--- 33 ---

ANDY:

“You’re an idiot!” I mumbled against his chest when he pulled me to him again, kissing my hair.

“I love you Andy.” He told me, gripping much tightly around my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat hearing that. How long had I waited for him to say that! I thought I’d burst into cry. I wanted to hug him back so bad but I pulled away.

“So now you do?” my effortless sarcastic tone hit him just as hard as it pained me to say it.

“I do.”

“Are you sure Austin?” I crocked my eye brow, folding my arms at my chest because I felt it would explode and my heart will rip out.

“Yeah.” He whispered, shutting his eyes to hide his regret, his pain. His words faded with his breath that I could feel on my face as we both stood really close. He inhaled a lot of air and then looked down at me, directly in my eyes, pleadingly. “I am sure.”

“You better be! Because I don’t think I’ll be able to survive heartbreaks again.” I bit my lip as my eyes started to tear up.

“I’m so sorry…” he slipped his palm to my cheek, cupping it softly. “I’ve hurt you so much. I’m so, so sorry Andy.” He gritted his teeth, sucking in the cold breeze. One moment I had started to believe Austin and me are over and now he was standing in front of me confessing his guilt. Everything seemed to blend in so well. The dark clouds, just ready to pour down, cold breeze softly passing by, ruffling through Austin’s messy hair, his intense blue eyes boring into mine… the moment was just so perfect, I wanted it to freeze. He brought his face closer, resting his forehead against mine. At the touch of our skin a current pass through me. “I’m so in love with you Andy,” he whispered. “So much in love that I was scared I might hurt you over and over. I changed for you and the baby… but I can’t change my past. My life’s always been a mess but you… You are the best thing that had ever happened to me and I never wanted you to be a part of my mess—”

His words were so beautiful and I wanted him to go on and on forever but I cut him off. “Then maybe you shouldn’t have made me fall in love with you.” I mumbled and he chuckled weakly.

“Do you think you can forgive me for everything I did?” his questioning eyes wandered in mine. Plead danced on his lashes. I bit my lip because I knew if I’ll breakdown if I speak, but I wanted to tell him he was forgiven. Like reading my mind he spoke. “I’m tired of pretending. There’s nothing I want more than you.”

“Oh yeah? Why didn’t you think of this when you wake up from the coma and left with my baby’s sonogram DVD?” my voice quivered.

“Our baby…” he corrected me and I had to fight to keep the smiled appearing on my face. My heart swelled as he said ‘Our Baby’.

“You really thought I didn’t know you were just pretending to not love me? You thought I didn’t know why you took that DVD with you? Who were you fooling huh?”

The intensity of his eyes faded leaving the melting softness. “I don’t know… but I just love you.”

My heart flipped and my blood rushed through my body. I felt I’d explode. There was so much I was feeling I didn’t know how to react. I loved Austin and I hated him too. I wanted to hug him but I was angry at him too. Not knowing why I unfolded my arms and my right hand rushed passed Austin’s face, my palm hitting his left cheek which turned red instantly. “Why didn't you realize it sooner!”

He turned his face to me, his expressions disheveled. For a minute we both stood frozen, just staring into each others eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but my left hand was already up and within a second it got intact with his right cheek. It turned red and when he looked at me again I saw through my blurred vision that his eyes were wet too. “This was for dropping your brain somewhere when you ran away!” I tried to control my trembling voice but it didn’t help. Another tear escaped my eye. “Don’t ever—”

“I love you.” He cut me off and I was glad about it.

Resisting the urge to kiss him right away, I slapped him for the third time on his right cheek “This was for taking away my engagement ring!” my voice shook so bad but I didn’t look way from his eyes. He drew a long breath and leaned closer. Suddenly he was so tall and the wetness from his eyes was gone. His eyes stoned but soft, stared deep into mine. I felt myself shrinking.

“Are you done?” his question caught me off guard. I just stared at him dumbfounded. “You wanna beat me some more?”

“Huh?” it was all I could respond. “Uh, I…” I started but there weren’t any words left for me to say.

His hand came up to my wrist and he gripped it tightly but gently. I hadn’t realized I still had my hand up in the air, right in the position to slap him but I hadn’t intended to. He brought my hand down and leaned closer, bringing his mouth to my ear.

