Where are you?

Well hello to you too....I'm on my way to English. Why?

You didn't come by your locker.

I haven't gotten that far yet. Why does that matter?

Cuz I'm standing here waiting for you. I have a wish that needs granted :)

First off, Mason cheated when he "beat" Rachel.... pretty sure that means our bet is void. And second, I'm not about to do something embarrassing in Mrs. Sanders class if that's what you're thinking....

I can't hide the little smile forming on my lips while looking down at my phone. The hallways are crowded but I hardly notice anyone else around me as I head to class.

Tyler and I have been working our way back to friendlier terms since last week's final football game. I'd be lying if I said it hasn't felt nice having him back in my life again. Probably because he and Payton are more like family to me than just friends. Which is also why it felt so wrong to try and eliminate him from my life after everything went down.

I've come to believe some people enter your life at the exact moment you need them. If you pay attention, they will teach you invaluable things about yourself. Payton and Tyler each have done that for me in different ways. Payton is my best friend who has challenged me, stood by me, pushed me to new heights and loved me with a fierce love. Tyler on the other hand has brought out a different side of me that no one else ever has. He made it so easy to be vulnerable and open up, and I like to think I did the same for him. The years of walls I built up to mask my insecurities melted away and it taught me how freeing it feels to be your most genuine self. Then, when he broke things off between us, I was forced to look at who I am when I'm all alone. To fight the urge to crawl back within myself and hide the parts of me he had brought out. I shed a lot of tears when things didn't work out between us, but more importantly, in time I shed a lot of self doubts too and it left me stronger in the end. For those reasons I am really proud of how far I have come. I've learned how to stand on my own and that may be the biggest blessing Tyler ever taught me.

I turn the corner by the girls bathroom but stumble back after colliding into a tall dark figure.

My eyes trail up the toned torso of the person who has caught me from falling. The warm sandalwood and citrus scent fills my lungs and instantly I know who it is.

"This feels oddly familiar." Tyler shakes his head in laughter when our eyes meet. "You've gotta stop trying to take me out, Bruiser."

Tyler's still cradling me in his arms, sending a jolt of warmth from where his hands hold me steady. It takes my brain a second to register and reboot words into my head while I stair up at him.

"What have I told you about calling me that name?" I scold him.

"That it's your favorite?" He says but can't keep a straight face.

"Very funny." I deadpan and regain my footing.

"Well now that I found you. Ready to grant my wish?"

"That depends...." I ask skeptically "What is it?"

"Spend lunch with me."

I snort a little laugh.

"Tyler, we already spend lunch together. You and the guys and me and the gir—"

"No, that's not what I mean." Tyler cuts me off while putting his arm around my lower back and guiding us down the hall. "I want you to spend it with me and only me. We can go anywhere that sounds good to you. I can eat anything so you can pick where we go."

"Like right now? What about English?"

"Mrs. Sanders is supposed to give us time to work on our projects with our partners for most of class today anyway.....and you happen to be my partner. So we can just work on it over lunch. It's a win, win! Come on Lila, I promise to get you back before fifth hour."

My favorite dimple on Tylers left cheek peeks out when he smiles back at me, waiting for my response.

I've never skipped a class before. Honestly I've been too much of a rule follower and scardy cat to ever try it. Shocking I know. But the way Tyler is staring at me with his big beautiful blue eyes which resemble more of a puppy dog right now melts my heart into a pool of mush. Any responsible or rational thinking is quickly disappearing the longer he stands before me.

"Um......but like, how would we—? Won't we get caught leaving?" The nerves are evident in my voice and I hate how childish I sound.

As if he can read my mind the way Tyler always can he doesn't wait for me to say anything else and instead jumps into action.

"Don't overthink this. Just follow my lead. If you act naturally nobody is gonna notice. Promise. I'll take care of you, you don't have to worry. You can trust me, Lila."

I've trusted you before, should I do it again?

Tyler casually leads me towards a side door which opens to the back student parking lot. He grabs my books from my hand and throws them into a backpack he had slung around one shoulder. After checking the coast is clear he opens the door for me.

"Ladies first..."

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I walk out and he follows right behind me. My stomach is full of butterflies both from playing hooky from class but also from the gorgeous boy who once broke my heart. Tyler's arm slings around my shoulder as if to say he's proud of me for taking this leap of faith with him.

"Are you a bad influence on me Tyler Johnson? Is this what Sandy felt like in Grease?" I ask him when he opens his passenger door for me to hop into his Jeep.

Tyler laughs. "That depends. Am I your Danny Zuko?"

*****

"Hands on your own plate mister!"

I jab Tyler's fork away that's invading my gigantic plate of tacos, enchiladas, quesidillas and rice. We decided on a small Mexican restaurant ten minutes outside of town. The food here is delicious but more importantly, I thought the chances of us running into someone we know while we are supposed to be at school were slim.

"Come on Lila, share with me. You know you'lll never finish it all."

"I might." I scoff, knowing this is enough food to feed me for three meals.

"Pretty please. Just one bite."

Seeing this giant gorgeous guy beg me for some of my food does something to my insides and it's hard to deny him any longer.

"Ok fine." I nudge my plate a little closer to him. "You really are like a big toddler sometimes you know that right?!"

Tyler is too busy happily shoving his mouth full of my food to retort my last comment. Instead he gives a big cheesy grin and keeps piling chicken tacos into his mouth.

