Nadia has left a tight grouping of arrows hanging from the target, not one has strayed so far as to miss entirely. My attempts are quite sad in comparison. I still need more practice, even if I’m never as good as Nadia I want to be able to use this as a weapon.

It’s a matter of strength and survival. I can’t stay this weak.

The sun peaks in the sky as we approach lunchtime, a luxury that I’m still getting used to. Nadia is still focused, ever since she mentioned Cildr she’s dedicated most of her time to training. She wants to be strong too.

The wind picks up in a short gust, rushing through the clearing, but it’s not enough to knock the arrow off target. It joins the others with a solid *Thunk*.

Overhead, a large bird glides on the wind, riding it down to perch on a branch at the edges of the forest. The rustling branches quiet as the wind dies down again, and the sound of chirping insects rises to fill the void.

The bird turns its yellow eyes to the field around us, smoothing out its brown feathers, which gradually turn to white at the tips. The sharp beak and pointed claws prove that the bird can put up a fight, but I can’t see anything to prove what magic it might have.

It seems like it would be dangerous even without the use of magic.

“Must be on the hunt,” Nadia says, noticing the same bird I’ve been watching, her bow lowered. “It preys on that which comes from the forest.”

“Do you think you could hit it?” I ask looking at her target, then up at the bird.

“I have some confidence in my skill, but I could still miss from this distance. Not that there’s any need to kill the bird. Killing something without purpose is wasteful, I can agree with elvish culture on that point.”

I lean in closer to Nadia, ensuring no one else is around before whispering to her.

“It’s been a long time since Syr’s friends all turned to ash. Like with Nadia’s bow, Syr needs to practice.” She might think it abhorrent, but I’m sure she’ll understand if I can show her what my friends are like. She’s never actually met any, and she’s only looked at the puppets for a short moment while we were fighting.

“Oh… But there’s no need for…” She shakes her head and looks down into my eyes, her expression twisting with worry, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“It is.”

Why shouldn’t I want this?

I might not be able to show it to everyone, but necromancy is a part of me, a big part. I’d like to show Adeleya, and Nadia, and everyone else how awesome my friends can be. How awesome I can be. Prove to them that I am strong, that I belong with them.

“Okay, just keep it hidden,” She replies, readying her bow and sighting the bird. “I’ll kill it cleanly.”

The bird gazes at us but doesn’t seem to see us as a threat, if anything it seems to be searching for prey of its own.

Nadia looses an arrow and, as if finally realizing the danger, the hawk flaps its wings to take flight. It lifts itself perfectly in line with Nadia’s aim, the arrow pierces through its chest. The bird offers a short flutter of life before becoming limp in the embrace of gravity.

I leap forward as æther flows throughout my legs, strengthening my muscles and moving me faster. My balance has improved since I’ve taken up my new sword and, using that balance, I leap over the stumps and roots that would hinder me from trying to reach the bird before anything happens to it.

Sliding the last few metres, I catch the bundle of feathers before it can hit the ground.

As I cradle the poor bird, still bleeding from the wound in its chest, it twitches with the last hints of life. I strengthen my skin to protect myself from its talons, but it’s not quite enough and I bleed from the wounds. The arrow that pierced, managed to cut almost all the way through but hangs just a little short of it. I grip the shaft tightly and pull it out of the bird’s back painting the ground around us with red blood.

I use my magic even while the bird is still struggling against death.

Focussing my æther, I push insistently into the fading streams within the bird’s body, trying to steal what little life is left. Something wards me away, my magic sliding against a shield impossibly strong, no matter how delicate it seems. It’s not until that energy fades away, slipping from the body, that my magic can start to work.

That one part escapes, fading away somewhere beyond my reach, but I steal everything else. I steal its body, its memories, and its experiences.

When my magic has become fully formed, the bird sits back up again looking at me, the light inside is gone and all that shines in its eyes now is a dull reflection of myself.

“Sandy,” I whisper her name as I help to settle her feathers back into the proper place. She’s stained red with blood. I’ll have to do something about that.

“That’s…” Nadia begins as she catches up to me, “Are you done already?”

