It's not just the winter weather alone, it's the fact that he might be gone that makes me feel so cold. It's the fact that he chooses to go out clubbing with other girls, instead of coming to me and spend time with me. It's the fact that even though I'm his girlfriend I didn't see him as much in the last two weeks as that girl did. It's the fact that they were just spotted together, without anyone else, just the two of them. And just thinking about them, makes me shiver.

Nothing can warm me up. It started when I woke up this morning and my feet and hands were cold. As the day progresses, the coldness spread around my whole body. Not even the hot shower that I took, when I came home after my exams, helped. Not even the thick sweater and sweat pants that I'm wearing help. And not even the four blankets over me warm my body up. I'm cold, everywhere. My room probably feels like a sauna to Alison.

"Do you need another blanket?" My best friend asks and I shake my head, knowing that it won't help anyway. Nothing can warm him... maybe Niall, but he's not here. Who knows if he'll ever come. After the video, I sent him yesterday, I don't even know what we are. Am I still his girlfriend? Was the video a break up message? Did he even see it? I'm too afraid to turn my phone back on. I'm afraid to hear what he has to say and I don't even know why. I don't even know if he's even trying to say something. And how could I? My phone is off since I woke up this morning.

I look at Alison who stares into her books, which reminds me that I should go back to studying, instead of thinking about Niall. That only goes well for a minute before my mind starts to connect everything with Niall again. I need to get my mind off him and that girl. I need to focus on my exams... but I can't. It's a wonder that I managed today's exams even though I was freezing. I shiver yet again, thinking about Niall and that girl. I don't even know her name and she has spend more time with my boyfriend than I did.

Maybe he has his reasons. Maybe they are just friends. Maybe the others were already inside. Maybe she's one of his mate's friends. Maybe she already has a boyfriend. Maybe she is related to him. Maybe she's not interested. Maybe they are just friends. So many options... they don't have to be interested in each other right? They could be just friends... right? All this is in my head, when I should concentrate on school. This is not fair to me. I shouldn't worry about it. Niall shouldn't give me anything to worry about, but he does.

All I want is him. To be honest, if he comes in now and tells me a very very good reason why he and that girl went clubbing instead of him being with me, I may forgive him. I just want him. All I ever want is him to be with me, to hold to tight, to warm me up, to hug me, to kiss me, to protect me. I want him to tell me that everything will be fine. I want him to distract me from my exams. I just want him to be here.

"You can go if you want." I tell my best friend. She already looked at her watch a several times while I was thinking about Niall and that I shouldn't think of him.

"No, it's fine. I'm just waiting for Shawn to bring us hot chocolate." She smirks. It knocks on the door and jumps up from my desk chair. I close my eyes just to rest them for a couple of seconds.

"Niall...!" Alison exclaims unexpectedly. My heart skips a beat and I decide to act like I'm sleeping. "What are you doing here?" She asks and I already know that she's pissed at him for going clubbing with that girl.

"Is Olive here?" Niall wants to know. His voice gives me a warm feeling but isn't enough to fully warm me up. I shiver again.

"Maybe but the question was: what are you doing here? Why aren't you clubbing with that girl, like you did the last few days instead of spending time with your girlfriend?" Ally asks and I imagine her glaring at him. You go girl! Give it to him!, my mind motivates her as if she can read my mind.

"Please, is she here?" Niall asks again, ignoring her question.

"Maybe." Ally answers. "But I honestly don't know if she wants to see you now."

"She has to." Niall says and I hear his heavy steps coming closer to me. I wanted him to be with me, but now I don't know if I want to see him. But it's too late when he takes my hand. I keep my eyes closed and pray that tears won't roll down my cheek.

"She's freezing." Niall says and I don't know if it was towards Ally, me or himself. "Princess..." He places his hand on my cheek and strokes it with his thumb. I fight my tears but it's too late. As soon as one rolls down my cheek, Niall wipes it with his thumb away and I get goosebumps. My heart is heating up but at the same time my body is more cooling down. "Even her tear." Niall whispers and kisses my forehead.

"Can you answer my question now, Niall?" Ally says and even though my eyes are closed and I can't see her, I know that she tapping her foot on the floor and her arms are crossed in front of her chest. She probably looks like a mum and I'm thankful for her being here. If she wasn't here, I would have opened my eyes, forgive Niall instantly without hearing a reason.

