After Ally finally found something for me to wear, half of my closet is spread out on my bed. I take the clothes from her and lock myself into the bathroom before I change into the skinniest black jeans that I didn't even know I own and into a white long sleeve crop top. Then, I dry my hair and brush my teeth, wash my face and put some perfume on. In the meanwhile, Shawn and Ally stay in my apartment and do god knows what.

When I step put of the bathroom again, Ally stands up from the bed and gives me a black leader jacket that I didn't know I had either. I give her a questioning look and she rolls her eyes at me.

"It's mine. I went up to my apartment and got it for you when you dried your hair." She explains and I nod understanding. But then I'm confused again and give her another questioning look.

"I got for Christmas from my brother." She explains and then it makes sense. A black leader jacket, sounds like something her brother would buy for her. When I don't move and laugh in my head about her brother, Ally takes the jacket off me and holds it up in front of me. I turn around and pull the jacket on, before I turn around again to see her smiling at me.

"Thank mum." I laugh and sit down next to Shawn. He smirks but Ally just shakes her head at us. She then gives me the pair of black pumps that Niall gave me for our first date. Instantly a scene form that day shoots into my head. I blink a couple of times to get it out of my head and Ally places them down in front of me.

"You can't avoid everything that reminds you of him." She says and I know that she's right. I look down at the beautiful pair of shoes and swallow all saliva in my mouth before I put them on. When I look up again to face Ally, she looks at me like a proud mother. It's like I'm her toddler who's just learning to walk for the first time.

"I feel like you're putting more effort into tonight than I am and you're not even going." I say and she just shrugs.

"It will be the first night out since the break up and I want you to have fun, all right? Is that so bad of me?" She asks and sits down on my desk chair.

"It's not, thank you." I smile and she smiles back. "But I'm hungry." I say and stand up. "We should go eat before you guys drive me to the club." I haven't eaten a lot today and my stomach isn't okay with that. I've got slight stomach pain but that's nothing food can not cure.

"What do you want to eat?" Shawn asks as I go over to my nightstand and take my phone. I quickly put money into the pockets of the leader jacket and reach down for my keys but when I see the ring that Niall gave me, I instantly stop to move and stand frozen. I look at the ring and see mine and Niall's fingers intertwined, only minutes before we broke up. I see the tears of that night and broken pieces.

"Olivia?" Shawn calls my name but it's like he's miles away.

"Olivia, are you all right?" Ally asks and comes over to me.

"Who put this there?" I ask, not looking away from the ring.

"I did. I found it in a glass when I wanted to drink water." Shawn says and I swallow down the tears that I feel building up in me. Stay strong, I tell myself and take a deep breath. Ally puts her hands on my upper arms and slightly rubs up and down, knowing what flashback that ring gives me and knowing that I've been trying to avoid just looking at it.

"Olivia?" Ally says and I take a deep breath. I take the my keys and walk pass her, pass Shawn, out of my flat.

"I'm hungry." I just say as I go out. When I'm few steps away from my door, I realize that Shawn and Ally aren't following me as I thought they would. "Are you coming or what?" I ask as I walk back. Shawn and Ally are talking but stop as soon as I reach the door. They just nod and then follow me out. Ally closes the door behind her as I walk ahead to the elevator. Once we're out of the building, I breathe again. I didn't even realize that I was holding my breath. The cold January air hits my face and I start missing my bed and the warmth of my apartment.

We all get into Shawn's car and as soon as he drives off, my phone starts to ring.

"Olive?" It's Ethan.

"Yes,E?" I ask back as Shawn takes a turn.

"Are you in your flat?" My brother wants to know.

"Now, I'm going out tonight, why?" I say as I look out of the window, watching the people on the streets of London.

"I just wanted to check on you and... um, take care, all right? I don't want to call the ambulance another time." He says, reminding me of the night we were at Dad's house. I was taking a bath, a very long bath. My head was under the water and for once I wasn't over thinking things. I was just in the water, enjoying the silent and ignoring my body's wish to breathe. Dad and Ethan were knocking on the door, pounding and yelling, telling me to open the door, to wake up, to stay alive. I blurred them out completely until Dad kicked in the door and lifted me out of the bath. Ethan wrapped me into a towel and then everything went black. When I woke up, an ambulance team surrounded me and asked a lot of questions. They left after checking me through and making sure that I'm all right.

"Calm down, Ethan. I'm fine." I say and hang up. Ally looks back at me with a questioning look. "He just asked where I am." I explain and look out of the window again.

When we arrive at the restaurant, Ally takes a salad while I take chicken with mash potato. I have a strong feeling that we did this before and when my cokes comes, I know when. It's was my second day in London and Ally, Ethan and I went clubbing. I saw Niall again at the club and he told me that I looked hot when he saw me running.

"Who are you starring at?" Ally asks, making me notice that I completely zoned out.

"No one. I was just thinking." I say and take a sip of my drink. Ally looks at Shawn and I can feel that she's still worried about me. Shawn looks at her confused, not understanding what she wants him to do now. But then he gets it and looks at me again.

"About what?" Shawn asks and tries to sound casual about it, but the curiousness and the worriedness is hearable in his voice.