"So.... What made you pick this as your wish? I thought for sure you'd try to embarrass me or make me wash your Jeep or something." I say sarcastically but really in my mind I've been wondering for the last twenty minutes what Tyler's motivation for taking me to lunch is. I sit there in the dark corner booth quietly trying to keep my mind from racing.

Tyler finishes his bite and clears his throat.

"Honestly? I've just really missed you."

Tyler looks me directly in the eyes, not an ounce of sarcasm in his face. Clearly we are done with the banter portion of our conversation.

"Uh, I've missed you too."

His eyes are my favorite shade of blue right now. They remind me of Lake Michigan on a perfect summer's day.

"I know you've moved on, and I'm trying to be happy for you, truly I am. I'm really glad you're in a good place now. Especially since everything that happened was my fault and I handled the entire situation so horribly wrong." Tyler's face shifts, he looks nervous, desperate maybe? "I'll probably never be able to adequately apologize for how I treated you, but I'm hoping you will let me try. There are some things I've been holding in and I was hoping you'd let me get them off my chest."

I stair back at the boy who broke open my heart, letting his words wash over me. I take in a deep breath and nod my head so he can continue. Tyler grabs my hand from across the booth as he begins.

"I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did to you. I'll never be able to explain how sorry I truly am. But my real wish, wasn't actually for you to come have lunch with me."

Tyler pauses and grabs a brown leather bound journal from his backpack next to him in the booth.

"My real wish is for you to read this."

Tyler slides the worn down notebook towards me. A puzzled look on my face.

"It's my journal. Nobody knows I have one, not even Payton or my parents. It's where I write down all my thoughts, dreams, aspirations, all the stuff that is really important to me."

"Tyler, I mean. This is such an intimate gift...You really sure you want to give it to me?"

I strum my thumb over the smooth brown leather with the hand that isn't holding his. The weight of this moment is not lost on me. Tyler is giving me a piece of himself, a piece he hasn't shown to anyone else.

"I'm sure." Tyler confirms with a soft smile as he continues.

"Before you came into my life I never really had anyone who I could talk to on an intimate level so this journal helped me to collect my thoughts, work out any anxieties about football, the future or whatever. Basically it was a way for me to express myself outwardly when I could say it in words to anyone else. Then when you came into my life, for the first time ever, I had someone who just 'got me.' You called me out on my crap, challenged me in more ways than one and never made me feel like I had to put up any kind of front with you. You accepted me for the real person that I am. Not just the football player or popular guy who everyone expects me to be. So many of the relationships in my past have been superficial or surface level. People only wanting to date me or be friends with me cuz they thought it would make them more popular. But not with you, Lila. From the very beginning it's always been different. I never felt used by you but actually the opposite, I couldnt' get enough of being around you because you always made me feel my best. The truth is, since I met you, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. I've never stopped thinking about you even when I tried to do what Coach thought I needed to do and I made the biggest mistake of my life by listening to him...."

"Coach? What do you mean?" My voice barely squeaks out as I fight the tears that are forming in my eyes.

"I won't sit here and insult you by blaming Coach for what I did, I ultimately made the choice. I realize now that Coach was just doing what he thought was best for me, even though I know for a fact that it's the worst decision I've ever made."

I keep starring at him confused with my heart in my throat waiting for him to make sense of what he's telling me.

"Let me explain. Deciding to end things with you was never what I wanted to do. In fact, it was the complete opposite of what I wanted. Homecoming night was the best night of my life! I finally had the courage to tell you how I felt and I was the happiest I've ever been..." Tylers thumb is nervously strumming my hand in his.

" ...As you know, the next day, Coach called me in for a meeting to tell me about the suspension. When he told me all the schools that were considering me retracted their offers after the fight with Tanner I was pretty freaked out. Which I also want to point out that the fight or how Tanner and I handled ourselves was never your fault, Lila."

He stops and looks at me to make sure I am hearing him. I nod and he continues.

"Anyways, when Coach and I were talking he gave me a set of things I needed to do to bring my focus back to football and hopefully get back in the good graces of my top schools. One of the things he said was non negotiable was to end my relationship with you. I tried to fight him on it and told him he was being ridiculous but bottom line is he made me feel like if I didn't let you go I was blowing my shot at my dream of ever playing for a D1 school." Tyler clears his throat and goes on. "Thinking back on it now I realize how stupid that sounds since you have only made me a better player, not worse, but back then I didn't really know what else to do. I took his advice and broke things off between us." Tyler's eyes turn glossy and red rimmed.

"In that moment I was too scared of disappointing everyone, myself, my parents, friends, heck even most of the town was expecting me to go play for some big university. I was so mad at myself for ruining my chances at a scholarship because I let someone as insignificant as Tanner get under my skin. I'm not proud of the decision I made, but sadly I went along with what Coach said I should do to try and salvage my future in football. It's the biggest regret that I have. Because without you in my life Lila, nothing feels right anymore."

"Tyler...I....I don't even know what to say." Tears roll down my cheeks at his confession.

"Lila, you don't have to say anything. Like I said, this is all my fault. You never deserved what I did to you and for that I am more sorry than I will ever be able to explain. I know this apology is way late. Please just take the journal and when you feel like it, read it. I hope it can help explain exactly how I felt and still feel about you better than I did just now. Even if you never allow me back into your heart again, I wanted you to know the truth."