Chapter Fifty-three

Nobody knows what to do or say, because something like this has never happened before. The crowd was is utter shock, and as I left to the back of the stage, Inanis grabs my arm so quickly, I hadn't realized he had followed me.

I wasn't really sure what the protocol was for this anyway. I don't think anyone really knows.

Digging his fingers into my arm, Inanis drags me into the dressing room where two stylists are standing there, white with shock. "Get out." He tells them, and when they don't move quick enough, he yells, "Get out!"

They leave.

He slams the door behind them, and whirls to me, "Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

"Inanis I-"

"Shut up." He's leaning against the door, "We went over it, Mirea. I told you I'd help you, and you simply gave up without even trying."

"That's not true."

"All you had to do what press the blade against her throat, it wasn't that fucking hard!"

"It wouldn't have been hard for you!" I shout back, "You kill all the time, I don't. She is an innocent woman, Inanis, I'm not going to kill someone because her husband is a fucking creep!"

"And so you decided to throw our future away, for a woman you don't even know wasn't part of it? She could have been in on it you fucking idiot."

I couldn't believe that. She has shown nothing but integrity and self-control. I know she was afraid, I know she was angry, but she still showed me kindness, even at her last moments. "She's the one who told told on him, I don't think she did it."

"Mirea." His voice is low, "Because of your weak fucking stomach, that's it. We're done. Does that mean anything to you?"

My heart feels heavy, "I didn't want that, I didn't do it because of our marriage. It really had nothing to do with out marriage at all. I didn't even know our contract would be terminated until last night. It wasn't something I've planned, or came up with."

"Yeah? Well now we are strangers. Isn't that funny? In fact, I have the choice to publicly execute you now. It could be another big thing, bigger than the presidential killing. It's never been done before, I could be the pioneer."

I shake my head, and I feel dizzy, "You wouldn't."

He stares at me, "Why didn't you just do it?"

"She's a human being. I can't just kill someone, to save a marriage."

He pauses, and then, with a strained voice, he starts, "I thought," He struggles to come up with the words, "I thought we were good."

"Good?"

"Yeah. Good. I," He waves his hands back and forth between us, "I liked it. This. Us."

I force myself not to cry, because he's never looked so angry, and yet, so evidently vulnerable, "I liked it too."

Silence, and then, "No, I don't think you did."

"Don't start that." I refuse to let him get off with that as his last words, "Don't start thinking I planned this, or that I chose to do this to get out of being your wife, don't start overthinking like you always do."

"What should I think?"

"That I am your weak, rat of a wife, and I don't know how to kill a human being. I am brainless, as you always like to say. I'm not sorry I did it Inanis, but I do want to be married to you. I didn't at first, in fact I couldn't stand you, but you know I don't feel that way now."

"And what is it you always say Mirea?" He pushes himself off the door, and walks over to me, "What do you always fucking say to me?"

I take a step back. I'm not scared of him, but he is a Bone Cutter. So rarely do I get to see his scary side. "That I hate you."

"Do you?"

"No."

"But you didn't do it."

"I couldn't."

"Do you value her over me?"

"Of course not."

He clearly doesn't believe me, as he begins to pace the room, "So let me get this straight. You claim to care about me, right?" He stares at me, his eyes cold, "But, you easily threw our marriage away for the wife of a pervert?"

It sounds weird when he puts it that way. "It's not that simple and you know it."

"Oh, of course, yes, I forgot, the wife of a pervert who you had only met three times."

I yell again, "I can't kill an innocent human being!"

"And now, we can't been seen together, ever." His voice raised to match mine, "In fact, were I to be seen with you after the official termination, my own contract as a Bone Cutter is done."

The room falls silent. And now I get it. He has to make the choice; me, or his career. The career he has trained for his whole life. The career I was certain he couldn't live without.

I finally lose control, and a tear escapes down my cheek, "I didn't know that."

He laughs, and it is not a humorous laugh, "That's it then?"

I walk up to him, and grab his arm, "I'm sorry-"

"Shut up." He shrugs me off like I am diseased, "I've made my decision."

"No." I'm near begging, "Don't."

"Go. Go home. Your home, not mine."

He's telling me to leave him. To go back to Oregon. "You don't mean that."

"It is quite possibly the only thing I have ever said that has meant something. Get the fuck away from me, I'm done." He looks at me like he really does hate me. A look he has never given me before.

Watching him leave was like him tearing me in half. I've never felt so lost in my life. I remember how badly I did hate him, when I was first forced to be his wife, and how over time he grew on me, and I began to crave his companionship. He still thinks I hate him, and I'm not sure if I can ever change his mind now.

I feel like he has physically wounded me. My chest aches, and alone in the dressing room, I begin to cry.