It had been pretty great having someone around who wasn't always 'life or death' like Riley is. Spence was a burst of fun that was very desperately needed within that cabin. He came over every single day and brought a new board game with him each time, it had become practice that the three of us would sit around the long coffee table in the centre of the lounge room and play whichever new game Spence had brought. It was customary that we tease Riley about his competitive attitude, despite the fact that he normally won. Over a month of eating crap food (and listening to Riley's 'eat healthy' speech, which Spence and I both ignored), being absolute idiots and playing games had passed. The loss of my parents was still heavy but with every day it grew lighter and lighter.

It was a typical Thursday morning in the Greyson/Martin household. Riley was making himself some yogurt and granola healthy crap for breakfast while I tried to convince him that every good diet included pancakes.

"C'mon, Riley. You put strawberries and bananas on pancakes and that's healthy so..." I pleaded.

"And those two pieces of fruit cancel out all the sugar and ice cream you put on it?" He says, with a single raised eyebrow. Despite that fact that he's right I don't give up my endeavor .

"C'mon Riley, pplleeaassee...?" Under normal circumstances I wouldn't resort to begging but this along with my infamous puppy dog eyes always broke him down.

After a moment of careful consideration, he throws his hands up in defeat with a loud sigh, "Fine, I'll make your heart-attack inducing pancakes."

Despite the dig, I clapped my hands in delight, "Yay, thank you, Riley!" I exclaim and reach toward him for a hug. He reluctantly abides before pulling away to grab the flour.

I hear the front door creak open and smile, Spence is here. Considering how often he is here (literally every day), I thought it was only fair that he get a key. My main reasoning behind it was that I wouldn't have to get up and answer the door every time he came but that's beside the point.

"In the kitchen, Spence!" I called out.

He came sliding down the hallway (yes, when i say sliding I mean sliding. Spencer had started wearing fluffy socks so he could slide around on the hardwood floors of the house rather than walking like a normal person. I did have to admit though, it was a lot of fun.)

"Ooh, count me in for some pancakes!" He says as he enters the kitchen. Riley growls and mumbles something about obesity crisis under his breath before making more mixture.

"Spencer!" I shout as he pulls up a seat on the kitchen bench beside me.

"Sabbie!" He shouts back. "What's been happening, my girl?"

"Not much really, I've had to listen to Mr. Calorie critic over here complain about how fat I was going to get for the last half hour."

Spence laughed at that, "Yeah, he's a worrier, that one."

"You guys do know that I can hear you, right?" Riley says as he flips a pancake like a pro.

"Yes," Spencer and I say at the same time.

"Do you wanna see what game I brought us today?" He asks, hands hidden behind his back.

"Ooh! Yes, yes! What is it?" I ask, jumping up and down in excitement. After living with a stone-cold police officer by ourselves in the middle of nowhere without phones or television, I've learnt to find excitement in the little things.

Spence pulls out a game of 'Trouble' from behind him and I smile bigger than I have in a very long time, "Daddy and I used to play that every second Tuesday night when mum was at work."

"Well, you should be good at it then. It'll be odd for you to beat me, maybe shake things up a little bit." It was true, I always lost... But so did Spence, Riley won pretty much every game we played. This was mainly due to the fact that he actually paid attention and played strategically, whereas Spence and I just messed around.

"Oh, its so on, Spencer..." My grin became childish, "Race you." Yes, the distance from the kitchen to the lounge room was only a few metres but it had been so long since my legs had actually ran (Riley had been insistent that since going outside is what caused Spence to find us, I shouldn't step out the door again) and they reveled in the feeling before skidding to a stop in front of the coffee table and falling on my butt. I hadn't even been paying attention to Spence and was quite annoyed to find him sitting right in front of me, not at all out of breath and looking far too pleased with himself.

"Maybe winning just isnt for you, Greyson," he winked and laughed at his own joke.

"Oh ha ha," I said, quite sarcastically. "Can we start now?"

"Yeah, if police-boy over there would hurry up!" He called loud enough for Riley to here.

"Police-boy could quite easily stop cooking your heart disease incarnate if you want!" Riley shouted back, still cooking our pancakes.

"No, no, nope we can wait sorry Riley!" I turned to Spencer hand shoved him playfully, "How dare you jeopardize my pancakes!" My playful shove turned into harder shove from Spence until we were both rolling on the floor as though we were the next WWE stars.

"Ahem," Riley said, standing with our pancakes in hand and a disapproving look on his face. "Diabetes is served," he stated begrudgingly before placing it down and storming away.

"Fantastic," I mumbled before standing up and easing myself from Spence's grip. I began walking toward the staircase that Riley had ascended. Just great, the last thing I needed was a pissed off Riley. I know he doesn't like Spence but he wouldn't hurt me, why was Riley being annoying about this?

"Do you have any idea how inappropriate you're being right now?" He almost shouted at me before I even got to the top of the stairs.

"Inappropriate? What?" I asked in utter confusion, meeting him on the top level.

He growled and stepped closer to me, his face in mine. I'd never been more intimidated in my life, but there was no way I could back down. He began to whisper but it sounded more like a shout and I'd had never been more gutted in my life, "in case you have forgotten, princess. You're here because your parents were shot. Murdered. Don't you think cuddling up with some stranger on a couch is not only inappropriate but disrespectful to your mother and father?!"

