uneventful and painful spasm of damage rooting itself in the depth of bones, and the sweet remnant-which had also turned bitter-stung at my tongue. Happy times consisted of beautiful laughs and grinning faces, and I found myself being stuck in a trance with no way out. The misery still spoke the loudest; clenched hands, acid tears and derailed thoughts-and I was slowly starting to come to terms with how this longingness for something I couldn't ever have was to never be gone.

Recollections forever remained a paradox. Bitter and sweet, fire and ice, all things opposite and potent.

It had been mere days, and I was happier, content, and smiling, like the perfect visages found on televisions and advertisements. I knew I didn't deserve it. Not after what I had done. Stella introduced me to Chloe-blonde sweetheart with the passion of a whole country combined-and it felt weird accepting the fact that memories were made even when I wanted anything but.

I thought about it once, twice, even thrice. I wasn't supposed to go spiraling down these thoughts in the middle of the cobblestone-paved road which led its way to the new hellhole I had found, but I couldn't help the surge of thoughts. I was lost, deterred and noncommittal-the worst kind of mix on a busy and bustling road-but hey, at least I was self-aware.

So, when the loud honk blared from a side, I almost jumped.

Jesus Christ.

Holding onto a meek breath, I turned around. Two windows rolled down simultaneously, and Leo's head bopped outwards like I was a long-lost friend of his. Soon it was Xavier's turn, black twisted curls hanging from the window before his classic grin reached me, and I blew another breath. Lord.

I averted my gaze from the two over-enthusiasts with a polite wave to a laid back-almost dead-person sitting beside Xavier, and immediately wanted to roll my eyes. I had almost forgotten how Xavier and Leo were his friends, too; and hanging out with them meant hanging out with him.

"Hey Laura! Come on. We can give you a ride."

I saw that coming.

"No, it's alright!"

"We're going there, too. Energy saved is energy conserved, right?"

I chuckled. Did he just quote our physics book? "It's fi-"

Another honk. I had forgotten about him-again-and it wasn't helping how he was driving. His head was titled onto the windowpane, eyes propelled to the other side. A hand cupped his jaw when he turned to my direction, and I could see his mouth twitch upwards in a grin.

My eyes seemed stuck.

He didn't grin. Instead, he seemed to roll his eyes before honking again. An impulse wanted me to punch the sucker in the face, but I ended up walking to Leo's side. I needed that energy throughout classes more than putting him in place.

"Nice to see you, Laura."

"You too," I smiled. I could feel Evan's eyes on me through the rearview, but the gaze didn't last. Xavier started to small talk, whilst Leo tried to involve me as much as he could. Evan didn't speak much, and neither did I. It didn't feel right, intruding their private space-so with a numb mind, I continued looking out of the window.

▂

After two never ending classes, AP Calculus and Chemistry-I was shocked my brain hadn't imploded. Yes, STEM was fun, but nothing could beat the nonsensical biology and chemistry jokes we could get out of our very own periodic table or the anatomy of humans. Today, however, was a day of slumping shoulders and scowl-laden lips-and with the throbbing headache I always managed to get half-way throughout the day, I tried to find Stella and Chloe.

I found Stella, all in her glory of chaotic hair and erratic breathing, only to find out she had her dance rehearsals. If I knew someone who was ready to sell their kidney if it meant more dance, she was the one. Whilst she pushed her bangs out of her eyes she motioned at a table, and before I could take a step further, someone had grabbed my hand.

Leo.

A dark pink shone on his cheeks, eyes falling to the floor as he left my wrist. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab you like that," a pause ensued.

"But. . .would you mind sitting with us?"

Yes.

I sighed, and then did weird hand-signs. He didn't understand a thing. Finally, I spoke with as much persuasion in my voice as possible. "It's alright! I'll meet you in English?"

I didn't want things to be more awkward. I signaled at my friends, as if telling him: please let me be.

He grinned. Oh, no.

"Your friends can join too."

He had the audacity to wink at Chloe, who sauntered right across us with a food tray in her hands. I passed him a glare, but Chloe was shaken to the core-pale skin and gaping mouth. And nobody seemed to ask me when they all swiftly moved to the said table which was most certainly not ours.

Great.

Introductions graced the surface, and I knew my cheeks were going to hurt at the end of the day due to forceful smiling. Xavier was the politest, and there wasn't a reason for him not to be. Stella liked to call him her favorite distraction-and could be seen openly gawking at him. Then, she winked at me (as if saying she had hit the jackpot) and I slumped farther into my seat. Two more guys joined, and the anxiety of meeting new people started floating in my gut.

"Dude, you left us!"

"I wasn't even driving," Leo added, an eye roll coming in complementary. The shy one between the two newcomers looked my way and scratched his neck. There was a scar running right across his cheek, and his eyes were crinkled at the sides. He seemed twice as uncomfortable as me, and I was already off the charts.