I hold my laugh in and look at Ally as I answer. "I know that you guys, actually it's just you, Ally, worry about me. But seriously, I'm fine, okay? And I'm not saying that I'm completely fine and can go back to the person I was before him, but I'm not a total wreak either so please stop acting like I am, okay?. My mother is already enough and I don't need you to be like her." I tell my best friend and she just nods understanding. "I'm fine." I say again and secretly hope that I really am. To be honest, I don't really know if I'm fine or not yet. I feel fine but little things, like the shoes or the ring, always throw me back in time and remember me of things that are in past.

When our food comes, we eat and don't have to talk a lot anymore. Afterwards, Shawn pays for all of us, even though I was willing to pay my own bill. He insisted and then we leave the restaurant. Shawn drives us to the club and then he and Ally turn around and face me.

"I'm fine." I say and try to look convincing.

"We know. Have fun." Ally says and both smile at me like they are trying to build up my courage. Why does this feel like Shawn and Ally are my parents and I'm their infant who's finally doing something else other than staying at home?, I ask myself and quickly get out of the car before it gets weirder. It's definitely colder now than it was before and when I breathe out, my hot breath mixes with the cold air in front of my eyes. I look away from it and see a long line in front of the club. I start to feel uncomfortable and want to flee. I want to go back home and start to regret coming here in the first place, but then someone calls my name. It's the familiar voice that I missed without realizing it.

"Olivia!"

I turn around and see Adam brightly smiling at me. "Hey!" I say and we hug. When we pull apart, he takes my hand and leads me to the door. Now there's no turning back, no way out anymore. Adam leads me into the club and I sit down at a table while he quickly gets us something to drink. I look around and remember things that I want to forget. I remember things that I wish had never happened. I see Niall and that girl sitting at the table in front of me. His arm is around her shoulder and his eyes look directly at me. I stare back until a group sits down at the table and Niall and that girl fade away. When I look to the dancing people, I see Adam and Niall fighting on the floor. The girl yelling Niall's name, telling him to stop, while I just stand there and look. I'm hallucinating.

"Olivia?" Adam stands in front of me and he is excepting an answer. "I asked you something." He says and I look at him confused. From the corner of my eye, I see Niall and Adam fading away. "I asked if I you could move to the side and let me sit." Adam repeats his question.

I nod. "Yes. Yes. Of course." I move to the side and he sits down. I look behind his shoulder but the imagine of Niall and Adam fighting on the floor doesn't come back.

"Is everything alright? You seem bit oblivious." He asks half smiling.

Even he notices that I'm not completely myself.

I nod again. "Yeah, I just need a drink or two." I say and he gives me a beer.

"Didn't you say the exact same last time?" He chuckles and puts his arm around my shoulder as he takes a sip of his beer with his other hand.

"I honestly can't remember, so I guess yes." I admit and to my surprise I can even laugh about it.

"Do I have to get into a fight this time around?" Adam asks, raising eyebrows. A grin forms on my lip and I take a deep breath, rolling my eyes at him.

"Funny." I say and finish my beer in one go.

"Always." Adam says, putting on a bit of a Mexican accent as he says it. I laugh at him and hope builds out that tonight might not be bad at all.

After Adam and I finish drinking our beers, he convinces me to try scotch. It was alright. Adam bursts out laughing though when I wrinkle my nose and closes me eyes for a few seconds after taking a sip.

"That's not funny." I tell him and punch him softly in the arm.

"I'll get you something sweet." He says and disappears again. I've only been here for a few minutes and already had beer and scotch. It's going to be a long night, I think to myself when Adam comes back with something greenish looking.

"Are you trying to make me drunk?" I ask and take a sip. Just like he said, it's sweet and I drink more as Adam just chuckles.

"And rape you afterwards?" He laughs. "No, don't worry. I just thought you'd need to loosen up a little." Adam explains and I nod understanding.

"So why am I hear again?" I ask and he burst out laughing.

"Do you want to leave?" He asks and I just shrug, making him laugh harder. "Well, Liv--"

"Don't call me Liv." I cut him off again for the same reason as hours before. He rolls his eyes at me and puts his hand on my thigh. I look down but don't do anything to take it away.

"Well, Olivia." He starts off again and I nod approving. "You probably ask yourself why you are here..."

"That's literally what I just said." I laugh and he puts his finger on my lips.

"Shhh." He says and takes it away again. He points over to a girl who's sitting at the bar. "See her?" He asks and I nod. "She's comes here every Friday. Drinks. Ignores everyone around her and then leaves after few drinks. And now you're probably thinking, oh she maybe has a bad life and drinks every Friday to forget such so, or maybe she has bad grades, or maybe a bad background."

I nod.

"Well, she's actually the best in my whole class. Got straight As, knows every answer to every question. And that ... that's what makes people like you and me wonder, why she comes her." He makes a pause and I wait for him to continue but actually he's done.

"So?" You ask not getting the point of why he told you all that.

"Nothing. I just admire her." Adam explains and leans back. "She's something special."

"Ask her out." I suggest and continue to sip on my drink.

"Askher out while I'm here today with you?" He laughs and sits up."Liv--"

"Olivia."You cut him off and he just nods.

"Olivia,I did and she said no. Would rather be left alone." He says and,judging by his higher pitched voice at the end, mimics her. I givehim a questioning look and he grins at me. "That's where you join the game." He says, confusing me even more.