"?"

"God fucking damnit Nick, I asked you to get some cream cheese before you came over." Caoimhe glared at her phone even though she knew he couldn't see it.

""

"Why did you go to the store for it? You could've just stolen Clay's."

"." He laughed. Caoimhe could hear the fuss of a grocery store in the background. "."

"Just get your ass over here fast. Clay's gonna realize pretty quickly that neither of us are answering our phones. I don't think he'd believe that I was actually taking a huge dump for seven hours."

"?"

"Don't ask." Caoimhe hung up the phone.

It was Nick's fourth day in Orlando. He'd had plenty of time with his childhood friend, it was her turn. She'd had Katie call Clay, since he didn't know her voice, and leave a message pretending to be one of Nick's relatives. Apparently Nick was supposed to be spending the day with her fiance's brother, Nasir, so they could bond.

It wasn't a good cover story but it was the best they had. Besides, they knew he would put the pieces together sooner or later. He wasn't stupid and they weren't good liars.

Caoimhe heard the creaks of someone coming down the hallway and threw the front door open. A guy stood there, fist still raised to knock. He had a plastic grocery bag in his other hand. So this was Nick.

She snatched it away from him, rifling through it until she pulled out the tub of cream cheese. It looked glorious. Caoimhe popped the lid and peeled the foil back, walking back into her apartment.

"Do you want a bagel?" She asked. "I'm gonna make two bagels. If you don't want it I'll eat both."

"." He laughed, shutting the door behind him. Yep, it was definitely Nick. "?"

"Fuck off, I'm starving." She put the bagels in the toaster.

"" Nick lifted himself up to sit on the kitchen counter, making himself look taller than his 5'10" stature.

"I'll treasure it forever."

""

They both gagged at that, envisioning it. Caoimhe could practically taste it on the back of her tongue.

The toaster popped the bagels up with a ding, and Nick declined the offer of one, instead choosing to sit there and watch her shovel both bagels into her mouth like the world was ending. It wasn't a pretty sight. Caoimhe was pretty sure he took blackmail photos, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

The two of them couldn't be normal for long. They had to spice things up somehow.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SQUARE DANCE?! WHAT KIND OF SOUTHERNER ARE YOU?!"

"?!"

"YES. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WENT TO PARTIES THROWN IN BARNS AND DO-SI-DOED THE NIGHT AWAY IN YOUR BIG HAT AND BOOTS!"

"!"

Mr. Castillo banged on the ceiling with his broom again.

"Fuck this, we're gonna learn how to square dance."

She pushed the table in the living room against the wall and propped her phone up on the couch. A YouTube tutorial was pulled up. Nick looked at her like she was insane.

They hooked arms facing opposite directions, and walked in a circle slowly, before separating.

"Right foot out! Right foot in! Left foot out! Left foot in! Now turn!" The glitchy audio yelled at them. They did as they were told.

"?" Nick wondered out loud.

"I mean, they're the professionals."

"Now spin your partner round and round!"

Nick spun Caoimhe the wrong way and she stomped on his toes.

"!"

"Fuck you!"

"!"

"?" A new voice said.

The two of them turned to face each other before turning to see where the voice came from. Clay stood by the front door, looking confused. The square dancing music continued to play.

"Bartholomew?! What are you doing here?"

"

Caoimhe picked up her phone, and sure enough, thirty-seven minutes ago, she'd received a 'text.

"?" Clay stifled a laugh.

"?!" Nick stared at him in horror.

"God, you're a fucking dumbass." Caoimhe reached over and hit him on the back of the head. "Now keep dancing."

---

you bitches