《Lament of the Slave》Chapter 153: Too Weak
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What the hell have I done?!
Seriously, what was I thinking? Where did I get the balls to say I would never let Idleaf fall into the thrall of dreams? I used to be a florist, for fuck's sake, not ... a shrink or anything like that.
But while one part of the inner me was screaming in a panic over my decision to become a Guardian of Idleaf, the rest of me was overjoyed. I mean, I was really flattered that someone like her saw value in me, not just because of my mutations and what I could be because of them. She was looking at me as her friend, someone she wanted to rely on.
Sure, living up to those expectations of hers wasn’t going to be easy. I wasn’t so naïve to think that. If anything, it was apparent that keeping to my vows would be challenging, to say the least.
And it wasn’t just about Idleaf and me. That decision of mine has made a lot of other things more complicated.
Those were worries for later, though.
Now I was preoccupied with more pressing matters. With my guts wracked with anxiety, I tensely awaited what was to come at the hands of Idleaf. The spirit visibly struggled with my naming, much more than with Zeewet’s. From what I could tell, she was having trouble mustering enough energy for the act, exhausted from the previous two.
I could have stopped her and told her there was no hurry, as a day or two wouldn’t make a difference. However, that would make me no better than the elder World Trees she spoke of, nagging her for the same thing. I couldn’t undermine her efforts, knowing how daunting it was when you put your heart into something and others were telling you how pointless or futile it was.
So I waited, slightly shaking with jitters, my hands sweaty, and holding my breath in anticipation.
Not sure how long it took. In the end, it didn’t matter. The spirit smiled, the pressure fading from her face while her eyes lit up with violet light shining brighter than the rest of her form. She took two steps closer to me, looking into my eyes, and I knew this was the moment.
“Will it hurt?” I whispered, knowing full well how ill-timed that question was. Yet I couldn’t help it as my fears got the better of me. My experiences with changes have not been pleasant and have often involved quite a bit of pain. Not even my ability to fly here in the vicinity of the World Tree was not without its share of it.
Fortunately, Idleaf didn’t take my question the wrong way and giggled at my silliness. “Of course not, Korra.”
“Sorry,” I squeaked back, apologizing for interrupting her.
She just smiled, her eyes taking me all in. “I name you, my Guardian,” she declared for all to hear, and as in the case of Esudein and Zeewet, she gently touched my forehead.
A wave of violet mana swept across my body and ringing of the system notifications through my mind as she did so. It wasn’t just some wave that washed over me but mana that went through every nook and cranny of my body, every single cell, making me feel like I was on fire for a brief moment. Yet, as strange as it made me feel, I found myself in no pain.
It was far from pleasant, though. The amount of energy was overwhelming, making me feel like I was drowning inside out, denying me the air. At one point, I almost gasped for breath, realizing that my lungs were full of it. Strangely enough, at the same time, I found the mana and whatever it was doing to me, warming and right. This was not some mutation that twisted my body, but...a spell that was...making me better? Not quite sure about that part.
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I simply had no clue about the changes this naming as Guardian brought upon me. It beckoned to draw comparisons to my mutations, which were still largely a mystery to me. However, that would be a mistake as now I was not alone in this...mess. There were three of us: me, Esudein, and Zeewet. Last but not least, Idleaf, the mastermind behind it all.
This time I had someone I could turn to.
In my elation, I forgot to shield my eyes from the dazzling light of the dangling, streaming clusters of her flowers above me that flashed for a brief moment, blinding me for the second time. Didn’t matter, though.
I had my domain in which I found myself with the same Guardian markings on me that the two beasts now possessed.
My eyes, whose green irises were bordered by a purple ring interspersed with veins of the same color, to begin with, now glowed with a violet light too. Even my skin was now covered here and there with purple glowing runes, like the fur and feathers of the two beast Guardians. Apart from the fact that they glowed faintly, they looked like tattoos I had never had. Even to the touch, they were no different from ordinary skin, neither warmer nor colder. So what were they? Well, their meaning eluded me, just like the one of my name.
My name!
How could I forget?
Looking up from my new tattoos, I glanced at Idleaf. The spirit was smiling faintly, looking deep into my eyes. Or so I thought at first. She didn’t hold my gaze but searched for my new name in them as if they were a gateway to wherever she was looking.
And she searched for quite a long time.
So long, in fact, that doubts began to creep into my mind.
Was there something wrong with my name?
Was it even possible to add to the name carried by someone lost in the past?
Maybe Idleaf was looking for a whole new name for me?
Then the focus returned to the spirit’s eyes, and as she smiled broadly, I knew the moment when I would learn my new name was here. Nervous and full of anticipation, I straightened up, my ears pricked up to make sure I didn’t miss a thing.
