"Oh my god! Colten!" I shriek, covering myself with the blanket while Adam stumbles off of me.

My eyes are wide, with my mouth hanging open and overall shock painted on my face. What. The. Hell.

It's then that I see the rage in Colten's eyes, and then, he lunging at Adam whole moves away, causing me to scream.

"Colten stop!" Those are the only words I can manage as I push myself off the bed and between him and a panting Adam. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Me?" Colten sputters incredulously. "I'm not the one about to have sex on the bed!"

I narrow my eyes at him, mustering up the best glare I can. "We weren't going to have sex."

I don't think.

"That explains this," he gestures to my lace bra and pantie set, eying my breasts a little to long making my body heat up.

I try not to let it effect me, and go on to saying what I was about to. "That doesn't mean I was going to sleep with him!"

Colten growls, looking over at Adam then me again, pushing away from me only to walk out the door.

I mumble under my breath, slipping into my clothes once again before running after him. Leaving Adam behind.

Why am I trying to explain myself to Colten anyway? Because he'll tell your brother. Right.

"Colten!" I yell after him, stopping when we're in the driveway and he's about to get into his truck when I say the one thing that pops into my head. "You can't tell Jackson."

Smooth.

Colten snaps his head to me, a menacing glare painted on his face. I stand there, trying not to show how scared and worried I really am.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" He angrily asks, stalking towards me.

"I-I," I stutter then regain composure. "No. No I am not kidding you."

He snarls, stepping another foot towards me. "After you almost losing your virginity, you are worried about me telling your brother?"

Virginity? Why would he think - oh shit. Thats why he's so mad, he still thinks I'm a virgin. Well, that just adds to the fire.

"You think," I shake my head, a bitter smile coming to my face. "I'm still a virgin?"

I would too. I'm only fifteen, and even though the age of having sex is getting lower and lower, it's still young. Plus, no one would think I'd be able to get away with it because of my brother. Can't really blame them.

He furrows his eyes brows, something in his eyes changing. "You're not?"

Something along the lines of longing and sadness fills his iris's leaving me feeling guilty. What for? I can't even answer that.

I look down at the ground, fiddling with my fingers. Suddenly, Colten's hands cup my face and tilts it upwards. I look into his eyes, feeling almost compelled to tell him.

"Please," he whispers. "Tell me that's not what you mean."

Unuttered tears fills my eyes and I start feeling like my whole body is caving in.

"I can't tell you that," I say quietly. In a flash, Colten's hands leave mine, his eyes no longer sad, they're now pits of flames. That's when Jackson shows up.

"What are you guys doing out here?" He asks, striding towards us slowly. "And Colten, I thought you had plans tonight."

"I did," he clenches his jaw, his eyes only on mine. I feel the panic seeping into my veins as maliciousness fills Colten's features. "I guess things change."

"Okay," Jackson draws out. "So what does that have to do with you being out here?"

At this time Adam picks the perfect time to come out, drawing Jackson's attention. I watch as his face turns from curious to angry in just a few seconds.

"What's he doing here?" Jackson practically growls out. I look at Colten, begging him with my eyes not to say anything, to let it go. I know deep down, though, that my attempts are futile.

"He's here to get into Nikki's pants," Colten sneers, our eyes still connected.

"What?" Jackson snarls.

"Jack-"

"These two were about to have sex," Colten cuts me off. "They would've to if I hadn't shown up.

In one fluid motion, Jackson is lunging towards Adam, a scream flying from my mouth.

"Jackson! Stop!" I shriek when he grabs the collar of Adam's shirt and pushes him against the brick of the house. My ex-boyfriend looks as if he may just shit his pants, while Jackson looks about ready to murder.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are," Jackson gets closer to Adam's face, his eyes wild. "But never, will you get what you came here for. Ever."

Little does he know. Little does he know.

"Got that?"

Adam nods, frantically. "Yes."

"Good," my brother snaps, letting go of his collar before spinning his head around to look at me. "Get in the house. Now."

I take one last look at Adam before heading inside. For once, I thought Colten could attempt to be nice to me, but I'm proven wrong again.

I slam the door behind me, knowing my tormentor is only a few steps behind me. He curses behind the door before opening it again, glaring at me.

"That was rude," he growls.

"I care because?" I question, bored.

"I get that your mad-"

"What the hell, Nikki!" Jackson shouts right as he steps through the door, slamming it behind him.

I roll my eyes. "What? I thought if you could go out and do God knows what with Jacqueline, than I at least get to-"

"Be quiet," he snaps. "You are fifteen years old! Not seventeen, there's a big difference."

"Age doesn't matter," I lie, even though it does. In ways.

"It does when your still a child and that guy is sixteen," he seethes. The anger in his eyes is enough to make anyone else run away crying, but not me. I've dealt with this my whole life.

I roll my eyes again. Adam isn't even a full year older than me, he only just turned sixteen in July. I know this because it was the night I gave myself to him.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Nikki," Jackson's is practically ready to blow up. "I can't believe you would attempt having sex under my roof."

If he only knew what I've done. This conversation - if he knew - would be ten times worse.

