The first order of business was the enormous bag of trash that dominated a corner of Grogtilda’s room. It had to die. I slashed the bag open, pulverizing it. The contents within it spilled out noisily. I vanquished them too, turned everything inside it into white silica dust.

It took me a while to precisely stab each item to death. Some items were tougher and required multiple stabbings. Murdering garbage took a lot of focus too, but with each new kill I was getting better at it, getting better at harnessing the power of Sempiternity. I didn’t really believe in the void goddess or whatever. I simply knew that the all-murdering knife worked and netted me experience for the most ridiculous murder spree ever.

“Look upon my works and despair, vile trash!” I grinned. “I shall spare none of you, for your crimes are too numerous to bother listing! Ha ha ha! Take that you stupid, moldy blanket, take that you evil broken plate, take that you dastardly rotten apple!”

I spared nothing with my decimation and in about two hours I was sitting in a room covered in crystalline sand, panting furiously. A bag full of executed garbage netted me about fifty experience points. It wasn’t much, so I moved onto the hefty piles of trash that filled the living room to bursting.

I spent all night at it in Juni’s body and by the time sunrise came to Undertown, the house of the Misem family was clean, every room now filled with sparkling white sand that was already being blown away by the morning draft coming from the river.

I sheathed the all-killing artifact knife and tiredly limped into Saccy, putting my exhausted chimera body to sleep. I stepped out of my room as Grogtilda, the human girl, for once feeling rather refreshed.

I sat down on the pile of beautiful, sparkling sand and poured it from one hand to the other.

The door to my parents room opened and Lic stepped out. His face became very long. It didn’t take very long for Nandine to emerge as well.

“W-what happened to all of my things?” She gasped.

“I killed them,” I replied sagely. “You weren’t using them. I left for three months and returned to find this place a complete, horrid disaster. Try to keep the house clean next time, you two!”

I shot Nandine my most dashing smile. She looked like she was going to strangle me.

“No need to thank me,” I grinned harder.

“How?” Lic looked at the piles of white sand.

“I had been blessed by goddess Sempiternity with the unholy powers of cleaning!” I replied.

“W-what in Eunisii’s name is this stuff?” Nandine kicked the white sand.

“Beautiful, sparkling, clean sand,” I said. “I did tell you that I was going to clean up Undertown, starting with this house! In time, this stuff will make lovely sand beaches down by the river!”

The woman’s eye twitched.

“You can’t just go around destroying people's things!” She cried.

“I did nothing of the sort,” I said. “I merely purified the house with the blessed power of Sempiternity!"

My parents looked at each other, then down at the white sand. Nandine looked like she was about to explode.

“You… you… you…”

“I know,” I said, beaming. “I’m amazing. You're welcome.”

“You’re lucky I'm decrepit and my legs don't work," Nandine seethed, as she attempted to hobble towards me. "I should give you a goodly whopping."

I dusted off my hands and tilted my head at her. "Are you really going to attack someone with an armacus, Nandine?"

The bloated, blue-tinted woman looked up at me. There was anger in her eyes, but it started to drown in fear. For once I didn't call her my mother.

"You're a Topaz addict," I said.

"Am not..." she mumbled.

"You are," I said. "Do you take it for sleep or something? You know, there are better ways to cure insomnia and… pain."

"Like what?" She huffed, squinting at me. "Do we look like someone who can afford upworld medicine?"

"Plants from the Dungeon for one," I said. "I could get you some or I could buy you some pain-killers or sleep-aid potions from Lomb."

"We don't need your charity, mageling," she spat.

Lic looked like she wanted to say something, but he wilted away under Nandine's challenging gaze. I wondered if he saw himself as someone far below her. Nandine was an upworlder, a fallen citizen of Illatius while Lic was born in Undertown.

"I'm not here to give charity," I rubbed my face in irritation. "I'm here to help my family... I'm here to help everyone in Undertown."

"So… you are a student from Nemendias on a noblesse oblige mission… where you pretend to help the misfortunate, unwashed plebes for a short while," Nandine hissed. "I hope that shiny crest will be worth it. I'm sure when you do get it, you'll never return here, forget everything you saw."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, staring into her emerald eyes.

"You will," she said. "Soon enough, you'll realize that this place is not worth your time, impossible to change."

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't find the words. My stomach growled.

"I'm going to make breakfast with dad," I said. "You can stew in your own anger as much as you want, mom. I'm not from Nemendias and I'm not going to give up on you or Undertown."

