"For goodness' sake

I wasn't told you'd be this cold

Now it's my time to depart, and

I just had a change of heart"

✰

For the first time in her life, Arlo wasn't sure if she was happy to be home.

As Luke stands at the end of her driveway with his hand in hers, she kind of wishes she could run away with him forever. No paparazzi, no family problems, no fear of the future- just living in the moment.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible. Luke had to get home to check on the bookstore after being gone for a week. He also had to pack considering the next event on their schedule was to fly to London and do a couple of big interviews and performances with BBC. They had an award show as well.

It was something that wasn't originally in the schedule, but fans were getting antsy and the label figured it would be damage control to do a few performances while the boys finished up the album.

After being informed of the trip, Arlo had reluctantly told Luke that mentally, she wasn't ready to tag along. They had a long, heartfelt talk and she told him about how she was still recovering from the paparazzi ambush as well as the new attention she'd been getting now that the world knew who she was to Luke.

Of course Luke fucking hated the idea of her not being there, but he also felt extremely guilty for his career being the reason she was struggling with something internally. So, he put his own feelings aside and assured her that he'd be just fine if she wanted to stay home, even if he would miss her.

Even if he was calm when he assured her that she was alright, Luke was freaking the fuck out on the inside. He had no idea their change in lifestyle was hurting her and it made him sick to think about.

Originally, Luke had tried to argue the extra trip, especially because Arlo wasn't coming along. He forcefully reminded the label that he'd already finished two other songs himself- Catch Fire, a song he'd started when he got a little to high and began thinking about what a certain blonde degenerate of a human would think of him now.

He'd also written a song originally called Catch 22 that then became The Space Between a Rock and a Hard Place about how he felt about his newfound fame and the consequences of it. His conversation with Arlo had originally inspired the song and he scrawled it down in his notebook while she was sleeping against his shoulder on the plane ride home.

"You sure you don't want me to walk you in?" Luke nudges his girl as he plasters a smile on his face, even if he was worried on the inside. Arlo looked sort of pale and it was enough to set off warning bells in his head. "I'd be a pretty shit boyfriend if I didn't."

"My parents are home." Arlo swallows thickly, her eyes warily scanning over their cars in the driveway. "I didn't think you'd want to meet them."

Luke furrows his brows, tightening his grip on her hand. "Why wouldn't I?" Sure, Luke had never been the type of guy that girls took home to meet their parents, but he wasn't anywhere near the same person he was before.

"I don't know." Arlo blows out a breath. "My dad is gonna talk your ear off and my mom-"

"Lo." Luke cuts her off swiftly with a kiss- on the cheek of course, just in case her dad was watching through the window, for Luke certainly did not want to make a bad first impression- "It's not a big deal, alright? You met mine, didn't you?"

Arlo nearly rolls her eyes. "That wasn't the same. Your parents are..."

"Self-righteous assholes? Yeah, tell me about it." Luke grins, his fingertips ghosting her waist as he tries to loosen her up. The girl looked like she was on the verge of shaking and Luke had no idea why. As far as he knew, she had a picture-perfect home life.

"Okay." Arlo nods, beginning to lead him towards the door.

Her heart is pounding in her chest as she knocks on the door, her free hand clinging to Luke's for dear life. For one, she had a bad feeling in her stomach that she couldn't place- it was intuition of some sort and she couldn't help but think something bad was coming her way. Secondly, her dad's car was parked in the driveway, which he never did because when she was younger some teenage boys- who Calum was more than likely a part of- egged his car.

Arlo's dad is the one who opens the door, surprise on his face. Of course, he'd been communicating with his daughter, but all things considered he'd gotten the day she was set to return home mixed up.

Regardless, her father doesn't hesitate to take her in his arms. "Arlo! I missed you, honey, how were LA and San Fran?" He asks, holding her tightly.

Arlo smiles shyly as she pulls away. It felt kind of weird to have Luke standing behind her, but the blond doesn't seem nervous in the slightest as he introduces himself to her father, a perfectly charming smile on his face.

In fact, Arlo is in almost a state of shock as Luke and her dad begin talking and he even invites the younger boy inside. Luke deems it safe to hold her hand again and pulls the two of them inside the house he'd already been in several times.

As Luke and her dad immerse themselves in a conversation, Arlo gingerly lets go of his hand and begins walking toward the living room in shock. There were boxes everywhere. All of the usual furniture was in place, but there were a few things missing.

It all hits her at once, her dad's sports trophies are gone from the mantel, his favorite mug is no longer sitting on the coffee table, the picture of the two of them on her first day of school is taken down from the wall.

"Arlo?" Her dad's voice calls.

Arlo feels as if her ears are ringing as she turns to face her father and a concerned-looking Luke. "Where are you going?" Her voice cracks with emotion.

