"I'm sorry if you blame me, if I were you I would

Thought you'd see it coming, but you never could

I see the look in your eye and I'm biting my tongue

You'd be the love of my life when I was young

Just because you're hurting doesn't mean I'm not"

✰

Ashton Irwin was craving coffee.

He pulls himself out of bed with a groan, cringing as he steps over the discarded clothes on his floor and the way alcohol bottles clink when he pushes them aside. He'd done a lot more partying than sleeping lately- the whole band had.

The house is dead silent as he makes his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. The boy runs a hand through his curly hair as he squints his eyes at the morning sunlight beaming in through the large modern windows in the house.

It's so bright, in fact, that Ashton doesn't even see the body on his kitchen floor until his foot connects with it. Ashton nearly jumps out of his skin, a gasp leaving his lips that quickly transforms to a knowing frown when he sees the source.

Bending down, Ashton carefully shakes the boy awake. "Luke, c'mon man."

A small groan leaves Luke's lips and he curls up into a ball on the floor, basking in the cool feeling of the tile. He was still drunk from the night before and he didn't have plans on moving anytime soon- he didn't think he could move anytime soon.

"Luke, we've gotta get up and get the house decent." Ashton urges the boy, walking over to the fridge to grab a couple of bottles of water before sitting down on the floor next to Luke. "You haven't forgotten what day it is, right?"

Luke peeks one of his blue eyes open, the water in Ashton's hand enticing him enough to sit up. A profound groan leaves his lips and he winces at the bright sunlight as he rests his back against the cabinets, long legs sprawled out in front of him.

"Of course, I know what fuckin' day it is." Luke grumbles, reaching for the bottle of water in Ashton's hand. He twists off the cap, chugging down half of the contents in a matter of seconds. Not that it really mattered, he probably had more tequila than water in his veins. "We're releasing a song for the first time in three years, I think I'd remember that."

Ashton holds his hands up in surrender, not taking offense to Luke's attitude. He'd been doing a lot better than he was a few months ago and Ashton knows releasing music brings up some bad memories for him.

Luke looks devastating- an absolute shell of himself.

His blond hair is grown out, long curls brushing the bottom of his neck. His curls are unbelievably wild, probably in need of a good wash after the night he had. The boy sits slumped against the kitchen counter, nothing but his boxers and an unbuttoned white dress shirt on his body. Dark circles make a home on his under eyes, the blue color of his iris duller than normal.

Ashton's eyes trail down to Luke's neck, fresh dark marks littering his skin. "Where is she?" The older of the two boys sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know" Luke mumbles, a faraway look in his eyes.

He'd been dreading the night of the Want You Back release for months.

Release parties were a sensitive subject for him and the last thing he wanted to do was celebrate a song about his heartbreak. He's full of anxiety about the song in general- it's different than their usual sound and it had taken three whole years to release. Would the fans even still be there?

It had taken Luke nearly two and a half years to even write about that night, to write about her. He also knew the media was on the edge of their seats for new music purely for the fact that they hoped to get details to pick apart the demise of his relationship.

Whether it be due to the alcohol in his system or the fear of making his heartbreak public knowledge- Luke quickly scrambles up from the floor and begins spilling last night's mistakes into the sink.

Ashton merely sighs, wincing at the pained whimpers leaving Luke's lips. This sight is practically a normality to him, but it never got any easier to watch.

Knowing the last thing Luke wants is pity, Ashton ignores his best friend heaving into the sink. "I don't think you should have some random walking around the house" He advises. "All it takes is for the wrong girl to make their way into your bed and-"

"I know." Luke groans sickly. "All the deep dark secrets of the band will be aired out to the public. I'll go kick her out once I catch my breath."

Ashton allows his eyes to wander over his best friend and bandmate for just a second longer, more worry filling his veins than usual. They'd be going back on tour soon and Luke was nowhere near stable. Most days the boy couldn't even go out in public without having a panic attack and demanding to go home- how could he possibly perform?

"You still have to pick up your costume." Ashton reminds Luke gently as he walks over to the couch where a fresh basket of laundry sits. He sifts through the basket before finding a pair of cotton shorts and a hoodie. "I sent you the address. It'd be easier on you to go ahead and get it done. Make sure you're completely sober first, though."

Due to Luke's severe distaste for music release parties and his initial refusal to have one in the first place, the rest of the band had to come together to find a solution. So, this was not a music release party, but a costume party- in March...

It didn't really make sense, but if that's what it took to get Luke to agree, then they didn't care.

Ashton quickly slips on the fresh pair of clothes over the boxers he'd slept in, running his hands through his hair to make himself look decent before grabbing his keys off of the hook by the door. "I'm going to get coffee with the boys, do you want anything? Maybe even tag along this time?"

Luke shakes his head, his back to Ashton. "No," He says simply, his eyes downcast as he braces his arms on the sink, his muscles shaking with exhaustion.

Ashton gives the boy one last worried glance before slipping out of the door. It wasn't healthy in the slightest, but it was their routine. Party, wake up, and remind Luke to kick his fuck of the night out before they realized their hookup was famous, meet the boys for coffee, and come back and help Luke recover from his hangover.

