The light shines brightly through my eyelids making me squint and moan from the horrible way of waking up. I try to get used to the agonizing light by blinking, and after a minute or two, I do.

That's when I look over at Colten who is still sleeping softly. He's so cute when he's asleep. With his eyes closed and mouth slightly parted, it's really a cute sight.

"Why do you always stare at me when I sleep?" His voice makes me jump slightly before giggling.

"You look adorable when you do." I use my hand to brush the hair off his forehead. "What can I say?"

He smiles, gripping my hips before rolling us over so that he's between my thighs, a bright look in his eyes.

"You look adorable when you sleep, too," he smiles, pecking my forehead. "Especially after recently being fucked."

I roll my eyes. "Hey, Colten."

"Hmm?" He questions, still smiling.

"Say hi to the floor." And with that, I use all the strength I have to roll him off of me and on to the floor. The carpet muffles most of the commotion, but that's not what makes me laugh. The way he lands and the surprised look is. I burst out laughing at the sight of his eyes wide and mouth agape.

"Not bad," his voice strained. "Not bad."

I watch as he gets up, taking his previous position on top of me, one of his hands trailing down my sides.

"Colten?" I question.

"Shh," he smirks. "I just want to cuddle."

I don't question him further when he pulls the blanket up to his midsection, his arms wrapping around me in an intimate way.

I always seem to forget what it's like to just cuddle with Colten. I feel like we've been together for a while, but with everything that's happened we haven't had the chance to do normal couple things. I want to be able to make memories with him that don't involve sex and fights between us.

"I love cuddling with you," he sighs, pressing a kiss to my neck where he has his head. "You're so warm and small."

I laugh. "You're hot and big."

"That's what she said," he mumbles and I nearly snack him over the head when the door bursts open.

"Nikki, I made-" Colten picks his head up slowly, making sure all of my body is covered before turning to Jackson who looks shocked, flustered and then pissed. He slams the door shut, his voice yelling through the wood. "Get the fuck down here now!"

I hear his angry, heavy footsteps leave down the stairs and I keep staring at the door. Brittni had said they went to her house last night, did he come back last night as well? Or did she lie?

I also thought I locked the door, but for some reason it's not anymore.

I groan, covering my face with my hands when I realize the good streak between my brother and boyfriend probably won't last much longer. Colten seems to feel the same way as he dresses back in his boxers and dress pants, leaving on the white dress shirt unbuttoned a bit. I too get changed, putting on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top.

I turn to Colten.

"Maybe if we stay calm-"

"I wouldn't guarantee anything, baby," he says softly, pulling me to his chest.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I thought they were at Brittni's."

"So did I," he nods. "It's no ones fault."

I frown, pressing my lips to his in a short lasting kiss. I feel like whatever is about to happen will put yet another ridge in my relationship with Colten. I know Jackson said he approved of our relationship, but seeing us in bed together - naked - I'm sure couldn't have been too amazing.

With this in mind, Colten and I intertwine our fingers, walking slowly down the steps.

I'm freaking out now.

As soon as we make our appearance in the kitchen, Jackson sees us and shoots away from Brittni, coming towards us. I stand in front of Colten knowing mg brother will most likely punch him if I don't.

"Move. Nikki." He says through clenched teeth.

"No," I stubbornly say, my voice a bit shaky. "Let's talk."

"Okay," he says bitterly. "Let's talk."

I open my mouth to speak, but don't really know what to say next. I thought he would bring up what he saw, guess I have to.

"It wasn't what it looked like," I breathe, seeing the anger in his eyes.

"Right," he laughs bitterly. "So you guys didn't fuck in my house?"

I cringe.

"I'm sure you and Brittni have had your fair share of hook ups here," Colten's deep voice cuts into the conversation.

"This isn't about me," Jackson clenches his jaw.

"You said you approved of our relationship," I counter, my confidence slowly coming back.

"Yeah," he nods. "I did. But I did not approve of you guys having sex at every waking moment."

I roll my eyes. "I don't see why it would concern you anyway, if we did or not. It's my body and my decision."

"You're fifteen," he says almost exasperated.

"I know how old I am, Jackson," I scowl. "And I'm going to be sixteen in a month so what will your excuse be then?"

"You'll never give up," Colten growls, taking a step in front of me. Did he not understand my motive behind me being in front of him? Jackson won't hit me, but he'll his his ex-best friend. "Will you? If it's not she's only fifteen than you'll think she's only sixteen."

