I can't and won't answer Adam's text. I know he still has feelings of some sort for me and I don't need his jealousy at the moment. It's not really any of his business anyway, who I leave with is none of his concern. If I want to hook up with someone that shouldn't have to be run past him.

Look at me, I'm defending Colten without even realizing it. I shouldn't, right? I mean, he did leave me after one of the most intimate moments in my life. Maybe I'm just thinking to far into this. I always do.

As I walk past Jackson and Brittni again, my best friend looks at me with concern, but I turn away. Not even she can know. Lord know that she'll rat me out to Jackson anyway.

I lay on my back against the mattress, staring at the ceiling. I guess the sun took the time to come out today and illuminates my room, brightly. Unlike how I feel.

I keep my hands folded against my chest with my phone between them, waiting for Colten to text or call. I know it probably won't happen, though. He's probably already screwing around with somebody else.

The thought pains me, and I bite my lip to keep from crying. I don't like this feeling, at all. So instead of insuring the pain, I close my eyes and think of better things.

I should call her. No I shouldn't. Yes I should. Fuck! I don't know what I should do because I'm a fucking idiot.

I can't tell you half the shit that runs through my head, or why I left Nikki after fucking her. When I brought her home, I didn't think much. All I could see was his hands on her, his lips on hers. I was blinded by a rage filled of jealousy and I took the chance to fulfill my need for her.

She needed me too, I could feel it. I came alive under her touch the way she did mine and I wish nothing more than to feel that again, but of course being the huge fuck I am...well, fucked it up.

I still can't erase the image of her horror stricken face when I left her in her bed. Every sense in my brain screams at me to make it right, but I don't know how. In all honesty. How can I make up for something as crucial as that?

My phone lights up again with Jackson's name.

"Fuck!" I shout, chucking my phone as hard as I can at the nearest wall. The sound of glass shattering fills my ears and I fall back on my bed, covering my eyes with my hands.

Everything fucking revolves around her in my mind and reality. I fucking hate it. Why did I have to kiss her the first time? Because she was with Dustin Capri.

Why did I have to fuck her? Because she was going to kiss Dustin Capri.

I fucking hate that bastard, so much I can't even fucking explain it. Everything about him makes me want to punch that smug face of his.

I used to tolerate him, he was more Jackson's friend than mine, but after what happened I could never look at him again. Even after pounding his face with my fists, I couldn't stand him. Still can't.

"I'm just going to get a drink, I promise," Mackenzie smiles, pressing a quick kiss to my lips before hopping off my lap.

I watch her with my lip between my teeth, debating whether to take her back upstairs and fuck her again.

She's different than any other girl I've met. I actually want to be around her and talk to her. I want to listen to her and just overall be there.

I've never really dated anyone except Jennifer in second grade, if you can even count that, but I think Mackenzie can be girlfriend material.

She's the first girl who I can look at without thinking of Nikki Long and that alone makes me extremely happy. I somehow find myself missing her when she's not around and needing her.

Mackenzie started out as a fuck buddy, but then we started hanging out as friends and now we're more girlfriend-boyfriend. I haven't put the label on it, obviously, but I think I want to soon.

"Hey," Jackson pats my shoulder, taking a seat on the arm rest. "Where'd Mack go?"

"To get a drink," I tell him, wishing she'd come back already. I don't know what's taking her so long it's already been, what? Twenty minutes?

"That's cool," he nods and takes a sip of his drink. "You guys are pretty serious, yeah?"

I try not to smile. "I guess so."

"I'm happy for you bro," he claps my shoulder again when James walks up, beginning a conversation with him.

I tune out their voices and begin to worry about Mackenzie. I decide to go look for her and start heading in the direction of the kitchen. She's not here.

"Hey, Cindy." I think that's her name. "Do you know where Mackenzie went?"

"Um," she furrows her eyebrows. "Yeah, I think I saw her heading upstairs."

"Thanks," I smile and rush towards the staircase. She probably just had to use the bathroom or something.

That's where I check first, but when I hear her voice I nearly cry out with joy. Why am I so happy about this?

I walk towards where I heard her, and nearly vomit when I realize something...she's moaning. Or at least I think it's her.

"God yes..right there," is all I hear before bursting through the door. I wish I didn't. The sight before me actually makes me feel dizzy and sick.

The one girl I thought I could trust is naked beneath none other than Dustin Capri.

She didn't seem to have a problem with what she was doing, which only got me more angry. Dustin had that conceded smirk on his face too while Mack stood up with a sheet wrapped around her, trying to explain what happened.

"I don't see why you're getting so mad," she scowls at me while I pace back and forth, pulling at the roots of my hair.