“I really missed that. Thank you.” He whispered. His breath sent shivers down my spine. He pulled back looking in my eyes “I’m sorry for acting the way I did and I’m sorry for taking your ring away but the truth is; I don’t wanna keep this engagement anymore.” His words sucked my breath away. The cold breeze froze, clouds darkened and from the corner of my eye I saw lightening struck down in some distance but nothing seemed to disturb us. He just stood there holding my hand, staring down at me and my heart beat dropping down so much I couldn’t feel it anymore. His expressions remained serious as he spoke again. “I can’t wait longer than I already have. I want to marry you right now.”

My heart literally stopped, breath lost, mouth went dry. For a second I thought I heard it wrong but his words echoed in my ear. ‘I want to marry you right now.’ I couldn’t find my voice. Just as still as I was, Austin stared down at me.

After what seemed like million years he drew a long breath of impatience and said and sighed. “Andy… I ignored you, you cried. I pushed you away, you shouted at me. And now I tell you I need you back, you do nothing… I tell you I love you, you don’t say it back. I ask you to marry me now, you don’t say anything.” He licked his lips briefly. “And now I’m going to kiss you… and I want you to say yes, alright?” it wasn’t a request but an order.

He brought his face closer, I closed my eyes, he touched his smooth lips to mine and I felt my heart beat returning back. He didn’t push the kiss knowing I was still frozen. A little later he pulled back, looking in my eyes without blinking. “Say it.”

I was still blank. The world around me was spinning. ‘I want to marry you right now.’ For so long I wanted to hear him say that but now I was stunned. Assuming I won’t say anything, he kissed me again and this time he licked my lip to gain entrance. I did and just as our tongues touched, I felt sparks everywhere. A tiny drop of water dripped on my cheek, a second later another dropped followed by many others and I knew it had started to drizzle. He didn’t break apart, letting the rain pour down on both of us. The sparks from the kiss made me feel dizzy as, but soon he was pulling back.

“Say it.” He said huskily and I knew he’d felt the commotion too.

“What?” I meant it. I didn’t exactly knew what he was talking about anymore because the touch of his lips on mine had made my mind flood with so many emotions that I forgot what was going on.

Within seconds the drizzle turned into thick rain drops, wetting us from head to toe. His face still looked perfect and I wondered how I was looking to him. “Say yes. Marry me Now Andy.” He said each word separately, forcefully and clearly. The rain drops stopping on his lips every time before slipping down.

My heart leaped, pounding harder now. “You mean right now, right now?”

He just nodded, staring deep in my eyes.

“You know what you are saying right?” I wasn’t sure why was I delaying the answer when it was obvious that I wanted this too. I couldn’t blink even when the water droplets stayed heavily on my lashes.

Like he knew I want to say yes too he smiled and said. “I want to hear you say it Andy.” I could feel that he was getting really impatient but he didn’t show it. I still had a lump in my throat that made it difficult for me to say anything. He crocked his brow. “Well?”

“I’ll look fat in my wedding dress.”

Just for a second he looked stunned but then he glanced down at my almost five months pregnant bulging belly and his face glowed as a smile curved on his lips. He squeezed my hand looking back at me. “You’ll look beautiful.”

I ignored the uneven beat of my heart and nerving breath that his words had caused but he sensed it. He smirked. For a second I felt I wasn’t standing there in the rain but in his house, with his arm around my waist, when for the first time Austin had joked about me being his future wife in front of the whole school in his party just a few hours before I lost my virginity to him.

He’d smirked in the same way he was smirking right now but this time he didn’t joke. It was for real but I found myself saying the same I’d said before. “You’re such a loser Austin…”

He grinned. “I missed hearing that.” With that, his mouth was on mine again. His hands slipped around my waist just as my arms wrapped around his neck. “I love you Andy Carter with all my heart.” He mumbled.

“I love you Austin Blake Carlson.” I said trying not to break the kiss and not caring about the rain or thunder anymore.

He slightly pulled back, totally breathless. Our noses were still touching. “Was that a yes?”

