I'm watching old One Tree Hill episodes in my room and pretending to study my Spanish II flash cards when my phone starts ringing. Even though it's been a few days since Tyler ended things between us, my heart still drops into my stomach whenever it rings. I guess a part of me is still hoping he will call and we could talk like we used to.

"Hey Charlie"

I plaster on the best fake smile I can muster when I answer my brother's Facetime. He's tried calling me all week and I haven't had the energy to speak with him. I decide I can't avoid him any longer.

"Hey Lies! How are you? Where you been all week? You're not trying to dodge your big bro are you?!"

I muster a small laugh "I'm good....just been busy."

It's only partially a lie. I have been pretty busy, throwing myself into my homework to try and forget how much my heart is breaking.

"Oh yeah?.....How was Homecoming?" He's trying to mask his motive for calling but I know the only reason why he bothers to ask.

"You know, like any high school dance....."

I can't make eye contact with Charlie, I'm a terrible liar and he always sees right through me.

"Did that Tyler kid go?"

THERE IT IS. What Charlie really wants to know. That didn't take long. Charlie clearly hasn't forgotten the last time we talked I hung up on him because Tyler showed up tossing pebbles at my bedroom window.

"Um.....yeah. He was there." I bite my lip.

"What aren't you telling me Lila? You're being weird. Just spit it out..... you know I'll find out anyway."

I sigh with frustration because I know Charlie won't stop until I tell him. He knows me too well, I can't fake how I'm feeling around him.

".....Well....uhhh..."

"Lila, stop stalling. Just tell me. Did he try something? Do I need to teach this dude a lesson?! I can—" His voice starts to sound panicked.

"No! No, nothing like that. Actually the opposite, Tyler saved me from stupid Tanner..." I mumble under my breath.

"Wait, back up! Whose Tanner and what did he do to you? You better tell me right now what happened!" The alarm in Charlie's voice is growing by the second.

"Nothing.....it wasn't a big deal. Tyler got to me in time."

"Lilaaaa."

His voice is stern. He sounds bizarrely similar to my dad which throws me off.

"I'll tell you everything if you promise NOT to overreact."

This time my voice is the one that's stern.

"I never overreact." Charlie goffs.

"I'm serious, Charlie."

"Fine." He crosses his arms over his chest. "I'm listening."

"Good.....like I said, it's not a big deal.... Tanner is just a narcissistic prick who goes to my school. He's awful and I can't stand him. Anyways, he was kind of drunk at the dance and sort of grabbed me and wouldn't let me go. I told him I didn't want to dance but he was being a pig...."

I can tell Charlie's blood is starting to boil. The redness in his neck is slowly creeping into his face. He fights back the urge to interject and lets me continue with a subtle head nod.

"So yeah, I was trying to get away from Tanner when Tyler saw what was happening and he....uhh....punched him."

"Oooooooh! I wish I'd seen that!"

We both laugh a little bit before I continue.

"Anyways, Tanner totally deserved it. After Tyler clocked him they started actually fighting. It was kind of a mess. It all happened so fast. Some chaperones saw the fight and broke it up. We had to leave the dance after that." I look back up at Charlie who is trying to stifle his smile and remain serious.

"When we were getting ready to leave Tyler asked me to ride with him."

"Alone?!" Charlie blurts

"Ah yes....do you want me to continue the story or not?!"

Charlie clears his throat and tries to act chill. "Sorry, please continue."

"When we left Tyler was still really worked up about Tanner and the fight. I was trying to get him to calm down. I didn't know why he couldn't let it go. I mean Tanner is horrible but he always is.... Long story short, Tyler felt really protective of me because he admitted to liking me. Tanner putting his hands on me sent him over the edge which is why he had reacted the way he did...."

I pause to check on Charlie, he's rubbing his temples violently. I gulp down my nerves and decide to continue with my confession despite how Charlie may react to the next part.

"So I told him I had feelings for him too.....Then he kissed me. It was actually very sweet. I was kind of in shock but in the best way."

Charlie looks pale. He's still quiet and I can't decide if that's better or worse. I think I may have broken him.

"The rest of the night was great. We decided to go grab some food since we were both starving. Tyler took me to a diner with the best breakfast I've ever had. It was so perfect, just me and him. It felt so easy. Tyler gets me better than anyone else ever has." Charlie snorts but I ignore him and continue on. "We could have stayed there to talk all night. But our friends kept texting they wanted to meet up so we left after a while and went night swimming back at Payton and Tyler's house. Which was freezing by the way. Once we were all numb we went inside to get warmed up and watched a movie before bed. It was honestly the most perfect night." I say with a sigh.

