I don't want to go to school. I don't want to have to see Colten's face after having cried the entire night before. I don't want those horrible feelings back in my system after I tried so hard to tame them, but I know that no matter how hard I try, they'll always come back.

Brittni drives me to school today, looking similar to me. We both haven't tried with our outfits today, or appearance in any sense, and that's because of yesterday.

I think Brittni is just upset, not exactly mad at Jackson. I'm upset, but also heart broken by what Colten had said to me. I just need to get through this day, it doesn't help that I have freaking detention afterwards.

"He keeps texting me," Brittni tells me. "I feel like I should answer, but if I do he'll just think I'm mad anyways."

Jackson started texting Brittni this morning, after we had left, but she hasn't answered. He's still hung over and most likely won't be at school today, but he's sorry for what happened. What really gets me, is that he's telling Brittni he's sorry for beating up Colten but not me. Does that even make sense? It was my boyfriend that he injured and yet he doesn't deem it right to ask how I'm feeling.

"He deserves to be ignored," I mumble, looking out the window. I'm pissed at him for what happened yesterday. So much for giving us his blessing. I understand why he was mad, disgusted or whatever, but to do that, it's just not cool.

Brittni pulls into the school parking lot, both of us getting out and walking towards the building. I can see the questioning glances by my peers as I walk without Colten. Great. Just more gossip to be strewn about the school, I bet Angelique is thrilled about this one.

We stop at our favorite tree, the weather cold without winter jackets, but I can barely feel the wind nipping at my flushed cheeks. I can't go in that school yet, not until I have to. I need air.

It's when I see Colten's car pulling in do I get anxious. My heart starts pumping out of control, my face becoming hot and my hands get clammy. My eyes follow his car, watching as it parks before he hops out.

I feel tears prick my eyes when I notice he's not alone.

Hold it in, girl. Hold it in.

Angelique hops out of his truck, meeting him at the front end where he swings his arm over her shoulders. At first, I thought he was doing if to get me mad, but the way he laughs when she says something says otherwise. I feel like my heart is literally breaking. Air is hard to get into my lungs because of the damned lump in my throat. It hurts. So bad.

"Nikki," Brittni tries to coax me out of my spot. "Let's go."

I let out a choked sob as he bends down and kisses her forehead, not waiting for Brittni to catch up before I'm running into the school, and then the bathroom stall.

How could he do this to me?

My hand goes over my mouth once I make it into the safety of the bathroom, my eyes letting the tears pour out of them without a stop. Brittni bursts through the door, frowning and throwing her arms around me. I bury my face in her shoulder, my heart feeling like its shattered into millions of tiny pieces.

"I do-don't get it..." I sob. The one person I thought actually loved and would do anything for me is now with another girl, a day after leaving me. I didn't even think we broke up, how stupid is that? He left, saying he thinks he made a mistake and I had some how thought he just needed time. He probably slept with Angelique that same night. The thought brings me to a whole other round of tears. They won't stop.

"I'm so sorry, Nikki," Brittni coos, her own voice thick with emotion that she tries to hold back for my sake. "I'm so so sorry."

Nothing will ever go right for me.

•••

I skipped Spanish. There was no way I could go there. I didn't care if I missed something so important that I can't make it up, I wasn't going in there if I was offered a million dollars.

Now I sit in detention, my hour almost up. Angelique sits a couple seats in front of me. I can't help the sick feeling in my stomach every time I think about her and my Colten.

He's not yours anymore.

When I got here, I put in my earbuds and got straight to work on anything I could. I finished all my homework and did some things that aren't due for a few weeks. I would feel proud of myself if I wasn't in such a dump situation.

On top of that, I realize I never did tell anyone to come pick me up, when the teacher dismisses us. Honestly, I don't care. I'll just walk home and try to clear my head before I'm in the same house as Jackson. If he's even there.

On my way out the front door, I hear someone call my name. Luckily, it's no one I don't want to see at the moment.

"Oh," I try to smile. "Hey."

"Hey," Dustin smiles. "How are you?"

