《Humans Must Adapt!》Chapter 96: Drinking Game.
Advertisement
"Fine, your language is my second language, and I misspoke. That's on me. I'll tell you everything you need to know about the next challenge."
I'm distracted from his words because a new message popped up in front of me.
[Path of the Broken Body C lv3 > Path of the Broken Body C lv4
Unarmed Damage: +40% ⬆
Maximum Health: +40% ⬆]
All my martial skills got buffed too. I wondered why my skills hadn't leveled in such a long time. Maybe I needed to supercharge myself with nutrients before making the jump.
Or maybe I need to train each skill individually, and if anything is dragging behind the pack, the martial arts can't level.
I've ignored the monkey king's vivid description of the history and cultural impact of what I call the opposite of a drinking game.
The typical goal of a drinking competition is to drink as much without passing out.
This competition is about getting as hammered as fast as possible.
I'm skeptical if this is real or if he's just fucking with me. Regardless, I'm confident in my [Broken Liver].
"Alright, human. So we will take turns drinking until the winner emerges. But no faking. If you cheat, I'll eat your face."
"...ditto?"
"Good, we are at an agreement then."
The wine is shortly brought out after. It's stored in cup-sized clay pots and carried over by more monkeys.
"Allow this monkey the handicap."
He reaches over for the first pot. It nestles nicely in his hand.
He rips the top open and downs the entire thing in one go.
"WOO! that's the stuff! HAHA!"
He slams the table and throws his cup down to the ground, shattering it on impact.
I gingerly take one of the clay pots and open the seal.
It's definitely fruit wine, and the alcohol content is high enough to burn my nose.
I take a sip, and it's not good. It's slightly moldy, and the taste of alcohol overpowers the fruit.
"Don't be taking baby sips!"
I down the entire thing without gagging. It burns but not as much as what I had to do to break my liver in the first place. I don't get any notifications about my poison resistance, so at least the monkey king is not blatantly trying to kill me.
Is relying on the system notifications a good way of checking for poisons? A problem I just now realized is that if someone used such a deadly poison on me, something that overpowered my resistances and my health bar, it wouldn't matter if I kept an eye on my system window.
There are manaless species of aquatic snails with poison so potent it could kill any unsuspecting passerby. Creatures with mana-enhanced toxins spell trouble for any living creature.
Also, that makes me think about what the system classifies [Resistance: Poison] as.
Strictly speaking, poison is a substance that causes illness or death when absorbed, and venom is an injected substance that does the same.
Advertisement
During my sixteen trials with Master Wang, I was subjected to envenomed creatures and their toxins and concluded that any harmful substance that attacks my internals falls under "poison."
But does that also apply to heavy metal poisoning or parasites? Does it boost my immune system against pathogens? Is it any foreign body or just organic secretions?
It's hard to think. I'm on my third cup of wine and feeling woozy...
...
Not thinking for a moment was calming. Having an internal monologue to keep me company is alright but having a break once in a while is nice.
...
~
I wake up in a- fuck it hurts to think. Is this a hangover? This sucks so hard.
I'm tired, and everything is sore. Everything is so loud, and I could kill for some water.
I reach over and grab the nearest container. I take a swig, and it's more wine.
I almost spit it out, but instead, I drink it down, making sure my [Broken Liver] is turned off. The liquid is liquid. If my liver is functional, I shouldn't get drunk with this level of wine.
I look around. I'm surrounded by passed-out monkeys and empty jars. I spot the monkey king cuddling a log and cooing in his sleep.
The sun's out, and the light hurts my eyes. I can feel myself get physically better.
I drag myself onto my feet and look around for my tamed beasts.
It's not hard since they are the only creatures that aren't sleeping off the night before.
[It's been-]
"AH. STOP. Give me a moment before you start talking to me. My dehydrated brain will crumble if you do that right now."
[...]
"Alright, I'm good now."
[We can leave now. The monkeys drank themselves into a stupor.]
"Alright, but help me remember what happened last night."
[Last night? Don't you mean the last few days?]
"...what?"
[After you passed out, the monkey king declared you the winner before waiting for you to wake up. You woke up not soon after and just kept drinking.]
"..."
[The monkey king liked that and joined you. Eventually, it transitioned into every monkey, including you, eating monkey food and drinking poorly fermented alcohol.]
