Alright, take a deep breath. In.....Out..... Good.

Starring at the reflection in my bedroom mirror I try to calm my nerves.

I'm fine, everything is going to be fine. People start new schools everyday.

I spent hours last night questioning what I should wear today. I want to look nice of course, but not stand out too much either since a lot of attention makes me feel super uncomfortable. After going through my entire closest and the remaining boxes I still haven't unpacked in my room, I decided on a light pink floral romper with ruffle cap sleeves and shorts. It won't be warm enough to wear an outfit like this for much longer in Michigan so I figured I should take advantage of the summer like temps while I still can. To finish off the look I lightly curled my long strawberry blonde hair and pulled it half up with a light pink ribbon.

I'm not normally an early riser or one to fuss about my appearance so much in the morning but I couldn't sleep last night. There were too many anxious thoughts flooding my mind about today. By 5:30am I gave up, deciding that getting ready would at least be productive. Waking up early also means I've had way too long to overthink all of my worst fears going into my first day at a new high school in the middle of a brand new town where I don't know anyone. Gulp.

Let me back up. My family just moved to Romeo, a small town in Southeast Michigan, three weeks ago. The move came as a complete shock to me. My dad got transferred to help run a smaller branch here which is why we came. His company is based out of Chicago which is where we used to live. Now, we're in some small town that's in the middle of nowhere and reminds me a whole lot of "Stars Hollow." It's cute here, don't get me wrong, but I miss the hustle and bustle of living in a city of over two million people. The anonymity it gave me was oddly comforting. Based off the interactions we've had with our new neighbors since moving in, I get the feeling I won't get that luxury here. Romeo is small enough that everyone knows everyone and everything about each other.

Since the move I haven't ventured out much, mostly I've been sulking in my room watching "One tree Hill" reruns and eating junk food, missing my old life and friends. I did take a walk last night to try and clear my head. Main Street looks exactly like what you would imagine a quaint small town should look like. Each light post is decorated with colorful floral baskets, a giant banner advertising the upcoming 'Peach Festival' hangs over the main intersection and the local businesses all show school spirit with pictures of the Bulldog mascot in red and white.

"Morning" My mom greets me when I enter the kitchen.

"Morning" I mumble back.

Mom always tries to have an optimistic view about things, but even her gaze seems a little guilty this morning. She knows how hard it's been for me since we moved. I wouldn't call myself shy, but I'm definitely more of an introvert and have a hard time putting myself out there so having to start all over my Junior year of high school is basically my worst case scenario and she knows that. I may have been a *tiny bit* of a drama queen when my parents announced we were moving only two months ago. At first I yelled about anything and everything irrationally (not my best moment). Then I gave my parents the silent treatment the first two weeks after the move (again, not my best moments, I know). But don't worry, I've since gone through the stages of grief and am starting to accept that Romeo is my new home whether I like it or not. Last week I toned down my attitude and started talking to my parents again. To be honest, I didn't have much choice. They are the only two people here I have to talk to and it was getting lonely all by myself in my room everyday.

"Ready for your first day?" My mom finally asks after some silence.

"Ready as I'll ever be." The sarcasm is thick in my voice. I'm still working on the snarky remarks, I never said I was perfect.

The rest of breakfast we bounce between a little bit of mindless small talk and silence. Mom and I don't usually talk much in the mornings since I'm typically still half asleep (not a morning person, remember). But the silence today is probably because she can see the wheels in my head turning as the minutes tick down until I need to leave for school.

I'm grabbing my backpack and keys when my mom smiles her wise mom smile at me.

"Just be yourself and you'll find your place at this new school, honey. You always find your way no matter what you do, this will be the same."

"Thanks mom, love you." I give her a hug and head out the side door.

The drive to school is under five minutes in this tiny town so it's not much time for me to gain my composure before the inevitable. Gulp. Since I'm a new student I was instructed by Principle Ford to head to the main office to pick up my schedule and meet the person who will escort me to classes and show me around today. It feels a little embarrassing to have someone forced to chaperone me around today but I am a little relieved I will at least meet one person today without having to try. I just hope they are nice.

