Chapter 19

Dessa was having a difficult time staying still as she watched Milena reading through every line of her final draft of her thesis paper. It was the last step between now and graduating top of their university class and she was more than ready to hand it in, to be able to finally accomplish something after those last two and a half years.

After their morning of flying, the two of them had plans of reviewing each other's final papers that afternoon. Fin planned on joining them, but he'd come in one moment then turned around the next after realizing he'd forgotten something back at his apartment. That was an hour ago. An hour of watching Milena's every move as she read through every line so, so slowly. She was going way too slow for her liking.

Dessa's fingers started thrumming out a rhythm on the wooden table of their private room in the library. It was one of the few places the students were actually able to speak in normal tones.

But right now, the silence was deafening.

When she was finally finished, Milena gently placed the dozens of sheets of parchment back on the table, her eyes misted over with tears. "Dessa..."

"What?" she asked, voice quivering as she reached for the parchment. "Is it that bad you're crying?"

"No. I'm crying because it's absolutely beautiful. Professor Britheva and the other ones evaluating our final theses are undoubtedly going to give you top marks plus more. I wouldn't be surprised if they decided to make you publish this and teach it to the next year's students."

She let out a snort of laughter. "Please."

"I'm serious. You have me crying, Des, and you know me. I hardly cry. I'm just like Daddy."

True. Milena had never been one for tears when she was upset and angry. She was more likely to pull out her sword and fight anyone who made her so. But now, seeing her tears glistening against her cheeks, it made Dessa's heart clench with the thought of that final paper of hers being so powerful.

Because it had been a recount from her parents on those last few months of the Dark Wars – the loss of her grandfather Bence and the fall of Escarral, the journey they'd gone on to find a way to rid their world of the darkness, those weeks in the ruined human lands, and the sacrifices both the Crown Prince and Crown Princess of Dalcaine made – their lives – to rid their world of the darkness.

Even Dessa was crying, though she'd rewrote the whole thing after finishing the first draft since tearstains blotted out some of the ink. It had been a story she'd been told her whole life, one that had become legendary around their world ever since, and yet this paper she'd written told it in a way no one else had heard before other than herself when her parents told it to her growing up.

"Have your parents read it yet?" Milena asked, scrubbing away her tears with her shirtsleeve.

Dessa nodded, neatly placing her thesis in its leather-bound folio she was going to turn in in just a few hours. "They practically fought over who got to first. Daddy won, read it, and couldn't say anything after. He disappeared for a little while after, even missed dinner. Momma got it after him and read it last night...before they both came into my room and practically smothered me in my sleep. They ended up spending the night just like they used to when I was little and had bad dreams. Except now, they were the ones reliving the nightmare and needed to know they'd already lived through it and had their own happily ever after. I withheld the last section from them until then, though. I let them read together. I'm actually surprised they let me out of their sights this morning when we left home."

"Having you was definitely their happy ending," she smiled.

"Well, I guess. I honestly think I'm a little bit of a disappointment to them. You know, with the lack of magic and all that. I'm just...me."

The look her best friend gave her then made Dessa think she was going to come flying over the table to hit her. "Don't you even dare think like that, Dessa Jai Deverell Ayveri."

Dessa started, leaning back in her chair. "That sounded scarily like Momma."

"And if you ever say something like that ever again, I will tell her, and she'll be right here beside me to slap you silly. And I'm sure we wouldn't be the only ones. You father, my parents, Aunt Allel and Uncle Mik, Aunt Kalla, your aunts Ada, Sora, and Rhea in Escarral..."

"All right, I get what you're saying."

"Do you, though?" Milena questioned. "Just like everyone's been telling you your whole life, your magic will come one day. You know it will and you feel it there. Just...give it time."

Dessa was tired of giving it time. Time for her to wonder about that wall that held it back, though she could still feel it slumbering inside her. Her light magic...and something else entirely different. They were one in the same and both very much hers.

And she hadn't ever felt them stirring more than she had over that last week since Elys, Eamon, and Archer got home.

More specifically, around Elys. Just as always, she'd felt more like herself when he was around, more in control of the things she had a hard time doing so on her own. Her thoughts that sometimes took dark, depressing turns, her feelings that threatened to blow up in all of their faces. Even when she was mad or upset with him, she wanted him to be the one she talked everything through with, especially now that they were both grown, now that their relationship could be based on friendship and not as brother and sister like she used to think of it.

That first glimpse of him after five years apart...and Dessa sure as hell wasn't thinking of him as her big brother anymore.

The way he looked in the council room, later that night in the kitchen, then again the next day when they were alone after flying...

Thoughts that had her cheeks flaming.

And Milena completely forgetting she was mad at her. "Now that's a look I'm going to need some explanation for."

"No, you're not."

"You know you tell me everything, Des. Now, spill."

But Dessa kept quiet, biting the inside of her lip as she fiddled with the hem of her tunic she'd pulled from her leather riding pants. "I know you and Eamon knew you were mates for longer than you've actually been mated, but were you...mad at him for having other relationships before you two got together?"