Idleaf took a breath, a notion she by no means had to make, but for sure made her look more alive, and declared my name for all to hear. “Korra’leigh, the Guardian of Idleaf.”
Huh? Sure not what I expected, different from Esudein or Zeewet’s names. But then again, what name was I actually hoping for?
“Thank you, Idleaf,” I said, meaning it in all sincerity, and hugged her.
She hugged me back, then giggled. “That tickles, Korra’leigh.”
As my name rolled off her tongue, I was more aware than ever of its strength and meaning. Well, at least the new part, the story behind the old ‘Korra’ was still unknown to me. The ‘leigh’ in my name carried the meaning of my success, telling anyone who could read the names and me as the owner that I had become a Guardian of Idleaf.
Let me tell you. It was fucking weird.
“Don’t keep the others waiting,” prompted the spirit, and there was no need for her to tell me more. I knew what she wanted me to do, introduce myself.
Not exactly keen to do so, I took a breath, calmed my mind with [Indomitable Will], and turned to the others. “I am Korra’leigh, the Guardian of Idleaf.”
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Now I found myself on the receiving end of the silence that had fallen on the expanse, and it was as uncomfortable as I thought. It was the worst response one could get after proudly presenting one’s accomplishments, and I was glad I was earlier able to spare Idleaf much of it.
The silence didn’t last long, though.
Just a few breaths after I said my name, a whistle cut through the expanse, making many a mossbear flinch. “Well done, Little Beast. Well done.”
Not the way I envisioned it to go, but I liked Deckard’s way of recognition nonetheless. Nothing noble, too much respect or restraint, just a simple expression of pride at my success. I really like it. After all, I was no noble lady, nor did I desire respect that I did not think I deserved, anyway. What I was, or used to be a year ago, was an ordinary young woman, and deep down, I was still one. So, the whistle and the clapping were quite enough for me.
Before long, some of the soldiers joined in the applause. Others, after the manner of Lord Wigram, bowed to me in the respect they would give to a genteel lady. The beasts followed suit and expressed their recognition and respect for what I had become in their own ways. Some saw no difference between Esudein and me. Others, like the northern eagles, were considerably more reserved and did only the necessary.
“You taken on great responsibility, pup,” Esudein growled softly, not hiding his delight and pride with me. “You do not lack courage...nor determination.”
“Lacks strength, though,” Zeewet pointed out, the prudence she had in front of Idleaf before gone.
“Young, will grow fast...”
Although reluctantly, proud Miros acknowledged his point before fixing her sharp eyes on me. “You’re still chick. No different to me. Not like me. No respect, unless you prove otherwise.” Her opinion of me hasn’t changed even after the naming.
“I understand, and thank you, Zeewet.” I said, knowing that pushing her further was not going to do any good. It was okay enough that she didn’t compare me to a weasel this time.
Not wanting to dwell on the whims of this proud bird and ruin the moment, I turned my attention back to Esudein. “I will do my best not to let you down, grow strong as fast as I can, and carry out my role as a Guardian.”
The ancient mossbear...smirked at the eagle sitting in the branches of the World Tree, proud of his pup, then cast a pleased glance at me. “I trust, you will...”
“Korra’leigh, this is so wonderful,” Idleaf squealed, bouncing around me the entire time in excitement, enjoying the different reactions of those around us. “Can’t wait to see more.”
“Yeah, about that...” I said, faltering. “How does it actually work? You see what I see?” Considering the glowing eyes, it seemed like a likely scenario. Although a bit creepy. Even though she was...a female-ish like me, the idea of her watching me even while doing my...business didn’t sit quite right with me.
The spirit giggled, mischief in the eyes. “You shall see.”
“When?” I’d hate to cause a panic in Castiana.
“When I get some rest.”
That gave me pause and made me look at the tree. “It took a lot out of you, didn’t it? The namings, I mean.”
Idleaf nodded. “The elders are really mad at me. Reckless, rash, hasty, that’s what they call me. Slow and boring is what I call them.”
“They are giving you a hard time, huh?”
“I should have chosen only one, too weak for more,” she explained, irritation seeping into her voice. “I risked getting burned. I could have withered. The elders say. But they are them, and I am me. I knew I wouldn’t.” Now she sounded like a child who did not know her limits and risked herself just to prove them wrong.
“You sure did, but don’t be too hard on them. I’m sure they meant well.”
She smiled, her expression quickly changing to one of guilt. “They spoke the truth about me being too weak to have more than one Guardian.”
“I don’t follow. You have three...”
“Two more than I should.”
“Dumb chick,” Zeewet sneered in her sing-song voice. “She knows nothing of Guardians and has become one.”