“Sandy is fine now,” I say, holding her out, “Do you want to meet her?”

Nadia looks at me with an expression I can’t make sense of as she reaches out to Sandy, who playfully rubs her head along Nadia’s fingers. She’s a kind bird, and friendly, too.

“She’s thanking you,” I tell Nadia.

“For what?”

“For bringing us together.”

She looks at me again with that strange expression before speaking in a more serious tone.

“Syr… I…” She hesitates, “Are you having trouble making real friends, or…”

“No, Syr is fine.”

“Okay then…” She seems a little sad to me.

“Sandy, do you want to fly?” I ask. I want to know what it is like to share the sky with her, the last time I had a bird friend was Sylph and… I don’t want to think about it.

Sandy screeches before diving forwards off my shoulder. Her wings feel firm and confident in each sweeping movement, she pulls herself through the thick air climbing up and away. It feels like we’re swimming through the sky as we climb up higher and higher.

The ground beneath becomes distant and we take in the sight of the town from above. It’s far more impressive from up here, the buildings are all bunched together, and they cover so much land it’s incredible. Yet, it also looks so much smaller, each building something much less impressive.

“Syr?” Nadia interrupts me.

“What is it?”

“You should be careful with… Sandy.” She looks up at the brown bird with worry. “For now, why don’t we bring her back down here and get her cleaned up a little.”

“And introduce her to everyone.” I hope that Adeleya will like her.

“That too…” Nadia is sombre as Sandy glides back down to us. It’s not as if I don’t understand at all, she’s told me how she doesn’t like necromancy, but surely, she can’t hate Sandy. She’s cute and fluffy. She’s not something horrible.

“The blood and holes might not be obvious, but if you clean her up and stitch the wound closed, then people should mistake her for a normal bird,” Nadia says as she looks at the injury, and Sandy as a whole.

“Ah, sewing her together? I didn’t think of that!” I never really knew about needles and things like that before. “After she’s properly stitched up, maybe we can get her some accessories to pretty her up.”

“I’m sure you already understand, but you can’t let anyone know what Sandy is. Since you’re an elf who’s lived in the wilds, we can convince people that you’ve learned to train animals. It’s an easy lie to use to protect you.”

“That’s smart.” Why didn’t I think of that? “Syr won’t let anyone know. It will be dangerous and Syr would have to run away.”

Snowspring isn’t my home.

It’s filled with dangerous people that I need to hide from. I can’t be myself here. I have to be a good pack member; I have to pretend to belong.

“Exactly,” Nadia replies, “Now let’s go.”

“What about the bow practice?”

“Sandy is more important right now.” She smiles, but it doesn’t feel like a happy smile.

“Until we’re back somewhere private, you should hide her in your cloak or something,” Nadia suggests, standing between me and the town as if to conceal me. It’s not needed, we’re already behind the trees and no one is coming this way.

“That’s a good point.” Though the feathers cover her injuries and I doubt anyone would be too suspicious of her at a glance, there is still plenty of blood staining her feathers.

I pull her into my arms and wrap my cloak tight around us. She cuddles up close to me underneath it, behaving herself properly so that she won’t be noticed until I’m back in my room.

We walk back to town, though Nadia makes sure to recover her arrows first. Those training in the fields were so focused on their own fighting that they didn’t notice Sandy at all. If they’d seen us shoot the bird maybe they could cause an issue, but thankfully that isn’t something we have to worry about.

Still, Nadia is filled with what worry I don’t have, watching everyone nervously like a fox that hears the wolven howl. I understand just as well the risks, but no one will find out about this.

The people of town don’t treat us any different than usual, though perhaps there are fewer stares today since I’m not carrying my sword with me. Alice doesn’t let me bring it to lessons, so I left it back home.

I can still fight without my sword if I have to.

Scanning the crowd around us like I always do, I see the others before they notice us.

“What are you two up to?” Adeleya asks, grabbing me by the shoulder as she looks down at my cloak and the strange bulge in the front. Beside her, Alice, Theo and Lothar are crowding the street.

What are they up to?

