Jay opened his tired eyes. He let out a long yawn, blinked the sleep away, and looked around. The living room he found himself in wasn’t his. The pastel blue wall was not to his mom’s taste for sure.

Beside him were the waking forms of his best friend, the Superjock, and some spooky dude Jay met last night at Queen YoAnna’s inner-city mansion. They were all dressed weirdly, wearing busted, ripped, and dirtied medieval fantasy gear. Like they’d gone to a convention or went out for a drunk LARP party.

The strangest darn thing was on Jay’s chest, too.

A little doll-sized girl slept curled up on top of him. She had dark skin, purplish hair dotted with specks of white, elven ears, and spurts of purple energy shooting out from her back randomly. When he looked closer, her lips seemed purple, accentuating a prettiness that was otherworldly.

She looked almost lifelike, but that couldn’t be possible. Jay was a little weird, but he knew the distinction between fantasy and real life. Then the little doll girl opened her eyes and slowly uncurled on her own like a living thing.

The whites of her eyes were black. At the center were purple irises looking straight at Jay, studying him curiously. Seeing her little eyes reminded him of his reflection from a phone camera.

Then most of Jay’s memories started snapping back in place like a puzzle. Some pieces came slower. Others came quickly. It was like getting to reexperience the events from the party leading up to now from an outsider’s perspective. It was mind-boggling. And kind of awesome.

For some reason, he was super hazy about what happened after Kleo took out the dungeon master.

Oh well, he could figure that stuff out later.

“Hey, shorty,” Jay said with a grin.

“You were a better mattress when you didn’t talk, Master Jay,” Kleo said. “Your breath stinks something awful.”

Jay clenched his jaw and swallowed a laugh. He’d have to ask someone nearby for a piece of gum.

Carefully, he offered his hand as a platform for Kleo to get on before he sat up.

She jumped into the air instead. Purplish energy wings that acted similar to thrusters blasted out of her back. An eerie purple glow appeared in an orb around Jay and quickly faded out of view. Without further effort, Kleo floated around upside down like she was in Zero-G.

“Sweet, I got the gravity affinity like you, Master,” Kleo said. “It doesn’t seem hard for me to pick up on.”

“You know what’s also sweet,” Jay said as everyone started getting to their feet.

“What?”

“I freaking told you I’ll get you out. I told you! I told you! I told you!” Jay sang, jabbing a finger at Kleo’s little chest.

The little gravity-bending creature glared down at the offending finger. Then like a devilish predator, she pounced and revealed a set of sharp teeth that dug in. Jay stopped cheering and started hollering as he tried to shake Kleo off.

She fell away after drawing a little blood, orbited from one side to the other, and stopped to hover over his shoulder. “Beware, Master Jay, that I’m the [Slayer of Tyranny].” She leaned close to his ear. “So don’t be a tyrant, or I’ll be very cross with you.”

Jay gulped. He may be the master, but Kleo was probably the most dangerous toy alive.

Wait, was she even a toy anymore?

Every part of her was living tissue. Was she a living toy now, like a successful Pinocchio girl? That sounded like some deep philosophy Mike would eat up. Now Jay wanted to get high and ponder these existential questions, let alone all the crazy stuff he’d experienced leading up to this.

“Kek. I need therapy,” Jay said with a chuckle.

“Uh,” Dennis said. “Is it over?”

“Something’s wrong,” Mike said. “There’s a gap in my memory. We were discussing the culmination of what led to our victory over the dungeon master. Then we started… ugh.”

“Don’t think too hard about it,” Frank said.

“But I can’t not think about what’s missing,” Mike said. “I was anticipating this so much. Jay was going. To. Do. Something. Major.”

Mike’s face paled, and Jay’s heart ached. The [Mage] didn’t take kindly to the missing memory.

“I know, but if someone’s messing with our memories, we’ll have to figure it out later.” Frank raised the nub of his left arm ending inches below his shoulder. “We all got shit to deal with. I have a long debriefing ahead of me. And you guys have families to get to. It should be around–”

“Late morning before noon,” Mike answered. “We’ve spent somewhere between thirty-two to forty hours in there. That is four to five hours out here.”

“What about all of the loot?” Dennis asked. “And should I evolve my rank now?”

“The loot’s wherever YoAnna prepped for storage. And let’s wait on the rank up,” Frank suggested. “I think there’s a strike team staging outside. They probably want to investigate the disappearance of the anomaly.”

