《Inescapable Escapism (A Psychological Isekai Fantasy)》18. So, urm, come here often?
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I stretched my arms high above my head, writhing slightly as I stretched out my back. The sun lounger was surprisingly comfortable. It was padded and reclined at the perfect angle for me to be sitting slightly upright, able to see around the pool, but still be comfortable.
The chairs were pretty spread out too which made me feel so much better. I didn’t need to worry as much about pretending to be Alice, no one would be able to overhear us anyway. I could just relax.
“Time to put more sunscreen on, kid,” Mitch muttered quietly from beside me.
I blinked away some of the blueness from my vision.
Despite wearing sunglasses, the sun was cooking my eyes and making it a little hard to see. It was my fault, I had fallen asleep in it even after Mitch said I should probably move under an umbrella but I was so comfortable and nicely warm that I hadn’t wanted to move.
It was the perfect temperature and I was nicely full from breakfast. I blamed the hotel. It was too good. Everything about it was relaxing and what I wanted.
I sat up slowly, dizziness shooting through me. I wasn’t sure if it was from dehydration or just the normal dizziness I felt when I started daydreaming now. It should have been worrying, I knew that logically, but I just didn’t care.
Grabbing the suncream somewhat blindly, I started rubbing it into my skin.
“Make sure you’re staying out of the sun a little more, kiddo. If you get burnt or worse, sunstroke, I’m leaving you here when I go to the island. Trust me, running around with that stuff is a recipe for disaster,” he said under his breath.
“Why?” I asked a little too sharply, glancing up at the nearby umbrella.
I wasn’t willing to risk it. I wanted to go to Spinalonga, I had to.
“You had sunstroke before?”
I shook my head.
I mean, I’d been burnt before, of course, but I couldn’t remember ever having sunstroke.
“If you run around too much with it, which we’ll probably be doing, you’ll pass out and I’ll have to carry you which means that I’ll have fewer hands to grab the treasure or fight anyone off. Could be a problem. Make sure you’re drinking water too. Can’t have you being dehydrated, Betty will murder me.”
I chuckled quietly, dropping the now much lighter bottle of suncream on the low table between our two chairs and picking up my bottle of water, downing half of it in one go. I sat back down, grabbing the large floppy hat I’d discarded on the table before I’d fallen asleep and putting it back on my head as I surveyed the pool area.
It was huge and surprisingly quiet. I’d definitely seen some kids around the hotel before but there weren’t any at this pool. They must have been using the children's pool, I realised. Mitch had said that there was one.
There was barely anyone in this pool. Just one guy teaching a couple of people how to use the scuba tanks and a couple of older people swimming lengths. I watched them for a moment, debating joining them in the pool.
I did like swimming. There was a pool pretty close to my house so I went quite often. It was easier when we went to visit my grandparents though. One of the best things about their place was the fact they had an indoor pool. It was old-fashioned and not very big but they still had someone come in every so often to make sure it had all the chemicals and everything in it.
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“Grace!” a sharp voice called, cutting through my fantasy.
I blinked, staring down at the pile of clothes I’d been folding without paying any attention to them.
“Yes, Mom?” I replied.
“Did you see the new swimming costumes I got you?” she asked, popping her head into my room.
“Oh, yeah. Thanks for that.”
“Good. It’s fine if you want to pack some of your usual ones for once Mom and Dad leave but you can’t wear any bikinis whilst they’re there,” she told me. “I will not have a repeat of last time.”
I nodded, trying not to wince.
I’d made a mistake last time. I had worn a bikini swimming. I didn’t even think either of my grandparents had seen me walk from my room to the pool in it but my mom had sat me down afterwards and told me how inappropriate they’d both said it was for me to wear something so skimpy.
It wasn’t skimpy though. It was just a normal black bikini.
Apparently, it made me look cheap. My grandmother had made a comment that evening about the lowering of standards for women these days and I knew it was directed at me.
I’d binned the bikini that night. It wasn’t worth it.
I was one of her favourite things to say about me and all of her other grandkids. Everything we did was a reflection of how poorly we’d been brought up and how much things had slipped since the good old days when she was a kid.
