《Darker Than Love | ꪜ》Darker Than Love | 44
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"Why do you keep saying that?!" I wheezed out as I glared up at him. Blood dripped down from my busted lip and it took everything in me to not cry out in pain once again. I feared the state of my body at the moment, considering that these men wouldn't stop beating the shit out of me I was probably as bruised as a stale banana.
I needed to find any type of humour in this situation because if I didn't I would surely lose my head. I wouldn't be able to cope with my reality or comprehend the situation I was in. I still haven't been able to fully comprehend what was going on.
Partly due to all the drugs being injected into me and just being straight in denial of the fact that. . .of the fact that I'm here. "What are you talking about cupcake?" He inquired, his eyes boring into mine. I flickered my eyes shut and tried my hardest to muffle the whimper threatening to escape my lips.
I can't show him that I'm weak. I can't show them that I'm weak because if I have any chance of surviving, it's by showing them I can. "Why do you keep saying you love me yet you can sit there and watch these men beat me to a pulp. Hear me scream and cry for them to stop, doesn't that torment you?"
Something flashed in his eyes and by the looks of it, I could tell that my words got to him. He growled lowly and etched his face closer to mine. He placed his finger on my lip and I flinched in pain. His eyes softened for a second before they hardened.
He slowly swiped his finger under my lip, wiping away the blood. "It's me or you, I love my life Michelle, more than I love anything or anyone. It's how I survive, I'm selfish, we've established that. Don't try digging for an answer you won't like." He said, his eyes never leaving mine as he pulled away and sauntered back to his chair.
Before I could reply the doors swung open and he came strutting in. Clad in a suit as if he were going to work, but wait, apparently this is his work. "What are you guys talking about? Is my daughter still pestering you, Kaleb?" He chuckled deeply, his eyes swivelling towards me.
"I'm not and will never be your daughter you sick psychopathic bastard! Now I know where I inherited my dark side from, it's from you, you sick motherfucker! If you could do this to your own flesh and blood I seriously can't put anything past you, asshole."
"Ah, always with the potty mouth Michelle, it doesn't have a good look on you and nor did it have a good look on Deborah." He tutted, scolding me. I bit down onto my lip hard and even though it pained me to do so it was to keep the stifling sob inside.
But I couldn't hold it in long enough before I broke down again. So much for not being weak. It pained me, thinking about her, how scared she was in her last moments, knowing that her father was the one who killed her.
Her own father.
I've heard these stories before, of parents murdering their own kids but it's always a family annihilator who ends up killing himself in the end as well. But this? This was a twisted reality. There were no financial problems, no fear of divorce and separation, nothing. This was just a case of a man willing to kill anyone in his path for his business.
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My own father, the man who raised me, the man who kissed me to bed every night after reading me bedtime stories. The man I hoped to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.
"You know I had to kill her Michelle, no reason crying now, you've already grieved her death. She knew too much, cheating on her mother and her finding out was one thing, but finding out that I was involved in illegal activities was another thing. She would have sung like a canary and we both know that I had to shut her up."
"Y-you didn't have to kill her, you d-didn't. Y-you're just a narcissistic prick w-who didn't wanna get caught so instead you m-murdered your child! Your CHILD!? What- I- I don't even, I can't-" I broke down once again and for a moment I couldn't breathe as I desperately gasped for air, trying to grasp onto any hope of catching it in my lungs.
"Oh you have it all wrong, Kaleb killed her. Yeah, I was behind it but he did the act. I couldn't get my hands dirty, Michelle, c'mon. Thirty-six times, impressive huh? Believe me, I wanted her to grow up and be successful, just like you Michelle, but she ruined it and you ruined your chance too."
"So much f-for I love you, Michelle, I-I didn't hurt her I swear, fucking psychopaths, there's a special place in hell for both of you. And all of this f-for what? Because I didn't live up t-to your expectations and became th-the good girl Deborah wasn't? Because I was going down t-the wrong path, y-you're gonna kill me for that?"
He tutted softly, his head shaking slowly as he stared down at me, an unreadable expression on his face. Who was this man? This isn't my father. This is the man who slapped me across the face with no hesitation.
The man who murdered his daughter. The man who all this time was a freaking kingpin, running everything illegal in this town, right under our noses. A man hungry for success. A man who didn't know the definition of love and empathy.
"It's not just wanting you to go in the right direction. Being involved with Mason and Kaleb would have eventually led you to me and I'd have to kill you either way. I gave you a chance to move on when I made Mason end things with you but then you fell into Kaleb's trap which showed me that whenever an unstable boy comes your way you'll fall right into his hands.
You'll continue going down this dark path which will lead you to a life of crime that will lead you to me! I am the kingpin of DC Michelle, we would have crossed paths. I am your father, I ant wants best for you, I don't want my daughter in prison or selling drugs on the streets.
So I can't have a failure out there. People know who you are because I'm your father, and people will kill you because you are my daughter. Indoors, safe and sound doing what you're supposed to do, I know you're safe. But on the streets with Mason or Kaleb? Well, I might as well kill you myself."
So his reason for wanting to murder me is because he doesn't want me to be like him and find out who he is!? Because he can't cope with me being who I want to be!? Normal parents send their kids to boarding school, boot camp, anything to set them straight!
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But he opts to kill me?
At the moment I didn't even care about myself, all I could think about was her. And all those sleepless nights reliving that memory implanted into my head for the rest of my life. If I was bad before that, it definitely made me worse, and it was his fault.
It's his fault I'm messed up, and that angered me.
