《Winds》Friday

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Paul searched everywhere. He went knocking on doors all around the apartment, asking if anyone had seen a dark-haired young lady named Lilian. When no one could be of any help, he tried the places he figured she’d been. Even Ms. Cora’s Home. But it all proved inconclusive. Paul felt more guilt than ever for the way their conversation went; for not telling her he loved her; for not going after her when she left. But it was guilt that kept him from doing even that.

“You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Paul only nodded at the voice behind him. Slowly, he turned around. “For what exactly?”

“It’s a twisted thing you're doing to her by sticking around.”

“I can’t leave her.”

“You’ve done your job. It’s time you move on and think about your career.”

“How can I?” Paul asked earnestly. “I betrayed the only man who ever showed me kindness. He was like a father to me. And I loved and respected him as such.”

“That’s just too bad.”

“Why did you make me do it!” Paul clenched his fists into balls.

“What is this? Are you challenging me?” Girgum came closer, his voice remained eerily calm. “You would dare to challenge me?”

Paul’s fists trembled as he approached. He reached in his inner coat pocket and threw down the pin engraved with a firy wreath. “I don’t want this. I don’t care about your promises anymore. I just want to be free.”

Girgum stared in eerie silence, then chortled. Then backhanded him, knocking Paul into the brick of some building. “You thought you had a choice?! Let’s not forget I have blood rights to you! And what about your actual parents? You want them to pay for your mistakes? Hm?”

Paul licked his busted lip. It tasted like ash and iron. He kept his head on the wall and whimpered. “I... I...”

“You what?”

“I thought I could save him. I thought El would let me.”

Girgum brought his face close to Paul’s, “Like a fool you did. I told you. But this is not the only time you have made things harder for me. You brought the girl here. Here of all places.” He violently snatched the back of Paul’s neck. Paul bit his tongue in fear. “You know who else is here? Of course, you don’t, fool. Her sister is here!”

Paul squinted, helplessly, “What do you mean? Lilian doesn’t have a sister.”

He jerked Paul away. “Say goodbye to the girl, and leave by the end of this week. I don’t want you around her any longer.”

Tessaline heard him crack open the door. She hid her face under the sheets as he came into the room. His bare feet made sifting sounds on the floor. Jase hovered by her side, leaning towards her face.

“I know you’re awake. Look at me.”

Tess pulled down her sheet. She put her hand inside Jase’s and stared somberly into his tender eyes, “Jase, I’m sorry. I really am.”

“No. I am,” He smoothed a hand down her face, then over her white hair. “I shouldn’t have kept it a secret. But you did make it easy for me to.”

Tess lowered her head in agreement, “Yeah. Maybe I should read the papers more. To keep you in check.”

Jase chuckled lightly. “Have you told her?”

Tess twisted her back to stare at Lilian. Silent was the pretty girl who dozed beside her. She placed the back of her hand on Lilian’s braid. “Not yet. And I don’t intend to just yet. Please don’t say anything to her about it.”

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“I won’t. But you shouldn’t take too long. She deserves to know.”

Tess continued to pet Lilian’s hair. She watched as the girl slowly breathed in her deep sleep though the faithful sun’s light had already reached the room. A mona-like grin on her face, displaying internal content or joy, one of the two. Odd, considering she was moaning all night as if she had a bad dream. This girl, though Tess was afraid to admit, was warming her way into Tessaline’s heart. Something about the way her eyes held the most genuine concern for Tess seemed promising. But she knew that it could all be false.

She wondered if Lilian was ready for such information. How would she take it? Would she deny that Tess was her sister and be repulsed by the idea like every other Truit? Or was she truly different? One thing was for sure, Tess would only get to know her, the real her, by approaching the matter with caution.

During breakfast, Tess and Jase were acting suspiciously lively with each other. Lilian was surprised to see him behind her as she stirred the pot on the stove. His hands, resting on Tess’s hips. Her, giggling away as he whispered something to her. Were they not just blowing each other’s ears off last night? Curious. Lilian let herself study his hands. Those beautiful hands that were made by El to fight and fist, and yet they were also made to hold the most delicate of things. Small things. Like Tess. Without any graspable reason, Lilian felt her own waist. Was she delicate and small?