The brunette walks into the familiar doors of the coffee shop, ordering his usual before making his way to the back deck of the small cafe. Calum and Michael are already sitting there, deep in conversation about some ideas they had for visuals on the tour.

"Any progress?" Michael asks hopefully as Ashton sits down with a huff.

The hazel-eyed boy shrugs solemnly. "He agreed to celebrate the song tonight. That's all we can ask of him right now."

Calum huffs in frustration, utterly upset at himself, rather than Luke. He was his best friend and yet he was at a loss when it came to making him feel better. But, he tried not to be too hard on himself considering the only thing that really seemed to make Luke feel better was alcohol and a little bit of blow.

Just as the tanner boy opens his mouth to suggest something along the lines of throwing Luke in a freezing cold pool and hoping the shock to his system rewires his brain, Ashton's phone lights up with a notification.

"It's Arlo." Ashton exhales. "I don't think it's going to work."

What Luke didn't know was that his three best friends had been planning this party as soon as they heard the lyrics to Want You Back months ago. They were so raw-so genuine that the boys came to the conclusion that if Arlo heard the song she'd have no choice but to come back to him.

But, Arlo would never, ever listen to the song on her own free will.

So, Ashton begged her for months to come to the "costume party" at his house. He threw in a bunch of believable bullshit like wanting Arlo to see the house he'd bought for himself- that Luke definitely did not live in too- and reminding her how much he missed her.

That last bit was true, for he barely saw Arlo anymore. She was so busy all the time and Ashton was working on the new album, so this party is perfect timing.

Ashton Irwin's eyes go wide at the text message on his screen, his face paling as he looks up to the other boys in shock. "She said she'd come."

"No way." Calum gapes. Hell, he couldn't even get Arlo to agree to meet him for coffee. The last thing he expected is for her to come to a party at Ashton's. "Did you lie to her about Luke?"

Ashton nods guiltily. "I told her that he's out of town."

Michael chews on his bottom lip nervously. "Guys, I'm not so sure about this." He admits. "I hate to be pessimistic, but Luke had a mental breakdown three years ago and he never recovered. He's been spiraling downwards since that night. What makes you think that seeing her after three years, especially on the night where we're releasing his first song about her, won't make it worse?"

Ashton looks between the two boys hopefully. "That's a chance we'll just have to take."

✰

"C'mon, Arlo." He pleads. "Give me one more."

Arlo's chest heaves, her entire body shaking in his grasp as small pants leave her lips. She pinches her brown eyes shut, the intensity becoming too much. "I can't." She whines. "Seriously, I tap out-"

"You'll thank me later.'" He taunts, his hands resting firmly on her waist. "Don't give up on me now. C'mon one more." His fingertips that rest on her waist drum against her side comfortingly, encouraging the girl.

With one final burst of energy, Arlo grits her teeth and uses the last of her core strength to propel herself upwards. Her form is sloppy, the pull-up bar grazing her chin as she completes her last rep, but luckily, he accepts it.

Arlo's feet meet the ground and she collapses to the floor, welcoming the feel of the cool hardwood on her sweaty skin. "I hate you, you know that?" She says breathily, her chest heaving with exhaustion.

"You won't hate me when you come out on the other side of a four-day bender barely unscathed." Beck smiles down at the girl, plopping down next to her. He grins mischievously as Arlo cringes when his legs bump against hers, enjoying the annoyance on her face.

"I'm not going." Arlo groans, sitting up in order to pull her damp hair off of her neck. "Find someone else to put up with you."

Beck laughs, the sound floating through the small studio apartment that they'd shared for the last couple of years. "You're a real baby when you exercise, Lo." He pokes her in the side, watching in amusement as she swats his hand away.

"And you're lucky I enjoy my job." Arlo quips back, manning to drag herself up from the floor. As she makes her way over to her dresser in the corner of the room, her eyes find the small analog clock by her bed. She couldn't put off going any longer, they were already going to be late.

"I'll take a shower and then while I get ready you can take yours?" Arlo suggests, distracting herself with picking out a suitable outfit instead of acknowledging the anxiety brewing in her veins. She'd seen Ashton plenty of times over the last three years, but Calum and Michael were a different story- was she even ready to see them again?

For the last three years, Arlo Abbot was hell-bent on distracting herself. She didn't know how healthy that distraction would have ended up being if Beck didn't catch her before she left New York that night.

Beck was still concerned, assuming that the boy who stormed into the bathroom was some crazy ex. Even though Arlo assured him that she was okay, Beck took her in. Although the man was five years older than herself, she could recognize the familiar look of heartbreak in his own eyes and she chose to trust him.

What Arlo didn't know when she approached Beck was that he had just broken up with the love of his life as well. Beck was a small indie artist signed to the same label as 5 Seconds of Summer, which explained why he was at the party in the first place. He'd been struggling with his album and well, when he found out Arlo was a songwriter with a freshly broken heart, he knew he had something with the potential to be extraordinary.