I pull into the high school parking lot. Everyone's hanging outside with friends in the sunshine talking to each other when I find a spot to park. I'm about ten minutes early and immediately regretting not waiting longer at home. My hands get clammy and my heartbeat starts to skyrocket when I think about stepping outside of my car. I pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Please pick up." I mumble to myself and hit the FaceTime app.

He picks up on the second ring. Thank goodness!

"Lila!"

"Hey Charlie" I give him a forced smile

"Uh oh, I know that look. It's the face of my little sister whose nervous about her first day at the new school."

I scoff at his accurate description of me. Charlie knows me too well.

"Listen, there's no need to worry, Lila. It's the first day so it's a fresh start for everyone. You aren't going to be the only one whose nervous and I'm sure you won't be the only new student either. Plus, you're tougher than any other girl I know. I guess you have your three older brothers to thank for that." Charlie says with an arrogant smirk.

"There you go again, always trying to take credit for my achievements" I tease back. "But seriously, this would be so much better if you three stooges didn't all leave me to start your own adult lives. It's not fair, none of you had to make the move because you're all off living your lives in different cities, doing adult stuff or whatnot and I'm stuck in the boonies with mom and dad all alone." Wow I sound like a whiny baby. Note to self- work on that.

"Lies...."

Charlie is the only one who calls me "Lies" as a nickname for Lila. He says it's funny since I lied all the time to get him in trouble as a little girl. Which is totally untrue. He got in trouble all the time because he's the oldest and did all the dumb stuff first. Plus he's a larger than life personality and a born troublemaker, whereas I am the more reserved child who learned from her older brother's mistakes.

"..... You'll be fine. I promise. Have I ever lied to you?" Yes, but that's not the point he's trying to make right now. "I know it probably sucks for you that none of your big bros are around much right now, and I do feel bad we all left you, but I promise I will come visit as soon as I can to see the new house. This internship is kicking my butt right now, but if I get a free weekend anytime soon then the first thing I'm doing is booking a ticket home to see you."

Charlie's tone is genuine. I can tell he's missing me as much as I'm missing him. I'll admit, getting to spend some time with him does sound really nice right now. Even though there are six and a half years between Charlie and I, we have a very close relationship, more so than what I have with my other brothers, Lucas and Tucker. Charlie didn't mind letting me tag along with him and his friends when I was little which made me feel special growing up. He was the one who would stick up for me when Lucas or Tuck would gang up on me. He probably felt like he had to protect me from their terrorizing when we were all younger, you know, even the playing field two vs two. Things are different now. All my brothers are grown up and off figuring out what adult life will look like for them. Charlie is in Florida interning at some fancy advertising agency hoping to get hired on there in the next couple months. Lucas is in Los Angeles at art school pursuing his dream job of storyboarding for big Hollywood blockbusters. Tucker or Tuck for short, is in trade school in North Carolina learning a few different specialities before he settles on one. I'm happy for all of them as they chase their dreams, I just wish their dreams were a little closer to me so I had people to hang out with while I adjust to my new life in Romeo.

"No, it's ok. I can suck it up. I know you're busy and don't have the money to fly home for the weekend, so you don't have to do that. I'm just being a baby. Just promise me you'll come visit for the holidays, ok?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world little sis."

"Alright well, I better go. Don't want to be late for the first day." I say with sarcasm and get ready to hang up.

"Hey Lies..."

"Yeah?"

"Just one more thing.... I love you. Now go kick some butt and make new friends!"

Charlie laughs to himself and hangs up. He's not the best at pep talks but he's trying to play the part of a wise older brother and that melts my heart. It may have been a little tough to grow up in a household full of boys, but I wouldn't change it for the world. A genuine smile is on my face now. I'm glad I called him. He always does manage to get me out of a funk and into a better headspace.

I take a deep breath, step out into the sunshine and brush my romper down. Here goes nothing.

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