“Yes!” I breathed out and this time I was the one to kiss him. His one hand moved up to my face and slipped in my wet hair. As my arms tightened around his neck, his hand crept deeper in my hair. His nibbled on my lip and I moaned clutching his hair in my fingers. His lips worked back and forth on mine and I allowed him to enter my mouth and the frenzy began. He moaned, tightening his grip around my waist.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Startled we broke apart, looking in the direction of the voice. Paul stood a few feet away from us, his car parked behind him. We were so involved in ourselves; we didn’t notice when he came or how much he had heard. His jeans was soaked just below his knees although he was holding an umbrella over his head and that’s when I realized it was raining extremely hard just like it had rained the day Austin got hurt when my car collided with his. I shrugged, concentrating on Paul now.

I felt Austin’s body stiffen, his breath unsteady as we both stared at Paul with our eyes wide open. “Having fun huh?” he mockingly shouted over the splashing sound of the rain. “Do you mind taking it to your room? You’re scaring the kid.”

Sitting over his left arm was a kid of about year and a few months, with slightly damp blond hair, soft emerald green eyes, and full cheek red from the cold and red lips. He stared at us with amusement.

“Oh my god!” I let out the breath I was holding. Without knowing I was moving towards him, surprisingly with Austin by my side. He was just as astonished as I was. I looked from Paul to the baby. Exactly the same face. He was beautiful.

“Say hi, Junior.” Paul prompted the kid.

“Hi.” He waved his tiny hand, grinning at me showing his two tiny front teeth.

“Junior…” Austin whispered out his name and I saw him scanning his perfect face. Smiled stretched wide on his face.

“She named him Junior Paul.” Paul said, smiling at his kid. He smiled back and looked at me, stretching his arms with to me. “Wan’ Dee.” He said in chuckling tone.

My heart leaped. “You want to go to Andy?” Paul asked. Junior leaned towards me, stretching his arms to me, trying to catch me. “Wan’ Dee.” I was shocked to hear my name from his mouth. Of course Paul had talked about me. A lot. “Take him Andy. He really likes you.”

“I’m all wet…” I kept my eyes at Junior. His little self was so captivating. “Its raining… he’ll get wet…”

“Don’t worry… he loves rain.” Paul said, handing Junior to me. He cuddled in my arm and laughed as the rain hit his face. I could see the Paul’s face was glowing to see his baby happy. “There’s someone I want you to meet.” Paul said and walked towards the passenger side, opening the door. He held the umbrella high as a blond haired girl stepped out. She smiled brightly, looking at us. Her soft green eyes beamed as she saw Junior jumping up and down in my arm, totally excited at the sight of his mother.

They walked closer. “This is Karen.” Paul introduced her to me.

I smiled to her as she pulled me to her and hugged me with Junior still in my arms. “Paul told me so much about you, I barely think I don’t know you.” I was totally out of words. She eyed Austin. “Screw this girl again and I’m gonna beat you myself.”

Austin chuckled and hugged her, kissing on her cheek. “And I wondered how all of a sudden Paul became so smart.” She laughed.

“Talk about yourself bro.” Paul chuckled. “Look at what Andy did to you. She finally brought you back to your senses.” Austin poked him in his ribs and Junior laughed with excitement watching them closely.

I felt the tears pouring down my cheek and for the first time I was glad it had rained so they won’t see my tears.

“Let’s go inside.” Austin said, pulling me near him. I wasn’t sure if he knew I was crying but the way he was looking down at me made me think he saw my tears in the rain too.

“I should take him.” Karen moved her hands to take Junior but he clutched on to me. “Rain!” he let out which sounded like ‘Wain’ and buried his face on my shoulder.

“C’mon sweetie. Its getting cold and you’re soaked. Mommy don’t want you to get sick.” He didn’t let me got even when Paul moved umbrella over my head and Karen reached out for him.

“I’ll walk him…” I suggested feeling tender by the way Junior was holding on to me.

“You’ll get tired.” Karen looked at Paul for help.

“Hey, Junior. Daddy’s got a pool in the house, you wanna swim?” His little head popped up and his eyes went wide with excitement and he launched himself in Karen’s arms. They walked to the car settling in.

“Hey Andy,” Paul called out before sitting in. “I’m really sorry about the kiss that night.” His tone was amusing and I knew he was mocking Austin. He flinched and his body stiffened.

I squeezed his hand. “Don’t forget you prompted him to do it…” a pain washed through his face but he recovered soon, mumbling something like, “I regret it and I’m sorry.” I smiled as he turned to my car but I stopped him.

“Let’s walk…”

“What about your car?”