"Arlo..." Her dad sighs, his eyes flicking over to the boy he'd just met. "I don't think now is the time. Why don't you and I take Luke out for dinner and then we'll come home and I'll explain-"

Her heart is practically crawling up her throat, her stomach turning. "You want me to just go out to dinner and pretend like you're not moving out?"

She can see the way Luke's blue eyes widen, his hands instinctively reaching out towards her to comfort her only to realize it wasn't his place. Her father sighs, dragging his hand down his face. "You're grown up now, Arlo. You're off exploring the world, there's no reason for me to stay here and put up with a relationship that died out a long time ago."

Luke physically winces at the statement, his own heart aching as he watches the girl practically crumble in front of him. Her entire face falls and he can see her brown eyes gloss over, her bottom lip trembling with emotion.

As badly as he wants to step in and take her far away, he knows it's not his place.

"I'm going to go." Arlo shakes her head, sniffling slightly, though she doesn't let a single tear spill from her waterline. "I can't do this."

Arlo's father's face seems to fall as well, but he nods in understanding. "Will you be home tonight?"

The girl shrugs, mumbling out an "I don't know" as she quickly hugs her father goodbye and drags Luke out of the house.

It's nearing dark now, their flight had been later in the day to allow them more time away. Arlo's thankful for the minimal lighting as the two of them step outside, allowing her to hide most of the emotion on her face.

"Lo..." Luke begins hesitantly. He was no stranger to family problems, but his were entirely different. Luke was hurt when his family refused to accept him, but he hadn't truly loved them since was younger. Arlo, on the other hand, lived for her family and it was clear to see.

"I don't- I can't talk about it right now." Arlo's voice wavers as she clings to Luke's hand for dear life, dragging them both away from the house as fast as she can.

The girl feels like screaming at herself as the corner of her eyes burns with tears. Don't cry, Arlo. She repeats it over and over, hoping that Luke won't say something sweet that breaks the last of her resolve.

"Can we just go to the bookstore?" She croaks out, not bothering to look at Luke over her shoulder in fear that the sight of him might do her in.

"Arlo, baby, just slow down." Luke pleads, gently tugging her back to his chest. She stumbles a bit, not expecting him to stop so suddenly, but his hands are on her waist in an instant. "Let's just breathe for a sec, okay?"

Luke can't see her face due to the late hour and her hair is falling in front of her face. Carefully, as if not to startle her, his hand cups her jaw. He feels her exhale shakily as his thumb traces over the soft skin of her cheeks, slight surprise flooding through him as he finds the skin free of any moisture.

The blond isn't quite sure why his girl refuses to show emotion. Of course, he never wanted to see her cry. Fuck, just seeing her eyes well over the night before in San Francisco was enough to make him feel like he'd taken a punch to the gut.

Sometimes, Luke just felt like he couldn't read her and he hated it. From the time they met, he'd had to learn to read Arlo's body language and listen carefully to her words, for she would never show her emotions outright.

It made him feel like everything he did was a shot in the dark and now as she stands before him, practically trembling with pent-up emotion, he doesn't quite know what to do.

"I just don't want to be here." Arlo's voice is desperate, her volume increasing as she becomes frantic. "Luke, please I just want to leave." She glances between the house and his concerned features several times. "Take me anywhere else I don't care as long as you're there and we're far away-"

"Okay, okay." Luke runs a hand through her hair as he tugs her closer. She was beginning to work herself up and it was starting to scare him. "We can't just walk around at night here anymore. The fans know about our hometown, they know about the bookstore too so we can't just-"

"The bookstore?" Arlo's voice cracks and Luke thinks that she might finally let the tears pooling in her eyes spill but she doesn't. "What do you mean we can't go there anymore? Luke that's my favorite place in the entire town, yours too." Her voice wavers. "That's where we met, Luke."

Luke winces, wanting more than anything just to get them inside somewhere where they could be alone. He'd seen pictures of fans in their hometown on social media and now that everyone knew they were home, he was positive a few might be lurking around.

"I know, sweetheart." Luke says gently. "We'll talk about it, I promise. Let's just spend the night at Calum's and we can go first thing in the morning. Anything you want to do."

Luckily, Arlo gives him a hesitant nod and allows him to lead her across the street. Calum is downstairs playing video games in the basement, but it wasn't uncommon for Luke to spend the night and he'd sent him a text just in case.

Luke makes sure Arlo is calmed down enough to not be hysterical, whispering to her quietly as he coaxes her into the shower he'd claimed as his own at Calum's. While she starts her shower he jogs down to get the bags they'd left at her house.

It takes him no more than a few minutes, but Arlo had broken the second he shut the bathroom door behind him. She didn't want Luke to see her upset, but alone in the shower with no one to see her, Arlo allows the tears to flow freely.