"..."
[You partied for almost three days.]
"Why didn't you stop me?"
[You seemed to be having fun. You might be my Master and destined for grander things, but you still deserve earthly pleasures.]
"I'm scared of what expectations you hold for me."
After she recapped what happened, bits and pieces of memories from the nights before started streaming into my mind.
Usually, becoming drunk shrinks the part of the brain that lets you remember things, making it stop working. You can't "remember" what you never recorded.
The only memories I recall were ones I got when just coming back from unconsciousness. I passed out many times and got up every time.
Advertisement
I check my system window.
[Resistance: Poison 400 > 401]
Resistance: Exhaustion 0 > 5]
Holy shit! Not only did my [Poison Resistance] break past 400, I discovered a new resistance type!
What the fuck does resisting exhaustion do? Does it let me die from fatigue without feeling the ill effects? I hope it allows me to not get tired as quickly instead of what dumb thing I just thought.
I wonder what the "5" represents comparatively. Hypothetically, if I have double the vigor that someone else, logic would dictate that I would have double the stamina.
However, Master Wang's teachings show me that's not 100% reliable, but for the sake of the hypothetical, I'll allow such a simple formula.
If I'm in a marathon with someone with the same vigor, and we ignore any other stat, we should last the same amount of time. But this resistance should give me the upper hand.
I wonder if it's additive or multiplicative. If it applies to units of time or my stats.
It's probably nothing too dramatic, like exponentially increasing my stamina. Regardless, this implication makes me completely change how I view my resistance.
I saw it as "resisting the elements," but that doesn't seem to be the case. Exhaustion is not an "element," but if I relate it to a game, it would be a "status effect."
What experiments can I do to gain more types of resistance? Is there a catch-all magic resistance? Could I get resistance to specific things like tree bark or knives? Dragons?
What "status effects" can be resisted? Blindness? Suffocation? Age?
"Brother human, what are you doing over there?"
My thoughts get interrupted by the monkey king. He's still holding onto the log while rubbing his eyes.
"Brother?"
"Yes?"
I blurted out my words in surprise, but the monkey king heard it as me calling out for him. I vaguely recall making merry with the monkey king, but nothing too specific.
"I recall winning? Was the challenge a best of three, or do I need to win all three?"
"Ohoho, of course, it's winning all three. But since we are brothers now, how could I subject you to such trivialities."
"Great!"
"However..."
"Great."
"The last challenge was a fight to the death, but we don't need to do that anymore. How about a sparring match instead?"
I contemplate for a second.
"Sure."
"Great! My god can be witness!"
"What god do you follow?"
"Just one of the war gods, don't worry about it."
That doesn't narrow it down in the slightest. A war god is just a god that promotes combat and fighting. Not sure if the domain was split amongst many or something else I can't comprehend.
The domains of war I can recall off the top of my head are strategies/warcraft, bloodshed/brutality, brotherhood/loyalty, courage/leadership, and domination/victory. There might be a chivalry/honor one, but I'm not sure.
Gods usually have more than one title or domain, so I gave both. Unfortunately, I don't know the names of the gods that bear those domains.
"Care to elaborate?"
"Sure. However, If I state my god's name, you can't back out from the spar."
"Okay."
"I'm a devout follower of the war god of madness and partying, Aakgraak."
"...how is he a war god exactly?"
"He causes a lot of wars. It's a technicality."
"...insanity and celebrations can be segmented further into sub-domains as well. Couldn't they?"
"Yes, but that's neither here nor there. One of my god's mantras is to enjoy life because death is inevitable."
"..."
"He's the brother to a death god who has very similar domains now that I think about it."
"What's his mantra, 'the underworld is just the afterparty?'"
"How would I know? I don't follow that god."
"..."
"Give me a few hours to set up the altar and walk off this hangover. I'll holler when I'm ready."
My monkey brother waddles away with his log behind his stone throne, leaving me alone with my tamed beasts.
[...]
"Duchess, do you follow any gods?"
[Thisss one is an atheist. Thisss one doesn't believe that gods exist.]
"What? Why?"