As Lilian watched, she couldn’t help but feel jealous. Their relationship was wild, broken, irrational, and frankly, toxic, but a relationship nonetheless. What did she and Paul have?

As Tess and Jase settled into their seats to eat, Tess let Lilian know that she would gladly take her home to the apartment afterward.

“Alright. Thank you.” Lilian frowned.

“What’s the matter?”

“Well… You weren’t the only ones who experienced some dissension last night.”

“What?”

“Paul and I. We left off on a bad note.”

“Who’s fault was it?” Jase mused as he sucked his teeth, slumping to one side where he rested his arm on the table.

“No one’s. He just told me– never mind. I just know I should have stayed.”

“You and Paul- are ya’ll together?” Jase asked.

Tess pinched his shoulder. He did not even flinch.

Lilian giggled. “That is a good question. My aunt says we are.”

Jase gave a long “mmm” before slowly nodding. He picked up his spoon and bit himself a nice helping of cereal. Lilian tried not to laugh at the way he ate. It was like he was in love with the boring staple food. His complete focus was on the bowl before him. His body hunched over it. The ownership he involuntarily displayed over mere breakfast was oddly intriguing. For a moment she let her eyes linger on his mouth as it drew from the spoon.

“Your aunt. Aunt Krishta,” Tess breathed.

Lilian’s eyes flickered.

“Sorry, I mean,” Tess recanted, “Krishta Truit, right?”

“Right,” answered Lilian.

“I hope you don’t mind my askin’, but what all do you know about your father?”

Lilian paused while holding a spoonful up to her mouth. “My father? I’m told he was a hero. An exceptional doctor. I was told he saved many lives from diseases as terrible as scarlet fever.”

“Do you know how he died?”

Lilian frowned, “No, actually.” She allowed the sudden change in topic. “It never really crossed my mind. I know that sounds silly. My uncle had always been the closest thing I’d ever had to a father, so I suppose I spent more time worrying over him.”

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“You mean you never once wondered?”

“It’s not that I have not wondered once or twice. I am sure I have. I just never asked. But what about your father, if you don’t mind me asking. What was he like?”

Tess frowned, “Nothing like yours, I’m afraid. He was no hero to me. Only someone who got himself into a fine fix with another woman and broke my mother’s heart.” She clenched her spoon handle, “I haven’t seen him since.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Lilian pressed a hand on her heart.

Tess stared into Lilian’s eyes in silence. Her face held no distinct expression. “You are, huh?” The corner of her mouth twitched.

“Is everything alright, Tess? Tess?”

Jase laid a hand on her shoulder, “Tess?”

Tessaline blinked, “Uh, yes. I’m fine.”

“You know, I think this is something we all have in common,” Jase said, taking over the conversation, “I mean, none of our parents really contributed anything to our lives. They were either drunk, or gone, or dead. Right, Miss Lilian?”

Lilian nodded, still unsure why Jase continued to call her by her title, “I suppose.”

“Jase, what’s the point of you saying that?” Tess asked in annoyance.

“Well, I was just thinking. Maybe that’s all there is to it. Maybe if our parents actually took care of us, I’d be less violent, You’d be less of a skeptic, and…”

“And what? What do you say for her? That she’d be less rich? Your logic fails, Jase.”

Jase blushed, feeling stupid. Suddenly, everyone stopped talking. Tessaline’s last words were full of irritated air.

“Well, The truth is you're both right in a way,” Lilian muttered.

“If you’re going to speak, speak up,” Tess censured. She was starting to act like angry Tess again.

Lilian dropped her spoon back in the bowl, “I am a rich orphan, to be frank. But I didn’t need my father since I had a willing Uncle. Without him, I would not have broken certain behaviors. But even with him, I needed more than that. I needed something, or rather someone to believe in.”

“Li’l lady,” Tess threatened, holding out her spoon, “If you bring up Shersul, I am leaving this room.”