"What question?" Niall's voice is only a whisper and I feel his eyes on me. He's still stroking my cheek and probably kneels down on the floor. I want to see him and open my eyes but something in me, tells me not to.

"Why were you clubbing the last few nights instead of calling Olivia and being with her?" Ally asks the exact question I would have asked, if I wasn't too afraid to open my eyes. That video yesterday was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have sent it. I should have just left and not overthink that picture. They were just going into a club. Maybe the others were already inside... right?

"It was spontaneous and I didn't want to distract Olivia form studying." He says and I can feel that it's only half right. What is the fucking truth Niall!, my inner voice yells at him.

"Really?" Ally wants to know if that's all. It isn't, I can feel it!,... I hope she can read my mind.

"Yeah." Niall says and puts a strand of hair that fell into my face to the side. "God, I missed her." He kisses my forehead and my heart warms up. But if you missed me, why didn't you come by?, my inner voice yells.

"Why didn't you visit her, instead of going clubbing?" Alison asks and inside I cheer because maybe she can read my mind. I press my lips together so that I don't jump up and ask Niall the same question, just louder and with more anger.

"I-I didn't want to distract her." He says and I feel a stab in my back. Why isn't he telling me the full truth? Niall's phone rings and he takes few seconds before he hangs up.

"I have to go." Niall stands up and his touch is gone. He bends down one last time to kiss my forehead. "I love you." He mumbles and moves away.

As soon as I hear the door close, the cold fills my body again and I shiver. I sit up again and look at Ally.

"What now?" I want to know. She shrugs and comes over to me. She hugs me as tears roll down my cheek. He still loves me...

-

When I get a text from Niall after I arrived at home, I don't know what to except. I open up his message and read it probably three times in a row, just because now I'm clueless. I honestly don't know what do to now. Should I go and forgive him? Or should I stay at home and play hard to get. On one side, I'm really hungry and I really want to see him again, but on the other side, I don't feel like going out and what if we're not alone?

Still thinking about it, I change my sweater into a nice long sleeve blouse and take my coat out. I guess I'm going, I think when I'm already putting stuff form my backpack to my bag. I refresh my mascara and change into Niall's favourite royal blue jeans on me. I want to look good and I do. The long sleeve white blouse, is tight around my breast and loosens beneath my waist. It's flattering and I know that Niall will like it.

In the elevator, I'm still not 100 percent sure if I should go or not. But my body has already decided that I go. I get into the first taxi that I see and it drives me to Nando's. Minutes later, I arrive there.

I take a deep breath and start to feel anxious. My hands are freezing, just like the rest of my body but I'm hoping that it will heat up, once I'm next to Niall. Last night, he only told me half the truth and when I walk into Nando's and spot Niall, my heart skips a beat. He must be kidding me!, I think as my eyes widen when I see the girl from the pictures sitting next to him. This is a fucking joke! This must be a dream! Niall... next to that girl... I must be dreaming. But I'm not. I thought we would be alone but we aren't. Few friends of Niall are also here and I feel the strong desire to punch a wall, or a table or the floor or Niall's face. I shouldn't have come, I think and turn around ready to leave but it's too late.

"Olivia!" A friend of Niall exclaims. I roll my eyes, take a deep breath and put the best fake smile on.

"Hey!" I walk over to them and take a seat on the empty chair right across form Niall and the girl.

"How are you?" one of the girlfriend of Niall's friend asks.

"Good and you?" I try my best to stay nice. I don't want to but I give Niall a look. He just whispers something into that girl's ear and I feel anger building up. I'm jealous and I'm not ashamed to admit it. He's my boyfriend not hers. And I'm Niall's girlfriend and I should be by his side. I press my lips together and fight my tears. I can't cry. Not now. Not in front of Niall and especially not in front of that girl. Why did he tell me that he loves me, when now he doesn't pay attention to me. Why did he want me to come, when now he's busy talking to that girl.

I look away from them and just wait for Niall to give me reason to leave. I just have to ignore him. I have to stay strong. As I do small talk with the girlfriend of his friend, I try to keep it cool. A waitress come and takes my order while another one gives the other their plates. Everyone starts to eat, just Niall waits and hope comes up. He waits for my food to come, before he starts eating. Just like he did when we had dinner with my family. I smile down to my lap and bite my lip. I know that he still loves me.

But when I look up again, Niall's arm is around the girls shoulder and I feel a stab into my back. All of the sudden I have to caught.

