I hadn't even realized when my consciousness slipped away. I had spent a majority of the time picking up little details of the instrumentals upon first hearing the song, and then humming along to the melody which struck like a breath of fresh air.

My fingers had ached to figure out the chords on a guitar. Evan had done a wonderful job, but there was one issue. The snippet he had graciously sent was way too short, and I fell asleep wanting more.

Then the next morning rolled on, and I realized that I couldn't really escape school, even if my head was in the clouds. We had a practical in Chemistry. And it could've been a decent way of getting started with the day, but Stella Reyes was upset—and that was posing to be a bigger hazard than we let on.

She knocked a whole beaker while adding acid to her solution. Xavier had reflexes one could doubt would only parallel any God's, because the way he managed to grab the falling instrument mid-air was not a feat of mere mortals.

"Jesus, Stella," he sighed. "You're dealing with corrosive shit. Stop being chaotic."

"I still can't believe it," she grumbled under her breath. "He left me out of everything. That complacent little piece of—"

Xavier bobbed his head to our direction. "Evan?"

She stared. "Tell your friend he can choke."

Partnering us up together was convenient for the teacher, because Stella was clueless and Xavier was perfect to teach. I had just tagged along, self-aware that I was potentially third-wheeling. But I had no other friends—so I made a note to apologize to Stella later.

"I'm sure he got busy," I tried to reason, because I could only wonder how much work he had on his plate. "He did message on our group chat. . ."

Xavier grinned. "I also find the need to remind you that you both hate each other."

"That's no excuse," she said, but it was. Stella and Evan were at war. Whether it was snarky replies or besting each other, none of us could catch a break from them. "And you don't say," she gave me a side-eye. "He tells you everything first."

I shook my head, but Xavier beat me to replying, "That's true. Hasn't he been messaging you every day?"

He had. He had a way of making time even when things kept him preoccupied. It could've been a superpower, or perhaps a magician's trick.

Evan Parker had seemed like magic to me since day one.

I didn't necessarily want them to know, but it seemed like Xavier already knew much more than I liked. Stella chirped in, eyes subtle. "He also only told you the reason for his absence this whole week. . ."

That was the truth, yes. It settled thickly against my ribcage, suffocating. The only explanation I formed was: he was busy. He felt obliged after keeping me completely in the dark once. He knew I would make a big deal out of it—much like I always had. Was I an annoyance to him?

Slight panic captured my heart, so out-of-the-blue, because—oh, God, what if I had been an additional means of stress to him?

Stella pretended to nudge my elbow accidentally, and then glared.

I reminded myself to breathe.

"He must find it convenient to only tell one person," I glanced back at them. "Plus, I pass on the information to you guys anyway."

"Mhm-hm," she approved. It was the most sarcastic sound of approval I had ever heard, and I had to press my lips in a straight line to hold back something mean.

Xavier was staring. Not at me, not at the instruments laid out in front of him, but at Stella Reyes. It was a look to behold, because she was busy mixing up her mixture, jaw tense and eyes fixated, bangs slightly in her eyes.

It was like an artist watching over his muse.

He caught me staring at him staring at her. A moment passed, a fleeting beat of what I anticipated would be a haste of a reply, but Xavier Henderson smiled, jewels in his eyes. He was immune to the very same feeling that had rooted itself into my stomach, and I was envious.

"I think," he began, bringing the conversation back to me. I wished I had said something about what I just witnessed, but it was too late. "He prioritizes you."

Stella's attention drew back to us. "He's right. I've not known him for too long, but I cannot picture him doing this for just anyone."

You need to acknowledge that you mean more to him than you realize. I knew Stella enough to know what her eyes read. She would've said it outright, but perhaps Xavier being present was holding her back. Heat rose to my cheeks, and I had to pretend I was busy with my experiment—as if I wasn't already done mixing up all the chemicals I could possibly find.

The chemical reaction in my heart, however, was nowhere near it's end.