"You don't-what-" I stutter, not comprehending anything with the hurt that I feel right now. I never knew being cheated on felt this way or I'd never have helped girls do it to their boyfriends. "Forget it."

I got my revenge on Dustin Capri, though. I always do. The memory of me pounding his face in while Mackenzie and her friends screamed at me to stop flashes through my mind, making me want to do it again.

He's a püssy. He thought he could talk shit, and fuck the girl I had deep feelings for, but he couldn't do anything more.

The difference from last night and that day with Mackenzie, is that I already know I love Nikki.

And that's exactly why I ran away.

"Are you not coming to the party or...?" Brittni lays down on my bed, her head hanging off the edge.

"Brittni," I whine. "I really don't want to."

"But I want you to," she pouts, sitting up.

I narrow my eyes at her. "Why? It's not like you're going to be hanging out with me."

"That's not true," she scowls.

"Uh yeah it is," I scowl back. "You'll be with Jackson the whole time and I'm not going to go just to be left alone."

"Fine," she glares at me, standing up. "Don't go, but you've been acting weird all day and I was trying to be a good friend and get you out of this funk."

Stupid guilt.

"Will you actually hang out with me tonight?" I ask, looking at her expectantly.

"Of course," she nods. "We don't even have to go to the party if you don't want to. We can do something else."

"Really?" I question, someway excited that she'll go somewhere besides the party with me.

"Yes, Nikki," she rolls her eyes making me laugh.

"Okay," I smile. "Let's go up to the store and buy everything junk food and binge watch Teen Wolf."

"Thank goodness," she groans. "I really didn't want to get dressed up."

I laugh at this and pull on a sweater and slip on some flip flops before following Brittni out to her car.

"When are you going to let me dri-"

"When you get your license," she cuts me off, looking pointedly at me.

"You know," I tsk. "I can't get my license unless I practice."

"Oh you can practice," she nods. "Just not in my car."

"But-"

"Why don't you ask, Colten," she glances at me. "His car is the most beat up out of the three of us."

I look out the window, my good mood diminishing with the mention of his name. I've gone a couple hours without thinking of the events from last night, but now that's ruined.

"I'm good," I mumble, already feeling the change in me.

•••

"I'm going to circle by the party to see if Jackson's car is there," Brittni informs me after we've gone to the store and pretty much bought their whole chip and candy isles out.

"Do you think he's not?" I ask, wondering if something is going on with them.

"No," she sighs. "I just want to see. He was acting a bit secretive this afternoon and - I'm just being paranoid, aren't I?"

"No," I shake my head. "You're not. It's alright to go crazy girlfriend every once in a while."

She lets out a breathy laugh at this. "Crazy girlfriend?"

"Yeah," I laugh.

"I think this is it," she says after a minute, slowly passing by the packed house. "Holy shit."

"What?" I bolt up, looking out the window. And that's when I see it. "Stop the car."

I didn't even have to ask her, we're both running away from the vehicle and into the crowd.

"Colten!" I scream, my voice muffled by the chanting of the people around him. My mind is in a daze as Brittni and I push past people and into the center.

My hands and body are shaking as I take in Colten the angriest I've ever seen him. Not to mention the guy he's taking his anger out on is Dustin Capri.

I try screaming again, but it's to no avail, he's obviously to focused on hitting Dustin to care.

"I don't know where Jackson is and he isn't picking up the phone," Brittni panics, looking down at the two boys while trying to call her boyfriend.

"James!" I spot him walking out of the house just in time. "Stop him!"

His eyes widen, and in no time at all, he and Tristan lift a fighting Colten off the ground. Dustin rolls on his stomach, covering his nose and bloodied face.

"Enough," Tristen yells in Colten's face making his eyes snap to me. His anger doesn't dissolve like I had imagined it would, so when he starts walking towards me I nearly back up.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He growls, grabbing my arm sternly.

"I-I didn't-" I stutter. I don't know what to say.

"The cops are on their way, Colten!" James yells, looking worried.

"Fuck," Colten curses and looks back at me. "You need to leave."

"And go where?" I question angrily. "I'm not letting you go to jail so give me your car keys."

"For what," he growls the same time I reach into his pocket and take them. "Nikki!"

I hop into the drivers seat of his car, almost peeing my pants when he yanks open the door, scaring the living day lights out of me.

"Get out," he growls.

"Get in," I bite back, feeling panic deep in at the thought of him going to jail. "Please just get in the damn car, I'm not going to let you get arrested."

His mouth opens and closes before he shuts the door and walks to the passenger side.

I wait until we're on the main road to start talking.

"So, what happened back there?"

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