Esme sat in the corner of the train compartment, her knees hugged up to her chest as she watched Piper. The older girl was panicking. But not just panicking, the girl was on the verge of having a complete breakdown.

"I think I might be sick." Piper stated suddenly, halting her pacing as her face paled and she looked out of the window at the rolling hills.

Dirk sighed, "Just, take deep breaths. There's really no need to panic."

"You'll be fine." Esme mumbled feebly.

"N-no need to panic? I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with my life and I should have decided months ago! I'm just going to drift! Merlin!" Piper pulled at her hair and then suddenly let out a shriek as she tore a few blonde strands out.

"Get a job in Hogsmeade, then we can see you on the weekends during term." Esme suggested, rather unhelpfully.

Dirk nodded, not paying attention, "Sounds fascinating."

"A job in Hogsmeade? I don't want to sit around and wait for you guys!" Piper grumbled, collapsing down onto the bench.

"Oh!" Esme exclaimed, "If you get a job at the Three Broomsticks, you could get us free drinks!"

Piper blinked several times before replying, "Are you two even listening to me? This is serious!"

"What's serious?" Levi asked, stepping into the compartment and harshly shutting the door behind him. He glanced over at Piper, seeing her stressed expression, and decided to sit in the corner of the room closest to the door.

"You heard that from outside?" Esme laughed.

He nodded, "You can hear Pipes from the other end of the train."

"Are none of you taking my problems seriously?" Piper complained irritably.

Levi chuckled lightly before suggesting, "I know this might actually make you more annoyed at us, but perhaps you should have given your career some thought before you actually finished school?"

"Rogers, I absolutely am going to hex you. Perhaps I could have planned my future if we hadn't spent so long being petrified of Death Eaters." She grumbled.

"Guess that one's on me." Esme admitted.

Before Piper could retort again, a soft knock on the compartment door caused the group to turn to see who stood on the other side of the window.

The door slid open quietly to reveal Regulus, who moved to step into the room.

"You do realise your don't have to knock, right?" Levi pointed out with a snicker.

Regulus scoffed, "Well excuse me for being polite."

"Yes, yes, great. We really have to go, though." Esme hurried up to her feet, trying to usher Regulus back out of the door and into the corridor.

"What? Why?" He stammered, stumbling back out of the room.

"Things to do." She nodded, "Very important. Can't be late." She gently pushed him backwards.

He frowned, "Late for what?"

"See you guys later!" Esme called over her shoulders to the others before abruptly slamming the door behind them.

She continued to push Regulus down the corridor, her hands firmly on his shoulders as she guided him along.

"Esme? Where are we going? What-what are you doing?" He complained.

"Just, trust me." She insisted.

"Hold on." Regulus came to a standstill, stretching his arms out to hold firmly against the walls either side of him so Esme couldn't push him forward anymore, "Would you just explain what exactly is going on? You're being crazier than usual."

"Do you not trust me?" Normally, Esme could get Regulus to give in to whatever she wanted if she just kept twisting his words. Regulus was well aware of this tactic, and always chose to let the girl have her way because if he disagreed, she'd simply do what she wanted anyway but wouldn't tell him about it. Though, he wasn't going to allow that to happen this time.

"Esme, explain."

She sighed softly, "I just need to show you something important. Just, try not to get too annoyed."

This didn't comfort the boy in the slightest as he asked in disbelief, "Too annoyed?"

"Trust me, and promise you won't be mad at me?" Esme asked with a small smile.

Through gritted teeth he responded, "Fine. I won't get mad."

Regulus suspected he was going to get mad anyway. Esme knew he was going to get mad anyway.

She slid open one of the compartment doors to let Regulus enter the room first and to ensure that she could shut the door behind them so Regulus wouldn't run out.

"Esme... Is this some sort of sick joke?"

She clicked the lock of the door closed behind her and smiled sweetly as the boy turned back to face her with a very unimpressed expression across his features.

"You were meant to come ages ago! What took you so long?" Sirius Black burst out complaining, leaping up to his feet and pointing accusingly at Esme.

She scoffed, "I am sorry to inconvenience you. Next time I won't bother helping you out and doing all the work myself."

The older boy pursed his lips, deciding it was probably not best to start arguing with Esme again as he was trying to get on Regulus' good side again. "Alright, fair point." He nodded and sat back down by the window.

Regulus stood in the middle of the room, looking between the two utter lunatics, "Is someone going to explain what the hell is going on? Esme, will you ever stop scheming and meddling?"

"I'm helping! You're just acting like I'm not doing you a favour." She folded her arms.

"You're right, I'm kicking up such a fuss because this is exactly what I wanted to happen." He retorted with heavy sarcasm.

Esme had to resist the urge to roll her eyes, knowing full well this would only push Regulus further over the edge as he was already so close to storming out of the room.

At that point, the tension in the room couldn't have gotten much thicker, and Sirius was beginning to regret the idea of confronting his younger brother.

"Well go on then!" Esme urged him to speak up, "I've done my bit. What did you have to say?"

"Jeez, alright!" Sirius held up his hands before turning to his brother, "Listen, I know I made some mistakes, but..."

Regulus raised his eyebrows as he interrupted, "Made some mistakes? No. Mistakes are accidental. What you did, it was deliberate."