My eyes involuntarily start to tear up thinking back to how happy I was only a few short days ago. I swallow hard and clear my throat, trying to shake the memories from my mind.

"So if the night was so great, why do you look so sad?" Charlie finally has the courage to speak again.

"Well....that's because the next day everything changed." I take a deep breath in and out before I continue.

"Tyler found out his fight with Tanner got them both suspended from the football team for a couple weeks. Tyler's the star quarterback so it's a big deal. Playoffs are about to start and it's really going to screw up their chances of making it. Plus the college recruits found out and they weren't happy....." My voice turns into a whisper. "Tyler ended things with me. He said he needed to focus on football without distractions. I think he hates me for ruining everything—" I wipe at my eyes.

"Lies, look at me. You know this isn't your fault right?"

"But it is my fault though!" The words shooting from my lips with more force than I had intended. "I'm the reason Tyler fought Tanner. I'm the reason the team is struggling because they can't play. I'm the reason Tyler might not get a scholarship to college after he's worked so hard." I can't stop the tears that freefall down my cheeks.

"Are you joking me?! Stop it Lila! This is one hundred percent not your fault. Look at me when I tell you this." Charlie waits until I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and look at him through the phone.

Charlie's voice is soft. "First of all, I love you and I wish you would have told me about this sooner instead of avoiding me. You don't need to be sad about this on your own you know? I'm always here for you."

"It's fine.... I don't know why I'm crying again." I begin to re-bottle up my sadness and push it down. I've never been great about being vulnerable in front of others.

"Don't act like that in front of me, Lies. You don't have to pretend with me."

"I know, I know. I'll try to work on it." I give a shy smile.

"You better.... Secondly, I'm gonna need this Tanner punks address. I think he and I will have a nice little chat the next time I'm back in town."

Charlie's devious smirk lights up his face and he gets exactly what he wanted, to see me smile.

"Stop it Charlie, that's not funny! You shouldn't joke like that."

"Who's joking?! I'm not. It sounds like he needs someone to remind him of his manners."

"You're ridiculous. You live 1,400 miles away and yet you still feel the need to protect me."

"Abso-freaking-lutely I do little sis! That's what big brothers are for." He says with the biggest most arrogant grin on his face.

"Gosh I miss you. I wish you lived closer so we could have a movie marathon like old times."

"I know. I miss you too. That sounds nice, minus all the horrible Disney princess movies you have made me watch over the years!"

"Hey now! You wanted to see Tangled just as bad as I did mister. You know you totally used me as your decoy to go see it in theaters when in reality you just wanted to go for yourself."

"Think what you want baby sis!" Charlie laughs. "But really, as soon as this internship slows down I'm booking the first flight back to see you. It's been too long."

"Promise?"

"Of course."

We both take a contented sigh. Talking to Charlie always makes things better.

"Alright. Well I should probably let you go. I do actually need to get some studying done for my Spanish quiz. But thanks Charlie, you did surprisingly make me feel a little better." I give him a sarcastic smile.

"Alright baby sis. One more thing before I go."

"What's that?"

"No more crying over this Tyler dude. It sounds like he let a good thing between you guys go and that's on him, not you. Right now he probably feels like football is the most important thing in his life but one day he'll figure it out. Don't let his immaturity make you feel like you're less than anything but one of the nicest, most beautiful and thoughtful girls out there. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Instead of making you feel guilty about everything that happened he should have felt privileged to be with you and made you his priority. If he doesn't see that then he never deserved you in the first place."

Who is this sweet, mature, wise man that is talking to me right now? He can't possibly be my brother.

"Thanks Charlie. I love you"

"Love you too Lies."

I hung up the phone and for the first time since Sunday I wasn't sad. I actually felt lighter than I have felt in days. Charlie is right. I'm not totally over Tyler yet but I finally feel like I'm moving in that direction. I vow to try to let go of the guilt I've been carrying and start treating myself better. It's time to start remembering who I am, and that girl is pretty great.

My phone dings with a text.

:

: Very funny ....

: I think the lesson we can take from this is that you are better off not dating any guys until you're at least 45.

: Shut up 😒

: 😂🤣😂🤣