I don't know how many hours or even days I'm in my room, but when I look over at my phone and it says three o'clock I already know it's only been hours.

This day has been excruciatingly long and I'd like it to be over. Colten and Jackson were talking loudly early, their voices muffled by the door, but now the house is dead silent. I don't know if Brittni is still here, not that I care, but I definitely know that Colten is.

He always is.

I have to admit, I regret lashing out at him in the kitchen earlier this morning. I don't know why, but by the look of rejection in his eyes I immediately felt guilt. Again.

After storming up to my room, I locked myself in and haven't come out since. I didn't even get to eat my bagel. And a hungry Nikki is an angry Nikki.

I roll over on my stomach and hug the pillow to my chest.

The events of last night still plague my mind. Everything from the look on Brittni and Jackson's face to this morning. Anything and everything that could possible go wrong did, and I can't decide if that's my fault or their's.

You'd think I would've figured out what was going on before seeing them in bed together, but I guess not. It was dangling right in my face, too. I should've known by the way Brittni never walked around with Nathan anymore, or how she looked uncomfortable whenever I told her stories of Jackson being overprotective. I should've known!

Colten knew, why couldn't I? And the fact that they felt they had to hide this from me is what really gets me angry. I mean, yeah, I would've been pissed either way, but at least I wouldn't feel like a fool after. Stupidity practically takes over every single one of my thoughts of how I could've seen it.

Speaking of Colten, our kiss yesterday. I'm not going to lie; what happened between us was the most amazing and magical thing ever. The way he held me, groaned and grunted was so erotic and fulfilling. I loved the way his lips closed around mine and his tongue massaged mine aggressively. It was nothing like how I've been kissed before, yet it was amazingly pleasurable.

I don't know what happened, I don't know what his intentions were after, he didn't quite make that clear. In a way that's a good thing because I know for a fact that can't ever happen again. And I mean ever.

No matter how infuriated I am at my brother right now, I would never betray him the way he did me. Because I'm not him.

My stomach growls loudly making me cringe. I really wish I would've eaten that bagel this morning. Maybe, Jackson will he in his room still and I can sneak downstairs for food.

Worth a shot.

Sliding off my bed, I walk over to the door and open it slowly, making sure no noise makes its way through the empty house. I peak my head around the corner, listening for any sound coming from downstairs. When I hear nothing, I deem it okay to walk out.

I don't take much time on the stairs, and casually stroll into the kitchen where I think no one is. Key word, think.

"Holy shit!" I screech and cover my hand over my heart. My eyes are wide in shock while my heart beats quickly. "What the hell, Colten?"

"Sorry," he looks sheepish. "I didn't think you'd be coming out anytime soon."

I shake my head, my whole body still reviving from the adrenaline rush.

"Yeah, I just came down to some food," I tell him, stopping in my tracks when a question hits me. "Is Jackson or Brittni here?"

"No," he answers, watching my every move. "They left a while ago."

"Go figures," I mumble and pull a Stouffer's Mac and cheese out of the freezer.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he apologizes sincerely.

"It's really okay, Colten," I shortly respond and follow the directions on the microwavable meal before sitting on a bar stool.

"Can we talk?"

"Isn't that what we're doing right now?" I raise an eyebrow sarcastically.

"You know what I mean," he rolls his eyes and stands up from the dining chair.

"Not really," I drawl out, crinkling my eyebrows.

"About last night." Oh.

"What about it?" I ask nonchalantly, focusing my attention on the timer of the microwave.

"Don't play around," he growls completely serious. I look up and he's a lot closer than before. "I want to talk to you about the kiss."

"Colten," I stand up, putting distance between us. "That kiss was nothing. I don't know why it happened, but it can't ever again."

The same look of rejection shows in his eyes before it's gone and smugness takes over his features.

"Why?" He walks closer, like predator to prey. "Because you liked it?"

I furrow my eyebrows at him. "If I liked it I probably wouldn't be telling you that it can't happen again."

He takes another step forward and when I take one back I end up hitting the counter making Colten smirk.

Great.

"That's not true," he says, standing so we're toe to toe. To close, to fucking close! "I know you liked it. I could tell by your moans and whimpers. The way you gripped my hair."

My breathing is erratic by now, his words alone make me all hot and bothered. I think that's why I let him place his hands against the counter on either side of me, and let him press his body against mine.

What is going on? I'm not supposed to be feeling this way about a boy I've known for most my life. Let alone my brothers best friend.

My whole body is on fire and we're barely touching in reality. My chest rises and falls, directing Colten's eyes to my cleavage.

"Fuck," he bites his lip and looks back up at me, with a darker shade of eye color. "There are so many things I wish I could do to you."

Possession. That's my excuse for the next words that tumble out of my mouth. "Then do them."

A grunt sounds from Colten's throat, his eyes turning darker.

