Chapter Forty

Normally, I'm indifferent to anyone who insults Inanis. I don't care about what they say, whether they say something vulgar to him or not, but the president had leaped across my moral line, and yet I'm still seething over his words, even though we had left the dinner hours ago.

When we returned to the house, Inanis immediately went to bed which is unlike him, as he normally waits for me. He didn't even go to the guest bedroom where I usually sleep, but our actual bedroom, which gives me the idea he's seething over the president's words too.

I do not know what to say to him, and I'm not sure if joining him in bed would be the wisest decision considering the weight of president's accusations, but still, I find myself walking up the stairs, and opening the door of the bedroom before I could stop myself.

Of all the terrible things Inanis has done and all the terrible things he certainly will do, I have to give it to him; he has never forced himself on me. I believe even he has boundaries.

Thank God.

I see Inanis sitting on the bed, his coat still on him, and he's staring at the wall looking lost in thought like always. I always wonder what his mind is constantly thinking of, but every time I ask he shrugs like even he doesn't know.

"Inanis." I say, but he doesn't look at me, so I move over until I'm in front of him, this makes him glance up at me.

"Not to hurt your nonexistent feelings, wife, but I'm am melancholy tonight therefore I'm going to be a bitch and tell you to get the fuck out, I prefer to wallow in my own despair alone."

"Hmm," I pretend to ponder that, "I'm recalling all the hundreds of times that I told you to leave me alone and you refused, therefore, no, now I'm definitely staying."

He narrows at me, but doesn't say anything because he knows I'm right, and that there is nothing he can do to kick me out.

I cross my arms, "So, why are you melancholy tonight?"

"I'm thinking about how I wish my mother miscarried."

I frown, "Don't joke like that, be serious."

"Fine. I'm thinking about how I regret not plunging a fork in Mr. President's throat."

"That would have been unfortunate."

"For everyone but me." There is a humorless smile on his face, and his eyes glide back to the wall distracted. I can't help but think it's my fault he's so lost in thought right now. If he had taken the pill, he'd most likely be numb to the events that occurred tonight. I've noticed that when he's angry, or when he's stressed out, he gets distracted more. Our dinner either pissed him off, or really freaked him out.

His foot is tapping sporadically on the floor, and I want to tell him to calm down but I don't think he can. Instead, I surprise myself by walking over to him until we are inches apart, and I take the collar of his coat, and began to pull it off him.

His eyes dart back to me, and a look of genuine shock is on his face, "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking your coat off before you pass out in it."

"I don't need you to baby me."

"I don't need you to tell me you don't need me."

"I don't need you."

"Yeah?" I throw the coat on the floor, "and I don't need you either."

He's frowning, "Then fucking leave."

"No."

"I mean me, Mirea, leave me."

And it is my turn to stare at him, utterly shocked, "Excuse me?"

He shrugs like our conversation is a casual one, "I'm starting to get bored of you anyway, if you don't leave, what's stopping me from killing you like Virtus and his six wives?"

"You wouldn't." I'm confident, in fact I know he wouldn't. He's not as scary as he wishes he was.

"I've thought about it."

"And yet I'm still breathing." I don't know what I'm doing until I do it. I wrap my arm around his neck, and move each of my knees on both his sides before sitting on his lap. "Are you going to kill me now?"

I can feel his breath on my lips, our faces barely an inch apart, "I hate you so much." He whispers, and tries to pull away, but I'm already on his lap, and I'm refusing to let him move.

"I know." I tell him, "I really hate you too."

"One day I will kill you, I promise you one day I will make you hurt so miserably you'd wish you left me."

"I'm not going to leave." The words escape my mouth, and I know that I mean them. "You're stuck with me until you kill me."

"Maybe I'll kill you tonight."

"Maybe," I muse, "But that would be awfully tragic."

"I can't see any flaw in the idea."

"Really? What if I want sex tonight?" I have no intention on sleeping with him tonight, but I can't stop myself from saying it.

He tenses, and for the first time perhaps ever, I've rendered him absolutely speechless, a rare accomplishment. I want to laugh but force myself not to.

"I guess you'd never know if you killed me." I continue, "Though, you may miss out on something, who knows."

"You can't bait me with sex, that's terribly unfair."

"But it's so much fun."

"Maybe I don't want to sleep with you."

"I don't think that's something a rapist would say."

I know that touched a nerve, because he looks away, "I think I'd rather just kill you."

"Because you're a nice guy, right?"

"More so because I am perfect at my job." He shoves me off of him, and stands up, "Go to sleep, Mirea, we have work tomorrow."

I refuse to let him get away that easily. Before he reaches he door, I grab his arm, and pull him towards me, and push my lips onto his. I don't want to be alone tonight; I don't want him to be alone either.

He makes a terrible attempt to push me away, but eventually stops himself, and instead pulls me against him. His taste is intoxicating, and I can't get enough.

He moves me to the bed, and we both fall onto it. He's on top of me in seconds, and it would take a miracle to separate us.

I don't know how it happens but one moment I'm wearing a dress, and the next, Inanis has it unzipped and halfway down my legs. He's touching my body, and kissing my neck, and I forget how to breathe.

I find it unfair that I'm almost naked and he's still fully clothed, and I reach up and begin to unbutton his shirt, I want to see him shirtless, I have never seen him shirtless.

He doesn't stop touching me, he doesn't stop tasting me, his head is buried in the crevice of my neck, and I know it's going to be bruised tomorrow, but right now I don't care. I finish unbuttoning his shirt, and it hangs loosely on him. I reach my hands up and feel his chest, his heartbeat thrashes underneath my touch and I love it. I love that I can make him feel this way.

He sighs into my ear and his breath gives me chills as he says, "This is dangerous, Mirea."

"I do recall you threatening to kill me only moments prior." I'm so dizzy as I speak. He makes the room spin.

"The threat is still there."

"I would think less of you if it wasn't."

"Then I'll be sure to make you proud."

He's kissing my lips now, slower than he was before, as though he's trying to stop himself. I don't remember when he pulled my dress off, but I'm now lying almost naked underneath him and it doesn't bother me at all. I know by his slight hesitance, that this is as far as we will be going tonight, even if he doesn't stop, I will stop him, not because I don't want him, but because I know deep down, he's not ready, his childish tendencies outweigh his maturity, he wants me, but his obvious self-doubt makes him scared of me too, and that is perfectly fine.

But still, I do not want him off of my body.

When we break apart for air, I ask him, "Do you still want me to leave?" I tell myself if he says yes, I'm going to punch him, very hard.

"Do you want to?" He throws the question back at me, that I'm caught off guard.

"At this moment? No."

"And if I were not on top of you completely naked, might I add, would you want to leave me then?"

I take several steadying breaths, "I hate you." I say, "Therefore I must stay around to make your life hell."

He smiles at that, and I melt underneath him at the sight, "You better make me want to die."

"Trust me," I assure him, "One night, I'm going to make you truly wish you were never born."