My fists are clenched tight, my breathing ragged as I get closer and closer to where I'm meant to be. The fire inside of me is burning at me, my lungs needing oxygen, but I can't give it to them.

The picture that was sent to me is stuck in my head. Would Nikki fall for him again? Does she still love him? I wouldn't be surprised, most people that lose their virginity to someone have a certain connection I've never felt. First, I'm not a girl and I lost my virginity to a sixteen year old girl when I was fourteen. I don't really remember her face, but her name has always been clear.

I don't know what I am going to do if Nikki is still in love with the fucker. Out of all the conversation she and I have shared, not once have as asked that question. I should've.

I should've fucking asked her the question because now I'm met with his lips on hers.

I'm about to throw up.

That feeling isn't as heavy as the searing rage in my body. It's like some demon has possessed me and I'm running at the pussy. I spear into the side of him, both of us toppling to the ground.

I don't feel hurt, I feel angry and in need of someone to take it out on. The person being this bitch.

I can't fucking believe my Nikki was kissing him. The thought alone makes me want to cry, and I don't cry. I've only cried once and that was when my grandpa died.

The rage drives my fist into Adam's face, Nikki's cries for me to get off are blocked, my eyes are red with an emotion I've felt many times before, but never this heavy. Not even when this exact thing happened with Mack, the only difference was she slept with Dustin.

I feel like someone physically dug their hand into my chest and ripped out my heart. A heart I barely thought I had before Nikki. Now she's ruined it.

Punch after punch is thrown, the stinging in my knuckles barely there. The blood rushing out of open wounds on his face drives my masculinity further.

Punch. "I fucking told you to stay away from her." Punch. "I fucking warned you!" Punch. Punch. Punch. Blood. Blood. Hands.

"Colten! Colten!" My head is dizzy, I barely feel the hands around my arms and the ones on my shoulders.

I take deep calming breathes, Jackson, James, Tristen and Justin coming into view making me clench my jaw. Why did they fucking stop me? I was going to kill him!

"What the fuck!" I shout, pushing them all away, trying to get at a hurt Adam whose trying to get up, but they pull me back. "Let me go!"

"Calm down," James warns. It's always weird to me when James turns serious because he's the joker in the group. He's the one that smokes weed and makes everyone laugh until they shit their pants, so this is new.

As if on cue, my eyes zoom in on Nikki, who is crying and being comforted by Brittni.

My anger rises again.

With all my might, I push away the guys and stalk towards Nikki.

I fucking can't believe it. The girl that I love and thought loved me was fucking kissing her ex. How am I supposed to feel?

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snarl, gently grabbing Nikki by the arm, so she's facing me. "Have you been fucking lying to me? Is this some sick game to you?"

"N-no," she cries out. I'm hurt. I'm so hurt. The fact she's crying makes me want to wipe away her tears and smooth away her worries, but she fucked me over. As I was declaring my love for her and trying to fix things with her brother, she was shacking up with her loser ex.

"Then what the fuck was that?" I growl. "Hmm? If you're not going to talk I'm fucking done."

As much as it pains me to say it, I fucking can't deal with this shit. It's all too much. I thought she and I were in this together, but I feel alone. So alone.

"Colten," Brittni warns, looking dead in my eyes.

I clench my jaw, letting go of Nikki before my anger gets the best of me.

"When you're ready to talk, find me," I growl, walking away before I completely lose if and demand answers. Until she talks to me, I'm going to assume she was cheating on me.

"When you're ready to talk, find me," he growls, walking away with clenched fists and tightened jaw.

A sob racks through my body and I fall into Brittni's arms. I want him to come back and yell at me, to tell how fucking wrong I was, I want him to scream in my face and I want to kiss away his pain, but he keeps walking.

It's all my fault. If I would've just ignored Adam, none of this would've happened. Colten probably thinks I was cheating on him purposely, and I should be mad, but I can't seem to find that emotion. I ruined it.

The boys have grave looks on their faces as I cry my heart out. I feel like such a mess, I'm a freaking mess.