Jay had been tracking them and loads of other things outside. It was overwhelming how far he’d progressed with all his Attributes and Skills, on top of what he’d gained from having Kleo as a familiar. He would need a quiet sit-down to sift through the notifications.

The silence drew Jay back to the now and then. Everyone was studying him and Kleo, especially her.

“What?” she asked defensively.

Dennis cracked a grin. “I don’t know what’s going on anymore, but I’m glad you’re out here with us, Kleo. It wouldn’t feel right without the fifth crawler.”

“Big Galoot, you never know what’s going on.” Kleo snorted. “And when did I become a crawler?”

“It’s integral for every good adventuring group to have a comedy relief,” Mike said, playing his part of smart guy with half the enthusiasm. “It’s been quite dark toward the end of the dungeon crawl. It might get darker before it gets better in the so-called real world. While our minds have been tampered with.”

“Okay, other than our minds getting tampered with, what do you mean things will get darker?” Jay asked. “We won. We got lots of loot somewhere we’ll do whatever with. And we can evolve to Rank 2. Lots of great news to me.”

Mike sighed and shared a wistful look with Frank. It was a little creepy when those two connected.

“Oh, crap, we’re in the real world,” Dennis said, his face paling.

Jay looked around, confused. He couldn’t sense anything gravitational in the metaphorical sense here. He could sense the gravity of heavy emotions just fine and the gravity of the people and objects in the room. But he could’ve sworn he had another layer to his sense of gravity, which wasn’t working.

Jay felt a little muddled without it.

His mood plummeted.

Kleo looked around at them like they were idiots.

“Bozos!” Kleo called. “I’ve never seen such a sorry lot of crawlers after they’ve won the biggest event of their freaking lives! Fine, I’ll let you saps go boo-hoo and shed tears because of your traumas, but when I come around and see you again, you better get ready. Cuz I’m gonna whip you into shape now that I’m out!”

“I lost an arm,” Frank said.

“Great! I like that angle. Tell them at the pub how you survived a boss-related explosion, stood your ass up because you’re the type that treats losing an arm like a mere scratch, and cry out your battle line. Dungeon Crawlers! Kill and loot! All the wrenches will go crazy for it.”

“What does a wrench have to do with a pub?” Dennis asked. “Oh, wait, I caught that a little late.”

“You sweet, innocent, heroic thing you,” Kleo said. “I adore you so much, yes I do, yes I do.”

Dennis laughed.

Jay broke into laughter, and Mike did the same.

Frank suppressed a smile that wanted to cross his face. It was a dreary, tired one, but seeing the Spook attempt a smile was good for the feels. They had a good half minute of humor before reality crashed in and reminded them why the real world took precedence.

A black-clad tactical team dressed in sleek hazmat gear stormed the house. They pointed their tricked-out rifles at the teens and ordered them to get down.

Frank and Mike did as told.

Dennis stared at them with a deer-in-headlights look and stayed on his feet. The soldiers rushed the Superjock and tried to force him down. Their attempts mostly failed.

Dennis shrugged off ten men all at once. The eleventh soldier added to the standing dogpile was barely enough to snap Dennis out of his surprise and do as ordered.

Jay stayed on his feet knowingly and retreated into a corner as the soldiers corralled him. His eyes glowed a rebellious purple under the glaring high-powered flashlights shining from under the gun barrels.

Jay didn’t like their rude approach. He certainly didn’t like the soldier holding a plastic container with a lockable latch. Kleo didn’t like it either and went a step further than glare at the encroaching soldier with the box.

His new familiar responded in a way that surprised Jay. She somehow siphoned from Jay’s mana and used one of his Skills as her own.

She flicked her little finger at the offending soldier with the plastic container. A purplish aura surrounded the man. He and Kleo went up with an application of Jay’s [Dance Floor Relativity].

The soldier crashed into the ceiling in a confused heap. Kleo plopped onto the ceiling like landing on the floor, staying right above Jay’s head. The affected man thrashed around in delirium as his comrades panicked.

A lot of shouting, expletives, and threats got hurled at Jay and Kleo. They either stopped their magical actions and got to the ground or else.

Jay narrowed his eyes. The glow his face emitted was like two bold purple lines.

