You've been gone two days, and he's already trying to make Caoimhe his new bro.

shut up drew

no he is not

He fist bumped you today.

No one fist bumps their girlfriend.

shit you're right

nick you have to come back asap

i cannot afford to be his homie

i will fly to houston myself to bring you back

Yeah, Caoimhe's supposed to be MY homie >:(

i can't be other people's homies. it would break the homie code

i have to keep my boyfriend and my homie separate

I don't think he's even been back to his house since you left. Not even when we leave him alone in the apartment.

i had to text his sister about feeding patches everyday

Not unless you count our really intense cup pong battle that's been going on for twelve hours.

Neither of us can get the last cup, it's humiliating.

I came home to him banging on the floor to communicate with Mr. Castillo in morse code.

why haven't we thought of that before ???

Because Mr. Castillo only knows like three English words, and they're all swears.

oh yeahhhh

Point is, he's lonely.

He was used to being with Nick 24/7.

no.

don't make me go log into your pc again and expose you

yes, i know

it's now 'TheAxeEffect' right?

Tell me that is a joke.

Please reassure me that his password is not Axe body spray's slogan.

it's definitely not 😃 don't worry 😃

AND YOU CHOSE THE WORST SMELL IN THE WORLD ???

Nick, do you shower regularly?

Then why do you ruin that cleanliness with such a horrid stench?

that wasn't really making fun of him

just observations

There are no good Axe body spray memes on Google

But there are screenshots of them publicly condemning the Capitol riot after one of the Trumpies left a bottle on the floor

what fucking dystopia do we live in

that will not stop me

go stink up a middle school locker room, body spray boy, the adults are talking

I am not y'all's parent

you're only proving how childish you are

HI NICK -clay

sorry he stole my phone so i'd pay attention to his minecraft pocket edition world, i had to fight for it back

you can literally text him yourself

that's the magic of cellphones

Caoimhe, just give him the phone, you can come hang out with me while they bro out

move your fatass over on the bed, i wanna snuggle

Fine, bitch.

ONLY 300 HOURS UNTIL YOU COME HOME -clay

OH SHIT

I NEED TO GO GET PATCHES

-clay

Caoimhe took care of it, fuckface

give me my girlfriend back, i can hear your giggling -clay

it's more fun this way -clay

you should try it -clay

CLAY WHY DID YOU CHANGE THE GC NAME !??!? -Caoimhe

see, even caoimhe's doing it -clay

and i'm actually really hurt that y'all use this gc without me so frequently -clay

drew, aren't you like a huge mcyt fan, this should be a big deal for you

not so sound narcissistic or anything lol

It's hard to idolize someone after all the things I've heard.

STOP -clay

STOP - Caoimhe

---

i didn't want to end the book on a long ass author's note, so i'll do it on the second to last chapter instead.

first and foremost, thank you. i seriously could not have powered through this without each and every one of you. y'all were my motivation. i knew i needed to make you laugh, and i'd be damned if i didn't try. you tolerated my rambles, key smashed at my jokes, proposed several times, and overall just been amazing.

i published the first chapter on december 12, 2020, and thought nothing would come of it, and i'd delete it later. fast forward a month and a half, i'm at 850k reads. this fic is like the annoying little cousin with a snotty ipad attached to their hands to me, if that makes sense. anyway, i'm just saying i am so proud of how quick this grew up.

it makes me so happy to see that y'all loved it as much as i did. thank you.

anways ENJOY THE NEXT AND FINAL CHAPTER!