I'm not gonna lie.

Yesterday was such a good feeling. Even though Jaehyun and I only had one conversation, at least we talked a bit (even though we also talked because of Nox) but it was just us two.

Bora suddenly nudged me. "You were actually enjoying it, didn't you?" She asked. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Fine, you got me."

She pouted. "Sadly, he'll graduate this school year. Cry a river." I just laughed at what she said. I looked at my wrist watch and it was five o'clock. I stood up and wore my bag. "I should get going. See you tomorrow." I waved goodbye to Bora and left the school.

When I got to the store, Changkyun was already there, helping my Mom out. He saw me walk in and gave me a smirk. "Auntie-" I rushed towards him and immediately covered his mouth.

"Shh!"

"What is it, Changkyun?" Mom turned to us and was shocked to see me covering Changkyun's mouth. I removed my hand and walked towards her. "Hi, Mom." I hugged her.

"What do you want to tell me again, Changkyun?" She asked. I whipped my head towards him and put a finger on my mouth. Changkyun grinned and shook his head at Mom. "Nothing, Auntie."

I sighed in relief and went inside Mom's office. I dropped my bag on the couch and sat beside it, totally tired about what happened today. I barely moved in the love knot earlier but my heart was the one tired.

Earlier, it was beating so fast and I feel like I just want to disappear. My heart literally felt like a bomb that was ready to blow. I inhaled and exhaled, calming myself down.

Jaehyun suddenly crossed my mind.

I smiled.

•••

As usual, I went to school too early in the morning and I was the only one in the room. After a few minutes, Yejin walked, her phone in her hands. "Hello, Jaeshin." She greeted and sat beside me.

"Hello." I replied awkwardly then she nudged me. "Don't be so awkward." She simply said and did her business on her phone.

When Maeyoung and her friends came in, they started teasing me about what happened yesterday. Did me and my kidney malfunction, can I still think, can I still breathe normally and et cetera.

"Jaeshin, how about you confess to Jaehyun oppa?" My face went red and hot when I heard what Maeyoung suggested. "No way! Are you kidding me?" Yan-ne nodded with Maeyoung. "She's right. What if he likes you? He smiles at you every now and then."

"Maybe he does that to all students." Yejin shrugged. "He doesn't smile at us." The five of them nodded. Bora was using the restroom at the moment. "M-Maybe.."

"Wouldn't he smile at you for no reason? I mean, that would be some bullshit." I widened my eyes at Yejin. "Language!" She laughed and waved her hand at me. "Ey, such an eomma."

Maeyoung took my hands. "Just try it. You like him already, and what if he likes you back?" They gave me hopeful smiles. I bit my lip and looked down on my feet. "I'm scared to be rejected."

"Then I'm gonna fight that pus-" Yuta shushed Yejin even though he wants to hear what she's gonna say. She just rolled her eyes and looked back at me. "Just promise me you won't be hurt."

I don't know what that means but I nodded. "Fine. I'll do it. For myself." They cheered. "Wooh! That's the spirit!"

•••

After dismissal, I went to the library. "Jaeshin, I can't come with you. Mom needs me ASAP." Bora said and hugged me. "Oh, okay. Be careful." She smiled and nodded before leaving.

I let out an exhale and entered the library. As usual, there was Jaehyun and Nox, with him tutoring the little kid. I gathered all my wits and walked towards their table.

Nox turned his head at me and smiled. "Hello, Jaeshin noonah!" He said aloud, which caught Jaehyun's attention. He looked at me and smiled, raising a brow. "I.." I started. I gulped. "I want to talk to you.. alone." I finally said.

Jaehyun looked down at Nox and patted his head. "Leave us alone for awhile, Nox, okay?" Nox nodded and went off his chair. He suddenly pulled my hand and whispered in my ear.

"I'm rooting for you, noonah." He smiled and kissed my cheek before exiting the library. I take back what I said about strangling that little guy.

Jaehyun stood up and placed his hands inside his pockets. "What is it?" He asked. I was scared.. so scared. But I can't hide my feelings anymore. I wanted to let it all out.

I sighed. "I-I like you.. so much. So, so much." I said, carefully choosing my words. Coward, I said to myself.

I was looking down and I saw Jaehyun step in front of me. Jaehyun suddenly lifted my chin up and now, we were looking at each other's eyes. He held my shoulder with the same hand.

He smiled sadly at me. "I'm sorry."

Those two words was enough for me to know that I was rejected. That he can't accept my feelings for him. That he can't like me back. That there would never be an 'us'.

"I.." He said, pursing his lips. "I'm actually in a relationship with Bora."

That's where it hit me.

Epiphany was washed on Yejin because she realized those smiles weren't for me, but for Bora. What she meant about promise her not to be hurt is because it's gonna turn out like this. Instead of looking at books, he was actually talking to Jaehyun and that's why Nox approached me. That's why Nox told me he was rooting for me. That's why Bora was in the gym instead in the school's ground. And when someone dragged Jaehyun out of the canteen.. it was Bora.

The sudden wash of epiphany sent my knees trembling. I dropped on the floor and stared at it.

His smiles were for her and not for me..

•••