Xavier noticed my unease. He smiled at me warmly, and then held a palm to his heart, and I knew what was coming.

"I feel like you're taking him away from me, though," he sighed. "And it hurts right here. So much."

I laughed, but deep inside, gratefulness filled my chest. "Right, my bad—I forgot you two had a thing going on."

"Thing?" He feigned offense. "He's my soulmate."

Stella and I proceeded to ignore him.

▂

I WAS ALMOST SURE THAT COFFEE WAS MAKING ME DELIRIOUS. Or maybe the reason for lost sanity were the stupid modules kept on my table, inadvertently mocking all that I was. Hunger and academic frustration were a terrible mix—scorching and red-hot, with enough passion to incinerate a whole continent.

Before I could walk downstairs and grab a snack, my phone's screen glowed, an all-too familiar name showing. I grabbed it in haste, the static noises filling my ear, heartbeats insoluble in my mouth.

"Laura?"

Evan. It had been a while since I had spoken to him or heard from him. His voice was like sirens and sickly-sweet sin, and I pretended to calm my erratic heart, but couldn't.

"Hello, celebrity."

There was a soft laugh. I had missed his laugh. I missed him how the shore missed the waves, and how the ships missed the harbour. It hadn't even been that long, but everything about him felt ancient—like it was a fond memory and nothing more. And I was terrified to ever truly experience that, which was a funny, funny thing, since the feeling couldn't truly be mine, too.

The line I was tethering really close to was a second away from going all up in flames.

"Are you free right now?"

"Yes," yes, yes. "What is it?"

He paused. "Before that. How was your day?"

He always asked me that.

Mostly, I had nothing substantial to offer, because all the days felt the same. Compared to all that he managed to do, everything I did in a day (which was just bury my head in textbooks and cry) seemed like watching paint dry.

"Forget that," I muttered in a rush. "I don't want to bore you. What is up with you? Why did you call?"

"I called to tell you something," he debated on his words. "You cannot bore me, Edwards. You could read me your Chemistry notes and I'd be entertained."

I started walking in circles around my bed, wondering if external motion would balance out and nullify the ruckus inside of my ribcage and my heart. "All lies. Now get to the point, Evan."

"Are you busy?"

Oh, God. There he was again. I groaned. "Will you get to the point? My physics chapter is awaiting my return."

Of course, he took that literally. Nobody else would've. "You should've said that then. I would've hung up."

"Evan Parker," I punctuated his name, steps becoming faster. "If you don't get to the point right this—"

"Okay, okay, well...I got signed," he spoke, words hurried, jumbled, chaotic. "To a record label."

I stopped pacing around my room. Almost, almost, squealed.

"And I'm performing. Next week. That's what I had to tell you."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. No words, no sound. Everything rushed to my head, as if I was being awarded a Grammy.

He continued: "And I have performed before, yes, but those have been smaller gigs and I've sung songs that aren't mine, and basically what I'm getting at is that this is not that. This is—"

"Fucking incredible," I uttered before he could. "Evan—oh my God."

I had to sit down. Kept the phone to the side, but I could still hear his laughter. My chest was inflating with the strangest excitement. It was so foreign, my mind spun. "Evan," I picked back my phone. "I'm speechless."

"Yeah?" I could picture his grin.

"You're sick for doing this over a phone call. It feels fake congratulating you like this."

He chuckled. "Well, I'm not going to disappear. You'll see me sooner than you'd like."

That's not possible, I wanted to reply. I want to see you right now. "You cannot keep important details to yourself. When and where?"

"Well, that's the issue," he dragged his words. "It's a six-hour drive from our city—and I hope you remember you've got exams next week."

Oh. Right. Why did that feel like such a punch to the gut, especially with the way he said it?

"We've got exams next week," I reminded him with a cold bite to my words. "What are you hinting at?"

He hummed. "Actually, I took my mid-terms two weeks ago."

What? My cheeks deflated. "That doesn't mean we can't go," I argued. "Exams come and go. I don't care."

