C H A P T E R

ELEVEN:

The next day Taehyung woke up extremely moody. His mood was damped because he kept tossing and turning throughout the night. At one point he heard Jungkook come into the room, and he felt like jumping him right there and then. However, he closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. He could feel Jungkook's stare on him but he tried his best to ignore it. Soon, Jungkook walked over to try and shut the stiff window. Taehyung tried to regulate his breathing. He sighs in content when he smells Jungkook's peachy scent and water, like he just came out of the shower, before he mentally scolds himself.

As soon as Jungkook walks away, Taehyung turned around, facing the dull wall. Taehyung knew that Jungkook hated him. He could see it in the poor boys eyes. But no matter how much Taehyung tried, he couldn't bring himself to hate Jungkook. He didn't know why, but it was so much easier to act like he did, instead of actually feeling the hate. Taehyung was complicated, and he knew that he was. Ever since his dad left he knew that things would never be the same.

He often thought about it. What life would be like if his dad was still with him and his mother. He thought that he would be so happy, Jungkook would've still been friends with Taehyung. And Taehyung would be happy with himself. Taehyung never felt satisfied with anything he did because he knew that he had a weight on his shoulders. And he was carrying that weight for the past ten years. Taehyung's eyes burn as his thoughts remain on his father. To him, his father was his hero. And that's because his father was the only person who understood him...apart from Jungkook.

And Taehyung ended up losing Jungkook anyways.

Taehyung started to feel a lump rising at the back of his throat when he thinks about his mother. She was so alone. And he always blamed himself for that. Taehyung's mother knew that no man would ever be welcomed and because of the fact that she always put Taehyung first, she never was able to make herself happy. Taehyung felt like he was selfish. And that was because his mother always made the effort to try and make Taehyung happy, but he knew in his heart that he was sad, alone...just like her. However, he never brought himself to admit it.

Taehyung turns around again, and looks at the bed opposite his own. Jungkook was now sleeping soundly, and just looking at the cherry haired boy made a rare smile stretch across Taehyung's face. His eyes sunken in and sharing an emotion that only the darkness could see. Taehyung let's a soft gasp escape his plump lips as he realizes that he will always be alone, and that even if he tried, his friendship with Jungkook would never be the same. His heart pulls, the pain becoming increasingly unbearable.

It was repeatedly on nights like these where Taehyung would get lost in his own thoughts. Suffocating. Drowning. Trapping himself in a darker type of madness. He wasn't normal. He wasn't just a broody teenager. He was empty. Empty ever since a young age. They say that the pain of losing someone you loved is a great pain that no one would ever understand unless they go through it themselves, but Taehyung always thought different. Taehyung knew for a fact that losing himself was the greatest pain he ever gained. And he knew that because he never truly had himself in the first place.

And that's why he always felt the need to push people away. Because he knew that he was complicated, and no one would ever understand him the way that...Jungkook used to. Heck, Taehyung didn't even understand himself.

Taehyung sighs once again, and his eyes snap open. He's met with the greying, blank ceiling.

The blue eyed boy wishes that there was another way. That he could go back in time and stop himself from making the worst decisions he could've ever made in his life, one of them being pushing Jungkook away.

Sometimes, just sometimes, Taehyung thought about getting on his knees and begging Jungkook to forgive him because he knew that he scorned Jungkook's emotions and continued doing it for years on end without reason. Taehyung even thought that sometimes he didn't even have a reason himself. He knew that eventually everything that builds up will come to a blow and one day he's going to have to give Jungkook closure. But maybe, just maybe, if Taehyung was able to regain Jungkook's trust he wouldn't be forced to give closure without an explanation. He could just give it when he was comfortable.

But would Jungkook even allow that?

Taehyung was a hypocrite. And slowly, he was starting to realise it. How could Jungkook ever trust Taehyung again when Taehyung never even let Jungkook in. He pushed Jungkook away, shut the door and never once looked back. And now Taehyung was stuck. Because the door wouldn't open. He was struggling to. No matter how hard he tried, the door was jammed. Locked. And on the rare occasion, he believed that only Jungkook had the key. And when Jungkook was ready, he would let Taehyung out. So Taehyung knew he was being hypocritical when he even thought about Jungkook trusting him again, because not once did the think about how Jungkook felt. Not. Once.

And only now was he starting to connect everything. Now.

When he was alone in a room with Jungkook, when he was going to be staying with the cherry haired boy for the next three remaining weeks.

Eventually Taehyung dozed off, with the thought of Jungkook, his father and his mother in his mind. His eyes slowly shut, and his body finally relieved itself of all the tension and thoughts as he finally relaxed and welcomed himself to the darkness.

------

Sighing, Taehyung opened his tub of cream and lathered some on his hands, stupidly. His bangs fell into his eyes not a second later, and he tries to shake his head vigorously to get them out of his eyes. He sighs, and tries again, the strands of hair in his eyes bothering him, making his face have the tingly feeling run down from the corner of his eyes to his plump cheeks. He couldn't flick the strands back into place because of the amount of cream on his hands, and he didn't really feel like going in the shower again because he got layers of moisturizer on his hair. So he did the unthinkable.