I nodded.
“Thanks.”
Mom smiled at me, seemingly happy that I’d just accepted her decision instead of trying to fight against it.
“Good. They mean well, Grace. They’re just old and stuck in their ways,” she said with a smile that made me feel a little guilty.
I nodded.
“I know. I’ve already packed the costumes.”
“Great! Did you make sure to pack some nice dresses for when we go out for dinner?” she asked.
“Yeah, I think I’ve got a few.”
“And they’re not too short? Or low cut?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, good. And you’ve got tights? And appropriate shoes?”
I suppressed a sigh.
“Got them.”
“Alright. I’ll leave you to pack. Your father should be home soon,” she said, barely hiding her disgust. “Make sure you say goodbye to him tonight. He probably won’t bother getting up in the morning before we go.”
“I will,” I said despite the fact he did always get up before we left for Scotland.
He had every year since he stopped coming with us.
Mom nodded once before turning and stalking out of the room.
I sighed and looked down at the pile of clothes before me.
I blinked, leaving my packing behind and opened my eyes in Crete again. I was still looking at the pool and debating going in it but now, dizziness and self-consciousness washed through me. The bikini I was wearing was definitely what I would count as skimpy. If either of my grandparents saw me in it, they’d probably have a heart attack.
But, I didn’t think I looked bad. I mean, it still wasn’t as skimpy as most of the other bikinis people around the pool were wearing so surely it was fine. I didn’t look particularly good, that was for sure. I didn’t have a good body, just an average one. No one really would look at me twice.
Apart from one person. There was someone who was shooting me surreptitious glances.
I looked down away from him immediately, staring at the phone I was holding. Mitch had bought it for me when we’d stopped to refuel, along with a smartwatch, laptop and an iPad that I wasn’t quite comfortable using yet. Apparently, they would make homeschooling and treasure hunting much easier but I was scared to even turn them on.
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What if I broke them? He’d said that I probably wouldn’t and even if I did, it didn’t matter as long as I was careful enough with them and it was an honest mistake but I was still worried. I really didn’t want to break them and for him to be disappointed in me.
I mean, I was wearing the watch. Mitch had insisted. He’d assured me it was waterproof and surprisingly hard to break. Plus, he said it was necessary because, in case anything happened and we were separated, he would still be able to contact me.
I blinked and tried to focus on the phone again. I was meant to be reading some stuff for my homeschooling, which I was doing before I’d fallen asleep, and not looking at the surprisingly cute boy who was definitely checking me out.
It was the boy from the foyer before, I was pretty certain of it. His hair was slicked back from the water which also had the sharp angles of his face look much sharper. He looked so hot.
And, he looked to be about my age so surely I could go talk to him. I mean, it wouldn’t be a problem, right? I wasn’t Grace, I was pretending to be Alice who definitely would have gone to talk to the cute boy who was checking her out.
But, would Mitch be okay with that?
It felt wrong, I couldn’t exactly go flirt with a boy in front of him. I mean, I didn’t even know how to flirt with a boy but, with Mitch nearby, it would be a hundred times worse. It would be like flirting in front of my dad, I’d never be able to do that.
“You alright there, kid?”
I blinked, looking up at Mitch guiltily.
“Oh no. What are you up to?” he asked with an amused grin. “I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re not just really absorbed in that chapter of whatever it is you’re reading.”
I felt my face flush bright red.
“I mean, it is a pretty interesting chapter…” I tried to say but it came out weakly.
It was an obvious lie.
“But not as interesting as that boy in the pool? Wasn’t he in the lobby yesterday?”
My face turned even redder, if that was even possible.
I couldn’t bring myself to speak as embarrassment wracked me.
“Well, Alice would probably go over there and talk to him,” Mitch said, pretending to look back at the book in his hands.
I glanced at him.
“Shouldn’t I stay here with you? In case something happens?” I asked.
“Eh, we’re good for now and I’ll shout if anything does go down. Alice wouldn’t sit around with her dad all day, she’d go speak to that model-looking boy.”