"You should take it easy on your mom," Lic said as we were cutting squids in the now far cleaner and roomier kitchen.

"Doesn't this kitchen look so much better now that it's free of random junk?" I rebutted. "Who filled the house with random upworld detritus? You or her?"

"We both did," Lic sighed. "We started collecting things from the river because Nani wanted to sort nicer things to trade around... but then we sort of gave up and it all accumulated."

"It happens to a lot of people," I nodded. "Hoarding is a common problem, especially when it comes to trying to deal with depression and pain."

"I don't know if your mom ever got used to this life. She's had it hard since being cast into Undertown," Lic sighed.

"What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's not my story to tell," Lic said. "But your mom's an upworlder.... she had... possibly still has family in Illatius."

"Family... in Illatius?" a part of me choked. "Did none of them come down here to help her? Did nobody look for her?"

I nearly dropped a pot of squid guts that I was carrying.

"No," Lic shook his head. "Either they do not know that she is down here... or they've abandoned her for some reason."

"I'm going to have to pay them a visit then," I clutched my fists until they turned white as I stepped close to him. "I'm going to find out why Mom ended up down here."

Lic looked at me like he was about to say something but then his eyes shot to my armacus. Little Grogtilda had no opportunity, no wealth, no power and no possible way to get to Illatus... but I was an arcane Engram of Yulia Ishenko, a girl from a world long dead and buried beneath the impossible, infinite city...

I had resources, knowledge, friends and I would not be so easily broken. I would not bend.

"Her full maiden name," I said.

"Huh?" Lic blinked.

"I want to know mom's full name, from before she married you," I said. "I work for the Constabulary, remember? I'm going to find my grandparents."

"Oh," Lic gulped. "Your mom's name was Nandie... Matre Cypriss."

I laid back on my hanging bed inside of Saccy as I called Lambert with my armacus.

[Anything to report, agent?] The Inspector's voice sounded in my head. [How are things in Undertown?]

"I've found my family," I said. "I'm with them now, helping them clean up the house."

[Very good,] he replied, his voice warm and kind. [I'm glad.]

"Could you look someone up for me, Inspector?" I asked. "An adventurer by the name Nandie Matre Cypriss."

[Not a problem, I'll get Anniya on it,] he replied. [Does this relate to our main case?]

"No," I said. "This is a personal request. It's my mom. She wasn't born in Undertown. Someone broke her legs and tried to drown her... more than fifteen years ago. I want to know if she... if I have family in Illatius."

[Ah, I see,] Lambert said. [I'll get Anniya to scout the database for a missing adventurer report and anything about the Cypriss family. Now, tell me what else you've been up to. I want to know everything.]

I slowly went over my adventure of getting to Undetown, of finding my parents, of encountering the immovable gate and of murdering garbage.

[Let me get this straight. You can kill... objects? To gain experience?] Lambert choked from his end.

"Yep," I smirked.

[You continue to surprise me,] he said. [I've never heard of such a thing.]

"I wouldn't be able to do it without the soul-carving knife," I said.

[I am... perturbed,] Lambert confessed. [To think that you're aware not of just one but of three Inarian devices!]

"Maybe more," I said. "Who knows how much stuff Eunice and her heroes are hoarding."

"I am also extremely perturbed," Dawn commented from the dress. "This all-killing knife seems like incredibly dangerous business."

"Hang on... you can hear what the inspector is saying in my head?" I blinked.

"Yes, I can," Dawn said. "He's speaking to you through your armacus, the foci of which is your gemstone. I'm continuously fed by the same type of gemstone. I can perceive the vibrations being emitted by your armacus through the Astral."

"Ah," I scratched my chin. "Good to know."

"Please don't accidentally stab me with that knife," Dawn said.

"I won't," I said. "Are you scared of a little black knife or do you think I'm kind kind of a klutz?"

"I'm scared of that knife," Dawn confessed. "I can hear their screams when they die..."

"Who's screams?" I asked.

"The things you've... killed," Dawn replied.

"Are you saying that all random objects have... consciousness? Should I be regretting murdering a whole house full of garbage?" I gasped.

"Consciousness is a wide term," Dawn said. "The objects you stabbed were alive... on some level similar to mine and you've undone them. Not a little undone, like burning or crushing them. You've popped their conceptual state, shattered them in the physical and the Astral. You've done something extremely unnatural and terrifying and I do not like it. I'm... very scared. I've been scared since you've set out on your object-murdering spree for experience. I can't even close my eyes, can't look away as you kill, pop things near me straight out of existence, whisk them right out of the Astral."