“Speaks of pure intentions,” Esudein argued on my behalf, for which I was grateful, not sure about the pure part, though. There was a bit of selfishness in my decision to become a Guardian. After all, I saw it as a way home someday. When will it be? That depended entirely on Idleaf.
Speaking of which, she surprised me a little by pointing her finger at me out of the blue. “You protect me. I aid you. My mana in your body will help you grow, Korra’leigh. Though not so much now, when divided between three.”
She then turned to Esudein and Zeewet. “I apologize, my Guardians. I am too weak...rash, maybe, as the elders say.” Her shoulders sagged as she reluctantly admitted that there was something to the elder World Trees’ words. “But I’m not them. I am Idleaf.”
She was, and neither of the two minded her particular quirk or the lack of her power. Me? I was a little lost. I mean, I understood her mana was supposed to give me some sort of growth boost. How big, though? Dunno. Did I need it? It would definitely come in handy, but...I was growing faster than the others, anyway. In what way will her mana help me grow? That’s what I had to ask.
When I did so, Idleaf gave me a puzzled look, wondering how to tell me. “The things you learn will come to you more easily as I learn with you.”
“Wait, you’re going to learn the skills I will?”
“No, silly Korra’leigh. I grow by learning about the world in which I’m rooted.”
“And that helps me how...?”
“You’ll know, I’ll know. My mana will know.”
So I’ll draw on her knowledge as well? “That would be your proficiency, not mine, though.”
“My mana is in your body. It will help you understand better.”
“Oh, so something like extra muscle memory?”
That piqued her curiosity. “What is that?”
So instead of learning more about what her mana now coursing through my body was doing to me, I was the one who had to do the explanation. To be fair, she did tell me, eventually. And it was as I more or less assumed.
It kind of strengthened the muscle memory, adding to my capacity to learn, or rather, I got more out of what I was learning. Like...like...okay, let’s say I usually increase the effectiveness of my strikes by 10% in a day of training. Ridiculous, I wasn’t that good, but let’s go with the nice and round number. Now that I was a Guardian of Idleaf, I’d up that efficiency to 15%.
Not the actual numbers, of course.
She wasn’t able to tell me more precisely, saying it depended on the individual, their strength, their connection to her, and then, as she also mentioned, on her own strength and the number of Guardians she divided her might among.
In other words, the growth bonus her mana could give her Guardians now was minimal in the case of Esudein and Zeewet, as they were as strong as her or even stronger and not that big in my case either, even though I was considerably weaker than them.
It raised many questions. Like, couldn’t she focus her power on just one? She couldn’t. If she were to do that, it would mean severing her connection to the other two and essentially renouncing them as her Guardians. It was a permanent link in which she was unable to control the flow of her mana. And it was a damn disproportionate flow, where my fellow Guardians took most of the mana Idleaf shared with us. Not their fault, though. That’s how the link worked.
If I wanted more of the share, I had to get stronger or deepen my connection with the World Tree, whatever that meant. And it went the other way around, too. The stronger the Idleaf, the more mana she could share. And how did such a World Tree grow in strength? With time. With time, with a greater knowledge of the world and its guardians.
“So you’re okay with me leaving?” I asked to be sure when the time had come.
“Oh, I can’t wait to see what lies beyond my reach.”
“Okay then...I’ll tell the others.”
She did a little dance, bouncing up and down. “Go, hurry up...”
“Not sure humans will leave quickly enough for someone so impatient, though.”
“That’s okay. I need to rest and regain my strength, bathe my leaves in sunlight, and suck water from the deep. I can wait. I can be patient,” she said, offended that I thought otherwise. Then she shooed me away. “Go, Korra’leigh, go...”
At her insistence, I took to air again, taking advantage of the fact that my wings still allowed me to do so. It was awesome, but this time I was on my own enjoying the flight. When I looked back, the spirit was gone.
For a moment there, I was expecting her to pop out from somewhere behind me to scare the shit out of me as she did so many times before. Yet that didn’t happen. She did not reappear, not even by Esudein or in the branches where Zeewet sat.
My guess was that she retreated to regain her strength so she could go on an adventure. And since there was nothing I could do to help her, I took the wind and glided back to my mentor and the rest of the humans.
“Hi,” I said, with a bit of nervousness as I landed rather smoothly on the ground next to them, unsure of what to tell them. “I didn’t see that coming, did you?”
“Certainly not, Miss Grey,” said Lord Wigram, with a rather complicated expression, before turning to Lightfeather. “Major, please,” he gestured towards Esudein. “There are quite a few things that need to be discussed.”