Kleo let out a derisive snort and cricked her little neck. She was game to fight.

The guns would’ve scared Jay before entering the dungeon. They didn’t do much for him now. He was aware he could still be shot to death. But that depended on if the soldiers could handle him before he screwed them over with gravity powers.

It was tempting to try.

“Luckrun,” Frank barked, cutting through the noise. “Let these men and women do their jobs.”

“Then why do I feel like we’re getting targeted when we should be celebrated?” Jay asked. “We did our jobs, didn’t we?”

“They’re scared, there are too many unknowns, and we can do things no human should,” Frank said. “I understand their mind frame, but I know they could only push so far. Let’s play this carefully. Please.”

Hearing a please from Frank cooled Jay down. Without the aggression, Jay felt a little rattled that he was ready to fight human soldiers like they were dungeon monsters. He shakily motioned for Kleo to return to him and leave the soldier sitting dumbfoundedly on the ceiling alone.

“You’re gonna have to catch your friend here when I release him,” Kleo said.

The soldiers obliged. Kleo released the man affected by [Dance Floor Relativity], dropping him into awaiting arms that nearly buckled the catchers.

It was ridiculous how simple the Skill had been to maintain on the man through Kleo. There was a helpful combination between Kleo’s new nature mitigating mana cost and the lack of magical defense in the soldiers.

“Nobody touches Kleo without her consent,” Jay said. “She’s my familiar. She stays with me, she goes where I go, and she’s not to be harmed or put in a fucking box. Or else.”

“Be gentle with my master,” Kleo said. “He is the one and only I’ll let reign over me. All who dare harm him shall suffer my wrath, for I will brook no tyranny without consequence.”

A subtle ripple of gravitational energy passed through the house. It distorted the air, shook up the soldiers, and slightly bent the space as if the room was squeezing them closer to the center of the disturbance: the [Freak] and his familiar.

Their declaration weighted promise, the potential of consequence if any man or woman dared cross the two. Just like that, the soldiers acted with more professionalism and less hostility. The one with the box radioed a superior to nix the plan to capture Kleo.

Frank, Mike, and Dennis were allowed to stand.

“I wonder,” Mike said, “if we’re ready for the greater dungeon that is our home.”

“Compared to the Toyreveler Dungeon?” Frank asked thoughtfully. “I don’t know. This dungeon can get even scarier.”

“It’s not a dungeon,” Dennis muttered as the soldiers gently escorted the crawlers into the hallway. “This is the real world. This is real life again. Nothing changes back here. Nothing.”

“Of course, something changed,” Jay said, feeling a little better with the wary regard from the soldiers. “We’ve changed.” He pointed up at Kleo, who orbited lazily around his head. “And there’s her.”

The other boys didn’t have much to say to that. They listened to a squad leader radio for clearance to take the crawlers out. They waited about half an hour in more awkward silence with a bunch of nervous, spooked, guarded, and amazed adults. Then they got the radio call to come out.

They exited the family house, perhaps expecting bright noonday. That was what Jay hoped for. But his Perception had told him otherwise before he saw with his own eyes. They returned to white, sanitized walls and steel pipes enclosing them in a quarantined space of tunnels and rooms.

“Sir, when will we be released?” Mike asked the nearest escort politely.

The man didn’t answer.

“I can try to make him talk, Mike?” Kleo said. “If that’s okay with Master Jay.”

“I’ve kinda laid down the ground rules for us,” Jay said uneasily. “It’ll be wrong to walk that back. So, let’s not push it further than we already have, Kleo.”

Kleo sighed, aggravated and bored. She altered her orbiting patterns to circle high over Jay’s shoulder and low around his other hip.

Her movements mesmerized some of the soldiers.

Jay could tell they wanted to talk about her to him. Even the box guy Kleo sent to the ceiling was showing curiosity.

Someone radioed the squad leader. They had the clearance to move. They walked through a series of tunnels and rooms before stopping at a place with holding cells.

“I am not surprised,” Frank said.

“Frank,” Kleo said. “I brook no tyranny. This feels like tyranny! Tyranny, tyranny, tyranny!”

“Say that word enough times, and maybe Mike might forget its meaning,” Jay said jokingly to lighten the mood.

“I am strangely inclined to commit absurd levels of violence,” Mike admitted honestly. “But I think that’s due to the collective experience of fighting monsters and someone going into my head without permission. So, I find it very disturbing to be put in a cell when we’re supposed to work together.”