Milena leaned back, obviously confused that the question was directed at her. "No. Because our relationship didn't turn romantic until last year after we came back from Escarral. You knew this. How could we when he's eleven years older than me? And he knows I had a few relationships before I even entertained the idea of us being in one, especially since he was away for those first few years in the army while we were concentrating on school. There were temptations for us both and we gave in to them. I don't hold it against him just like he doesn't hold it against me. I told you all the details...including that one-week fling with that guardsmen in Escarral while we were there last summer after your birthday. Remember?"

"I do."

Oh, did she remember. The two of them getting drunk in Escarral at the Rose Stem Tavern with their friends Imrie and Balian. The four of them had known each other all their lives. Dessa always had a crush on Balian and him on her, but they never acted on it. While Imrie decided to sleep it off in the apartment upstairs from the tavern, Milena had snuck off with a human guardsman who'd been flirting with her all night.

And Dessa...well, she'd gone off with a male who'd been flirting with her all night, too.

Balian, with his golden blond hair, muscular build, and bright blue eyes.

Something in Milena's head clicked then as she held up a hand. "Hold on. If my memory serves me correct, I didn't see you come back to the Escarrali palace until that next morning after breakfast. Are you...are you holding out on me, Dessa Jai Deverell Ayveri?"

The question had her squirming in her seat. "Maybe?"

Before anything else was said, Milena threw up a ward of silence around the room, even against the enchantments already placed around it by Madam Dewridge.

Dessa covered her face with both hands, laughing nervously. "I might have not told you something that happened on that trip even though you gave me every single detail of your own fun."

Milena continued thinking back to the night, who Dessa's attention had been focused on. Her, Imrie, and then...

When she finally realized who Dessa was illuding to, she screeched, "What? How could you have withheld this information from me, you jerk?"

"Because this would have been your reaction, idiot! Thank the gods, you put up a ward around us or else we would have been kicked out of here already even with the enchantments."

Milena was practically jumping up and down in her seat when Dessa dropped her hands from her face. "Tell me! Tell me everything!"

"What's there to tell?"

"Everything," she repeated in a squeal.

"You know what happens between a male and a female who find each other attractive."

"I do."

"Well...that's what happened. And no, it didn't happen just because we were drunk. We just...fell into something we knew we both felt for each other and wanted to see where it went. We kind of got lost in each other and then one thing led to another in his apartment...and yeah. It was the one and only time it's ever happened between us."

And even though it was, that night would always be special to her, just as Balian would always be special to her, too. They'd been talking in his apartment before the topic of their childhood crushes on each other finally came up. They were laughing, poking fun at each other, before Balian had caught her hands in his. The motion had her falling forward, closer to him than she'd been before, and she finally got the nerve to kiss him...before they decided to take it further.

Milena brought her back from her thoughts. "Dessa."

"I'm telling you the truth! We were only together once and that's been my only time with a male. And while it was nice, we knew it wouldn't work out romantically between us. I've never gone any farther with any other male I've been out with. I don't want to."

"Really."

"Milena."

"My best friend, my sister keeping this information from me for so long," she groaned dramatically, resting her chin in both hands. "I thought something was different between you two whenever we've all been together either here or in Escarral. You two are more like friends now than you were before."

"Like I told you, it was the one and only time. We wanted to see what being more than friends would be like and we did. And while we both enjoyed ourselves that night, we knew it wouldn't work. We're still good friends and always will be."

Because they were and still were to this day.

"Does any of this have anything to do with Cleo's revelation of Elys's past female relationships?" Milena asked her then with a knowing smile.

Her silence and inability to meet her gaze was answer enough.

"Oh, Dessa," her best friend sighed happily. "You do realize Elys isn't your actual brother, right? And might I dare to say it...but are you finally realizing that bit of information, too, and it's the very reason why you're jealous of those relationships?"

No. Yes. Maybe.

Dessa grimaced. "Well, you don't have to say it like that."

But she was. And her best friend knew it before she was even willing to admit it to herself.

"Ha!" she shouted, pointing a finger at her. "I knew it! Eamon owes me twenty gold coins now and he better pay me in full, along with a few kisses. Granted, I love that he gave you a little more credit than I did, but I know you better than he does."

"You two had a bet going?"

"Of course. But it wasn't just us. Archer's in on it, too, so that means he owes him twenty gold coins as well."

Oh, gods.

"I can't believe you three."

"And I can't believe you for holding out on me after all this time. I should be the one mad, you know, and yet I'm not. But I will require a little more detail of your one night with Balian after dinner tonight. Just you, me, and a bottle of wine and ice cream in your room until we fall asleep. Sound like a plan?"

"Ugh, fine. And I'll be more than happy if you don't divulge in the same kind of details of what goes on between you and Eamon. I'd rather be kept in the dark."

Dessa waited for Milena to question her more...and furrowed her brows in confusion when she burst out into laughter.

"What?"

"You do realize," Milena began through her fit of giggles. "Not only you and Balian attempted a romantic relationship...but your mother did also with his biological father also named Balian years ago. She was almost engaged to him, too, you know."

Oh, gods. She didn't even think of that!

"Stop it. That...ugh, now I don't even want to think about it! Thanks for that."

