Dear Broken_Orbit, leaving you hurt me, too. No one ever thinks about how much it hurts to be the one who leaves, they get to caught up in being sympathetic for the one who gets left. Everyone feels for the brokenhearted, but never for the one who did the heart breaking.

Why am I the enemy, why are you the victim. It wasn't easy to initiate the breakup, it wasn't easy to leave something that I was so sure I wanted. It wasn't easy to leave someone I loved. It wasn't easy to hurt the person I would never wanted to see hurt.

I don't think you ever saw how hard it was for me, and in your defense Broken_Orbit, I wouldn't have either. You laid down next to me – the person you so dearly loved – knowing it would be the last time – that's so gut-wrenching.

Just thinking about it make my body feel like putty. You can't move, because you would just know that when you move, you would have to leave. All you would want to do is stay, laying by their side a few seconds longer. Hours seem like micro seconds; All I ever wanted to do was ignore the differences, the problems, and stay by your side.

But finally, I had to pick myself up and leave, and I'm sorry you can't forgive me for that, Broken_Orbit. I'm sorry that she came into our lives and you so desperately believe that she is at fault for our breakup. The truth is, she isn't.

And now you have found another, the difference between me and the guy you're now with is that he needs you in a way that I never did. You needed someone to need you, to rely on you, to want to be with you. You wanted a love free of vulnerabilities and challenges.

You wanted a man to just be yours, and not want anything else. You wanted someone you knew would never leave you. With me, you would have always had a teasing doubt in the back of your mind. Because I didn't need you; I wanted you.

You were my first choice, and yet still, that wasn't enough to make you feel secure. That wasn't enough to convince you that I was all in, even when it was true. But I guess that's what made me stop, right?

Had you tried for me, luv, had you tried form, we would have been in love forever. But you didn't, and sitting around waiting for you only made things harder on me. I've accepted the fact that the you I once knew is gone.

I didn't want to move on from you. I hoped in the deepest cell of my heart that you would go back to being my sweet luv. But eventually, I chose to move on. I chose to fix what you shattered. It didn't come easily, and nearly everyday is a struggle... but I have to. Please don't hold that against me, as I have not held your demons against you.

Maybe if you had loved me because I didn't need you, then maybe we could have worked, but you loved me in spite of the fact that I didn't need you. And that would have never worked. So I left. In a twisted way, but had you trusted me, I never would have left.

But just look at you now, you found what you were looking for. You're happy, you're in love, and you're complete with a guy who needs you. A guy who puts you on a pedestal, and doesn't just trust you completely, but might even trust you more than he trusts himself.

And I guess I'm happy for you, partially because I don't have any other choice, but mostly because I know I could have never been that guy. I would have never wanted to.