"Hey, uh, I'm Sean," he said, before ducking his head to the guy who stuffed food into his mouth. "And this-" he slapped his head, "-is Raymond."

The latter grinned, all in his mouth-full glory. "Hey."

Raymond had that sort of warmth in his smile which strangers at random roads provided-and when I was meant to reciprocate with a grin, it came effortlessly. Over-friendly people always made it easy.

"Hello, I'm Laura."

"Yeah, we heard," he tossed open a can of coke. And then: "Oh, man-was that rude? I'm sorry, y'know, didn't mean that at all. A bit too hungry to think things through."

I wondered if we could skip the pleasantries and jump onto important topics-such a food-but luck had suddenly turned into a back-stabbing friend. Both the guys sat down with amused glances when none of us showed any signs of moving, and I passed Leo another glare for the beautiful treatment we were getting in his name.

I glanced at Xavier again, because he seemed just as involved in this as Leo did. He didn't do much besides pass me a smile and steal some fries off Stella's plate. I sighed before playing with the food in front of me-mashed beans and a cookie feeling as out of place as me-and a terrible knot formed in my stomach. If there was an end to this misery, I needed to know when.

"What is she doing here?"

Shit.

My eyes rooted themselves on the fabric of my jeans. How did I keep forgetting that he would be here as long as I would be here? After four seconds, I pushed my head upwards. No matter how much of an arch-nemesis he was trying to be-even for no apparent cause or reason-I wasn't going to let him prove me wrong.

Right?

I wished the earth to open up and swallow me whole.

"Chill, would you? She's our friend," Xavier finally muttered, and I didn't even have to look at him to know he was smiling. It wasn't genuine-just sinful, with the shrewdness combined. Evan scoffed, and it twanged in my chest.

"Sure."

I rolled my eyes, now. There was a limit to the childishness-and I was sure to end it before it escalated even more. There wasn't a speck of humor or comfort I found in this-nada-and sitting on the same table as he made my body do all kinds of weird things.

Like having the thought of sucker-punching him in the face.

But I found myself staring at him instead. He typed away on his phone, elbows resting on the wood and face high. There wasn't a term I could find to define the pleasantness of the mere sight upon him-arched eyebrows, glossy dark brown curls, and devilish cheekbones. Look away, my rationales said.

I got caught before I could even prepare an excuse. "Quit doing that."

So, I played dumb.

"Quit doing what?"

I was ignored, just as expected. A few girls came up to him, all giddy and excited and laughy. The reason was unknown, and I couldn't find myself to care-but as the day rolled on, a thought stayed on my lips: fresh, sour, and entirely indigestible.

He was taking a lot more headspace than I gave him credit for.

▂

The next day unraveled in the same fashion-but this time I came to school on my own. Classes were the same, acting as my usual dose Tryptophan when I couldn't use the beauty sleep I needed. By the end of the day, the weight which pulled me down in the morning seemed to find its way back, and the only method to eliminate it was to revisit the good parts the past held.

Basketball was a personal drug: the feeling of getting high on the adrenaline, my favorite feeling. He had enrolled me, after months and months of whining from my side. Yes, it was the remedy I could use but wasn't sure how to, especially when the person was glued in memory like a keepsake. I wasn't sure if I could play again-but if it meant the normalcy I knew I needed, I was going to heights for it.

I saw the court, but I was slow on my feet and there were two reasons for it. One aforementioned, there was someone already playing in the court. The multiplying heartbeat now sat in my ears, mouth dry and feet staggering back. My eyes were glued to the person's movement-swift and steady, perfect aim, perfect poise. I wanted to leave by the sheer brilliance.

I went inside anyway.

With tip-toed moves, I would've been invisible-only if I didn't drop my duffle.

A swift turn later, he was all I could see.

. . .how in the world?

I was waiting for a scowl, bitter remark or a chuckle in all his craziness-but Evan Parker was meant to shock me every instance he got. He sighed, and I saw him drop the ball on the floor and mess his hair all over. With a many-feet distance, it was unfair how out of a model magazine it looked like. Unfair, but understandable. He seemed to carry with himself this particular aura, and despite not wanting to stare at him any longer, my eyes were always held captive by his.

"You can play, I'm going. Won't bother you."

Surprised would've been an understatement. Uncanny politeness and Evan Parker didn't go together. With saucer-like eyes I neared him, before realizing he had no motive of saying something else until I did.

"I'm not really playing."

It was his turn to look confused. His nose scrunched-cute-and then he doubled over his eyes at me as if I was the biggest joke of the century. I would've been offended if it had been a lie. Picking up his bag, he stood still for a while before taking a step in my direction.

"Then why are you here?"

I stood my ground. Somehow, being with him was exhilarating and all-consuming, and I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to handle it. But with pursed lips I shot back, "I wanted to see the basketball court. Is that so wrong?"

