I have slept in Alicia's room ever since I got back. The smell of her still lingers in the pillows and blankets.

I left her room the way it was left when we left to Vegas.

I miss her so much.

"I am changing for you Alicia." I am going to be a different man when she sees me again. I am going to be a man that her father would only dream her daughter would end up with.

I am going to become him.

But I am still becoming.

The day I came back had to be one of the worst days of my life.

I parked in the garage still livid of what happened in Vegas. When I walked into the house I immediately went to go look for my grandmother.

"Grandmother!" I called.

"Abraham. You're back." I went towards her voice and what I seen when I finally approached her made me lose my balance a little.

In front of me was my Grandmother, my Aunt Rosemary, and my Mom.

I looked at me mom standing there with a slight smile and tears in her eyes.

She was actually in front of me. I've seen pictures of her so that was the only way I recognized her and from my slight memory of her too.

"Hi Abraham." She said with a sweet everything is okay voice.

I didn't reply back.

She looked disheveled and very pale. I know she had just come out of prison but from the pictures she looked put together and now she looked so tired and older for her age.

"Um. Jessica, Abraham isn't quite ready for this meeting. I didn't think you'd be here when when he came home." My grandmother said.

"I understand." Was all she said. "I'm just so happy what a handsome young boy you have grown up to be."

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Look I was not expecting you and I'm not sure I am ready to have a one on one with you so please be understanding that I will talk to you when I am ready." I turned around and quickly went upstairs to Alicia's room.

My phone began to ring and I noticed it was Alicia.

Ever since the phone call I have been in a funk. She wants me to change but all I want is for my life to be like it was. For her to be here with me, for me to love her and she to love me.

The rest of the day I stayed in her room without coming out. I didn't want to.

She wanted me to change but at that moment I didn't know if I could.

**********

I was still in her bed missing her scent.

I told Ann what happened and she told me what happened.

Ann misses Alicia too.

After that phone call when she told me to come to her when I was a changed man and that she would wait put everything in perspective for me.

She loves me and if she will wait that means she knows I can change.

I love how she believes in me.

God I just love her.

I want to call her everyday just to see what she is doing and what she's thinking about.

But I know she doesn't want to talk unless I am good and ready for her.

I need to change so we can be together again and hopefully her father will let her move back.

I sat up and decided that the first thing I should do if I am going to change is talk to my mother. Clear the air.

Second I should apologize to Ann for all the bullshit I put her through in the past years.

And third I need to get back on my feet and get my life together. That means I need to go back to school and get a job.

When I know I am ready I am going for the girl I love.

**********

I called my Aunt Rosemary and told her if she could take my Mom to a cafe because I would like to talk to her.

My Aunt Rosemary was quite surprised but willing.

At the moment I was on my way to the cafe where we are to meet.

I parked my car and made my way to a table outside the cafe.

I checked my phone to see the time but I noticed my screensaver picture. It was Alicia and I on that photography adventure. The day I told her how I felt about her.

I smiled and put my phone in my pocket.

I looked up and seen my Mom coming my way. She was smiling.

She didn't look as awful as she did the last time I seen her. I could tell as she got closer that she did her hair and makeup.

She was trying to make an impression and she did in a way. I could even say she looked beautiful.

"Hi Abraham." She said.

"Hi. Please sit." She sat down still smiling. She must be really happy that she finally got to have this one on one.

"You look better than you did the other day." I said.

"I wanted to show you that I am not all gross and disheveled."

"I can see that." I said. "Look I just want to get to the point. I don't want our relationship to be awkward and not wanted every time we see one another. I actually want to have a relationship between us in the near future."

She started to cry again.

"I don't know you and you don't know me but I think we can work something out. Don't you think?"

"I would love that." She replied. "I need to apologize greatly for not being there your entire life. I didn't mean for things to go the way they went. I will never forgive myself for not being there as a mother for my son. I'm so sorry." She was in full blown tears.

I could tell this really meant something to her and she was truly sorry.

I grabbed her hands across the table and held them. She needed to know I am going to be there for her.

She smiled. She started to rub her thumbs across my hands.

I have to admit it felt good when she did that.

"Abraham I've always loved you. When I was away I thought about you everyday and missed you everyday. I love you so much."

I didn't know what to say. But then when I thought about it really hard, I realized the reason I got so mad about her coming out was because I loved her and I felt as though she didn't love me as much as I loved her. But now as she just confessed her feelings I know that it was a good idea to do this.

I stood up and she looked at me in surprise. She stood up and we gave one another a hug.

"I love you too...Mom." When she heard those words she sobbed in my shirt.

"You have no idea how much that meant. I thought I'd never hear those words. Only in my dreams."

A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and heart. Thank you Alicia.