"Like you haven't done worse, Jackson!" I yell, exasperated. "Besides, we were only kissing. It's not like I go around sleeping with random guys like you do with girls-"

"Shut up!" He booms. "You're lucky Colten was here when he was, because if not you'd probably not have your virtue still in tact."

I spit out the words as soon as they run through my head. "I hate you!"

I know as soon as those three words leave my mouth, I know I shouldn't have said them. They make Jackson's face falls, and his eyes soften into sadness.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," he chokes out, looking into my eyes as I try to find the words to fix this.

"I'm sorry, Jackson," I sigh. "I didn't mean that-"

"You know," he bitterly laughs. "Everything I've been doing is to protect you."

"I know that," I breath out, taking a step forward.

"Do you?" He questions, furrowing his eyebrows. "If you would've let things go farther with Donaldson I never would've been able to forgive myself."

I swallow hard, my stomach swirling in such a way I feel I may just throw up.

"Mom and dad aren't here anymore so it's my job to protect you, to make sure that you're safe," he softly explains.

I open my mouth to say something but then think better and turn on my heel and descend up the stairs. A weak 'goodnight' slides past my lips, but I don't put much effort in to it. If I stay down here and let Jackson say all these things, I may just throw up.

It's bad enough that I believe I made a mistake in the past with Adam, but now to hold that on my shoulders while listening to my brother - I can't do it. It physically makes me sick.

After getting ready for bed, I immediately plop down on my comfy mattress and snuggle under the sheets.

Guilt. It's a strong thing, something I've grown accustomed to, but tonight - it's different.

It starts with the look on Colten's face when I revealed something to someone other than Brittni. I felt a current from him - the sadness from him - and it was intensified when he begged me to tell him it was a lie. I wish it was.

A tsunami size wave of guilt crashed into me then, knowing that he was disappointed in me. I never once cared what he thought, so why now? Because - and it's simple - I think I may just have the feelings I hid so many years ago coming back.

And I'm scared shitless.

Back to the guilt, it was then transferred back to Jackson when I said I hated him. Then when he was saying all he wants to do is protect me - that was a hurricane of guilt - the worst I've ever had.

I never want to disappoint my brother and if he ever finds out about Adam and me, I know that's what I'll feel. He's been there for me ever since I was a baby, we've been the best of friends for so long and potentially hurting him, hurts me too.

I snuggle even more into my blankets and close my eyes, trying to forget the saddened eyes of my brothers best friend.

I went home tonight. I couldn't stay there with Nikki only a couple feet away. So, instead do torturing myself, I left and went home.

The problem now, though, is falling asleep. I've been staring at the ceiling for an hour and a half. Seeing the light from the street lamp stream on to the white paint.

I still can't get what she said out of my mind. It's on reply, starting over every time.

"I can't tell you that."

She couldn't tell me that she was lying, that what she meant didn't actually happen. Because it did. With who? My money is on that Adam guy.

I've spent many nights thinking what it would be like if I gave into my feelings for Nikki. Letting her know that I never meant to hurt her, that I like her - a lot.

I think about making love to her, making it so special that she'll never forget it. I would whisper sweet things in her ear, going slow just for her. The one thing, though, I thought about was being her first. Making her feel that way, only me. And now that's gone. Doubt it ever would've happened anyway since I'm a püssy when it comes to feelings.

Then there's the fact that I saw her half naked. I could practically imagine what was underneath her bra and panties. And she was planning on letting Adam see it, not me.

I growl, God do I want to punch him so many times he won't be able to see straight after. That would definitely cause suspicion, though.

Like I said, I'm a püssy when it comes to that shit.

I'm pissed. Oh god am I pissed. I guess Jackson thought it was necessary to drive to school without me this morning. Hence why I'm in the car with Brittni and Nathan right now.

She's mad at me too, but whose not? Both my brother and Colten, most likely Adam and now Brittni. Fuck my life.

"He's just looking out for you," Brittni says. That's what he said! I don't think by leaving me without a ride is looking out for me though. Just my opinion.

"Since when do you defend him?" I growl, even though I know it's because she's mad at me too. "It doesn't matter, he's completely overprotective. I can take care of myself."

"Say what you want," She sighs. Whatever. I don't need friends. Maybe.

"I will," I huff.

I don't see Jackson or Colten when I get to school. I start to worry where they might be, but when I see my brothers car I relax. Not by much.

I decide to just go to class, hoping Adam is there without a bloody face. By the time the bell rings, Adam walks in, his eyes casted down to the floor. Luckily, his face isn't bruised.

The hour is spent with me looking back and forth between Adam and the bored and when the bell rings I rush up from my seat to catch up with him. My attempt is useless when he runs ahead of me.

"Adam!" I call out, sighing when I know he won't turn back.

Then I spot it. More like them. Both Colten and Jackson are leaning against a set of lockers directly in front of my classroom.

My jaw works and I narrow my eyes. "Back to babysitting?"

"Yep," Jackson gruffly says, him and his sidekick walking over to me.

"That's what I thought," I mumble.

Oh the joy.

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