[Thisss one doesn't see them as 'gods' but deities. They aren't all-powerful creators, just powerful entities with power over nature or mortal fortune. Even the gods that claim to have created things, like order or nature, make thisss one doubt. They aren't native to this world, and those things already existed. Either their claim of being from another realm is false, or they are just unoriginal.]
"..."
[Regardless, thisss one's faith is not being directed to an unknown entity.]
"What about you, Flash Gordon."
"..."
"Don't care for that stuff either? Alright."
[What about you, Master? Thisss one hasn't seen you pray, only curse the gods or thank them.]
"The idea that a group of beings above mortal comprehension can dictate how the world goes makes me ill. I have issues with the local authority, so thinking about divine jurisdiction makes me sad.
I'll respect the gods I like and dislike the ones that piss me off by principle. Any changes in fondness based on personal interactions like Merita will be undisclosed for safety reasons."
I check for any divine smites before getting back to the conversation. I swear my credit balance dropped by one.
[Master treats the deities as he would mortals. Curious.]
I only shrug.
Advertisement
- In Serial47 Chapters
Trickster's Tale
Be careful when demanding reparations from gods. They rarely own up to their mistakes. Due to a goddess's shortsighted error, Perry finds himself transported to a distant Universe with new proportions and a different identity. Instead of cowering before the deity, he demands she opens a portal home or provides reparations for him and his bereaved family. Unfortunately, standing up for himself doesn't earn Perry respect. Instead, she curses him with cowardice, limiting his combat and magical potential. Little does the goddess know that nothing can stand in the way of Perry's sheer will. If brute strength and arcane might won't get him the justice he desires, wit and creativity will. Perry's first target? A goblin shaman. Then, the world. And so begins, the bard's ballad. Trickster's Tale (Book 1): Is That A Lute In Your Pocket will release on Kindle Unlimited on the 10th of May.Due to KU's exclusivity rules, I've had to take most of book 1 down.Book 1 Bard's Ballad takes place in the same extended Universe as my other story, The Houndsman. It's set on a distant 'disk', though. As a result, the magic system is unique in comparison and has a harder LitRPG system. While the story utilises stats, it doesn't take them seriously and occasionally makes fun of regular LitRPG mechanics.
8 439 - In Serial63 Chapters
The Tale Of A Slayer
Experience the life of a hero reject, Yuuya Nakajima. He was summoned along with a few of his classmates. Or not. Yuuya was summoned by accident. And he has to find a means to survive being thrust into world of magic and swords as a powerless high schooler. Word count: 2000-3000+ . —————————————————————————————————————– Proud member of: Writers to the End- WriTE —————————————————————————————————————– NOTE: This fiction is currently undergoing an overhaul/rewrite, after which regular releases will resume. I apologize for the Hiatus. >///
8 267 - In Serial6 Chapters
Relentless
Pennywise x ReaderIt all started on a Friday night..
8 202 - In Serial32 Chapters
Tour Guide | Steve Rogers ✓
"Hi, my name is Quinn, and I'll be your tour guide today."STEVE ROGERS X OCTWISTS OF FATES SERIESCAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLDIER - AVENGERS ENDGAMECOVER BY @-saoirses
8 243 - In Serial15 Chapters
Prisoner 138 {The 100} [1]
Ariella Coyn was born in space, and shes lived there her whole life. She's been a prisoner on the Ark since she was 11 for a crime she didn't commit. Now a year later all 100 juvenile criminals are being sent to the ground and she's the youngest among them. She's shy, quiet and keeps to herself at first as she doesn't know anyone, but once she gets to talking to Bellamy Blake, the stowaway who committed a heinous crime to protect his sister and Jasper Jordan the geek with the goggles she starts to come out of her shell a little more. The 100 are forced to build a camp from the ground up with no help from any adults. Tensions build as drama break out among the teens over who is in charge but that's the least of their worries as they soon realize they're not alone on the radiation-soaked planet known as Earth.{Ranked #1 in the100cwRanked #1 in theCWRanked #1 in Bellamy}{Completed in 2016}
8 103 - In Serial18 Chapters
3 Ninjas Knuckle Up [Part 2)
Changed model 💙2nd book! ( used to be Max and Ellen changed it to Zoey and Blaze officially! Next book to my old 3 ninjas original.Credits to owner of Knuckle Up besides the scenes, lines and characters I addRated #3 for colt!
8 101

