"How crazy would it be for someone to fall in love with something that wasn't real?"

-Gillian Dowell's "Paracosm"

Ophelia kept her eyes on Bucky, unable to tear them from him. She could sense the pain he was in without even linking with him. Each time she was able to remember her own life because of her path finding, Ophelia thought she was filled with bad luck for having to remember it all; each time she remembered, she didn't just recall the good, it was mostly the bad that flooded her mind.

Looking at Bucky struggling to understand what he was and what he had done, she saw now that it was worse to only remember some of it. Having just the bad or just the good was not any better than feeling both; understanding both is what kept them human.

The tension in the room was almost unbearable, and Ophelia had no idea on how to ease it. She reached over with her good arm and touched Bucky's arm. She wanted to speak to him, but she knew not what to say. Wrapping her fingers around his wrist, she pulled lightly, as if to bring him closer.

The man made eye contact with her, a faint half-smile creeping up over his lips. It faded as quickly as it appeared, and Bucky shifted further onto the bed, closer to Ophelia. As there was only one bed in the motel, it was obvious where both Ophelia and Bucky would be sleeping, but neither made a comment about it. Ophelia had no issues with it, but almost doubted that Bucky would even sleep with everything running through his mind.

As he leaned down on to his side, his head hit the mattress and was level with Ophelia's side. His eyes remained open, and he began to study the blood stains on the gauze wrapped around her torso. His hand came up and gently touched her ribs, careful not to touch where the bruising was, but close to it. Though Ophelia winced, the pain was bearable because it was Bucky's hands on her. Bucky slid his hand around her waist, hovering just above the top of her waist. His hand curved over her hip, pressing the wet cloth down on her wound gently. His intention was not to harm her, but this sudden show of affection had Ophelia's stomach twisting.

This had to be what love felt like, but was he feeling it too?

As Ophelia breathed in through her nose, and out through her mouth to try to handle the pain, she didn't tell Bucky to move. It felt too good having his touch upon her skin like this, without the fear that he was going to kill her because he had been ordered to do so. She pressed her hand on top of his, just to feel him. Turning her head, she looked at the man she loved, wondering if he would ever come back to her. Though he couldn't remember her, there was an obvious connection between the two of them. She began to drift in and out of consciousness, the long days of running and fighting and nearly dying had drained her, but she didn't want to fall asleep in case Bucky was gone the next day.

"Bucky?" Ophelia whispered after a few minutes had gone by; Bucky was still holding onto her in an almost childlike way.

"Yes?"

"I, uhm..." She nibbled her lip; she had wanted to wait until they both had more strength to discuss this, but it just couldn't wait. The thought of him being gone in the morning terrified her, and she wasn't using this to keep him there, but rather to bring him back. He deserved to know. "I do love you... More than a friend."

"Why can't I remember you?" he asked. "I feel like... I'm supposed to know you, like I'm supposed to be with you."

Ophelia's breath hitched when he said those words, she momentarily forgot that he did not remember her. "You feel that way?"

"The moment I saw you, on the carrier... I knew that I knew you," he said. "I knew that I couldn't hurt you, but I did. I did this to you. I'm so sorry."

"Bucky..." Ophelia started.

Bucky continued, his grip on her tightening ever so slightly. "I hurt you... I tried to kill you. I was just... I was told to." His breath hitched and Ophelia knew that he was crying.

"Bucky, stop. You didn't know what you were doing... You couldn't see through HYDRA's lies, I've been there." She didn't mean to say what slipped from her lips then. "The only way you could hurt me is to never remember me..."

"I want to," he said. "I need to."

Ophelia slid down carefully, gasping in pain as she moved, and her head was rested on the pillow. Bucky shifted, adjusting to her new position, still with his arm wrapped around her broken body, he rested her head between her arm and her torso, his head upon her collarbone, one of the few places she was not bleeding or bruised. With her arm around his shoulders, she leaned her head down and rested it upon his.

Though they both lay wide awake, neither of them said anymore that night. Enough damage had been done, and Ophelia was positive that she had broken down a few walls. Her wounds would heal in time, and she would be able to help him more in his own healing process. Then, when she deemed him ready, she would bring him to Steve, when it was safe. She couldn't bring him into society any time soon; she knew so little about it herself, that she might even need Bucky –when he finally came around- to show her how the world worked.

***

Dawn broke too soon, and Ophelia scarcely slept a wink. Bucky was still wrapped around her longingly, and she felt no better than the day prior. With Bucky unable to remember her at all, and her wounds preventing her from going anywhere too fast, she felt trapped. Though her goal was to help Bucky figure everything out and really bring him back from The Winter Soldier and from HYDRA, she had to think of herself too.

She knew that in the end, if Bucky could even remember her the tiniest bit, she would be okay. While she hated clinging onto this for her own well being, she had never been treated right in her entire life except by those who were not HYDRA. And Bucky was one of the only people who would understand what she had been through, and really be able to identify with her painful memories. Steve and the others, they had been good from the start, never having been tortured and forced to do horrors.

The morning seemed to stretch on, but neither Bucky or Ophelia had to do anything but lay there. She had a mission, one that she shared with Steve, but knew that he could not yet be a part of. It was up to her to help Bucky remember everything, she owed Steve and Bucky that much. She remembered the idea of sacrifice once again, and thought about letting Bucky go and live his own life without her. She couldn't cling onto him forever, if he didn't remember her, she had to move on.

Then it occurred to her, of course, that Bucky could form new memories of her, rather than recall all the violent ones from their past. It was simpler, and he seemed as though he wanted that, but it would never be the same. The feelings she discovered in the HYDRA base nearly seventy years ago had opened her to a world of possibility, she had known Bucky was someone she wanted from the moment she met him. As time slipped by between them, she desired to be around him and even came to love him.

If he was going to love her, he had to remember when she fell in love with him.

She knew that moment was when he let her go on the mountain after the hunt.

The memory echoed in her head, 'Run, O!'.