The circumstances were perfect and suddenly Arlo found herself living in a small studio apartment with Beck, coping with her heartbreak by writing with him. They had a love-hate relationship, for while Beck knew how to annoy her like no other, he also knew how her mind worked like the back of his hand.

Love wasn't something on the table for either of them. Beck was more of an annoying older brother figure than anything and Arlo clung to that. She needed someone to comfort her but she also needed to be kicked into the deep end sometimes.

For a long time, Arlo didn't feel like she deserved to be happy.

She refused to go out, not even to watch Beck play songs written by the two of them. He'd mostly broken her of the habit and could convince her to hit the town with him, but the girl refused to attend any of his shows and he had a small inkling as to why.

Despite this, Beck had somehow managed to convince the younger girl to attend the music festival he was playing in the following month- hence the exercise. He couldn't have her passing out on him, after all.

Arlo gets ready for Ashton's costume party in what feels like slow motion. Not even the sight of Beck putting on a headband with mouse ears and drawing a little pink nose onto his own could loosen her up.

Something was off, she could feel it in her bones.

Beck teases her, calling her lame as she settles on a simple pair of black leather shorts and a low-cut blacktop. Arlo felt like blending in and she definitely did not feel like dressing up in a costume.

Her heart is still steadily rising in her throat as they pull up to Ashton's large house in Beck's beat-up truck. "Fuck, I forgot how rich your best friend is." Beck gapes, his green eyes wide as he hops out of the car.

After Arlo joins him at his side, they begin walking up the front pathway of the house and he can't help but notice how slow she's walking. "You okay? We can go home if you want, kid." He gently reminds her.

Beck had spent three years learning about the way Arlo coped and one thing he learned was that when the girl was done, she was done. The last thing he needed was for Arlo to shut down for months at a time again.

Arlo swallows thickly at the sight of all of the cars littering the front of the house. People seem to be everywhere, spilling out of the house and onto the lawn. The house is much, much larger than she expected as well and for some reason, she can't imagine Ashton living there by himself.

"I'm okay." Arlo reassures him, forcing a smile.

Although, that reassurance quickly goes right down the drain as soon as they walk through the door. The air inside the house is thick with smoke from cigarettes and weed and music is playing loudly throughout the house.

It's not just any music, but the boy's old music- the music she'd help write, the music she'd inspired. Arlo's brown eyes find a big banner in the living room that reads 'Want You Back' and suddenly she can't breathe.

Beck, who has a firm grip on her wrist, feels the way her heartbeat skyrockets under his touch. He looks at her in concern, immediately finding signs of panic on her face. The shaggy-haired boy curses under his breath and quickly drags Arlo toward the stairs

Arlo's head is spinning as she stumbles along behind Beck, her eyes widening as she swears she sees no other than Calum Hood. But, the Calum she remembered had straight hair and a blonde streak, and this man had a head full of curls and wore a leather jacket and plaid pants.

In a matter of seconds, the girl is tugged into an upstairs bathroom as Beck quickly swings the door shut. "Okay, maybe this was a bad idea." He frowns. "I need you to talk to me, Arlo." He says worriedly, green eyes scanning over her face.

Arlo gulps, her eyes darting around nervously. "I don't belong here." Her voice cracks.

Beck feels his heart break for the girl. He knows a distraction is exactly what she needs so he quickly searches the bathroom, finding a discarded eyeliner pencil on the counter. "Because it's a costume party and you're not in costume, duh." He rolls his eyes playfully.

Arlo narrows her brown eyes, her back meeting the bathroom counter as she backs away from the mischievous boy in front of her. "Beck. You know that's not what I mean." Arlo huffs, though she can't really scold him when he's dressed like a mouse of all things.

"Here, let me help you out." Beck takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he steps closer to her, holding up the eyeliner pencil. "A couple of lines and you can be a proper cat." He playfully cages her in, causing the girl to scowl as she ducks away from him.

Arlo leans away from him, her back meeting the bathroom mirror as she sends an annoyed look Beck's way. "You're insufferable and that's definitely not sanitary- watch it!" Arlo gasps as Beck gets the eyeliner pencil a little too close, nearly smudging the product across her cheek.

Just as Beck braces his hands on the counter in order to steady himself, the bathroom door swings open. Arlo freezes, one of her hands is on Beck's shoulder, prepared to push him away, while the other rests against the mirror for support.

The man standing in the doorway is so, so unfamiliar but so familiar all at once. He looks so different that she almost doesn't recognize him, causing the girl to double-take. Arlo's entire body stills, her blood running cold as a haunting pair of blue eyes meet her own for the first time in three goddamn years.

Although, he's not looking at her, but her position and the older man slotted between her legs. A scoff leaves Luke's pink lips. "Oh, you have got to be fuckin' kidding me."

ps we love beck, beck is out king, beck looked after our girl while she was super duper sad

we're almost at 50k reads and petrichor is at #1 in the lukehemmings tag!! how insane is that??? ily guys sm :,)