if you could make out with anyone in history, who would you choose

no lmao

i'd give my cream cheese king from 1873, william lawrence, sloppy toppy

look at that wild stallion

HUBBA HUBBA

so who would you pick

stop dissing him >:(

without that walrus mustache, we wouldn't have cream cheese

you're just jealous

i bet he'd get tons of babes if he was alive now

i'd throw myself at him

well SORRY you don't see the appeal in a man who industrialized the cheese industry in chester, new york

and???

IT WAS STILL A MONUMENTAL ACCOMPLISHMENT IN HUMAN HISTORY

FUCK OFF

what if i talked about nick some more

or the loml, alex

well i have your little sister's number, so who's the real winner here?

me.

the answer's me

she loves me

i'm replacing you in your family

you can replace me in mine

don't ask questions you don't wanna know the answer to

we talk everyday

about niall horan

it's great

yes ?

shhhhhhhhhhh

oh btw your mom told your sister to ask you how you felt about having latkes with pork chops on sunday, but you're ignoring her messages so she asked me to ask you

i already told them you were cool with it so...

not your entire family yet

im meeting your dad, brother, and other sister when i come over for dinner on sunday

YOUR SISTER INVITED ME IDK

SHE'S BRINGING A FRIEND TOO AND WANTED EVEN NUMBERS

your parents don't know we've been on a date, they just want to get to know your new friend

ALREADY?! i met drew's parents three days after i met them, this is slow for me

nick's mom already knows me too

i talked to her when she called nick and he told me to answer cause patches was in his lap, and he didn't want to move

idk, i don't keep track of you 24/7

probably taking a shit or something