Esme and Regulus sat opposite each other at the dining table in Grimmauld Place. They had been hiding out there, since escaping the cave a week prior, as Walburga and Orion were away for the month so they had the place to themselves for the time being. They wouldn't be able to stay there much longer, and soon they'd have to pack up their belongings to officially go on the run from the Death Eaters and the Ministry - for betraying the Dark Lord, and being Death Eaters, respectively.

Regulus had been having difficulty moving past what had happened in the cave, and most nights he was consumed by nightmares that regularly startled both of them awake in a consistent pattern of every two or three hours.

So to try and ease this somewhat, as they prepared to go out and find out more about horcruxes, Esme was trying to distract him with more lighthearted conversation.

"It's... I don't know how to describe it. I miss this idea of a warm, loving home where I felt safe. I never had that though. My family were never particularly close, but now I can't go to them, I feel like I'm missing something. Does that makes sense?"

Esme later thought perhaps she could have done better at the lighthearted conversation.

"Hiraeth." Regulus stated shortly, watching her with sadness swimming in his eyes.

"Sorry, what?" Esme frowned, blinking her eyes quickly.

He shrugged, "It's a Welsh word. Concept, really. It means longing. But there's this idea of being homesick for somewhere that doesn't exist, or you can't go to anymore. I feel the same sometimes, particularly at Hogwarts - I would want to return home, but not here, a different home. A homely, warm and comfortable place."

Esme scoffed, "Welsh? Where on Earth did you learn Welsh?"

"I took some lessons one summer."

"Right, well that makes it not weird." She laughed slightly.

"It was a particularly boring summer."

She pursed her lips, attempting to hide her smirk as she replied, "I'm not sure it was the summer that was boring. What kind of person impulsively learns Welsh? I mean, of all the languages!"

"Forget I said anything."

"I'm never forgetting that. If anything, I'm going to need more details."

"Shut up, Avery." Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Make me." Esme smirked and leant across to swiftly peck him on the lips before sitting back down, the smirk still plastered on her face.

"You know what... I think I can get away with whatever I want now I've saved your life." She grinned proudly.

He rolled his shoulders back with a slight discomfort, the light catching his face in such a way as to highlight the deep circles hanging under his dark eyes. "I'm glad you can joke about that."

"Sorry." She offered, "I didn't mean to be insensitive."

"No, it's-it's fine. A lot to cope with, is all - nearly dying, I mean." He mumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose. It had only been a week since the incident in the cave, yet not a night went by where it didn't haunt Regulus' subconscious. Esme knew this all too well as she was often startled awake by Regulus writhing whilst in the midst of a nightmare.

The Inferi seemed to follow him, always in the corner of his eye or lurking at the back of his mind.

In the heat of the moment, when Regulus and Kreacher had been in the cave together after retrieving the locket, it had been an easy decision for him to make.

Regulus didn't hesitate to send Kreacher away to destroy the locket and leave him trapped there - because he had believed he was going to get found out, and if he was alive that would put not only himself but his loved ones at risk too. That was why he signed the letter. It wouldn't matter if he was dead, and his family would never be punished for it.

If he had died, when the Dark Lord found out he had stolen the locket, then they could be safe.

It's also important to remember that when you're dead, you don't have to live with the consequences of your actions.

He would have never had to face Esme again, and never have had to explain himself to her. He would have never had to rationalise his decision to die to her. He would never have had to see her face when she found out the news. He would have had a quick death with little to consider. But now, alive and back at home, the gravity of that decision had begun to settle in on Regulus, and he was horrified about what he had so nearly done. He had so nearly done something so cowardly.

Esme didn't see it that way, though. She expressed to him over and over about how brave and selfless it all had been. It made Regulus feel a bit better and a bit more sane.

"It's a good think my parents are still travelling." Regulus thought out loud, "Though I don't know what we'll do when they get back next week."

She sighed gently, "We both know it's not safe to stay here. We'll have to leave."

"I don't think the Dark Lord will go back to... The cave. The amount of defences that there are, I think that was a one time trip for him." He suggested.

This made Esme feel a little bit better as she added, "So the chances are he won't read your letter for some time. So, for now, we're safe."

"Relatively speaking."

"Still... I wrote to Dirk and Dumbledore so my parents shouldn't be alerted that I'm not at Hogwarts. But, when your parents come back... We can't stay here." She explained.

He nodded reluctantly, "I know."

"We'll be putting them in danger. If we get found out, it's best they genuinely don't know where we are, or they'll be at risk of being tortured or... You know." Her voice trailed off as she slightly regretted bringing it up.

"You're right. Kreacher can destroy the horcrux while we go into hiding. Once we actually find out how to destroy horcruxes that is." He mumbled, lifting a mug of tea up to his lips.

"I'd joke about us running away to live in a dark cave in Scotland but..." Esme pursed her lips as she finished.

"Yeah, too soon." Regulus sighed.

He wished the cave wouldn't have affected him as much as it had. It's just, there was something so traumatising about being in such danger, so close to death and unable to do anything. He had been utterly useless. Not only had he been unable to help himself but, god forbid, if Esme had needed it he wouldn't have been able to help her either - and that was what really hurt.

"Regulus..." Esme reached across the table to take his hand, squeezing his fingers reassuringly as she appeared to read his mind and comfort, "None of what happened was your fault. You couldn't have known. Don't hate yourself for what the potion did."

"I could have known though. That's the worst thing. If-if I had just taken a moment and asked Kreacher then I would have known but... I barrelled into that situation without stopping to think. I-I was angry about what I'd allowed happen to Kreacher by sending him off with the Dark Lord and I was terrified that I was wasting time by even researching the horcruxes. I thought I was doing something so brave, and that might make up for me being so cowardly when I didn't tell you about what I was doing." Regulus complained, pulling his hand sharply away and folding his arms as he looked down at the table.

"It's not your fault." Esme insisted, "You need to know that and believe that, because it's true."

Then.

A knock at the door.

It shattered any sense of ease the two had built up in their own little private bubble.

"Who is that?" Regulus asked, slowly rising to his feet and reaching for his wand in his pocket.

Esme shrugged slightly, doing the same as she replied, "I certainly didn't organise a party."

He waited, then a second knock sounded at the door. "Do you want to open it and I'll stand guard?" He offered.

Esme only nodded in response, and the two of them made their way towards the front door as quietly as they could.

"Ready?" She whispered, one hand tightly gripping her wand as the other hovered over the door handle.

"As I'll ever be." Regulus responded, stood with his wand pointed directly at the door, ready for whoever was on the other side of it.

Esme swallowed, took a deep breath, and turned the door knob.

With a long, drawn out creak, the front door opened and she backed behind it and out of harm's way.

She watched Regulus, waiting to see what his reaction was, but nothing happened. His face was completely blank and he showed no sign of anything that could be interpreted to guess who was at the door.

Just as Esme opened her mouth, the question 'Who is it?' forming on her lips, Regulus finally stammered the words, "I-erm, c-can I help you?"

"What a peculiar greeting, Mr Black. I haven't heard that one before."

Regulus looked down at the wand in his hand, pointing at the person in question, blushed furiously, and quickly lowered his arm and pocketed the wand out of sight.

A familiar voice.

One which Esme didn't associate with danger. So she wasted no time in stepping out from behind the door to stand in between Regulus and the visitor.

Even though she had recognised the voice, seeing the person before her was still a shock.

Esme felt her throat dry up, but she nevertheless tentatively greeted, "Mother?"