“Sorry, Grey. We’ll talk later...and congratulations,” Lightfeather said before catching up with Imperial Chief Healer. The man took off to meet the ancient mossbear that ruled these woods without saying another word, leaving me rather bewildered.
“What the fuck was that about?”
“Don’t worry about it, Little Beast,” Deckard remarked, putting his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve created more work for him than he expected.”
Oh, that. He was here to make sure after the incident involving me and the mind mages here in the woods that Esudein wasn’t going to attack the Sahal Empire. Now, it was the elven kingdoms lying somewhere across the sea that became more of a threat to the Empire.
“Is he pissed at me?”
“Pissed?” Deckard laughed. “I’ve never seen him so excited in my life. He made one of his servants write down everything that happened here in detail and took notes himself.”
“Really? He didn’t seem thrilled to see me.”
“The old man can be pretty serious and focused when he needs to be. Trust me. Once he knows where Sahal and Esulmor stand, you won’t be able to get rid of him...congrats on your new job, by the way.”
Job? That was a peculiar way to call my Guardianship.
“Yeah, about that...” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “Sorry, I didn’t clear it with you.”
“Are you crazy? You got a chance and took it. I would have done the same. Besides, who can say he’s training a Guardian of the World Tree?”
“You’re not going to trumpet it all over the place like that stupid nickname, are you?”
“You mean Overgrown Duster?” Deckard asked, amused, but then shook his head. “Don’t worry, but this calls for a drink or two.”
Remembering how I ended up the last time I tasted alcohol, I couldn’t help grumbling. “Is that necessary?”
“It is. Think of it as your tolerance training.”
“Training, huh?” I couldn’t help smirking. “Do you train that way often?”
“When I feel like it...oh, come on, don’t you think it deserves a little celebration? Look at you. You’re glowing.”
Sure as hell, he didn’t mean it as a flutter, I looked at the runes on my body. “Do you think it’s permanent, or will I eventually stop shining like a Christmas tree?” I forgot to ask Idleaf that.
“The what tree, now?”
“Ah, forget it,” I waved him off, paying more attention to the system and the notifications that came with my naming. “I should probably check the Status Screen now that I have time.”
“Good idea, Little Beast. Find a place, sit your ass down, and do just that. That shit earned you a few levels.” he said, referring to me becoming a Guardian.
.
..
...
[Ride of Ancestors] reaches lvl 4 [Spatial Domain] reaches lvl 32 [YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 105] [Fierce Pounce] reaches TIER II
And so on...
.
..
..
[YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 111] [YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 112]
There...
Your name has changed to [Korra’leigh Grey]
Okay, that notification was a little plainer than I thought it would be. Not that I mind. The content was what mattered.
Name: Korra’leigh Grey
Race: Human/Beast
Gender: Female
Age: 29
Korra’leigh Grey. Honestly, I had no idea how to feel about the name. I liked it a lot, don’t get me wrong. I just thought the only name change I’d ever make would be my last name when I found the right guy, and we said yes to each other.
Like I said, I liked the name. It’s just going to take some getting used to.
And the rest of the Status Screen? It was quite something to look at, as I hadn’t had a chance to check the full results of my training so far.
Name: Korra’leigh Grey
Race: Human/Beast
Gender: Female
Age: 29
Main Class: Deviant of Humanity
Sub Class: Slave
Level: 104 -> 112
[Unspent Stat Points: 2 -> 10]
Constitution: 102 (39)
Strength: 60 (25)
Endurance: 37 (27)
Dexterity: 33 (25)
Intelligence: 23 (12)
Wisdom: 21 (11)
Class Skills (8/8):
Indomitable Will (Passive V): lvl 121 -> 122
Master’s Shield (Active II): lvl 24 -> 27
Behemoth (Active II): lvl 11 -> 15
Wrought Hide (Passive II): lvl 10 -> 15
Unbending Resilience (Passive II ↑): lvl 8 -> 11
Fierce Pounce (Active II ↑): lvl 9 -> 12
Ride of Ancestors (Active I): lvl 3 -> 7
Call of Nature (Passive II): lvl 11 -> 17
General Skills (10/10):
Eleaden Standard Language (Passive I): lvl 9
Perfect Equilibrium (Passive III↑): lvl 28 -> 32
Spatial Domain (Passive III): lvl 30 -> 35
Beast (Passive III): lvl 38 -> 44
Never-Dying (Passive III): lvl 45 -> 47
Tail of Poison Empress (Active II): lvl 14-> 16
Heart of Magic (Passive I): lvl 9
Striving Mule (Passive II): lvl 15 -> 18
Dancer’s Stride (Passive II): lvl 18 -> 23
None to Squander (Passive II↑): lvl 9 -> 12
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