“I am only trying to say that though the severity of your life and mine are different, I am not in any way better than you.”

“You lie,” Tess chuckled. “You lie so terribly.”

Lilian became infuriated, “You know, I am beginning to dislike you more. You have no understanding of who I am.”

“I understand plenty. More than you know. I know exactly what your kind are like.”

“My kind? What do you take me for, Tess? Some snooty brat? Is that how I’ve presented myself to you?”

“That’s just it. I’m not sure if I can trust you however you present yourself.”

Jase, who was at first silent, was now compelled to put an end to this altercation, “Girls, please!”

Tess ignored him, “So you aren’t prejudiced against me, Lilian?”

“No.”

“But I can see it in your eyes.”

“Hey, lay off, Tess!” Jase said, getting frustrated.

“Lay off?” she shouted back.

“Yes. Why are you all of a sudden challenging Lilian?”

“I am not challenging her. I just want to know how she sees me.”

“Then say what you really want to say to her. But don’t do this. Let’s not have last night all over again. I don’t want that.”

Tess gestured at the door, “You can leave if it’s too much for you.”

Jase paused in appalment. He huffed, shook his head, and got up from his chair, “That’s it, I’m goin’ out to shoot something.”

“Or maybe chop something? Like firewood?” Tess pesteringly suggested.

Jase stopped momentarily, tensing his shoulders and clenching his fist, then proceeded to the door without another word. When he opened the door, a distressed-looking young man stood before him.

“Have you seen Lilian? Oh, please tell me she’s here.”

Jase cocked his chin up, “She’s here.”

Paul entered the threshold with an immediate apology, holding in one hand a bouquet of fresh roses.

“Paul, I don’t want to hear it. Okay? Let’s move on. Did you sleep well last night?”

Paul looked at her as if she were crazy, “Not at all.”

“Oh... I see.” She did see. His face looked worn. His eyes were baggy and red, his lip was somehow busted. What had he been doing? Had he really fretted for her? “Well, I want you to know that I was safe. Can we move on now?” Lilian was too exhausted from constant arguing to start again with Paul.

Paul could have pressed more with details on how he was utterly distraught for the entire morning, flipping over stones only to find her enjoying a nice meal, but decided to let it go. “Lilian.” He stepped forward slowly, clutching the bouquet to his chest, “If you would do me the honor of being my company at Etowah Lake-”

“That lake is surely frozen over. As are many things,” Lilian mumbled.

“Well, I know that,” Paul scoffed.

“Paul, why? Why? I wanted to go sightseeing earlier, and you said no. You said no, remember? Besides, it’s cold, right? It’ll be cold all winter, so I guess in that respect, I should never go outside.”

“Lil.”

“My answer is no.”

“Lil, why are you being so disagreeable?”

She remained quiet, not even bothering to look at him. Jase and Tess spectated in amusement at their comparatively benign dispute.

“Oh, come on, Lil. Don’t be such a stiff.”

Lilian struck him with a wide-eyed look of offense. “Call me stiff, again! Go on!”

Tess jumped in surprise at Lilian’s sudden volume. Jase stifled a laugh.

“Perhaps I am tired,” Lilian continued. “Perhaps I am hurt. Suppose I’m fighting every doubt Girgum brings to me while waiting for your mood to change. Suppose I saw someone die last night.”

“Pardon?”

“Ugh!” Lilian covered her face and shook her head.

Paul took the seat next to hers, setting the flowers down on the table. He placed his hand gently on her arm. “Lil. Lil,” he repeated in a whisper. “If I have truly been the cause for all your stress, forgive me.”

She turned to him. “You are not the cause. You just have not been the solution.”

“Perhaps you’re right.” Paul cupped her hand in his two. “I have been calculating everything since we’ve been here. I’ve been so occupied with my own intrigue. Shame on me for not even thanking you for the trip you made yesterday for me. But if you allow me this one chance of redemption, I would like to take you out by the lake. We can talk there. Consider it a date.”

Lilian’s ears perked. “A date?” She sniffed.