“I won’t need it. You’ll be driving me everywhere like a good husband…” just as I said it I felt my face turning hot despite of the cold. He smiled blushing himself a little too and leaned his face to kiss on my lips. He pulled back, slipping his hand in mine, our fingers intertwined and I rested my head on his arm, walking back to the house letting the rain wash away our crazy past.

*****************

4 MONTHS LATER:

“Aaaarrrrrgggghhh!!” I screamed as I felt my body ripping apart. Everything was spinning and my eyes got teary every time I gave a little push. I was lying on my back on the delivery bed, screaming at the top of my voice. After almost seven hours of labor I was shifted to the delivery room. My heart pounded in my throat and my breathing was uneven, agitated. I was scared. I wasn’t scared because it was hurting extremely bad but I was scared for the time when my baby would finally be out of me and I’d see its face for the first time. I was unsure how will I ever hold up myself because for past months I’d been in love with the baby still inside me. I was scared to hold it in my arms. I was scared to know its gender.

Yeah, we still didn’t know the gender. Austin and I decided we would let it be a surprise. ‘If it’s a girl, we’ll name her Arianna.’ He’d said on night as we lay on the bed, one arm around each other and he trailed his finger on my belly hoping to feel a kick. ‘And if it’s a boy, we’ll name him Aaron…’ I had told him and he smiled, first placing a kiss on the belly and then on my lips.

And we were still not married. Karen insisted to wait till the baby was born. She had professionally talked Austin out of this and told him to have a big wedding later. I didn’t argue because I also didn’t want to walk down the aisle while I was pregnant.

“Does it hurt!?” Startled Austin asked me, patting my hand as he stood beside me. His voice was frantic. I could see perspires on his forehead and I could feel his heart beating unevenly, a little too wildly.

“No it doesn’t you idiot!” I said sarcastically, gritting my teeth.

“Of course it hurt Austin!” Collie fired, patting wet cloth on my forehead. “Relax Andy… it’s going to be over soon…” she consoled me over and over. I clenched my teeth tightly, keeping myself from screaming. Veins popped up my neck and arms and I started feeling hot. I wanted it to be over and hold the little creature in my arms.

“Okay, take a deep breath.” The doctor said lowering himself a little, looking into my hole. I felt uneasy but I couldn’t help it. “Just take deep breaths and push when I say so. Alright?” he eyed me and I nodded. Sweat running down my forehead.

I took a long breath and Collie took hold of my left hand. “Wait!” Austin fired and everyone in the room looked at him nervously. He looked at me, slipping his hand to my cheek and lowering his face close enough that I could feel his agitated breath. He looked deep in my eyes and spoke. “I love you Andy…” his voice quivery from nervousness. With that his mouth was on mine and he kissed me with the passion mixed with a little nervousness.

He pulled back, keeping his eyes on me all the time as I breathed in and out and pushed at the count of three when the doctor told me to push. I pushed three times and sudden wave of relief washed through me as they baby finally came out. Only at that moment, Austin took his eyes off me when a little shrilling cry came echoed around. He cut the cord as the nurse wiped the baby wrapping it in soft blanket, handing it to Austin. I looked at his face waiting for him to say something but it seemed like his breath had sucked out and he wasn’t alive anymore. His eyes stared down at the baby in his arms for a long time.

“Austin?” I called out weakly and he looked up at me, smiling brightly.

“It’s Arianna…” he breathed out, looking back at her and I could see his eyes welling up with tears. “She’s beautiful…” he whispered and I could feel myself on the verge of crying myself as I looked at Austin unable to weight the amount of his happiness. I let him keep her for a long time until he brought her up to me, placing her in my arms.

For a second I forgot to breathe as her little delicate body cuddled in my arms. Light brown hair, just the shade of mine and rosy red full cheeks and cherry red lips, long curling lashes. A tear rolled down my cheek as she opened her hand, curling her tiny fingers around mine as I touched her. I could feel Collie beside me, standing still and stunned but her tears were rolling down.

“She’s got your hair.” Austin said softly, smiling. “And your lips… your cheeks… she’s beautiful.”

She shifted a little and opened her pale eyelids, revealing her gorgeous baby blue eyes. “And she’s got your eyes…” I whispered and smiled as she stared at me. I knew she’ll grow up to have deep ocean blue eyes just like Austin’s. “Yes… She is beautiful.”