I shift on my feet. "Um, I'm good. How about you?"

If I didn't lie and said I'm not doing good, I'd have to explain why and that would no doubt lead me into a pit of depression and tears all over again. Whoever said love was amazing never saw the horrible side of it.

"I'm great," he beams. "So, what are you still doing here?"

"Detention," I nod, biting at my lip.

"Oh yeah," he runs a hand through his dark brown hair. "The Angelique thing."

I cringe at her name. "Yeah, that."

"I can't say no one enjoyed the show," he smirks. "She deserved it."

I giggle lightly. "Really? I totally thought all the guys would be angry."

"Nah," he grins. "They all think she's annoying as hell. But a good lay is a good lay. Not that I'd know."

Of course he wouldn't, Dustin doesn't sleep with random girls. He falls in love unlike many guys at my school. He's the one that you hear about in your dreams, the perfect guy that will treat you right and call you beautiful. If I wasn't in love with a jerk of a guy, I would no doubt find myself falling for Dustin. He's just that amazing.

"Do you need a ride or something?" He asks, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I shouldn't take it, I should just walk home, but the hope in his eyes make me say yes with a thankful smile.

"Cool," he grins and opens the door for me. The sun is bright as we walk towards his car, sadly, it doesn't lift my mood. It doesn't take long for us to make it to his car and when we do, I gasp.

"This is yours?" I question, eyeing the sleek red Ferrari.

"Yeah," he scratches the back of his head. "My dad is obsessed with them. Got me this when I turned sixteen."

I sigh dreamily. "That's amazing. I love these cars."

"Really?" He raises an eyebrow. "I didn't think girls really paid attention to cars."

I laugh. "When you have a brother like mine, you learn a few things."

Saying this makes a sour taste invade my mouth.

"Right," he smiles. "I forgot all about him."

I don't say anything, I just get in the car. I don't want to talk about Jackson right now, I guess that's partially me fault for bringing him into the conversation; I wish I hadn't.

Dustin switches on the heat as soon as the car is started, before peeling away from the school.

"So," Dustin starts another conversation. "How was homecoming?"

Such an amazing question to ask. Not the sarcasm. I shouldn't be so cold towards him, though, he probably doesn't know the events that took place the morning after.

"It was good," I nod. It was good, I just wish it didn't end like I knew it would.

"That's good," he nods. "I didn't see you. I was a bit disappointed."

That's weird.

"Yeah we were with James and all them." From what I know, Dustin hangs out with a completely different group than Colten and Jackson. I guess when they stopped their friendship, Dustin found a better group to hang out with. They're the good looking guys that are sweet and amazing, unfortunately, they all have girlfriends. Except Dustin of course.

"Ah," he nods in understanding. "That's cool."

I don't really know what to say so I nod again, looking out the window at passing houses. I debate whether or not I should tell him where I live, but I'm sure he still remembers. I mean we are on the same street as my house. I stand corrected also when we pull into my house that is empty of any cars. Jackson isn't here.

"Thank you for the ride, Dustin," I say thankfully. "Probably would've taken me forever if I walked."

"It's no problem," he smiles. "Text me if you ever need anything."

I grin. "Will do. Thanks again."

I shut the door and head into the house, finding it empty and cold. I close the front door and take off my shoes and bag, heading straight to the thermostat. I turn the heat up to sixty-nine degrees before grabbing my stuff and heading to my room.

It feels so lonely being here without anyone, but maybe that's a good thing. Except it leaves me with my thoughts that evidently put me in a down mood. I could call Brittni, but for all I know, she could be with Jackson. Even though, I highly doubt that, I really don't want to ruin whatever they're doing.

So instead, I take a quick shower, washing my hair that seems really greasy despite the fact I washed it last night. After that, I get in the coziest pair of pajamas I own and get in bed. I just feel so exhausted from everything and I can barely keep my eyes open.

And as I let my eyelids shut, I feel my body finally give into the well needed rest that I haven't got in days. I just hope I don't dream about him. I don't need him in my reality and dreams.

Somehow I know that's not the case.

__________________