“Yes. Lilian Truit, may I court you today?”

It was a short walk to Etowah Lake. The bridge was visible far off, stretching across all the way to a littoral opening into the town. They could see other people there, too. Some testing the water. But it was clear to Lilian that the icy platform was not opaque enough to be skate-worthy. Even the fish continued to make motional shadows under the ice.

There was a stillness to things. A calm forced upon the land. Not a bird in sight. A slow cool wind mellowed, buzzing Lilian’s cheeks to blush. The nature was not as kempt as that of her home, but even still, in this doldrum atmosphere lurked the familiar shadow of her halcyon days. The days when she used to hang upside down from trees. Or cannonball in the river. Before she and Paul grew into young adults. Before she learned to be a lady.

She took out a warm slice of bread from the basket Tessaline packed for them and ate it. A glass of cranberry juice- since Tess was purposely bereft of any alcoholic beverage- was all she had to wash it down. Her heart waited in anticipation and curiosity. She could not believe the word “court” truly left Paul’s mouth. But for some reason, he did not seem as excited as her. Why did he bring her here?

Lilian released a tranquil breath into the frigid air. “Do you miss this?”

“What?”

“Being outdoors together. Enjoying the morning without a care for the world.”

“You mean our childhood,” Paul suggested.

“Well, perhaps I do. There was freedom in it, was there not?”

“Yes, I suppose. A different kind of freedom.” He was quiet for a while before looking her way, “You were once free from thought. And now you are free to think.” He tapped her temple.

“Must you always be the sage?” She nudged him with her shoulder.

Paul smiled, “I do miss the old Lilian. The one that taught me how to trust, and how to hope, and how to imagine.”

“That Lilian hasn’t gone. But things are different now. And I cannot be the only light shining for us both. Sometimes, I am uncertain of things.”

“I know. You do well to push through it. And I should do my best to shine for you,” he frowned, “though mine is a ruddy glow.”

“I don’t believe that.” Lilian rested her hand on his arm, “I believe you have plenty of faith inside you. You simply choose not to use it.”

Paul looked downward, considering what she was saying. “Well, I believe you have more audacity in you than you choose to exert.”

“Do not.”

“Yes, you do. I saw it in you that day when you yelled at your Aunt What’s-Her-Name.”

Lilian giggled, “Barbra, I think.”

“Right. And I was so proud to see it. You do what you think is right. Sometimes I can’t stop you.”

Lilian looked downward, “I can be tamed.”

Paul reached for her chin, warming it kindly. He focused on her intently. “I am afeared you would be if someone tried. And I’d hate to see it.”

Lilian smirked in disbelief, “Paul Partridge? Afraid?”

He closed his eyes and nodded. “I am afraid of many things.”

“Pray tell. Like what exactly?”

“Like seeing you unhappy for the rest of your life.”

“And how would you prevent that? Paul?”

Paul wouldn’t answer. He kept a steady gaze with her. A serious, subtly mournful gaze, it was. Through the glinting of his stormy blues, it was obvious how he felt for her. The ardor that resided in his heart. Lilian could have looked away. She should have. Of course, she didn’t. She allowed herself to become lost in the blue. To see no further than his thick brows. Mesmerized, she was, until her vision blurred and her eyes shut. She felt the shadow of his face, the touch of his nose. With a raised hand, she felt the beating of his heart. Warmth radiated from his chest through her palm and down to her core. Please, she thought. Please.

“I can’t.”

Lilian’s eyes flickered open.

Paul was shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t taint you so.”

“Taint me?”

“Lilian... I have to leave tomorrow. I have decided to take the offer and attend HU.”

Lilian nodded before she could think. “Of course, of course. I’ll go with you.”

“No. You can’t.”

“What?”

“I don’t know how to tell you this. I have to go alone.”

Had Lilian missed something? Why was he telling her to stay? “Are you punishing me?”

“No. No. Absolutely not.”

“First you wanted me to go back with you. I am saying I will, and now you don’t. Why?”

Paul kept his mouth shut, wondering what to say.

