i resent my parents for immigrating everyday

there's another fact about me

much rather have a cork birth certificate than st. augustine

don't remind me of that tourist trap

i'm gonna text houston nick to ask for your name

why not?

omg do you have like an embarrassing name or something

bruh are you a bartholomew ???

lowkey giving me bartholomew vibes rn

dammit now i have to look up incel names

whatever you say connor (?)

michael ?

horace ?

matt ?

connor-michael-horace-matt ???

florida man, how could you just demote me to a stranger like that?

i thought we had something special :(

streaks don't hit me up, going dark. only real ones know

i will have you know that i am very much not a middle schooler

it's been almost ten years since the sixth grade

i refuse to relive that hell

i'm mortified of my twenty-one pilots phase

STOPPPPPP omg

we do not support brendan urie in this household

every point i make is a good point

i would.

cause it is

block button looking real cute rn ;)

you caught me, i won't

drew is refereeing kids' soccer games and i'm lonely

my roommate

i think it's only fair that you know my best friend's name when i know yours

don't worry, florida man

i've only texted him the once

we're not gossiping about you behind your back

now that's middle school

oH mY gOd LiKe WhAt DiD sHe SaY ???

MY NAME IS NOT GERTRUDE

I'M NOT AN OBESE GERMAN MAID

that's still up for debate

i think i just threw up in my mouth

what the fuck bartholomew

yes you did, bart. yes you did.

i'm afraid of cows, why would i go near a horse

same difference.

they don't SAY anything

they're animals

I'M NOT A HORSE GIRL

please-

i'm crying, no

have fun bartholomew

make sure to take a fucking shower

wash off the gamer grease