The girl's hand presses against her chest, trying desperately to dull the pain in her heart. She never wanted either of her parents to be unhappy, but them splitting apart after being together her entire life was a hard pill to swallow. Especially considering she'd idolized their love, wanting to find someone to love her just like they loved each other when she grew up.

It was a slap in the face to her hope for untainted love. She was finally beginning to think that maybe, she'd just had tunnel vision about the ideology of romantics the whole time. But it seemed her gut was right all along.

It hurt even more that the one constant thing in her life was no more. Sure, she'd be on the road somewhere new every day with the band, never knowing where the next stop was. But, she could come home to her parents and still have that sliver of her old life.

Now, that was ruined. She couldn't go to the bookstore because the fans knew about it, she couldn't go home because she couldn't bear the weight of walking into a broken home, she couldn't write songs on the beach without being attacked, she couldn't even hold her boyfriend's hand in public without being photographed.

It was all too much, all at once, and it had happened too fast for her to process in a healthy way.

Arlo does her best to calm her breathing as she hears Luke open the door of the shower. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and makes room for him in the shower as she hears his clothes drop to the floor.

Luke's face reads nothing but worry as he takes her into his arms. Her hair is soaked but she'd made no move to wash it and her under eyes are puffy, letting him know everything he needs to. "Why do you wait until I'm gone to cry?"

Arlo sniffles sadly, her cheek pressing to his bare chest. The water burned her back, but the feeling was nice in a way. "Why do we always end up in the shower when I'm upset?" She forces a smile, not wanting to bring Luke down with her.

But, Luke doesn't seem to take her words as a joke. In fact, his brows furrow in thought. "Because this is when we're most vulnerable. It's intimate in a way, but it's still innocent." He says quietly, his voice no louder than the shower stream.

Luke doesn't pressure her to talk, but he does begin working shampoo through her hair. Her eyes flutter closed as his hands run through her dark hair, allowing him a chance to observe her face as long as he pleased without her shying away.

His heart hurt for her and he wanted to take every ounce of her emotional turmoil away. A part of him wanted to tell her that he loved her and hope that the confession could fill the gaps in her heart as well as take some of the stress off of his.

Every day he didn't tell her seemed to be harder than the last.

✰

They woke early the next morning, intent on spending the day together before the band had to leave for London.

Arlo was considering going with him now that home didn't feel like home anymore, but she'd kept that to herself, not wanting to get Luke's hopes up just in case. As hard as it was to admit, a part of her didn't know how to function without him any longer. He'd become a part of her, imbedding himself into her veins just as he told her she had into his.

She didn't know how healthy that was, but she was in too deep to stop now.

"Can we still go to the bookstore?" Arlo asks as they sit at the bar in Calum's kitchen. Luke had made- or tried to make- breakfast and they'd cleaned up, leaving a plate out for Calum when he awoke sometime in the afternoon.

"If you want." Luke hums, his blue eyes looking brighter in the early morning light. "Do you really like that shitty store that much?"

Arlo pouts. "It isn't shitty." She says, her tone more somber than he would like. "I love it, it's perfect"

Luke's heart thumps in his chest at the sight of his girl with her knees tucked up to her chest, the strap of her tank top sliding off her shoulder, her lips still puffy from sleep, and maybe the few kisses they'd shared that morning.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

"Well, if you love it then I guess I love it too." Luke muses, rounding the counter and taking her hand. "C'mon, we can steal Calum's car for a few hours."

There's a weird sense of deja vu in the air as Luke drives Calum's flashy car to the bookstore. Unlike the first time Arlo was in the car, Calum wasn't swerving through traffic and jumping curves, making her regret taking up his idea of checking out his best friend's small shop.

Arlo wondered what would happen if she would have declined his offer and walked to the original bookstore she was going to instead.

The atmosphere had been drastically different than the one the night before. Luke was happy, his usual clinginess apparent as he danced them around to music in Calum's kitchen and his hand rests on her thigh as they drive through town.

Arlo almost feels normal again.

That is, until the car rolls to a stop in front of the bookstore. Luke almost slams on the brakes in surprise and Arlo can't quite feel her own feet as the two of them scramble out of the car, desperately hoping that the sight in front of her eyes isn't real.

"You've got to be fuckin' kidding me." Luke grits out, his tone so low that it sends a shiver down Arlo's spine.

Hemmings Bookstore has been completely vandalized. There's spray paint covering the front walls, vulgar words, the name of the band, social media handles, and phone numbers. The sign Arlo had loved so much hanging on by a thread where someone had obviously tried to steal it. A window has been cracked and the doorknob of the door is wrecked where it had been tried to be broken into.

And just like that, the last of Arlo's normalcy is ripped right from her already fragile hands.