“Frank, help us,” Dennis asked.

“Agent Frank, we need your cooperation,” one of the soldiers said. “Have your associates calm down and sit in the waiting unit. This is for their safety. An officer will arrive soon to field your questions.”

Frank stood between a wall and a hard place. Out of everyone who deserved a break, the teen missing an arm because he chose to help his friends instead of taking a quick way out should get some mode of accommodation.

Jay found it disgusting that they completely ignored his missing arm when he clearly walked into the situation with two of them. Jay felt the pressure mounting on Frank’s shoulders, too. It was more crushing than anything Jay had seen recently, even while taking on the dungeon master.

“Everyone, let’s wait in the cells,” Jay said slowly. He gave Kleo a look not to question him.

Kleo fumed silently, promising petty revenge upon her master for making her accept this. Jay accepted the future torment. Not a small price to pay with a familiar like Kleo, but he wanted to help Frank, who gave up so much for them.

Frank met Jay’s eyes and gave him a silent thank you.

Jay smiled wearily and walked into the cage first. They didn’t take away any of their gear or weapons. So, that was promising. But if pop culture references were an indicator of how the government treated people, there was a chance that the party would be held here for a while.

“Nah,” Jay said.

“Nah?” Dennis asked.

“I give it half an hour,” Jay said.

“For what?” Dennis asked.

“For YoAnna Sainte-Rhythms, the Godling of Challenge and Change, to make her eventual arrival,” Mike explained.

Frank shifted nervously in the corner. The boys plus Kleo waited five minutes in dazed, slightly bewildered silence.

“Half an hour, right?” Dennis asked, shifting back and forth uncomfortably on the bench.

“Yeah,” Jay said with complete confidence.

It felt like an hour passed, and Yoanna still hadn’t shown up. Mike would ask their guards every fifteen minutes when one of their so-called officers would show. They kept telling the [Mage] to be patient; the officers would arrive soon.

“Half an hour, huh?” Dennis asked, unamused. “If this keeps going, and my dad’s expecting me, it’s going to be hell.”

Jay shrank in the corner. He looked over to Frank for an explanation. The spook was leaning his remaining arm on his knee and staring at his missing left. Jay didn’t dare disturb him.

“Have you looked at the notifications, Master?” Kleo asked.

“I’ve been holding off,” Jay said. “I’d thought it would be better after we get somewhere to destress and chill out. Have a drink and some fresh food. Then we can scroll through it and celebrate.” Jay lowered his head. “I thought coming back would be fun and be a good introduction for you. Sorry if I’m failing you.”

Kleo shifted her orbital path and bumped into the side of Jay’s head. “You’re so silly, Master. Just because things don’t always work out doesn’t mean you’ve failed. I’ll repay you for making me brook tyranny, but I trust things will be alright in this dimension of yours. I’m not dying anymore, so we have time to see the better parts.”

Jay pushed aside his growing concern and put on a smile. Kleo had a solid point. Things would get better sooner or later. It would be easy to follow the trend and let his spirit get dampened here.

Instead, he got to his feet and dropped his weapon belt, knapsack, and tattered cloak.

He stretched and started a routine top rock warm-up to limber his muscles and joints. He flowed into a few basic dance moves that were a staple of his, but nothing special. Just a few things he’d been able to do since he was a kid.

“Huh,” Kleo said, orbiting around him in big loops. “You really can dance.”

“It’s a little awkward without a beat,” Jay said. “Mike, do you mind?”

“I don’t know if I can entertain you on this one, Jay,” Mike said with a sigh.

“Please, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal?” Jay asked. “We have nothing else to do, so we might as well burn the time up with a little fun. Unless you want to go over system stuff while here?”

Jay waved his arm at the cell around them.

Mike cupped his hands around his mouth and performed a solid, catchy beat. Jay continued his warm-up with the beat until he grasped the difference between old Jay and new Jay.

His Agility was both a boon and a curse. Everything was easier. Way easier. His Agility reduced the effort for a backflip. He could flip five times in the air without touching the ground. No Skills were needed.

Now Jay had to figure out what was challenging and still eye-catching to progress in his art. He’d have to work that out later. For now, he upped the complexity of his moves. He started living up to part of his infamy as Rooftop Weirdo.