"Jungkook," he called out. The name feeling unfamiliar in his mouth. Jungkook's head snaps up, his mouth open in shock. Taehyung's blue eyes meet with Jungkook's doe ones, and an uncontrollable inferno sets ablaze in his heart. That one second, brought all the emotions Taehyung held in back up and they were bubbling to be let out.

But instead, Taehyung took a deep breath and said, "I need your help." Taehyung motioned towards his hands and when Jungkook realized what Taehyung was talking about, a small smile formed, before it disappeared as quick as it came.

Jungkook nods, and slowly makes his way over to Taehyung. Taehyung's heart beats quickly. Every step Jungkook took, was making all the hairs on Taehyung's body stand up. He tries to calm his poor heart down, but it's no help. Because now the cherry haired boy is standing only an inch away, and Taehyung is staring down into his brown eyes.

The fire blazes on, burning down all of Taehyung's surroundings and walls until he was the only left that wasn't scorched by the fire.

"Do you want me to..." Jungkook begins, caution in his eyes. Taehyung nods, and when Jungkook sees this, he tiptoes.

Feverishly, he slowly moves Taehyung's hair out of his eyes, and fixes it into place. Taehyung relaxes when he smells Jungkook's peach scent, and he almost moulds into Jungkook's body. He watches from under his lashes as Jungkook concentrates on fixing Taehyung's hair.

The cherry haired boy notices Taehyung staring at him and blushes a little, his cheeks burning up, along with his insides. "Long night?" He asks, trying to make conversation with Taehyung as he continues to fix his hair.

Another rare smile melts onto Taehyung's face as he says, "kept thinking about that ass on my pillow case." If Jungkook's blush wasn't clear, it was now. Jungkook's cheeks turn the same colour as his hair, and his hand pauses in mid air. The cherry haired boy's mouth falls open in a little ‘o’ shape, as he tries to think of something to say back to Taehyung, but nothing comes to mind.

Taehyung chuckles, his laugh deep and warm to Jungkook's ears, "don't worry, I probably deserved it."

Jungkook immediately gets a sense of comfort from Taehyung's aura and laughs too, "Jin and I were so close to putting hair removal cream into your shampoo, but we decided that no man deserves to be bald."

Taehyung's smile brightens when he sees Jungkook's bunny like characteristics light up. Taehyung just felt like the two were comfortable. Even after ten years, they just fit together. Taehyung knew how much work he'd have to put in but maybe, just maybe he could get Jungkook back, and he could finally understand himself.

"Jin...?" Taehyung asks, confusion in his eyes at the sound of the unfamiliar name. Jungkook nods, his hair bouncing up, "Jin and Hoseok, me and Wendy met them. They're homeschooled students and they decided to come here for a few weeks."

Taehyung nods, and watches as Jungkook steps away from him, staring up at his hair with satisfaction, "there you go. Your hair looks perfect." Taehyung looks into a mirror, and sees that his hair is placed how he normally does his everyday look, but he loves this one more because the strands were moved into a place of perfection by Jungkook. Smiling, Taehyung looks back at Jungkook, "thanks Koo.."

Jungkook's smile drops when he hears Taehyung call him by his nickname. The nickname Taehyung always used to call him when they were kids. His eyes slant, and his heart pains as he realizes that Taehyung only talked to him because he needed his help. And not because of the fact that Taehyung wanted to. Jungkook's voice dampens, "anytime Taehyung." Before he turns around and heads back to his side of the room, not saying a word more.

Taehyung's smile also drops when he watches Jungkook's expression change. He wonders what he did wrong as he rubs the cream on his face. He wears the jumper he laid out ontop of his shirt, and quickly does the business he needs to do and takes one more look at the cherry haired boy who was sitting on his bed, scrolling his phone. Jungkook feels Taehyung's stare on him and looks at him back in question.

Taehyung takes a step forward, "it was nice talking to you Jungkook."

Jungkook stares at him in shock before quickly returning the smile Taehyung gave him with his own unsure one. Jungkook then watched with his own eyes as Taehyung left, the door slamming on his way out.

Jungkook looked around the room, and suddenly felt a feeling of loneliness as everything around him was stilled, and then there was him. Sitting with his phone by his side, staring at the spot Taehyung was just standing in, with his mouth wide open.

He then looks around again, confusion filling him up like water in a lake.

Jungkook's eyes scan his reflection in his phone as he quickly messages Jin, Wendy and Hoseok. There was only one question Jungkook had, and he knew that he would only get the answer from one person. And that one person was a blue eyed, black hair, tall and lean boy named Taehyung.

What the fuck just happened between them?

------

Hey guys, it's your fellow author. If you seen my message on my profile then you know that I'm so very sorry for the late update haha. See I needed time to think about my next few steps following this book. I wanted to get something out in Taehyung's view and how Taehyung was feeling so I need time to think about how I wanted to do that so I'm sorry for the late update guys.

If you guys didn't know, I made this book for all of you. So this book is dedicated for every single reader of mine that followed me, and supported me along the way. I now write confidently knowing that there's people out there that enjoy the things that I put out on this platform. So thank you. I feel like I don't say this enough but I love all of you.

And another thing, if you in any way experience the things that any of these characters go through, for example what Taehyung is going through. Please don't be afraid to message me. And if you feel like you need to message me privately my Instagram will he down below if you want me to have a more quick response. I like to consider us all as a family, so please don't hesitate.

[kamila.rx]

Thanks so much everyone, I love you all.