"That's for me to decide and for you to find out," Jackson snarls. The two men seem to be having a staring contest with the glares that are fixated on their faces. As I look over at Brittni, she just looks exhausted, kind of like how I feel.

"She can make her own decisions," Colten snaps. "She doesn't need you to set boundaries."

"Apparently she does if she's sleeping with you every second-" Colten shoves him - hard.

Jackson looks shocked as he stumbles back.

"You fucking bastard," Colten growls at him. I try to scream for them to stop, but Jackson is already lunging at my Colten. I step back in fear that they'll somehow drag me into the chaos they've made.

"I don't think I'm the bastard," Jackson snarls, throwing a punch at Colten jaw making him grimace, but aim his fist at Jackson face. A gasp leaves my lips at the sound of the impact. "Fucking my little sister, huh?"

He spits out blood, making me cringe in disgust.

"I love her," Colten bites out. Jackson goes soaring for Colten, knocking him into the glass coffee table that we had owned. It breaks, my eyes widening it fear that Colten will get glass into him.

"No you don't," Jackson seethes, throwing another punch at Colten. "You only want her body-"

Colten yells something I can't understand, pushing Jackson off of him and now straddling him, punching him left and right.

I scream at the sight of blood, everything getting to messy.

"Stop!" I scream, tears streaming down my face. "Please!"

Colten is all sorts of wounded and so is my brother. And then that thing called guilt sinks in again.

"Colten!" I cry. "Please."

His back tenses, before he lets out a breath and makes his way off of Jackson, wiping the blood from his lip. Jackson gets up as well, looking torn and still slightly angry.

"I thought I could do it," Jackson speaks, his eyes on everyone in the room. "But I can't."

With that, he walks out the front door, keys in hand and slides on his feet. This is shaping up to be a horrible after homecoming morning.

I look up at Colten who is looking down at the ground. I solemnly walk over to the linen closet and grab a wash cloth, getting it wet in the kitchen before aiding to my boyfriends injuries. I feel like he's always bruised and battered because of me. Well my brother, but because of me.

All the while, Colten looks behind me, never actually making eye contact with me. I feel hurt.

Brittni has sat herself on the couch, looking lost in thought as she stares at the broken table in front of her. She keeps thinking she can stop my brothers anger, but I think she's starting to realize the truth. My brother can't be tamed.

"What's wrong, baby?" I say softly, sliding my hand across his cheek and turning his head to me. I really wish I would've let him to stare at something else, now I have to look into his saddened and void eyes. "Colten-"

"I'm sorry," he apologizes.

"For what?" I ask, but he doesn't answer. "Colten what are you sorry for?"

I'm starting to feel a little worried at his next words, I don't know what he is going to say next. With every word I speak to him, though, he always gets a more saddened look in his eyes telling me somethings wrong.

"Everything," he sighs, kissing my forehead shortly. It feels like a good bye. "I think I made a mistake."

I blink rapidly as he removes my hand from his face, slowly walking away from me. I want to open my mouth and say something, but my vocal chords won't work. I feel like I'm gasping for air as he leaves, shutting the door behind him, my view being blocked.

"Oh honey," Brittni shoots up, pulling me into her arms while I cry.

What just happened?

•••

Jackson came back when I was in bed, Brittni next to me. It seemed he was drunk by the way he stumbled up the stairs, cursing every time he fell.

Brittni cried that time. I cried with her. I cried for my brother who couldn't control his anger. I cried for my brother that didn't know any other way to act. I cried for Brittni who felt broken, because she couldn't help him. I cried for Colten who had to go through what he did. And I cried for myself who had to drag him into the storm.

And as we both cried, we both wished things were different.

I think I made a mistake.

What does that even mean? That he shouldn't have told me he loved me? That he shouldn't have brought me back here last night? That he shouldn't have tried? If he says that he made a mistake by being with me, I don't know what I'd do.

Brittni did a good job consoling me earlier, always catering to me when I didn't deserve it. She didn't cry once no matter how many times she checked her phone for a message from my brother. She didn't cry when she saw posts of him on social media. She didn't cry when I told her to, but now she is. Some people can hide their emotions only for a certain amount of time before it becomes to much.

Brittni is such a strong person, and she tries to always deal with it, but this is something she can't control. My brother has always been this way; violent. He uses his fists instead of words, and uses sex instead of feelings. It's how he's always been and she realizes that now.

I realize it now.

___________________