C H A P T E R

THIRTY-THREE:

"I love you so much Jungkook,"

Those were the words that spilled out of Kim Taehyung's lips. Taehyung freezes. And so does Jungkook. Both of their bodies falling limp at the process of Taehyung's words in their brain. Did...did Taehyung really just say that he loved Jungkook? Yes. And did he mean it? Yes. Was he scared for Jungkook's reaction yes? Did Jungkook really believe that Taehyung meant it? No. Was Jungkook happy with how the words spilled out of Taehyung's mouth? Oddly, Jungkook wished that Taehyung had never said those six words.

Why? Well, the reason being that Jungkook wanted something more special. Something more raw, and something more real. And Jungkook knew, oh how Jungkook already knew that Taehyung cared for him more than a friend. Even a blind man would be able to see just how much Taehyung felt for Jungkook. But...it was sad because Taehyung didn't acknowledge his own feelings. He just let them brew and continue to heat up, but now, his emotions were bleeding out of him like a stab wound, and he didn't know what to do. And Jungkook didn't know how to respond.

Jungkook's mind runs to places that he didn't know he could be, his heart beating like he had just finished running a marathon with no water breaks, his body sweating, breaths deep and heavy, fingers shaking. How does he even respond to the boy he loves expressing his own emotions? It was hard, it was hard for the cherry haired boy, he didn't expect any of this to happen, but now it did. And some fleeting emotion, made Jungkook, for once, not regret anything. For once, Jungkook wanted to reassure Taehyung, and tell the older boy that it was okay to love.

But yet, even with the words in his mind, he couldn't bring himself to let the words fall out. They were there, most definitely, but they were also stuck. Like a vending machine, when the piece of candy you paid for had just got stuck, and now you were staring mindlessly through the glass screen, staring at the candy you paid for with sadness. Now you were regretting sticking money in the damn vending machine because you just wasted money that you probably could have spent on something or someone else. Jungkook felt like Taehyung was staring at Jungkook mindlessly, regretting buying his heart because the cherry haired boy was finding difficulty trying to express his own words.

And when Jungkook thought about it, he didn't want that. And he knew what he had to do. And he knew what Taehyung had to do. Taehyung couldn't just give up, Taehyung had to give a few slams to the machine, to make it shake and then the candy had to be released, and that's what Jungkook wanted. But in that moment, he realised that Taehyung wouldn't be able to urge him, the cherry haired boy had to do it himself.

And that's what he was going to do.

Naked bodies pressed together, sheen of sweat connecting the both of them, skin pressing on skin.

Taehyung swears that Jungkook can feel his heartbeat rapidly beating irregularly. Taehyung's hands slither to around Jungkook's waist, holding the smaller naked boy in his hands. He didn't want to look at Jungkook. Maybe if they tried ignoring it, it would seem like Taehyung didn't say those words at all...but...but yet, Taehyung felt some sort of relief wash over him, like he just admitted to revealing his deepest, darkest secret, but at the same time, admitted to something that was standing so clear and bright in the sunlight.

But how does one recover from blurting out a jumble of words that just admitted his feelings to Jungkook? Well, simple, you don't. You just work from it. And as Taehyung laid there, with his pretty bunny sprawled across his own body, the smaller boy taking deep breaths and pants, Taehyung saw that...maybe he needed to say it out loud to realise how much he loved the boy on top of him. To see how beautiful Jungkook was, inside and out, like a pretty, blossoming flower.

And Taehyung just wanted to pluck that rose from the thorns, and keep it for himself. No one else should be able to, no one else would know how to take care of the rose, make the rose feel loved or cared for...but Taehyung didn't know how to do any of that until recently, so that made him a hypocrite. And he knew that. By God, did he know that, but he also knew that there was no harm in trying. In trying to love and to be loved, when it all came down to a specific bunny with cherry hair.

Taehyung starts to calm down, his heart beat returning to it's normal pace, and he wraps his hand around Jungkook's waist tighter, earning a little squeak from the boy ontop of him. Taehyung smiles, it was finally time to be honest to more than Jungkook, it was time to be honest to himself and everyone around him. It was finally time to latch onto that rope of hope that hanging from the sky. He just wasn't able to see the rope because he was sitting in the dark, but now he had felt around, and finally felt that thick material instead of the thin thread, and now he was ready to get his happiness.

He was going to get Jungkook.

And all it took was ten years, four messy weeks, one blowjob, two rounds of sex, and six blurted words, but Taehyung was finally ready. He was finally ready to let go of the darkness holding him back, for it wasn't the darkness holding him back, it was his fear making Taehyung latch onto the darkness that so clearly wanted to turn into the light, for it was so sick of being cast as something that it didn't want to be, and in some ways, Taehyung related.

He related in a chaotic, messy and unconventional way, but it was enough.

"Jungkook," Taehyung rasps out, his voice deeper than intended, Taehyung squeezes Jungkook's hips, making the younger boy squeak, Taehyung's long fingers pressing down slightly on the faint bruises. Jungkook burries his face into Taehyung's neck, not wanting to answer Taehyung. All he wanted to do is bask in the moment and try and forget the future. It was so hard to be raw and real when all we do is worry about the future, and that's what Jungkook did for the majority of the time, worry...when he didn't need to.