"Don't say that," he rasps, as he tried to force his eyes to stay on my face and not my cleavage.

"Why?" I smirk.

"Don't ask that either." I would laugh if it wasn't for the fact Colten decides now is the perfect time to smash his lips to mine.

A moan escapes my mouth all most right away. My lips sting slightly from the force, but they're quickly soothed when Colten moves his passionately with mine.

This feeling. God, this feeling. It's like heaven and ecstasy all rolled into one. I can't even describe how satisfying just kissing this guy is. It's mentally and physically impossible. I can't think let alone talk when Colten is so close my breasts are pressing firmly against his muscular chest.

My fingers tangle in Colten's hair harshly, causing him to groan deeply. His tongue slides along the seam of my lips and I instinctively open my mouth to him. Almost instantly, our tongues meet in a sizzling gesture, my body heating in return.

The room seems like it's gotten a thousand degrees hotter, I can already feel the sweat beads forming on my head.

"Jump," Colten instructs briefly and I do as he says until I'm on the counter. Colten takes the spot between my legs, pulling my body closer to him. Our lips fuse back together lustfully, eliciting a whimper from me.

I don't mind when I'm pulled even tighter to Colten's body. The way his hands slightly linger on the strip of skin between my tank top and sweat pants makes up for it tremendously.

It's when we need air and he decides to trail his hot mouth down my jaw line do I accidentally grind my core against his forming bulge.

"Fuck, Nik," he rasps, taking a section of my skin between his teeth.

"Uh..." I moan, throwing my head back in pure pleasure.

"You like that?" He asks, repeating the action.

"Colten..." I gasp in response. His tongue drags down the column of my neck making my toes curl and my legs wrap tighter around his back.

"Tell me, baby," he demands, nipping at an area of my neck, a stinging sensation forming.

"So good..." I whimper. The use of his word 'baby' is what made me respond. The way it rolled of his tongue was incredibly sexy.

"I knew you did," he smirks against my neck and trails his lips further down. That's when the timer to the microwave goes off, making Colten groan. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

I bite my lip to keep the smile off my face as he removes his head from my neck.

"I officially hate that Microwave," Colten scowls and I laugh.

"Don't hate on the microwave," I playfully scowl and push him away. I probably would be face first on the ground right now if it wasn't for Colten grabbing my waist. My legs feel like flipping jelly. "Thanks."

I walk over to the microwave and take the dish out of it.

I look over at Colten who is leaning on the counter in the same position we were just in.

Whatever.

•••

I don't remember much of Sunday. Jackson didn't come home the night before and Colten left shortly after our make out session in the kitchen.

When I wake up on Monday morning I do my usual routine before bounding down the stairs, mentally preparing myself to see Jackson on this fine morning, but I don't.

"Where's Jackson?" I question, trying to keep my happiness at bay.

"He left early," Colten tells me. "Told me to give you a lift to school."

I nod. Things are a bit awkward since we haven't talked since Saturday, but I'm not going to let that effect me.

I eat quickly and then follow Colten out to his old, beaten down Ford. It's obvious his parents didn't use their wealth to buy Colten a nice truck.

I don't know much about Mister and Misses Mathews, but little things I've caught over the years are that they're gone most the time. Apparently, his dad owns some corporate tower in New York and his mother works with him. They come over ever once in a while, but that's the reason he's at our house all the time. At least Jackson and I had each other to accompany where Colten didn't.

"I like your truck," I tell him once we get on the road. The old car smell wafts through my nose and I cringe.

"Ha-ha," he says dryly. "I've asked for a new one, but most their money goes into expanding the company."

I nod, biting at my lip. Parents and their infatuation with companies and such.

"You don't see them a lot do you?" I question, softly.

"No," he answers curtly.

I get that he doesn't want to talk about it so I turn my head towards the window instead.

"Can I ask you something?" Colten questions, glancing at me for a second before keeping his eyes on the road.

"Sure," I agree.

"H-how did you and Donaldson meet?"

I wasn't expecting that. I thought it'd be something stupid like why are you mad at your brother and Brittni? Guess not.

"Um," I swallow. "It was at the beach that one day last summer. He asked Brittni and I to play volleyball. That's how she met Nathan, also."

Colten looks thoughtful. "What made you decide to date?"

"We became close and it seemed logical to put the label on it," I answer easily.

It's silent for a moment before Colten thinks of he next question to ask. "Why'd you do it?"

"What?" I ask, not quite sure what he means.

"Why'd you let him take you?" He says sharply, like its something he doesn't want to talk about. But everyone is curious.

My face heats up and I look out the window.

"I don't know," I shrug. "I guess it was the heat of a moment thing. I was stupid for doing it though."

"Why?" More questions.

"Because he left the day after." We pull up to the school before Colten has the chance to ask any more questions. "Thanks for the ride."

I get out of the car, leaving a jaw clenching Colten behind.

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