I hesitated, not quite sure what to say.
“You aren’t the first kid I’ve looked after. Same rules apply to you as they did to the ones before. Don’t do anything dumb or break the law in any traceable way, if you do want to… get to know someone a little better, use protection because sexual health clinics can be hard to find in foreign countries and I don’t think either of us want to be dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. Shout if you need help at all, no questions asked. Take your phone with you if you’re going out of sight of me and keep your watch on at all times, okay?”
I nodded quickly, wanting to get away from this conversation as quickly as possible.
The idea of talking to Mitch about sex or anything like that was horrifying. I’d never so much as kissed a boy but now he was talking about making sure I used protection and sexual health clinics. It made me want to run away and hide.
Like, I guess I was glad that he was being so open and accepting of it but… it was embarrassing as hell.
“Okay,” I muttered. “I’m going to go swim.”
“Good call, kid. You go swim,” he snickered, seeing straight through my lie.
My face burnt as I sat up and dropped my hat and sunglasses on the lounger before standing and walking towards the pool where the boy was still swimming.
I tried not to watch him out of the corner of my eye as I climbed into the pool, gasping slightly at how unexpectedly cold the water was.
It was pretty nice, once I got used to it, and it felt wonderful against my skin as I started swimming lengths of the pool, pretending not to notice the boy’s glances.
I wasn’t sure how to approach him. I mean, that wasn’t what I did. I didn’t approach boys ever. But, Alice would have. It was much more her style to swim straight up to the boy and start talking to him even though that idea made me want to cringe.
I mean, I could at least start by shooting him a smile instead of keeping my eyes fixed on the water in front of me whenever we were swimming towards each other. He was swimming next to me so it made sense that I’d at least look at him, right?
Yes. That was how I was going to start it. I was going to smile at him and then just… play it by ear.
My heart thudded in my chest as I reached the end of the pool and turned slowly, facing back towards Mitch again. He was already swimming towards me, his eyes bouncing between the water in front of him and my face. I could do it. I could smile.
I felt my lips tick up into a slight smile as he approached, not taking my eyes off his face until something else stole my attention.
Someone was approaching Mitch. Some woman, in a white bikini which showed off their perfect tan, was slinking towards him. My body tensed and I started swimming towards him a little quicker, just in case.
If they were one of Sterling’s people, we could be in trouble.
I reached the end of the pool, just within hearing distance as the woman reached him.
“Is this seat taken?” the woman asked in a low, sultry voice.
I hesitated, resting my arms on the edge of the pool and pretending to catch my breath whilst subtly watching them.
“My kid was sitting there but she’s wandered off somewhere,” Mitch said, putting his book down and smiling at the woman.
“Well, I’m glad she did.”
They were flirting, I realised with a start before turning and kicking away from the pool.
I didn’t want to see that, it felt wrong. As much as I didn’t want Mitch to see me flirting, I also didn’t want to see him flirting. He was free to, of course, I just did not want to see it.
I sent the boy another smile as we passed each other and hesitated as I reached the other end of the pool. I didn’t want to go back down the other end, not when the woman was still sitting on my chair and leaning towards Mitch like that. I wanted to give them some privacy.
Glancing back at them, I made my decision and swam to the edge of the pool, staying in the deeper end. I rested there for a moment, debating moving into the other pool to give him some more privacy.
It wasn’t far. For some reason, there was another pool just overlooking the one I was in at the moment but it was far enough away that I’d be out of earshot of whatever he and that woman were saying and he wouldn’t be able to hear me. I’d seen some people swimming in it earlier so it didn’t feel too weird.
I paddled over to the nearest ladder, making sure to give the two people who were still in the middle of a diving lesson a wide berth.
Climbing the steps slowly, I shot Mitch a glance, which he returned, to let him know I was going before my eyes found the boy who was swimming still. His gaze met mine and I smiled slightly before cocking my head towards the other pool.
It felt so unnatural and weird but his smile grew and he started swimming towards me.
I looked away before he could see my grin, and walked towards the other pool. I wasn’t sure whether I should wait for him or look back but I realised that Alice wouldn’t have done either. She would have just expected him to follow her, which I was pretty sure he was.