Milena's grin widened...before both females broke out into another round of laughter.

The door opened then as Fin let himself in, his bag weighing down his shoulder before he slung it onto the table. Looking at the both of them, he seemed confused.

"What are you two talking about?"

One shared look, another giggle, and then they said together, "Oh, nothing."

***

Fin looped Dessa's arm through his as they walked off the university campus, bound for the tavern her family had practically bought out for the evening. Milena had left the two of them a few hours before, needing her own space to concentrate on her final revision of her thesis after Dessa made notes on it with her blessing. She wasn't even going to let Eamon know where she was, though he wouldn't have gone looking just to distract her.

Fin had offered to walk Dessa to the tavern after she'd disappeared to change into a simple flowy dress and sandals since the spring night was warmer than it had been in recent weeks. He wasn't planning on staying for dinner, though, claiming to already have plans with other friends.

"Thank you for the offer, though," he said, slowing their pace to a stroll.

"You're only here for a few more weeks, aren't you?"

"Just one, actually. Once I hand in my final paper tomorrow and pack up my apartment, it's back to Escarral."

Dessa shoulders drooped at the realization her friend was leaving.

"We'll have to meet up the next time we're there visiting family in the capital," she told him, giving his arm a squeeze. "Even after only a few months, I'm surprisingly going to miss having you around, especially when it comes to Milena making you squirm with all her flirting."

Fin rolled his eyes, snorting out a laugh as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. "Of course, you will. But I'm sure with your uncle, cousin, and the Seer back, you'll not miss me too much. I'm not that rememberable."

"Oh, whatever," she said, squeezing his arm again.

They slowly continued on, Fin's hand slipping down her arm to grasp onto hers. He was hesitant, like he half expected her to pull away. He stood up straighter when she didn't, though, smiling to himself as she shifted her bag on her shoulder. Comfortable silence slipped between them, but Dessa had a feeling Fin was trying to find the courage to ask her something. Something it didn't take her long to figure out either.

So, when he stopped them just two streets from the portside tavern, Fin barely opened his mouth before he caught Dessa's smile. His lips immediately turned down in a frown as his gaze dropped. Embarrassment colored his cheeks when he realized she already had a feeling of what he wanted to ask, so she did it for him.

"Do you want to meet up for dinner before you leave?" Dessa asked him quietly then, beating him to the question. "Just me and you as a goodbye?"

Fin laughed hesitantly, then took a step closer as he squeezed the hand he was holding. "Are you reading my mind? Because I was just about to ask you that. Of course, I would. How about tomorrow night? I turn in my thesis tomorrow morning and I have a few things to handle in the afternoon, but then I can meet you after that."

She nodded. "Sure. We've got training planned all day anyway. Come to the palace at sundown?"

"And face the narrowed, glaring eyes of your father? Sounds like a plan."

Dessa laughed quietly, stretching up on her toes to kiss his cheek. "It's a date then."

A scoff behind them made both Dessa and Fin turn and face the person making their way in the same direction as they were.

Dessa's blood began to boil in her veins at the sound, a faint ember sparking inside at the twisted smirk of the male's lips. Elys was drunk. That much was obvious with his stumbling steps, the way he swayed as he brought a bottle to his lips. He brushed past them, the half-empty bottle of Torrent he'd been nursing in one hand and an uncorked bottle of wine in the other.

"Don't mind me," he hiccupped, smile nothing but mocking. His bloodshot eyes shifted to Fin and narrowed when he saw their hands intertwined. "Ah, so this is the human with the too pristine past who I don't trust as far as I could throw him. Nice to meet you, Fin of Escarral."

Fin nodded, dropping Dessa's hand and taking a step away from her. "Same, Seer of Ikreus." Looking over at her, he gave her a small smile. "I'll see you tomorrow night, Dessa."

Again, Elys snorted and started stumbling forward again, away from them. "Sure, you will."

Dessa's teeth gnashed together so forcefully, she thought she'd crack one. "I'll see you then, Fin."

While he went in the opposite direction, Dessa quickly caught up with a still stumbling Elys. She kept a few feet back, the ember that sparked inside her threatening to catch fire and burn bright.

"What was that?" she demanded, still seething.

Elys glanced back at her over his shoulder. "Just introducing myself to your friend."

Both brows shot up. "You call that an introduction? Your tone held nothing but rudeness."

"And? I don't like him."

"You don't know him."

"Do you? You've known him for how many months now? Four?"

"Then take a good look at us, Elys. I've known you my whole life and feel like I hardly know you anymore."

He scoffed, motioning to the two of them with his bottle of wine in hand. "Whose fault is that, huh? You've barely even looked at me over this past week. Jealousy doesn't suit you, Dessa Jai, and by what I've seen of myself, it doesn't seem to suit me either."

Dessa didn't say a word as she continued following him as he grumbled to himself, spinning back around to continued stumbling down the street. When his boot caught on a raised stone in the street, the bottles slipped from his grasp and shattered, spilling all over the street. When he landed on hands and knees, the broken glass sliced into the heels of his hands, spirting blood.

"Fucking hell!" Elys yelled, the curse echoing through the empty street around then.