"Look at me Jungkook," Taehyung urges, sitting Jungkook up. The cherry haired boy gasps. Staring down at Taehyung, his heart beating at the sight of Taehyung. His eyes cast down, blue sparkling orbs, bangs falling into his eyes, making the older seem more mature and mysterious. And it's like, all Jungkook wants to do is stay like this. Stay in the moment that he fell even more in love with Taehyung, if that was even possible.

The sun casts a beautiful golden glow through the windows, making Jungkook shine, his milky bruised skin glowing. Taehyung reaches up, moving Jungkook's hair out of his eyes, to look at the younger more clearly. Jungkook was so beautiful. And no one could tell Taehyung different. Everything about the smaller boy was just... perfect. His smile, his eyes, his nose, his lips, his skin, his small body...just everything. And Taehyung didn't need anything else in the world, all he needed was Jungkook. And he couldn't believe that it took so long to realise that he was so fucking in love with Jeon Jungkook, his bunbun, that it hurt.

"Taehyung," Jungkook whispers, eyes blazing with an emotions that the older couldn't decipher. Taehyung smiles softly, grabbing Jungkook's hand, bringing it to his lips before placing a soft kiss on it, making Jungkook blush pink. "You're so fucking beautiful, you know that right," Taehyung whispers in response, just looking at Jungkook up and down. He definitely didn't deserve Jungkook, and that was a known fact, but he couldn't help but be in love with art. And that's what Jungkook was. He was made to be looked at by Taehyung. Jungkook blushes, the words of reply stuck in his throat. Maybe it was better to not say anything at all, maybe Jungkook didn't want to ruin the moment. The cherry haired boy wanted to stay in this exact moment. To live like this forever.

"Jungkook, know that I love you, I love you. And I'm an ass that didn't recognize it, but I do. I see it now. I see how much I can love you and care for you, and that's what I'm going to do. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for tormenting you for so long, I'm sorry for never empathising for you. I'm just so sorry that I ruined a beauty like you."

Taehyung's eyes sadden, he felt so stupid. As if Jungkook was just smile with open arms, and tell him that everything was okay. Jungkook wasn't naïve, Jungkook wasn't a weak and fragile person. Jungkook was the strongest person Taehyung knew, and that was never going to change.

Jungkook's heart flutters at the words pouring out of Taehyung's mouth, and all of a sudden, a weight lifts off of his slumped shoulders, and all he can feel is his own love towards Taehyung. He can no longer feel the worry, the hatred, the sadness...all he can feel is the simple love that he was ready to give to Taehyung.

Jungkook waits for Taehyung to continue, and eventually, after a long while of thinking, Taehyung comes up with the perfect words to explain how he felt, to make sure that Jungkook knew exactly how much he meant to Taehyung.

"I...I love everything about you. I don't know exactly how you feel about me but I should never have let you go ten years ago. As a friend, and I should've been there by you to grow with you. And I'm sorry that I wasn't able to do that, but now I know that for as long as we both feel for each other, I want to be by your side, and cherish every moment that we have smiling, laughing, crying, because there's no one in this world that I love more than you Jeon Jungkook,"

"And words can't explain how sorry I am. For all of the things I did to you. I did all of those things because I was hurt, and jealous. My father had left me and I was jealous that you still had a perfect little family, but I never should have taken that out on you. Nothing was ever your fault, it was all mine. I was stupid, and I...I just grew up alone and I wanted to come see you and make up with you, and then I seen you at the park with your dad and that feeling of jealously- fuck Koo," Taehyung chokes, the tears already streaming down his face, eyes glassy, cheeks damp. Taehyung reaches up to cover his face as his body shakes with sadness. Taehyung's never opened up like this, and finally hearing himself say it out loud, it made him emotional to see how broken he is.

Jungkook's heart cracks at the sight of Taehyung, and so his nimble fingers make their way around Taehyung's wrist, pulling his arm up, Jungkook places a soft, gentle kiss on Taehyung's wrist, which makes Taehyung flinch, his body stiff for a moment, before he relaxes into Jungkook's hold.

"Taehyung, it's not your fault, you were a child, I just...I want to hear your story. I want to hear how you grew up, what you went through. I promised that I wouldn't give up on you, but I did, and I forgot what the feeling of holding on was, but now when I look at you, I remember what that feeling was. So tell me," the cherry haired boy reaches down to kiss Taehyung, their lips meeting in a daze, connecting like two puzzle pieces. But before it could get heated, Jungkook pulled away, his lips slightly swollen, "will you?"

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I've started school, so now updates might be slower and weekly, ffs school messes everything up lmao

This book is coming to an end soon, I can't believe it!!

Anyways, thank you so much for reading because I just hit 10k reads and 1k votes, I wouldn't be able to write or even be happy without all of you, so thank you so much, it means the world.

Stay safe everyone, and keep healthy

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