"Are you okay?" the girl next to Niall asks and I nod. Niall doesn't even bother looking at me. Luckily my drink and my chicken comes. I take a big sip and take my fork and knife in my hands. Before I can even start, the girl giggles and I look up. She whispers something to Niall and he smirks the cute smirk that's reserved for me. Or used to be reserved for me... I take a deep breath and try to smile it off but feel the tears building up.

"Oh Niall." She laughs and softly slaps his chest. That's enough. I let fork and knife drop down onto the plate. It makes a loud noise, but I don't care. People turn around and the girl next to Niall gasps. I get up and rush out.

"Olivia!" A friend of Niall's exclaims. Not Niall as I hoped. I wipe my tears away and rush through the restaurant. I can't believe that he actually does this to me. Why? It doesn't make sense. He tells me he loves me, he wants me to come here and now this?! I rush the the corner of the street and take my phone out to call a taxi but then someone grabs me on my elbow and pulls me back. I know that it's Niall. I spin around and look into his blue eyes. I can't control myself and start slapping his chest as tears stream down my face.

"Olive..." He says and wraps his arms around my waist but I don't stop to slap him. I wanna scream and punch him harder, but I can't. My body is still freezing cold and I don't have the energy.

"Olive..." the way he says my name usually gives me a feeling that I love but right now, it doesn't affect me at all. "Princess." He tightens his arms around me and kisses my forehead. Then everything is gone. I forget that he just sat next to a girl, made her laugh, smirked at her and whispered things to her. I forget that I'm hurt and sad. I rest my head on his chest and try to catch my breath. Everything around us is dark and only the street lamp spends us light. I know when I look into Niall's eyes, I will get week but I don't have a choice. He puts his finger under my chin and lifts it up. Our eyes automatically connect. I'm heavily breathing as tears stream down my face. I thought that I cried everything out last night, but apparently I didn't.

"Olivia..." He says my name again and then I remember that I should be angry at him. I should punch him and scream at him. But instead I just look into his eyes. I love him and that won't change no matter what.

"Why?" is all that leaves my mouth even though I have a lot more questions.

He doesn't answer and just looks down at me.

"Talk!" I exclaim louder then expected and push him away form me. Instantly he grabs my hands and my body shivers. "Why do you do this to me, Niall? Do you want to make me jealous? 'Cause congratulations you made it! But you also did more. You made my jealous and you hurt me, Niall! Why do you do this to me?" I want to know and slap him again. "Why?! Why?!! Why??!!" I hit his chest and he lets me.

"Olivia please..." He starts and bites his lip. I don't understand anything anymore.

"Why Niall?!" I just want answers. Was this all a joke to him? Was this a game to him?

"Olivia, we're just friends. Trust me, we're just friends. I know that it makes you jealous and I know that it makes you angry but it makes me angry as well. Believe me, I don't want to do this." He pulls me closer to him.

"So why do you do this?!" I raise my voice with the last energy I have in me.

"It's just... Olivia, please believe okay? There's a reason why I'm doing this but I can't tell you now." He cups my face but I pull away from him.

"Why?!" I scream and am surprised about how loud it actually screamed.

"Please just trust me. We're just friends. The whole dinner we were just talking about you. Believe me please." He begs and I know that he's fighting his tears.

"I can't." I look away from him. His eyes only make me weak.

"But do you love him?" He asks. This came unexpected.

"Of course I love you." I look at him again and see that he's sorry in his eyes. He has his reason and he can't tell me the reason. But I need to know them.

"and I love you even more. That's why you have to trust me, please."

He begs and a tears escapes my eyes. He comes a step closer and wraps his arms around me again. Niall holds me in his arms and kisses me. I know that I shouldn't, but I kiss him back, I know that this won't be the greatest way to end this fight, it probably isn't even the end, but for now I'm okay with it. I have to trust him, even thought it might be the dumbest things I've ever done. I just have to. He's what I need, he's what all I ever wanted. He's Niall and my boyfriend.

"Okay." I smile and he pulls me closer to him. Niall kisses my forehead over and over again before he pulls away and takes my hand. "What now?" I want to know as he leads me to the parking area.

"We're going home." He says and my heart starts to race.

I know that this isn't the end, but I know that I'm not strong enough to fight it now. I let him take me to his house and make me forget that the last couple of days just happened.