Never mind that I have to introduce Sandy.

“Come with me,” I say, grabbing Adeleya’s hand and pulling her along. The others follow behind us as we run through the tight streets to return to the small set of rooms that Alice lets me live in.

The building, behind the guild, has strong sturdy pillars and wooden floorboards that are so tight together that the bugs can’t creep through in the night. My room even has a small window, complete with a wooden cover that seals the warmth in of a night.

We all crowd inside the room, Alice and Theo standing nearer the door as the others take seats around me. It is now, with everyone’s attention on me, that I pull out Sandy.

Adeleya watches closely, her face turning stiff as she sees Sandy covered in blood. Nadia looks away as if pretending not to see. Theo and Alice stand close side by side and watch with little reaction, and Lothar is grumbling to himself as he checks to make sure there’s no one near the window.

“This is Sandy.” As I introduce her, she gives a chirp and a little flap of her wings. She’s a little nervous but doesn’t let it show, sitting proudly as the others look on.

“Sandy…?” Adeleya asks, wrinkling her nose, “It is dead, yes?”

I nod, carefully pulling aside the feathers to show the wound still marring her flesh, “She’d like to have the holes sewed up though. And the blood wiped away.”

“She’d… like that, huh?” Adeleya’s smile twitches strangely as she reaches out for Sandy, gently touching at her neck, “Still warm…”

“I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to do this?” Alice asks, glaring at me like she does when I’m not paying attention to her lessons.

“Mom told me not to,” I say. “She didn’t want me using this magic either, but when I was out in the forest this magic is what saved me. My friends saved me.”

“Syr, you’re not in the forest anymore,” Adeleya says, patting my head. “You don’t need to be scared anymore.”

“But I do need to be scared. That’s why you don’t want anyone knowing about it, right?” I ask. “They’ll kill me if they know. So, I need to be strong.”

“Syr…”

“This is who I am. This is how I live,” I say, curling up and holding Sandy close. “Do you not like me if I’m like this?”

If I give this up, I’ll be too weak to protect anyone when the time comes.

If I don’t give it up, then Adeleya and the others won’t want me.

“She’s nice,” I say, showing them Sandy again. “She’s not bad, or evil. Is it… Do I have to leave?”

I don’t know where else I can go, and I don’t want to leave.

They’re silent.

They look at each other, talking without making a sound. I don’t know how to read their looks or expressions. Adeleya is silent, looking down at Sandy and I know she doesn’t see what I see.

“Well,” Alice breaks the silence. “If she’s to be kept here around town, she’ll need to look the part of an ordinary bird. Adeleya, you do keep a sewing kit, yes?”

She flinches before sighing and pulling out a small package.

“Of course. You can take care of this…?” She waves at Sandy.

“I’ll tend to it,” Alice tells her, seizing the kit and walking closer. “Sandy doesn’t mind if I’m a bit rough?”

Sandy shakes her head and opens her wings up to show off the hole in her breast.

“Very well, then,” She quickly goes to work with the needle and thread. “I have had some little experience in taxidermy once before. Does she need any ointments or some such?”

“No, Sandy should be fine with this. Her wounds might close slowly on their own, but it is only ever slowly.”

“Is that so?”

“Syr…” Adeleya whispers, sitting down beside me and pulling me closer. I don’t mind at all, but why does she seem so sad?

“You know we’re not leaving you behind, right? It’s just a quest, a job.”

“But… I’m not going with you, am I?”

She frowns.

“We will be back, okay? And there are plenty of people here that you could make friends with too. There are kids your age wanting to join the guild, and I know that you’d get along with them.”

“Syr will make friends,” I say, pressing my face into my knees to try and hide from their stares.

Alice has finished sewing Sandy back together and is now wiping clean her feathers.

“She should be fine after this, just be careful with her, if people get too close, they might notice something is wrong with her.”

“Sandy will be careful,” I say, mumbling as I look around. Everyone is looking away from me, and it doesn’t feel like anyone trusts me.

“You be careful too,” Adeleya says. She runs her hands through my hair, but she still won’t look at me.