"I am not having seven people fail on my watch. It's a sin too heavy to bear."

"Oh, shut up," I groaned, but my heart now sat uneasy. Why did school always go out of the way to ruin our lives?

"It's fine. I'm just glad to have you," he cleared his throat. "All of you guys."

My heart stuttered, but it wasn't fine in the grand scheme of things. In the grand scheme of things, we were all supposed to be cheering him on and watching him on the stage. In the grand scheme of things, school was insignificant. In the grand scheme of things, I wanted to hug him and tell him how proud I was of everything he'd done, not try to congratulate him over phone while words didn't even come out of my mouth.

He spoke softly, "Thank you, Laura. I mean it."

My pulse quickened. "But—"

"No buts. I'll see you soon, okay?"

He hung up before I could reason.

▂

"SO," XAVIER'S HAND RUFFLED my hair before he dropped down on the newly emptied seat in front of me. "What did he say?"

People stared at us, wondering why we were staying back after the class was over. I wondered just the same, but knew that the guy in front of me wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't address all of his queries right this second. So I shot him a pointed look, and then sighed. "Whatever he told you. Says we can't accompany him—midterms and all that bullshit."

"Bullshit?" he arched backwards on his chair, a disingenuous smile spreading all across. "Did I hear that correctly from you? Miss I-consume-Chemistry-for-entertainment?"

I resisted all urge to ram both my fists into his smug-little face. "Is this why you're here, Henderson? To remind me that I do, indeed, wish to do well in my fucking exams?"

"Chill, darling," he raised a hand in defence, eyes widening. "I'm just asking, what's your plan?"

The room was devoid of anyone, now, and Xavier Henderson showed no plans of leaving. "He shut me down when I suggested all of us could come," I shrugged. "I. . .don't know."

"What is it that you want to do?"

It was obvious—perhaps inked in black and running in all-capitals on my forehead. He didn't ask for the sake of hearing my opinion, because from what I knew of Xavier, his grins were more thoughtful than that. And he only managed to pass them when he had something in his mind.

"What is it that I want to do?" I scoffed. "Of course I'd want to go see him perform. What is it that you want to do?"

It could be the worst thing, but I braced myself just the same. He tilted his head, deep in thought, and then dropped his face onto his palms. "When everyone except him is on board, Laura," he laughed. "Of course we go against him."

▂

THE WEEK BLURRED. Days flew by whilst I managed to douse myself in caffeine and the energy it induced. The exams were right on our heads, and the night before we drove six hours to see Evan perform, my phone buzzed for two minutes straight.

Stella: sat in this cafe for two hrs looking hot and mysterious sipping on my coffee and working on my assignments. i expect at least five people to be in love with me right now

Raymond: not me, y'all stay safe tho

Stella: fuck off???

Xavier: What assignments?

Chloe: stella babe I love you but you cannot just say that and dip

Leo: YO WTF we had assignments??????

Me: ...Leo, we're not even in the same class

Stella: guys it was due like last month...you've done it...

Xavier: A whole month? That's embarrassing, love

Stella: you're supposed to make me feel better

Leo: I forget that I only share classes with Evan and he's too busy doing celebrity things

Sean: i'm assuming everyone's ready for tomorrow? No last-minute plans guys

Raymond: yes, captain

Me: i'm guessing no one told Evan?

Xavier: It's a surprise.

Raymond: one that might give him a heart attack.

Stella: and in that case, good riddance.

don't even know if this chapter makes sense. if i proofread it once more i am destined to cry

the next couple chapters are really fun so i hope you guys are excited! it's going to get real hectic for me (already is) so i hope you can bear with the slow updates :// ily

also if you had read the first draft of this book last year (which i now refer to as the zero draft) a little heads up: in this draft, the second half of the book is majorly changed. do with that what you will. to all my brand new readers, i hope you enjoy what all is in store!

thank you for reading! you're golden.

abrial