I stare at the ceiling for minutes without moving. My mind was racing from the events of last night. Just thinking about it made the hairs on my hands and behind my neck stand. William did that. It really happened. The more I think about it, the more I replay every single detail a frown forced its way on my face.

Why?

Well, I'm scared of myself. I'm scared of what will happen if I let William in like I did last night. We had too much wine and that escalated quickly. William isn't a boy that I throw away after. And now...I feel as if that's gonna happen. I feel as if I'm not going to take this seriously. I'm scared. Even before or after those events, we were so vulnerable and open with each other.

I like that.

I've never been like that with anyone except my brother and of course Bradey. But they're gone. I made sure it was after ten, William and Jayden should be gone by now. I'm aware that his parents no longer live in the castle, they live in a cottage in the safe and protected forest. I brushed my teeth and washed my face before making my way down the stairs. I already regretted not slipping on slippers before because the floor was so cold.

But apparently, still bearable since I continued to walk. I made my way down the stairs with the directions to the kitchen printed in my mind. Just when I was about to turn the corner, I froze upon seeing William at the door. He was just about to leave until he spots me. A smile lit up his face at the sight of me and guilt hit me like a truck hard. "Ev," he whispered and I don't wait for him to say anything else, I take the nearest exit to the massive living room. This is larger than my old house.

"Hey," William grabbed my upper arm and automatically turned me so we were face to face. "What?" The harsh tone paired with the word was a bad combination. His eyebrows furrowed, clearly shocked by my behavior. William immediately dropped my hand and took a step back. "What's wrong? What did I do?" His tone was dripping with worry and guilt as he helplessly asked.

"Nothing, shouldn't you leave? You have um...alpha stuff to do," I cleared my throat, my eyes remained on the elegant decor of the room. "I don't understand what's happening here...last night-" The words he was planning on saying wasn't heard. "Don't talk about last night," I snapped and winced at how cruel that sounded. I'm really making it obvious here.

"What the fuck Everest? You gave me permission to touch you, how could you be like this right now?" William snapped, all sadness that was previously on his face was washed away and was replaced by anger and confusion. "No, I didn't," I lied. Alaska attempted to claw her way out, whining and growling at me but I was stronger than her. I had the control after all.

"You're lying...y-you did," William stumbled back, his fingers flossed through his once neat hair. "What's wrong? What do you want from me? I'm sorry alright...but I could've sworn that last night was...permitted, I'm sorry Ev...I swear I-" William himself couldn't continue, he was confused and tried his best to reach his words out. Right now I was shattering my own heart. But we all know everything that falls breaks. Whether we like it or not.

"I don't want anything from you, I promise. Just leave, go to work," I brushed off and attempted to end the conversation by turning around but of course, William clearly wasn't done. "The pack can wait!" He shouted and I froze at the meaning behind that. Everyone knows William sucks at communicating with his pack but nevertheless, he's a great king. Even though at first it was forced on him by his father.

Saying that...means he put me first. We met a couple of months ago, we had a rough start. But that doesn't mean because we're so-called alright, he has to put me first. I turn around with fists at my sides. So yes, I was angry because right now he was putting me first. That's basically a rule of an alpha. His or her pack first always. "Are you hearing yourself? William would never have said that. I'm bad for you, Will. Leave," I bluntly say.

The look in his eyes shattered me more than anyone will ever realize but I had to hold it up, he needs to leave before I do. "Fuck this shit, Everest. You fucking used me to get what you want huh? You really had me convinced. Trying to make it look like you didn't give me permission? Well last time I checked, you were the one that kept my face between your legs. I'm done here, goodbye, Everest,"

I got what I want.

I did this to myself.

This is good, he stays away from me, I don't lose myself with him and take him for granted. This is good...yeah. So why am I crying? After the whole being left for dead by my parents, I changed a lot. My life did a three-sixty and also my personality did also. Now I care what people think and that meant crying. Why am I crying? This is what I wanted.

The living room door opened again and my eyes quickly flicked to the door, every fiber of me begged that it was William. But it wasn't. It was Jayden. Jayden was dressed in uniform, he had a frown on his lips and his arms were crossed across his chest as his eyes cast on me with sadness.

I don't move neither do I say anything. Jayden shakes his head and drops his hand, a wicked smile shifting on his face. "William gets what William wants, of course, not Rieka," Jayden chuckled. My eyebrows furrowed at that. Rieka? Why is she always a mention in things? I can never escape her. She's a great person, one of the kindest I've met but with her gone, I'm left in the dark.

"I guess you don't want him either," Jayden added before he turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Does he not realize any of that doesn't make sense? I'm tired of this, I need to know what happened before, what happened between Rieka and William because I'm convinced that something did. Renee. Renee knows everything, she has me convinced with the way she spoke before we went shopping and even at his family dinner.

Is risking it worth it? My feet had a mind of their own. I was already stomping my way to Renee's bedroom door. Is this a smart decision? Should I wait for William to tell me on his own? Would I regret this? Nevertheless, the questions flooding through my head didn't stop me. Without hesitating, I pounded on the door with my fist.

It was only seconds later when I heard the moving around. "What?!" Renee shouted as she threw open the door only to freeze upon seeing me. "I need to know. I need to know everything about William and Rieka," I insisted, taking Rieka by surprise. "Are you serious? What did my brother do?" She frowned in her sleepy yet awake state. Renee raised her hand and wiped away the evidence of crying on my cheeks.

"Come in," she ushered me in and shut the door behind me after. Renee and I sat on her bed. Her room was beautiful. Small and simple yet proof of her personal touches here and there. "We just had a disagreement. It was my fault. But I want to know. I need to know. Everyone keeps mentioning it and I wanna know...even if it's just a little bit," I answered her question.

"No, no. I'll help you. Maybe it will help whatever you're both going through and I sort of always knew that I'd have to prepare myself to tell you this someday. Anyway, William really liked her. He loved her actually. Since he was younger, he loved her and it ruined him because he knew she would never feel the same way. He was really crushed when they turned sixteen and she wasn't his mate...sorry to say. But please don't feel bad. I think everyone can say that they're better off with you and Evander.

I believe that he attempted to be her bully to try to get over her but clearly, that didn't work. One would think a smart decision is to stop after realizing it didn't work but...he didn't. Maybe that was his way to hold himself back or something? I'm not sure. Anyway, so William spiraled. He changed completely and became a bitch to Rieka. I'm sure you already know that part. Now he's changed and I can see it. I think Jay doesn't like that he's bettering himself since Rieka is his sister and he treated her badly.

We were all really close and everyone just accepted that trying to change.

William was impossible. It's only been nearly three months and you've changed him, you showed him what's it like to be vulnerable. You showed him importance. I know William regrets it. I heard he talked it out with Rieka but he will never forgive himself. Nothing disastrous ever happened to them, Everest. You have nothing to be worried about," Renee explained, unlocking new questions and answers as she spoke.

"T-Thank you. Wow...just um thank you..." I struggled. She sensed my uncertainty and reached over to hug me with pitiful eyes. I don't allow her to though. Instead, I got off the bed. "No...I need to be alone for a bit. I'm fine, I promise but just give me a bit," I brushed off before I walked out of her bedroom, not bothering to shut the door behind me.

"Everest!" Renee called for me as I kept running and running for the exit. I don't turn back, I don't pay attention. Instead, I wait for the cracking of my bones.