"Shh," Brittni pets my hair, sinking us to the ground as I continue to let the water works do their thing. I've been crying to much. "It'll all be okay."

And as much as I would love to believe everything will be just fine, I can't. Because it may not, but it may.

"Fuck!" I scream to myself, punching the wall again and again. My hands then thread in my hair and I pace around my room.

All sorts of emotions swirl around my head, anger, sadness, love and betrayal. Fuck this.

On top of all that, Nikki still hasn't come to talk to me. I don't know what's taking her so damn long, but I refuse to conclude that it's because she loves him still.

I want the pain to go away. It hurts, so bad, but the only person that can make it all go away is the same person that hasn't contacted me.

Instead of wasting my time waiting for her, I head downstairs and into the freezer where I keep all my booze. I take the bottles up stairs and start my journey to drunk-ness.

I roll over on to my side, biting at my lip as I contemplate whether to go over to Colten's or call him.

The tears had stopped a few hours ago and now I'm more than ready to explain everything to Colten. I want to explain it all to him. How I was tricked into thinking something else. I would've told him earlier if it wasn't for the fact I couldn't stop sobbing.

As I'm debating my thoughts, my phone rings and I nearly jump to answer it. My heart lodges in my throat at the name and I, stumbling, grab it.

"Hello?" My voice is foreign to my own ears. Probably because of all the water I released out of my eyes today.

"Look who decided to answer," Colten hiccups. Is he drunk?

"You called," I let out a breath sounding relieved to hear his voice.

"Ye-yeah," he stammers. "I did. I wanted to know why you cheated on me?"

I close my eyes, feeling my throat clog up at the question.

"I didn't cheat."

"Don't lie," he sounds angry now. "I saw you kissing him."

"He kissed me," I explain. "He said he had something to tell me and-"

"And you met up with him?" It's stated like a question, but it sounds more like a conclusion.

"Yeah," I sigh, playing with a piece of loose thread on my duvet.

"My heart hurts, Nikki." My eyes tear up at the lost sound in his voice. He sounds like a little kid and it makes me so sad that I'm the reason behind his pain.

"I know, baby," I sniffle. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I thought you were mine." He sounds like he's taking a swig from a bottle. "I thought you loved me..."

"I do," I immediately shut down his doubts. "I love you so much, you know that. I don't know what I was thinking when I met up with him, I really don't."

"I don't know what to do." Even though I can't see his face, I can practically see him running a hand through his hair. He isn't that drunk. "I love you more than anything, but you kissed him."

"I know, I know," I coo, my tears threatening to come back. When will they stop?

"It felt like someone was cutting into me when I saw his lips on yours." He sounds pained. "I wanted to break every bone in his body, but Jackson stopped me."

"I'm glad you didn't," I admit. There was something not right about the situation earlier. The look on Adam's face when he had pulled me to him was something I could never forget. It was almost like he was put up to it, and I'd rather him not be broken before I can figure out what exactly happened.

"Why?" He sounds like he's getting angry again. "Do you still love him?"

"No! Of course not," I defend. "I just have a suspicion about something."

"Oh." I can tell he's pouting, I try not to smile, but I fail miserably. "Will you come over?"

"Colten," I sigh. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?"

Yeah, why?

"Because you're drunk," I tell him. If I go over there, I want him to be fully aware of the conversation we're having.

"Nikki," he lowly says. "I may have drank a bit, but I'm not drunk. I'll drink some water or some shit before you come."

I bite at my nail, debating whether or not I should buy into it. I don't want him to regret having me over. There, I said it. If he's lying about not being drunk, I don't want him to wake up tomorrow morning and forget all about the words I said. I want to see him, hell, I've wanted to see him all day, but I don't want to be a mistake.

"You swear you're not drunk?" I ask nervously.

"Swear on my own grave," he says, making me smile. I sigh, making him release a breathy chuckle through the phone.

"Okay," I answer defeated. "I'll come over, on one condition."

"And what's that, baby?" His pet name makes me shiver.

"You mean what you say."

"Deal."

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