"You have everything?" I ask Jackson as I walk into his already packed away room.

I look around, the walls are wiped clean of all posters and pictures he once had. His bed is stripped of the bedding. Almost all his clothes are cleared from his closet along with his dresser.

The room is completely bare, I feel tears sting my eyes as I look at what was once my big brothers room. Now it's no ones, it's vacant of all occupancy.

The thought of being in this house alone really hits hard. Even though, Brittni will probably be over a lot to keep me company, it's never going to be the same.

As far as the payments for the house, my parents will still be taking care of that. I hate them for it. I really do. They should be here for me while my big brother slash best friend leaves for college.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so proud of my brother. He deserves this after all the shit he's gone through as well, it's just hard. We've been together since I was born and now he's leaving, and going to be so far away. It's scary.

Like I said before, my parents are taking care of the bills and sending money straight to my bank account. A lot of money for that matter. Almost five-thousand dollars a month. It's a little much but I guess since they can't be here to give me proper love they have the money that can. And don't think it will be going unnoticed.

"Yea, I think so," he sighs while running a hand through his hair.

Him going all the way to Seattle hurts really bad. That's half way across the country, I'm going to miss him so much. But again and again he tells me he'll visit as much as he can.

"That's good," I choke on a sob. I really don't want him to see me cry. It'll make him feel guilty, and I never want him to feel guilty for leaving me, ever. He needs to go live his dream out and find who he is.

"Nikki..." his voice cracks and next thing I know his strong arms are around my shoulders and his face is buried in my neck and hair. I wrap my arms around his torso and bury my face into his shoulder as well.

I break down.

I let it all out, all of my tears all my frustrations. After he's gone I have no one. No family left. Yes, Brittni is very close to a sister, and Karen is practically a mom to me, but I have no real relatives. It makes you feel alone even though you have loved ones around you.

Ever since prom last year, Colten and I haven't seen each other again. Jackson said something about Colten leaving for California a week before now. I heard him talking on the phone. I know, bad Nikki for eavesdropping.

Like Colten and I agreed, we went our separate ways after that night. Of course it hurt that I didn't have him this summer but I'm happy for him. Even though I couldn't eat for a month without throwing up whatever hit the pit of my stomach, I will always love him.

It's better this way, now he can have the full college experience without worrying about me. He's free to do whatever he wants. Though it hurts to think of him sleeping with other girls, he's allowed to do that too. He's a free man.

"Oh..." I hear Brittni's hoarse voice say from the door way. I then feel her arms wrap around me from behind. The feeling of being loved takes over my senses. Its one of the best feelings in the world. I have three people that love me. They're all I need.

"I'm sorry..." I croak, pulling away from him and wipe my eyes with my hands. When I look up to Jackson his eyes are shining with tears as well.

"Don't be sorry, Nik." his voice cracks again. A lump forms in my throat at seeing my brother cry.

I've never seen him cry, not when he broke his wrist when he was five, or when he got his wisdom teeth taken out when he was thirteen, not until now. It hurts to know that I'm making him upset.

"I can't...I'm going to miss you so much." The lump in my throat only grows more. "More than you know."

"Soon enough this will be normal, sure it'll be hard at first but it'll all turn out alright in the end. Brittni will always be by your side, you have people that love you Nikki, you still have a family. You just have to see the light in the situation," he explains and wipes the tears away from my face, giving me a sad smile.

"I love you," I breath out and bury my face in his chest once again. Breathing in his big brother scent I have become so accustomed to.

"I love you more, I'll always be here for you," he says into my hair. We stand like this for a few minutes. Brittni left in the middle from crying.

Her and my brother are still trying to make it work. And I hope for their sake that that is exactly what happens. They belong together, both mentally, emotionally, and physically. They're the perfect example of true love. The way they look at each other is enough to bring tears to one's eyes.

We both head out to the front yard where the bed of his truck is filled with tons of cardboard boxes. I take a deep breath of fresh air, letting the sun kiss my skin.

Brittni and Jackson have their own little conversation while I wait patiently for them to break apart. They had their last night together, yesterday and therefore they have said most their goodbyes. I really do hope everything works out for them.

"Drive safely big bro," I pat his back and he stares at me with sadness.

"I will little sis," he sighs and brings me into one last embrace. We've been doing a lot of hugging the past week, and even more brother sister bonding time the past two months. He wanted to spend as much time with me before he went to Seattle for college. "Love you."

"Love you, too." I break away from the embrace and he kisses me on the forehead. He then kisses Brittni goodbye and she comes to stand next to me as he hops into his truck.

I can't keep my eyes off of his vehicle as he peels out of the driveway, and down the road, then eventually out of sight.

I won't cry.

"Bye big bro," I whisper longingly. Brittni hears and wraps her arms around me, comforting me in a way that only she can. At least I'll have Brittni these next two years of Jackson and I being apart before I graduate. She'll make these first few weeks and months a lot easier.

I know that on the outside she tries to act brave, but I can see the brokenness she feels as my brother leave us behind.

It'll get better, it will.

I know it.

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