"I wouldn't murder you for experience, Dawn," I said. "You're... my bestie. I... really like you. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry... I didn't realize that killing things would upset you. You should have said something earlier. I can stop killing junk if it upsets you."

"No, it's alright," the painted girl sighed. "I'm not going to get in the way of your growth. I just wanted you to know that... their screams were rather unsettling. I really don't want to go out like them, to shatter into nothing, to pop like a soap bubble into total non-existence, not even leaving a shadow imprint behind."

"I can stop stabbing things with the death-knife," I said. "I can find another way to level up."

"Don't mind me," Dawn insisted. "I'll endure."

[I don't think that it's realistic to clean up the entirety of Undertown with a single magical knife,] Lambert commented. [It would take you a lifetime if not two to stab every item of garbage and would distract you from our core mission.]

"I'm getting better at it," I said. "...I think."

"There are millions upon millions of broken things here," Dawn said softly. "He's right. You'd waste your entire life killing objects, even if you spend a few seconds swinging at each one... which you don't. You're taking your time studying each one before you kill it."

"Stop raining on my parade, you two," I huffed.

[I'm simply pointing out your inefficiency,] the Inspector said. [You could have gotten that much XP by eating a few well-priced monster steaks instead of stabbing at things all night. Killing mundane garbage is a pitiful XP gain, especially if you need to focus on the stabbing and visualizing. There are Pyromancers that can vaporize mountains full of junk with a single firewall. It would be a waste of time to clean Undertown with a knife and you would expose an incredibly dangerous weapon and a very rare item to prying eyes.]

I groaned. My friends were right. I thought I had discovered a hack that would allow me to solve everything, but in reality I simply converted a small house-sized pile of junk into crystal sand... which likely could have been done by a professional wizard with a single spell.

I stretched on my hammock and fell silent, pondering things over, feeling very irate. I was irate at myself, irate at Infi and her damned immovable gate that showed me a ghost of my...

My brain clicked as my fingers reached for the hilt of the pure-black, hexagon-covered knife. The knife could hurt the gate. The knife was the key to it, a weapon that unlocked whatever secrets it held. I decided it then, as I held the knife tightly.

I will...!

[I know what you're going to do,] Lambert said. [Do not.]

"W-what?" I blinked. "I wasn’t going to do anything. I haven’t done anything yet! I'm just..."

[You're thinking about stabbing the immovable gate with the all-killing knife,] Lambert stated. [Please don't break our only two Inarian artifacts. I'd like to examine the Undertown Shogun Gate in person, before you break it.]

"I wasn't," I mumbled and fell silent.

"You were," Dawn sputtered angrily. "You were totally planning to stab the gate! You’re still planning it! Stop it! Stop it right now! Stop thinking about stabbing the gate!"

"Why did I choose to be friends with precogs?" I groaned into my hands. "Woe is me. Woe! I can't even make a reckless decision without being pre-shamed about it!"

[I didn't use future sight,] Lambert said. [It was a deduction based on your personality traits. You take insanely dangerous risks that you think will pay off. You're what's known as a high-stakes gambler personality.]

"Why did I choose to be friends with Sherlock Holmes," I muttered to myself. "I'm supposed to be the hero! When did I become Watson?"

[I don't know who the people you speak of are, but I am an Inspector and you're my Agent,] he said calmly. [Please don't do anything rash.]

"Eunice carved up her entire End Gate with hexagrams and stuff," I said. "Why can't I poke mine just a little...?"

[The Gate isn’t in a secure location and you're NOT a thousand-year-old, highly experienced archmage,] Lambert said. [Something could go horribly wrong. The Inarian Gate could have arcane protection on it that could vaporize you on the spot!]

"But… I have Dawn's superior precognition power on my side," I tried to weasel my way into the super-awesome, albeit half-assed plan I've already assembled in my head.

"Dawn, help me, you’re my only hope!" I appealed to the painting without looking at her. "Is the Shogun gate going to vaporize me if I scratch it a little with the soul-carving knife? Is it a good move for my future-self?"

"I don't know," Dawn replied, her voice trembling. "I... can't see the path forward from this branch of actions. There is nothing at all there. I have no idea whether you live or die. This... has never happened to me before. Your future… it doesn’t exist in the Astral. Please, for the love of the Emperor, stop thinking about stabbing the Gate!"