"YOU DESERVE TO ROT IN HELL! Do you know w-what it felt like t-to beg my half d-dead sister to stay alive just for o-one moment! Just to hang o-on for one last breath!? Do you know what i-it was like finding her body!? I was- I'm traumatized to this day! Riddled with nightmares from that day!
You don't deserve to be called a father! Y-you deserve to die, to suffer! I Hate you, I FUCKING HATE YOU! Y-YOU TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME, Y-you t-took everything away from me you a-asshole and then you make i-it seem like I- like I messed my own life!? YOU DID THIS! WHY!? WHY DADDY . . .why? What did she ever do t-than be a loving daughter- what did she do to deserve this!?
Daddy please. . .just tell me why? You c-can kill me, you can kill me for whatever reason I don't care because you took the one thing that was worth living for, my sister, my flesh- y-your flesh and blood. Just please tell me why you killed her?"
He paused, and for a moment it looked like his eyes were glossing over with tears. But my eyes deceived me like they always do. I always see the good in people no matter how many times they've shown me they're monsters.
"I already told you, Michelle, she knew too much."
~~~
When I made it to the door I realized that it was already open which was odd. The only way this door could be open is if someone is heading out and forgot something then headed back inside. I frowned deeply and stepped inside before closing the door behind me.
It couldn't be anyone because there weren't any cars in the driveway. Mom and dad both left for work this morning and they should be back in a while. So who the hell left the door open. "M-mom! Dad, are you guys there!?"
I sauntered into the family room and almost immediately my eyes fell onto the glass of whisky sat on the glass center table. It appeared half-drunk and dad hardly drinks in the morning so it has to be from recently, which means he's home.
"Dad are you there?!"
I ascended the stairs and hightailed towards my dad's study first. This house was huge which meant he could be anywhere, in the garden, the basement, the third floor. But something just didn't feel right.
No one was in the study so with a huff I pivoted on my heels and left. As I was walking down the hallway I couldn't help but halt in my footsteps when I heard a soft muffle coming from down the hall. I frowned and slowly trekked towards it, wondering what that sound was.
It sounded like someone was crying softly. As if they couldn't get it past their lips. My heart hammered in my chest rapidly and I whipped out my bottle of mace. As I grew closer towards the sound I realized it was coming from the bathroom.
Hesitantly I pushed the door open, but I wasn't prepared for the scene before me. And then, a gut-wrenching scream escaped my lips as my eyes glued down onto the body at my foot, blood pooled around her like a broken faucet.
"Deborah, d-deborah! oh my god, oh my god, Deborah, what do I do, oh my god d-deborah." My shaking hands went to her chest and I pressed down onto the wound, only to see that this wasn't the only one. Her shirt was soaked in blood and I flailed my arms around, too mind blocked to know what to do.
"Deborah, t-this isn't funny!" I sobbed as I grasped her face in my hand, unable to recognize her clearly by the blood smeared all over her face and my blurry vision. "No. no. no. no. no," I muttered frantically as my trembling hands rummaged inside my bag, searching for my phone.
"Michelle," I snapped my head towards her and sobbed loudly as her hand softly caressed mine. She gasped for air and parted her lips, trying her hardest to form a sentence. "K-It's Ka-"
"No, shh, don't talk, p-please just hold on, Deborah, don't fucking d-die on me, okay! Please don't die on me," I cried out as I fished out my phone. Her eyes flickered shut and open slowly and I quickly dialled 911, afraid that she'd close her eyes and never open them again.
"911, what's your emergency?"
I snatched a towel from above my head and pressed it down onto her stomach, trying to salvage all the blood that poured from her body. I know it won't be much help but she'll bleed to death, she can't die. My sister can't die.
"M–my sister she's bleeding to death, I-I don't know what happened if it was a b-break in but s-she's bleeding to death, I need an ambulance here right now! Fuck s-she's gonna d-die, my sister is gonna die."
"Okay, ma'am can you please give me an address, an ambulance will be on there way as soon as possible," I managed to give the dispatcher the address through my sobs and gasps. Deborah was still somewhat responsive and I crawled closer towards her and gently cradled her head in my lap.
"Please, stay with me, Deborah, please don't die, please. please. please," I whispered softly, cradling her in my arms, sobbing so hard I could barely hear the words leaving her lips. "Mi-It's K-Kaleb."
"What?" Before her words could even register in my mind she began to cough up blood. My eyes widened and I froze in fear, "Deborah, Deborah, no, stay with me, please. Don't leave me please!" And suddenly a weak chuckle escaped her lips.
Her finger tickled mine softly and I grabbed her hand, holding onto her tightly, afraid that she'd leave me. "Kaleb and d-Michelle y-you n-need to run it's da-" and suddenly she stopped. Her breath hitched in her throat and her eyes widened as she peered up at me.
"No, no, fuck no!" I cried out as I began to tap her face lightly, hoping that she'd stop, hoping that she'd hold on to dear life. "Deborah please d-don't do this to me, please." I sobbed softly as I lowered my forehead down onto hers.
A single tear trickled down her cheek as her eyes bored into mine as if in her last moment she needed to make sure our souls connected once again. It was as if she were speaking to me with her eyes, saying I love you one last time, before her last breath.
"Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me." I chanted, my head shaking in disbelief. I never cared for anyone in the world as much as I do for my sister. I love her more than myself, more than life itself, if I lose her, if she dies, a part of me dies too.
Her lifeless eyes stared up into mine, and beneath the tears and blood all I could see was my sister and I, sat down together, a blanket was thrown over us, a bowl of popcorn in hand as we watched our favourite Disney movies.
I saw beneath the gore, beneath the horror. One last time, I saw everything I missed. Everything I will never get again.
"Deborah. . ."
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