me smile. The boys continued to speak about Mrs. Martin and how things were going, then they moved onto the usual updates before it was finally Sabbie and I's turn.

"Sabbie!" I called into the phone, hyped on the excitement of the day and that fact that we hadn't spoken in a few days.

"Hey B!" She sounded a lot less stressed and run down than she had last we spoke. Either she was getting better at acting or her and Riley had figured things out. "How are things going down there?"

"Alright, I suppose. It's been very... tense... But I think it's going to be good now." I smiled up at Nate as he stood in front of me. "Are things between you and Riley going okay?"

She sighed and hesitated for a moment. "Umm.. Yeah?"

"Is that a question or an answer, Sabbie?"

"I don't know, I just.. It's hard, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it. But you guys will work it out I'm sure." I tried to sound hopeful. As annoying as Riley is he doesn't strike me as one to hold a grudge. Especially against Sabine.

"I'm sure.." She trailed off, there was something she wasn't telling me. "Oh, looks like our time is up, B. I'll talk to you soon. I love you."

"Okay," I sighed, a little disappointed. "I love you too." I passed the phone back to Nate with a sad smile.

Nate said a few more words to Riley before they hung up. He looked at me and smiled, "come on now, lets get some sleep."

-

"No! No, but you said she was better... You said... I don't understand..."

I slowly opened my eyes, despite their protest.. I hadn't had much sleep. As my vision focused I could see it was still pitch black outside. What had woken me?

"Tell me this is a joke!" I heard Nate scream, at whom I don't know. Apparently that was my answer.

I quickly sat up, eager to find what it was that had caused him to go off like this. Nate stood in the centre of the room, in nothing but track pants, pacing back and forth. He had one hand running through his hair and the other holding a phone to his ear. A real one, not the burner.

He looked angry, but in a second that anger changed to something indescribable. I remember the first time I had ever seen my dad cry. I was about six and we had just gotten home from my aunts funeral. She was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. I didn't remember her much, but I did remember seeing my father, a big and stoic man, burst into tears in our living room. I didn't know what to do then, and I didn't know what to do now...

Nate dropped the phone and collapsed to his knees, the first sob escaping his body upon impact. I ripped the covers of and crawled to him, not saying a word but pulling him into my arms. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and cried. I hated seeing him so hurt and I hated more that I could do nothing to help him. So we just sat there, knelt on the floor at some Godly hour in the morning.

It was hours before we moved, and the sun had begun to rise when he looked up at me.

"She's gone, Bliss. Mum's gone."

-

I thought the hospital room was bland and sterile before, but this was ten times worse. The empty bed with tucked in sheets said more than anyone needed to. Nathaniel was seated next to his father, a hand on one shoulder in an attempt to comfort him as they both stared at the new sheets. Not a single word had been said since we entered the room. The doctors didn't disturb us, knowing that the boys needed time.

Apparently the hospital had called Riley after they hung up, I can't imagine how he was handling the news. Nate had been able to spend time with Mrs. Martin before she... and he had his dad. Riley had none of that. I hope he's okay.

"I think it might be best we go." Mr. Martin said, but he didn't make a move to get up. Nate took a deep breath before nodding.

"We have to organise a funeral and her will and-"

"Don't worry about that now. We need to take her home first. How is your brother doing?"

"I haven't spoken to him since-" Nate shook his head, "I should've called. I didn't think."

"It's alright... It'll be alright."

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