It turned out that perhaps it wasn't so much fear that had been keeping Esme up at night, but rather perhaps guilt.

After spending time with Regulus in the Hospital Wing, she had accompanied him to dinner and finally confessed the extent to which she had been sneaking about over the summer. Whilst there was still this ever-present fear lingering at the back of Esme's mind, at least she could now get a few hours sleep at night.

Dumbledore had also written to Andromeda and provided her with a safe house for her and her partner to shelter in away from the Death Eater's clutches.

Piper was also sending semi-regular updates on her blossoming relationship with Astra Minchum, who apparently had aspirations of playing for the Holyhead Harpies quidditch team, immediately putting her in the good books of both Regulus and Levi.

It seemed that for a short while, despite the growing darkness in the wider wizarding world, things were running smoothly.

Sometimes Esme felt a few hours passing by where she didn't even think about being a Death Eater, and it was in those short times where she finally started to feel as though she could fit in with everyone else. Despite her hard exterior, that was all she'd ever really wanted.

Regulus, on the other hand, was facing quite an uphill battle. At first, renouncing his family's pureblood supremacist beliefs had been easy.

As time went on though, things began to get more difficult. Regulus had spent his entire life trying to be the perfect son for his parents - for the benefit of both Walburga and Orion, but also Sirius, who faced less pressure when his younger brother was the centre of attention.

Where Sirius and Esme had always put themselves before their families opinions, Regulus hadn't. He had simply adopted whatever persona was required of him to please those around him.

That was why, as now young adults, Sirius and Esme had such strong and refined identities and Regulus sometimes felt rather lost.

He was having to pick apart everything his parents had taught him, and was trying to discover who he really was in the months before a full on war broke out.

It was a good thing Esme was always around, for she always made Regulus feel more comfortable and at ease. Though he didn't quite understand it himself, she somehow gave him the ability to be more confident in himself and see that as long as he tried to be as good as he could, he was worthy of anything.

"I just... I don't know... Are we sure this is entirely safe?" Dirk anxiously twirled his wand between his fingers as he looked around their surroundings.

Levi agreed, "This has got to be one of you worse ideas, Avery. I can believe you convinced me to come out here again."

"Oh would you two stop whining." Esme complained, "If all goes to plan, then it won't matter if this place is dangerous because we'll be able to defend ourselves."

"And until then?" Dirk asked, "I suppose we just risk it, do we?"

She nodded, "Of course."

"Let's get on with it, shall we? Let's not be out here for longer than we have to." Regulus reasoned as he stepped over a rather large tree root which was protruding from the soil. He didn't like being out in the Forbidden Forest anymore than the rest of them, but it was the only place they could find that offered some privacy.

"So..." Esme began, "What's first on the list?"

"Don't look at me." Levi held up his hands, "I didn't bring the list."

"What?"

"Nobody gave it to me!" He explained.

Dirk frowned, "Well who had it last?"

Esme pointed at Levi, "You did, Rogers. That's why I told you to bring it."

"When did you tell me that?" He asked.

"Well..." She thought back, "It was this morning before breakfast so... We were in the common room."

Levi laughed at this, "The Ravenclaw common room? Where I'm not allowed?"

"Ah... Perhaps." She muttered.

"Do you just keep talking when we're not around?" Levi inquired, "Do you even notice when people come and go?"

"Clearly you're just not worth my noticing." Esme retorted bitterly, pulling out her wand as a signal for the conversation to move on.

Originally, the group had begrudgingly agreed to go out to the Forbidden Forest as Esme had rather cleverly pointed out it would perhaps serve them well to practice up on some duelling.

It would prove to be particularly helpful as the Dark Lord was growing more and more powerful, and his presence was casting a shadow over more of their world.

The only problem was that they would have to teach the spells to themselves and whilst that had worked rather well for Esme and Regulus in regards to occlumency, curses and defensive charms could not be practiced on each other.

"Perhaps we could start with defensive spells?" Dirk suggested, very aware of the fact that he didn't want to get hurt.

And so began a rather haphazard first session of self taught Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Most of their time consisted of Esme casting jinxes and Levi failing to defend himself quickly enough, which resulted in a lot of bruising as he was sent flying into tree trunks. This also meant that Dirk and Regulus spent most of their time helping Levi to his feet and dusting him off.

Needless to say, after a couple of hours they were all rather exhausted and Levi was in a particularly foul mood.

"I hope there's cheesecake." Esme mused dreamily as the group wandered back up to the castle for dinner, "I'm really in the mood for cheesecake."

Regulus chuckled at this, slipping his hand into Esme's without realising it, "You've always been in love with cheesecake."

"Love is a very strong word. I have an appropriate amount of likeness for cheesecake." She stated, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Do you remember that time when your mother tried to teach us to bake a cheesecake?" He reminded her, already grinning ear-to-ear at the memory playing in his head.

"Oh, Merlin..." She grimaced, "I'd rather not remember it."

Regulus, now already giddy with laughter, couldn't resist finishing the story, "Y-you ate all of the batter without anyone knowing and then you spent the whole afternoon being sick everywhere!"

"Well it wasn't entirely my fault. I was young, I didn't realise it was unhealthy to eat essentially an entire bowl of cream cheese." Esme muttered.

"Besides..." She continued, "We couldn't have properly baked the cheesecake anyway because Ignatius ate all of the biscuits for the base."

Regulus laughed again, a warm feeling arising in him at being reminded of the fun and freedom that he shared in at the Avery household in his youth.

Their home had always been one where he was free to be a carefree child, running around and causing chaos with his best friend. Long before he became aware of why he never particularly liked his own house, the Avery home had been his safe haven.

"It really was a simpler time, wasn't it?" He thought.

"Simpler for all of us." Levi grumbled tiredly, "I really took for granted not being blasted backwards into trees and dirt."

"Oh calm down!" Esme exclaimed, "We both know you're looking forward to hexing me next time we go down there."

Levi couldn't hide his small smile at this as he mumbled "You're damn right, Avery."

Dirk interjected, "Perhaps we could not practice hexes? I don't want to get hurt. We should stick to charms, yes. What about the Patronus Charm?"

Truthfully, neither Esme nor Regulus particularly wanted to think about that. Talking about the Patronus Charm was an instant stepping stone to the Dementors, which were an easy link to Azkaban.

Despite never having actually talked about it, both of them were very aware of the fact that if the Dark Lord were to actually be defeated, then the Ministry would most likely throw them into Azkaban for being Death Eaters. No matter what they could say, there really wasn't much of an excuse for the Dark Mark branded into their skin.

Esme had practically accepted it at this point, that her freedom was limited. Eventually the Dark Lord would be overthrown, and all of the Death Eaters could easily name Esme and Regulus as complicit in their crimes.

"Maybe we could try that." Esme spoke softly, really hoping there was cheesecake for dessert as that might offer a pleasant distraction from her worries.

-

a/n

hi, me again

i haven't been entirely pleased with the last few chapters i've written but hey ho i published them regardless

but, i want to write chapters that you guys enjoy so, whilst i have a little bit of space to fill in the next few chapters i was wondering if there's anything in particular you guys wanted to see? like a scene or imagine? lmk

i have also spent so long working on this story that i can't even remember some of the early chapters like wow it's as if i'm reading the story for the first time aha

also tysm for the continued support and i adore reading all of your comments !