《What You're Not》08. Sweaty Palms
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After the talk Mom and I had the other night, I wanted to do something that proved I wasn't anything like my father.
He became angry at the world, pushed everyone away and hid out in dark bars. I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want Mom to have to deal with another person she loved turning into some kind of monster.
I'd been taking baby steps with my plan. Saying yes to small activities, but not fully immersing myself into this new school and my new group of friends.
That day I planned to change that by doing something that terrified me.
"You designed this?" The Twins asked.
"Yeah." I nodded, wiping my clammy hands on my jeans. "When you were talking about needing new uniforms, I felt inspired."
There was silence as they looked over the design. It was nerve racking not being able to tell how they felt about them. Their expressions mirrored extreme focus or maybe extreme dislike. I couldn't tell.
"You mind if we show these to the other girls?" Kimber questioned, looking up at me.
"And Coach Sanders. We'll need her approval," Jem added.
"Wait, so, you like them?" They hadn't given me their opinions on the sketches yet and it was making me anxious.
"Duh!" they said, both of them giggling.
"They're really good, Loren," Kimber assured me.
"Thanks," I smiled, finally allowing myself to breathe.
"And we might actually get some attention in these. So, that's a plus," Jem chimed in.
It went a lot better than I had expected. I was feeling less tense about the whole thing now that the worst part was out of the way.
We went to the cafeteria, finding Chelsea and Riley at the usual table. They were discussing Halloween costumes when we sat down. Apparently, they both wanted to dress up as Wonder Woman, but didn't want to twin.
"Can we pause the costume dilemma for a minute? We have something more important to talk about," Jem said, grabbing their attention.
"What's more important than finding a costume when Halloween is, like, two weeks away?" Chelsea questioned.
"This." Kimber placed my design in front of them.
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"What is this?" Riley asked, picking up the sketch before Chelsea could get her hands on it.
"Designs for new cheer uniforms," Jem informed them.
"These are actually really good," Riley approved. "Who made them?"
"Loren," The Twins replied.
"Well, we appreciate your efforts, but Coach Sanders is not going to approve these," Chelsea stated as if it were a fact.
Riley handed the sketch to me. "She's right. Coach is a prude and skirts that show our knees are too risqué."
"Sanders is just mad because her knees look like Shrek's face," Chelsea laughed.
"Hey, no girl-on-girl violence, OK?" Kimber warned. To me she said, "Our current uniforms aren't that bad. They're just..."
"Boring," Jem finished. "Let's show these to coach. Maybe she'll actually like them."
"I have a better idea." The four of them turned to me, wait for me to voice my idea. "What if we made a sample of the uniform first and then revealed it to Coach Sanders. Seeing it in 3-D might sway her to say yes."
It was silent as they thought about this.
"That could work," Riley said.
"Or we could be wasting our time," Chelsea retorted. "Actually, I'm positive that's what we'll be doing."
"You're doing it again," Kimber told her.
"Doing what?"
"Being a Negative Nancy," she replied. "Do you still have that crystal I gave you?"
Chelsea pondered this for a minute. "You know what? I think that's what Hercules buried in the back yard the other day."
"We'll, discuss that later," Kimber said, her teeth gritted as her small, brown eyes narrowed at Chelsea.
"I like the idea of making the outfit, but how are we going to do that?" Riley questioned.
"We could use Mrs. Hawk's Fashion Club," I suggested.
Kimber gasped. "This school has a fashion club?"
"And it's run by Mrs. Hawk? She always has the cutest earrings." Jem coos.
"She actually makes most of them herself," I pointed out.
"Okay, I am loving this idea so much," Kimber squealed, just as the bell for first period rang.
"We'll talk more about this at lunch," Jem said.
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After school I found myself at June's once again. That time it was packed with people I recognized from school.
The Twins filled in the rest of the cheer squad on the idea for the new uniform. They all loved the design and agreed to help make it. Well, almost all of them. Vivian didn't seem interested in the idea. I was starting to think that was her default reaction to everything.
"Didn't think I'd see you here."
I turned around to find Miles sitting in the booth behind me, a crooked grin on his face.
"Wow, no Mermaid today?"
"I'm just testing the waters," he explained. "The last time we spoke you yelled at me."
I had forgotten about that.
"Right, sorry," I said, sheepishly. "I was having a bad day."
"Yeah, no kidding," he laughed. "Well, Mermaid, now that you're in a better mood we can talk about you paying me back for my phone."
I rolled my eyes, turning away from him. "You messed up your own phone."
He leaned over the seat, his face entirely too close to mine. "It was a joke," he said. "All joking aside, you should really learn to swim. I can teach you."
"I'll pass," I said. "Your teaching method is probably just throwing people into pools and walking away."
"Hey, that method works," he argued. "Haven't you seen the video of that baby?"
"The answer is still no."
"You'll be missing an opportunity to see me shirtless."
I snorted. " I think I'll live."
Somehow, he took this as an invitation to climb into my booth and sit next to me. "We're friends, right?"
"No, not really."
"Great, so, as my friend I need a huge favor from you," he said, sounding serious. "I need you to be the jelly to my peanut butter."
"What?" The randomness of his proposal made me laugh.
"I have a bet going with the guys on the football team and—"
"Miles," Vivian appeared at our table, looking annoyed, as usual. "Can we talk outside for a second?"
Miles glanced over at me and then back to Vivian. "Okay," he told her. To me he said, "I'll be right back."
Miles slid out of the booth and followed Vivian outside. Jem joined me at the booth with a plate full of waffle fries.
"Looks like you got Miles in trouble," she said, nodding towards the window.
Gazing over my shoulder I see Miles leaning against his car, looking miserable. Vivian's back was facing me, but from the looks of her wild hand movements she was yelling at him.
"Are they together?" I asked, turning back to Jem.
"I honestly have no idea," she shrugged, munching on a fry. "Their entire relationship is the very definition of complicated."
When I glanced back at them again Miles was holding Vivian in his arms. Whatever's going on between was definitely dysfunctional. Vivian then got into her car and drove off. Miles still stood out there, watching her tail lights.
My attention was pulled away from him when my phone began to ring. I fished it from my pocket, answering it.
"Hello?"
The person on the other end said something, but I couldn't make it out over the noise of the diner. I got up, going outside.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"Are you Loren Reed?"
The male voice didn't sound familiar. He sounded stiff and all business. "Yeah..."
"I'm calling from the Westbrooke hospital." My heart felt like it stopped beating, waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Your mother has been in an accident."
He said something after that. I didn't know what, though. My phone was no longer pressed to my ear, but on the concrete by my feet. Everything seemed to slow down. The man's words replayed in my head over and over again. A wave of nausea hit me hard and my legs felt weak.
Two hands clamped down on my shoulders, keeping me from falling over. I looked up, meeting a concerned looking pair of green eyes. My blurry gaze flickered over to his car.
"Can you give me a ride to the hospital?" I didn't wait for an answer as I walked to his car.
He didn't object, unlocking his car so I could slide into the passenger seat. He got in on the driver's side, not saying a word as he pulled out of the lot.
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