I climbed the steps towards the other pool and walked across the wooden bridge, glancing down at Mitch and smiling when I realised he was still watching me. I climbed into the pool on the other side of the bridge, breathing out a sigh of relief as the cool water embraced my sun-baked body. I’d only been out of the water for moments but it was enough to make me long for the cold again.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the boy walking across the bridge, pretending not to be watching me. I grinned and waded a little further into the water.
It was much more shallow than I’d expected. I really should have paid more attention to how deep it was before otherwise, I wouldn’t have gone up there. It had been kids I’d seen in that pool before and they’d been swimming so it looked deeper.
I wouldn’t be able to swim but I could definitely sit in it and look out towards Spinalonga.
I was glad about that though. I’d be able to keep a bit of an eye on Mitch in case anything happened and he could probably still see me but we couldn’t hear each other. I had my smart watch still on anyway so he’d be able to message me if he needed to.
I leaned back against the wall, letting the cool water lap at my chest and sighed happily.
“Hey,” a slightly awkward voice said.
I looked up at the boy, letting a smile come over my face.
“Hey,” I answered before looking back out over the beach and ocean.
“So, urm, come here often?” he asked, sitting down next to me.
“First time. You?”
“Nah, I’ve been here a couple of times,” he said in a distinctly British accent.
He sounded posh, exactly the type of person I expected to be at this hotel.
“Nice.”
Awkwardness hung in the air between us but I wasn’t really sure how to break it.
“You here with your family?” he asked after a moment.
“With my dad,” I said, trying to inject some annoyance into the word ‘dad’. “He’s down there flirting with some woman.”
“Ah,” the boy said.
“Yeah. You here with your family?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation going.
“Kind of. Just with my older sister and Mom.”
I nodded, aware that he was looking at me but not sure what to say. I knew that if I looked at him I would end up blushing, which didn’t feel right.
“So, where are you from?” he asked.
“England, you?”
“Oh, me too! I’m from Winchester, where abouts do you live?”
“London,” I said after a moment of trying to think of a posh place I could pretend I lived.
“Nice. Oh, shit, I realised I didn’t tell you my name. I’m Christian.”
He looked at me expectantly.
“Oh, I’m Alice,” I said, silently celebrating the fact that I’d used the right name.
“Nice to meet you, Alice,” he said, holding out his hand for me to shake.
I took it, feeling his warm, big hand envelop mine and smiling up into his dark brown eyes.
“It’s nice to meet you, Christian,” I said, trying to sound at least a little bit seductive.
His full lips slowly ticked up into a very attractive smile.
“How much longer are you here for?” he asked.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mitch climbing the steps, holding my hat and sunglasses.
“Another week or so, I think,” I said blithely.
Christian’s smile widened.
“Good. Hopefully I’ll see you around here more.”
“Alice,” Mitch called from the edge of the pool. “Are you ready for lunch?”
I let me gaze linger on Christian for a little longer before saying, “You will.”
I stood, wading through the shallow water towards Mitch as I tried to ignore the sensation of Christian’s gaze on my body.
It felt so weird, so different. I wasn’t used to being that person, someone who would flirt so freely or who guys wanted to talk to or look at
“Sure,” I said to Mitch, fighting the urge to look back at Christian. “I’m starving.”
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Sometimes my voice dies in my throat, buries itself beneath waves of crippling suffocation, burns itself out as cold hands tear at my laced skin. I have smiled while my eyes have cried and pleaded, my wrists numb, my lips wobbling and blue, and stars escaping this dark night that I'm trapped in. I long for a darkness that gives way to light. But I do feel the warmth of petals gathering and scattering in my cold bones, and imagine the touch and the sweetness of a kiss, and my heart rises to the surface of this sea and finds a sky painted by passing artists remaining far above our heads. I'm breathing out all the words I've kept locked under the pages of my breaking mind. And by doing so, I'm going to heal.TRIGGER WARNINGS: depression, anxiety, self harm, suicidal thoughts, OCD, panic attacks
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