“What about me? What will I do without you, Paul?”

“You’ll be fine. I believe it. You won’t need me. Look, we do not agree on most things, Lil. More than I realized.”

“So this is about Shersul. You are punishing me.”

“No, I am just saying that… I cannot better you. Okay? And you cannot better me.”

“Why would you say that? Why would you dare say that?” She turned her head away, blinking rapidly. “What happened to taking care of me? Does my uncle’s wish mean nothing to you?”

Paul frowned, “Your uncle… made a mistake. Lil, I am not who you think I am. I have done things... I am not proud of.”

“Paul, tell me you are kidding. Don’t talk like this. I have known you since you were twelve, what could you possibly have done before then?”

“It wasn’t before then, Lilian.”

Lilian would not hear it. “Why are you doing this to me? What have I done?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

“No!” She slapped his chest, “I won’t take that for an answer.”

“Lilian, please. Please don’t cry.”

He stood up and reached for her hand. She refused it and got up on her own. Dusting herself off, she started walking away from him.

“Lilian.” He followed behind her.

“I am such a fool.”

“No, you’re not,” he clasped her wrist, halting her. She bent away from him so he faced her back. “You do not understand. I don’t have a choice.”

“I told you to stay in Hiplum. That was my initial plan. But you told me nothing could keep you from me. That is what you said. Paul… I am not safe on my own. It’s obvious who holds the power in this relationship. You have a choice. You do. And if you do not choose me…” her voice wobbled, she swallowed, “no one else will. It’s cruel to have me wait like this. It’s just plain cruel.” Lilian wriggled her wrist free and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You were the only one I ever wanted.” Then she fled from him, trying hard to escape his shadow, the feeling of his fingers at her neck, the moments when he was all she had. He’d rejected her. And now all she could hear were the words of the blind boy: “Shersul told me to tell you to give it up.”

Lilian ran so fast, she did not even see what passed her. She didn’t care. Her vision was so blurred from tears, and she could not have cared less if the whole forest heard her sobbing. As she advanced, suddenly, an abrupt, strong grip caught her at both arms.

“Miss Lilian! What’s wrong? What’s the matter?”

Lilian opened her eyes. Hovering over her was a freckled face full of concern. His strong neck, tense. Behind him was an axe cleaved into a stump, and a pile of log halves beside it as if he had been chopping wood. As Jase continued to stare at her and her vision cleared, she noticed every pore, every short hair that lined his jaw. Though his large leather hat hid the glory of his vermilion curls, he was undeniably handsome. She was speechless, looking into his eyes.

“Are you alright?” he shook her. “Where is Paul?”

She immediately pushed away from him, running into the house. “Tess!” she called desperately. “Tessaline!”

Tessaline was currently the last person Lilian would have wanted to confide in. But she was the only other woman around. Only, it seemed she was not around at the moment. “Tess!” she called again, walking from room to room. No one answered. Then, relenting, Lilian sat on the floor of the hallway, “Aunt Krishta.” She spoke the name of the person she really wished she could talk to. The one person who would know what to say to console her after a heartbreak.

In silence, she cried. In silence, she sobbed. Hopeful that any of it was heard, that El was listening. Was all of this in vain? Was it His plan? And if so, why? Lilian couldn’t understand how it could ever be a good thing to be without Paul. Wasn’t Paul the friend Shersul sent her? Or perhaps that was all he was meant to be.

She tried. She tried to understand and let him go. But as she contemplated more, her heart only pulled closer to him. And it tore between will and rejection. She scolded herself for becoming so attached to Paul. It was now that she realized just how attached she was. She gave out a strangled cry. Why? was all she could think. Why, why, why?

But crying stopped instantly when she heard the front door swing open. Heavy steps could be heard. Jase.

“Please. Leave,” Lilian shouted to him.

“Just comin’ in for a glass o’ water.”

Lilian buried her face in her arms, listening silently to the sounds Jase was making in the kitchen. Creaking open the cupboard, stepping, stepping, running water, setting down a glass, stepping… he was coming to her. She looked up frightfully when he came through the hallway opening.

