《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 218: Laying Down the Law While On the Run
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"Uh, what are you doing here?"
Hunter was still in shock, and half blinded from the light pouring in from his formerly solid ceiling. And when the girl that was now lying on top of him questioned him, he was too surprised to really comprehend what was happening.
The girl on top of Hunter was wearing a strange outfit covered in various pockets and rings that almost seemed to float around her limbs. Contrary to the filth and lack of effort that surrounded Hunter, she seemed to be sleek and stylish.
"Hwah?" Hunter blinked slowly.
"Hey, what's the matter with you? Can't you hear?" She asked. "I asked what the heck you think you're doing here?"
"Me?" Hunter asked incredulously. "What do you think you're doing here?"
She rolled her eyes. "Isn't it obvious? I'm just trying not to..."
She stopped abruptly and grabbed him by the loose fabric around his shirt collar. She lifted him up closer to her. A bead of sweat pooled on Hunter's forehead. Then, she rolled to the side and off of his bed with his body rolling right along with her.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!
A hail of bullets flew down onto his bed where the two of them had just been. His lump-filled mattress danced around up into the air as it got torn to shreds.
"What was that!" Hunter called out as he stared with wide eyes at the thin wisps that remained of his ancient, filthy, mattress.
She raised an eyebrow "What are you blind? I think that it'd be obvious what that was; and if you don't want to end up like that mattress, I suggest you start moving."
She roughly dropped him and stood up in one smooth motion.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait wait, wait wait. Hold on just a minute now!" Hunter interjected. "You can't just come crashing through my roof, and pretend like its nothing!"
Hunter sat up and looked over at the shreds that were left of his uncomfortable bed. "I really liked that bed too." He grumbled before he turned towards the invader with an angry frown. "Seriously, what the heck is going on, and why did you drag me into this?"
The girl rolled her eyes and lifted her leg up. She gently placed it on Hunter's chest, and then kicked out.
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OOMF!
Hunter slammed against the wall as she jumped back against the opposite wall. He looked annoyed, but then,
BRRRRRRRRRRT!
Another burst of gunfire obliterated the space where they had just been. Hunter looked on in horror as this time his computer was caught in the crossfire.
"No!" he cried as he reached out a hand towards his gaming machine.
But, it was futile. The bullets tore through his most expensive piece of furniture like it was nothing. A few sparks arced into the sky in one last defiant action by the chunk of technology.
Hunter collapsed to his knees as his body started to shake. "My...my PC..." he stammered in shock.
The girl rolled her eyes again. "Seriously, what is wrong with you? Do you want to die or something?"
"Everything...it's all gone..." his eyes were wide open as he leaned towards the destroyed computer. Even his desk and chair had been obliterated.
The girl rubbed her forehead and sighed. "Give me strength."
Then, she lowered her hand and lowered her eyebrows. She crouched down slightly, and started to sprint. The small room did not give her much room to move, and in less than a second she was right up next to Hunter.
WHAM!
Hunter had the air knocked out of him as she slammed her body against his, but she didn't stop. She kept moving forward, and his bod was lifted up off the ground as she crashed through the wall with him up against her.
"You're insane!" Hunter wheezed as he was hurled back into reality by the physical pain.
"It's Evelyn," she said. "And you're the insane one. Just standing there like a lump on a log while bullets rained down on you."
Hunter suddenly seemed to take in his current situation. He could hear gunfire back in his apartment, but more importantly to him he hadn't crashed into the apartment next door, oh no. Evelyn had flung them both out into thin air!
He looked around, and half of the tall apartment complex he lived in was just gone. Like someone had ripped half of it off. And now, he was free falling with a strange looking woman that didn't even seem the slightest bit phased by everything.
"What's going on!" He shrieked.
Evelyn rolled her eyes again. "Come on, I'm sure you can at least figure out the basics here."
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As he stood with his mouth agape, she sighed and said, "The Purple Peonies have gotten a little bold recently, but instead of landing in my safehouse, I landed in your sad little room. Now we both need to run if we want to survive."
"Wait, but I have nothing to do with these purple whatevers!" Hunter said.
"Purple Peonies." she corrected him.
"Whatever! I never did anything to them. I never did anything to anybody!" He whined. "I worked especially hard to be invisible to everyone. Just an unimportant background character that kept to myself."
She smiled at him. "Well, since your room somehow ended up in my last safehouse, I'm sure they think we're connected somehow."
"But...but that's not fair! Why would you do this to me?" he complained.
Her face twitched slightly. "Poor you? Oh well, sorry I'm such a bother running for my life. Not like I had a plan to get somewhere safe that you so kindly interrupted. But! Nothing we can do about it now. Just have to move forward and try something else."
"I mean," he gulped. "Couldn't you just explain it to them? I'm sure they'd understand, and it...it doesn't hurt to try, righ...EEP!"
BRRRRRRRRRRRT!
Evelyn ducked down, and a burst of air shot out of the rings around her shoulders. The two of them moved down and out of the way of another spray of bullets.
"I think it's a bit late for that. Not like they'd ever listen to me anyway," Evelyn explained as she started to maneuver around in the air with Hunter still in her arms.
Stoor grumbled and raised his worm like body up. Underneath him a large groove had been forced into the ground as proof of just how hard he had been slammed down into the ground. But, as he tried to turn around, his tail was lifted up into the air yet again.
Like a whip, his body was flung up into the air.
At the end of his tail, the hollow king, in his fine suit, held onto his slimy flesh. He twisted his body around, and Stoor's long form began to spin in a circle like a tornado.
"Seems you're pretty lucky." The smiling man looked down at Azrail and smirked. It was almost like the mysterious man had never been hit at all as he stood completely unfazed, and without even a drop of ichor falling from his body.
Azrail dusted his robe off with a neutral expression on his face. "An absence of luck can be made up for with enough skill." He said calmly.
"Why, I had a fight once with a young martial artist. Strange style, but aside from that, he had the worst luck I had ever seen." Azrail monologued. "Tripped over nearly anything and everything during our fight. But he always managed to throw it at me or use it to block my attacks somehow whenever he stumbled."
"Sounds more like luck to me." Snorted Minabous. The muscular cowgirl leered down at Azrail with a competitive grin.
Azrail looked up at her completely unfazed. "Except, each use of these everyday objects was completely intentional. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he had been faking the entire thing as an advanced form of fighting. Yet, the utter fear mixed with determination indicated quite the opposite."
Minabous snorted. "And you've got the look of a bored father, not any kind of warrior."
"That is because I just do what is necessary." Azrail lied. "There is no joy to be found in what I do."
She smirked as she cracked her knuckles.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!"
The sound of high pitched microphone feedback punctuated the authoritative command.
Harold was standing on the stage and holding the karaoke machine's microphone. He was standing up tall and had a serious look on his face.
"This nonsense has gone on long enough! Now I want all of you to clean up this mess you have made. OR ELSE!"
Harold nodded towards Gzemnid who grinned back at him with her bloodstained smile.
Everyone else had stopped fighting. Even the hollow king let go of Stoor, and the giant worm went flying through the air. Minabous looked almost like she had been frozen in place, and Azrail smiled softly as he turned towards the principal.
"I suppose my work isn't going anywhere." Azrail said with a nod. "No harm in humoring his request."
The smiling man let out a cackle. "Yes, yes! How interesting."
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