All I saw was red. Hard, Bloody, Red. "How. Dare. You? I was not cuddling with anyone, you pig. And my parents have absolutely nothing to do with this. What gives you the right to even speak about them? You know nothing!"

-

I don't know whether my hand was sore because I slapped him or because I was clenching my fists but I don't remember what I did after saying that sentence. All I know is I have been sitting out here for a while, staring into the blades of vibrant green grass. It's cool, mainly because these trees block most of the sun but I like it. Out here I can think and breathe clearly. I don't even know what to say about my argument with Riley, every time I start to think he's easing up, he does something stupid like that. The worst part is that as much as I hate him for saying something that broke me in two, I can't stop feeling like my heart belongs to him. Which is absolutely the dumbest thing I've ever thought.

A soft crunch of breaking leaves sounds behind me, and I turn to see Spence. He gives me a hesitant smile and I nod, letting him know its okay for him to sit with me.

"Hey, Sabbie... You okay?" Spence takes a seat on the ground beside me but wisely doesn't touch me. I don't know how I would handle contact at this point.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just cooling off."

"Look, I don't know what that argument was about but I can guess it had something to do with me."

"Riley's a dick. Please don't be fazed by him, Spence."

He laughed, "Oh, I'm not. But are you?"

"He just gets me so angry all the time over stupid silly things and I hate it so much. I don't understand why he's like this."

"5 words for you, baby," Spence hesitated, "He's a man in love."

Astounded, I scoffed. "Ha! Yeah, right. Why would he say such hateful things if he loved me?"

"Because its the only way he knows how to protect you. From both the world and himself."

I was still in disbelief. "No, that doesn't make any sense."

"I know Sabbie. But trust me on this one."

"How do you know?"

"Because he and I? We're in the same boat with this one."

-

It had been 4 hours since Spence had walked away after basically admitting that both he and Riley were in the love with me. There was no way. Absolutely none. Neither of those accusations made any sense whatsoever. He had to be kidding, one of Spence's many jokes. But the more I thought about it the more situations kept popping into my head. Like how Riley checks on me at least 3 times a night when he thinks I'm sleeping. Or how Spence doesn't let me go get groceries with him anymore because its 'too dangerous'. Or when the boys sit next to each other on the couch so that neither of them can sit next to me. Events kept coming into my mind and they wouldn't stop.

It couldn't be true. Because I wouldn't know what to do if it was.

After spending an entire day literally watching grass grow I decided it was time to face the music and go back inside. Hearing the front door squeak open was torture. The house was as silent as a hospital for the dead.

It was late in the afternoon but sun still shone through the glass windows of the house. It was a beautiful property, considering it's age.

Neither of the boys sat in the lounge room or the kitchen so I headed upstairs, the bathroom and spare beds were empty which only left Riley's room unseen. The door was shut which might as well have been a big 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign, but I was desperate to apologise or at least see how mad he was. So against better judgment I walked in anyway.

The room was dark because he had the blinds over the window closed. It was tidy, as per usual except for the bedding which looked like it had been trampled over by a herd of elephants. Pillows and sheets lay shrown across the left side of the floor.

Riley sat on the distressed bed, burner cell phone to his ear. He turned his head slightly in my direction before returning his gaze to the floor. Fantastic, he's still mad.

"No, Nate, trust me, it doesn't go away. I can't help you." I heard a mumble from the other line come through the speaker. He was talking to Nate, which meant Bliss. I don't care how mad Riley is at me, I want to speak to my best friend, " I can't speak about it right now. Please put Bliss on the phone."

Without another word or even a look in the eye, he handed the phone over to me. I've never been more confused in my life. Speaking to Bliss usually requires an argument with Riley first... Oh, shit. I really messed up.

"Hey B, oh my god I miss you." I needed to hear her voice, Bliss always, always cheers me up.

"Hey Sabbie. I know, my girl, I miss you too." She sounded excited, happy. Which made me smile.

"How are things going with Nathaniel?"

Her giggle at the question made me both curious and worried, "that poor boy. What have you done to him?"

"Nothing!" She responds, "but Sabbie, do you know how much fun it is disobeying him? He gets so mad!"

That made me smile. Nate was a good-hearted guy, and pretty easy going but I can imagine just how much Bliss's stubbornness was getting on his nerves.

"Be nice, B. He's doing us a favour."

"I know! But he's just so frustrating," I couldn't help but laugh at that. She got off easy.

"Trust me, B, when I say that I absolutely know." I heard my voice drop in defeat at that but I couldn't help it.

"Hey..." She said softly, "everything alright, pretty girl? Just gimme the word and I'll come get you. I don't care what Protect and Serve over the says, I'll do it." The worst part is, she was dead serious.

"Yeah, I know.. I think I'll be okay. I just miss you, B."

"I miss you too, Sabbie."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh my God, my gorgeous people. If you hate me I totally get it. My hands are up in surrender. I am literally the worst person ever. 4 months since I updated?!?! How horrible is that?!? I'm so so so sorry.

Now that the grovelling for your forgiveness is over, DO YOU LIKE CHAPTER 19??? I threw in some confessions and a fair bit of drama since I feel like it was getting boring. I know where I am headed with the story (hopefully) from the point on and am really excited for you all to read it.

Love you all so much.

Love Always,

Taylor xx

P.S. This Chapter goes out to for kicking my butt into gear and making me finish it. Much love xxx