“Figured you were thirsty, too,” he said, coming nearer with a full glass in his hand. He crouched in front of her holding out the cup. A brotherly smile, across his face. She didn’t return it. She wanted him gone, but after running as fast as she had, the water did look tempting.

“Where is Tess?” Lilian sniffed.

“Out, running some errands.”

“Would she be okay with me using her glass? She didn’t even put it out for us when we first came here.”

“Her glass?” Jase said, offended. He shook his head, “Drink.”

Lilian took it and did so. Slowly, she sipped with him watching her all the while. She kept her eyes on the bottom of the cup. When she was done, she set it down beside her with a shaky breath. Jase was sitting himself down with his back against the wall across from her. His long, muscular legs, crossed with his feet touching the wall at her side. His fingers, fit together in his lap.

“Excuse me. I want to be alone,” said Lilian.

Jase let out a breath through his nose. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t lie.”

“It’s not a lie. Please go.”

In prompt obedience, he stood up. Disappointment, plain on his face as he stepped away. Lilian immediately felt a pang of guilt.

“Wait.”

He turned to look at her and waved a yielding hand, “Look, I understand if you don’t want company. I’m used to being kicked out my own home.”

Lilian looked down then back at him, “Forgive me. I would like some company. Please…” She patted the floor.

He concededly went back to sitting in his previous position across from her. His smell, filling up the area with woody aromas and a hint of sweat. He waited for her to make any utterance, taking off his hat and setting it in his lap. She stared up at the ceiling, quietly noticing the dust and dirt collecting up there. Gracie would have a fit. When she finally lowered her gaze to Jase, all emotion had calmed inside her.

“Jase. Do you truly love Tess?”

“Yes.” His answer was sure and firm.

“I believe it,” she sighed.

“Let me guess,” Jase said. “You asked Paul if he loved you.”

Lilian shook her head. “After six years, I shouldn’t have to ask. It should be so clear.” The emotion was rising in her again as she thought about Paul’s face. “Jase… He’s going to leave me,” she let out a short weep. “He’s going to leave me.”

Jase placed a firm hand on her knee, which seemed to be all the consolation she needed. “It’ll be alright, sweetheart. If he doesn’t come around by tomorrow, then what you’re dealing with is nothing but a coward.”

“But he’s perfect. He’s everything.”

Jase smirked kindly, “To you. Are you everything to him?”

Jase’s words challenged her heart. She dared to ponder on them. Paul did spend a great deal of his time studying instead of being with her. And ultimately chose his career over her. But… no. That was not the Paul she knew.

“You don’t know Paul. I know he loves me. He- he is just too scared to say it.”

“Well, I know this. It doesn’t take six years to tell a woman- and a beautiful one at that- that you’re in love with her.”

Lilian felt her stomach flutter. “Beautiful?”

He looked upon her tenderly, “Yeah, sure. I think anyone with eyes could see it. Oh, don’t pretend you don’t get that a lot.”

Lilian shook her head.

“What? Paul?” Jase suggested, furrowing his red brows.

Lilian frowned, “It was never exactly a trait he pointed out.”

Jase sighed a short sigh that was half piteous and half displeased. “Then he missed the best one, Miss Lilian.”

Lilian’s eyes flicked up at him curiously. She then took out her pocket handkerchief and blotted her eyes and nose. “Jase, you are, I assume, twenty-four years old? And you don’t work for my uncle anymore. You do not have to call me ‘Miss’.”

“Then what do you want me to call you?”

“I think ‘Lilian’ is just fine.”

“What about ‘Lil’?”

She frowned, “No one calls me ‘Lil’ except-”

“Paul.” He nodded as he understood. “Does Paul have a reason for leaving?”

“Staying would hurt his career. Which I understand. But when I offered to go, he refused me.”

Jase reacted with a jerk of the neck, “What’s the point o’ that?”

“I don’t know.”

Jase looked very confused, “Tell me again why you love him.”

“Isn’t it obvious? He’s smart, and confident, and caring, and–”

“Dark and rich.”