He found humor in that. I was starting to believe that he was actually insane-his actions did nothing but justify him. "That's fine," he dropped his bag once again, thought some more, and rushed towards the court. His eyes didn't leave mine until I had understood he wanted me to leave, since I was standing in the center of the court with no will to walk away.

I blushed a deep crimson.

Get your shit together, I thought before trailing out of the court with fumbling steps. My shoes creaked on the rubber padding of the ground, making my eyes revolve around the sapphire painted court in totality. The shade was too similar to the one I had smeared all over my new room in the name of change when I left Tennessee-but deep down I knew it wasn't a scenery change, and most certainly not because the color made the storm in my head quiet. It had happened because the ashen-looking walls had also started coming too close to the reality of the past, and when I had woken up at nights with venom choking my lungs, I simply couldn't breathe.

"Are you just going to sit there?"

My head snapped. I really, positively needed to get my shit together. Before I could reply, he cleared his throat. I looked at him again, unsurely shrugging my shoulders. "I... I'm just not in the mood to play today."

His eyes twinkled. Were they always this bright?

In reality, I was afraid I couldn't. And because I hadn't practiced in forever, I didn't feel like embarrassing myself in front of a stranger. He gave me a small smile, but I was left contemplating if anything of that was legit. There was another thing I noticed about him: there were layers to unravel, like levels to unlock. I was merely on the first level, however-and even if I said I wanted nothing to do with him, a part of me wondered what he was like with the guard down.

He threw the ball at my face. I was glad beyond words that my reflexes acted soon enough and didn't let me jam my face right into it.

"Hey, Laura," he began, eyes failing to keep contact. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

Where is this going?

He scratched the back of his neck. I had already let go of the ball in my hands and watched it tumble away from the court-neither of us sparing it a glance. While my eyes succeeded in dropping to the ground once in a while, he didn't drop the gaze.

I was uncomfortable-

"I'm sorry for the other day."

There were a lot of things I considered unheard of. My mom couldn't cook-maybe not being able to cook was in my genes-and so, if both of their progenies could cook, that would've been unheard of. My brother liking the flavor of fruit loops I preferred in the morning-unreal, dreamlike, unheeded. Or my dad not wanting to cook on a certain day. Or-my mom not completely slaughtering me with her high levels of satire.

All of those things were unheard of.

But Evan. . .apologizing? Super unheard of. Unreal. Square root of a negative digit.

"I didn't mean it, I promise. I wasn't in a good mood. And... fuck, I just think we got off on the wrong foot, if you know what I mean?"

Holy shit.

"Oh," I genuinely didn't know what to say. Out of all the things I had planned for the day, this didn't even appear in my dreams. "Okay."

"Okay? No, it's not just about okay," he sighed. "I didn't mean it, I swear."

I grinned. It was hard not to-not everybody was living their fantasy of seeing their so-called arch-nemesis apologize. "Yeah, I get you. It's okay-I forgive you."

His visible tense shoulders slumped back down. I grinned harder. I hadn't thought I would be grinning with him, but life remained the back-stabbing friend I had awarded it for. "So, we're good, right?"

"We're good, yeah," but for how long-was what I didn't add.

There was something new I noticed at that moment. His smile seemed genuine, breathtaking, and overwhelming. A little out of place, probably because I had never seen him smile. Like those flowers which bloomed in the middle of blocks of concrete-but lovely, regardless. I had known enough to know that things which seemed a little out of place were to be treasured.

So, I did.

He walked away, briskly and with his regular command-dripping strides right out of the court. "I'll see you around, then," he waved at me, and it was so hard to comprehend everything that I waved back seconds late. But whilst he exited the court, all my mind was left to wonder about was how our let's stay away had changed to see you around in a couple days.

▂

Xavier Henderson was a questionable friend. He stuck to Evan like a comrade, said things only a true ally would, and spoke about him like a Facebook fan-page personified. The appreciation lined up on his lips when he talked about his achievements-the gigs he had performed and the modeling he partook in sometimes. He truly was a friend everybody wanted, but his actions at the moment were going to put the worst of enemies to shame.

Right outside the court, he had been grinning ear-to-ear, all while flipping his phone to my hands.

"I hope you liked that apology, it lasted forty-eight seconds."

Shock had seized my features, making me yell. "What are you doing here, and what kind of a friend are you?"

"The best kind," he had winked, a nudge coming complementary. "We had to knock some sense into his brain, but it's all good now. It was also the reason why you were at our table today-and I am genuinely sorry for what you had to go through. But hey-you saw how nicely he apologized. Plus, I might've even seen some sort of chemistry between you two."

I had rolled my eyes at the last sentence, though smilingly. How nice of a person he was yet to be determined-but I had to agree to the fact that his smile was something out of the universe.

hey hello, and a very happy new year!! i wish you the best for this one. if you liked this chapter please vote and let me know what you thought in the comments! i love you all so much, you taking out the time to read this means the world to me. you're golden.