Lilian frowned, “Jase, it’s not like that.”

“It isn’t? I mean, I heard that’s the rule with you Truits– never marry towheads, right? I heard ya’ll like to keep the dominant trait. And I’m sure money plays a part, too.”

Lilian squinted in offense, “I know full well of those rules. And I never understood them. So to assume that they were the defining factors of my love for Paul is extremely insensitive.”

Something changed in Jase’s expression. Like a realization of something, “Oh, I- I’m sorry. That was insensitive, wasn’t it?”

Lilian turned her head toward the kitchen, “Why am I talking about this with you, anyway? I shouldn’t bother another man with my relationship issues.”

“Talking’s essential, sweetheart. That’s how I make friends.”

“It isn’t proper.”

“You wanna know what isn’t proper? Bringing a lady out in the cold, only to drop her hot.” He lifted his hand from his lap and leaned forward. Lilian watched as two fingers landed on her heart, measurable pressure applied. Unsure how to react, she remained stiff. “Don’t think I don’t understand. I do. What you’re feeling in here. That pain. I know it. I know it well.” He spoke in a breathy whisper.

Lilian gazed at him. The air became more solemn between them. But Lilian couldn’t allow it. She knew how this looked. She dropped her gaze to Jase’s fingers. He caught her unease and dropped them from her chest. She opened her mouth but closed it at once.

“What is it?”

Lilian bit her lip, “I have spoken my mind once before, and it did not go so well.”

“Please. Speak.”

“Why are you still with Tess? I don’t like the way she treats you or anyone for that matter. I mean, you have your issues. But I can tell you are loyal to her. And, honestly… I admire you for it.”

“Thank you,” he said. “And you’re right. You’re right.” He let out a huff, “I guess I just feel like, if I don’t stand by her, no one will. She needs me. And I need her. She’s all I have. Plus, she feeds me and cares for me. And believe it or not, she used to be a ray o’ sunshine.” He smiled, his eyes lighting up in remembrance. “I see it every now and then. Somethin’s hurt her, and I can’t fix that. But Tess deserves love just as much as anyone.”

Lilian let his words sit with her. If only she had such solidarity with Paul. Like she thought she did. Lilian could tell that every word Jase uttered came with defensive love. He would lift Tess up on the highest pedestal she could merit. It almost made her smile to see it. “What about redamancy?”

Jase looked confused, “Redamancy? Who’s that?”

“It means being loved in return.”

Suddenly a bright smile covered his face. “You know, you really strike me as a very ‘cute girl. A wise girl.”

Lilian nodded shyly.

“Let go of dumb men, wise-girl.”

Her heart protested, but her mouth remained shut. How quizzically bold he was! All of a sudden his eyes were harder to look away from. They were so inherently cheery, even when he was sad, and the puffy lower lids transitioned smoothly into his cheekbones. Gold flecks blessed his irises. Honey and lime; the sweetest combination. Each light freckle on his face was a beauty mark on his brown skin.

His countenance reminded her of her uncle’s whenever he meant to “fine-tune” her. It was a caring gaze enforced by sterness. The caring side was like a base note in a fragrance; it was harder to spot. Most would probably fail to. But Lilian could see that to some extent, Jase cared about her.

“I should be going,” Lilian stated, gracefully rising from the floor, then patting her skirt.

Jase stood to meet her. He snapped his finger, “Hey, are you going to the Masked Maiden’s performance tomorrow night? You can take Paul.”

Lilian shook her head, “Paul is leaving tomorrow.”

Jase frowned, “Oh.”

“When is it?” Lilian was quick to ask. “Where is it?”

“It’ll be at the Sweet Gum Cottage Inn from seven to whenever.”

“Will you and Tess be there?”

Jase shrugged and grinned mysteriously, “Maybe. In some form or another.”

Lilian was confused by his answer but didn’t dwell on it. She tapped a finger on her chin, “Hm. I’ll see if I can hold off Paul’s departure.”

Jase nodded, “Even if you can’t. You deserve a night of fun. Lilian.”

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