Esme reached out to gently place her hand in his arm as she mumbled, "Reg, just listen."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and pulling his arm free from her reach, "Yes, fine. Go on."

Sirius waited for his brother to sit down opposite him before continuing on. Of course Sirius knew what he'd done to anger the other boy so much but Sirius had always been taught to take care of himself first so... Could he really be blamed? Regulus certainly thought so.

"I... Erm... Wow this is tough." Sirius rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to force out the words, "I owe you an apology."

Regulus blinked. Completely caught off guard yet again, he had not been expecting that. When the brothers the younger and they disagreed about something, Sirius would always spiral into frantic denial. He wasn't sure either of them had ever honestly apologised to the other before.

"I didn't mean to-to leave you behind. I was so preoccupied with escaping that..." Sirius' voice trailed off slightly as he dreaded uttering the end of his sentence. Though Regulus had no problem finishing it, "That you forgot me."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room, cloaking everyone in a cold uneasiness. Neither Sirius nor Esme dared to even move a muscle as they both waited for Regulus' reaction.

After a long few minutes, the younger yet taller boy stood up and scoffed, "Right, well great apology. Thanks for that. Can I go now?" He looked over at Esme.

"Reg, come on. I just-I want to make things right, you know? I should have brought you with me when I first left home but I'm sorry I didn't... Come and stay with me now and get out of that house." Sirius offered with a weak smile, his hands fidgeting in his lap. The Gryffindor boy had never been one to much care about the consequences of his actions but... He had always tried to do right by his friends and Regulus, despite being his brother, was his first real friend.

"You don't get it, do you?" Regulus let out a heavily sarcastic laugh, "You didn't just leave me behind with our parents who preferred me. They love us both and you-you left me to clean up the mess you left behind. You broke our family."

Sirius sighed, trying not to get irritated as he replied, "They never liked me when they figured out I wouldn't be who they wanted me to be."

"Oh, gee, did you have the freedom to do what you wanted?" Regulus retorted as he slumped down in his seat and folded his arms, "Because I was there when the son they loved ran away. Because I always had to be exactly who they wanted me to be. I never got a choice because I had to make our parents happy. I was miserable for years trying to be the perfect son."

It was heartbreaking, seeing how the toxicity of not only the Black household but also of the pureblood beliefs engrained in their ancestry had twisted the brother's childhoods so darkly. Esme didn't know what to do. She had always thought her family-life had been difficult as she had never been able to live up to her parents expectations, much like Sirius, though her parents had always tried to support her in the ways they knew best.

"I... It's just-I'm sorry, Reg, alright? I didn't think about what I was doing to you but I can't change that now. It happened. I-I want to help you though, both of you. Tell me what I can do." Sirius was practically begging now, the desperation dripping off his voice as he attempted to repair the long damaged relationship with his brother.

Regulus paused for a moment, thinking of his response before blurting it out. In those few seconds of quietness he turned towards Esme. Their eyes connected, gazes lingering, as if they could communicate with each other perfectly well without actual words. He didn't want to admit it but, Regulus was beginning to see there were much bigger things at stake than his feud with Sirius.

Truthfully, if perhaps Esme wasn't involved, Regulus wouldn't care so much - in fact, he probably would have accepted his fate as a Death Eater and never spoken to Sirius again. Esmerelda had given him the ability to care again and stand up for himself and a reason to keep fighting. If being civil to Sirius meant more people were supporting them, then that meant Esme was perhaps a little less at risk and that was all Regulus really wanted.

"Well... I suppose I'm sorry for making this so difficult for you." Regulus offered, rolling his shoulders back as he became aware of tense they had become. That was as close to a proper apology as Sirius was going to get out of his brother and really, Sirius thought he probably didn't deserve a proper sorry anyway.

"I was the one who cut you off. It's my own doing." He nodded slowly and then raised his head to carefully watch as Esme finally moved away from the door and sat down beside the younger boy opposite.

Regulus had to refrain from eagerly agreeing to the previous statement as he responded, "So you want to help a couple Death Eaters out?"

"Anyway I can."

It wasn't a pleasant following conversation, though it was very necessary. It proved to be a tough challenge for Esme to not tear Sirius' head off as the boy managed to wind her up with such ease.

They spent nearly the whole train journey trying to explain their position to Sirius - having been forced into becoming Death Eaters and now, despite the danger, hoping to use their positions to their advantage to undermine the Dark Lord. Though they chose to omit their involvement with Dumbledore and lightly skimmed over the topic of Ignatius and the Forbidden Forest.

It left them in a rather peculiar position where Sirius wanted to help, but couldn't tell anyone and wasn't able to offer them anything. Though this didn't mean he wouldn't play a vital part in Esme and Regulus' journey further down the road.

"So... Did I do good or did I do good?" Esme flashed her smirk to Regulus as they stood out in the corridor of the train as it began its final stretch of the journey into London.

He sighed, leaning so his back rested against the window, "Just don't get too smug about it."

"We both know that's not going to happen." She beamed up at him and reached across to straighten out his collar.

He let out an airy chuckle, "You're not wrong."

"You're not annoyed at me, are you? For meddling." She asked, stepping back slightly.

Regulus ran a hand through his hair whilst a faint smile ghosted over his lips, "Honestly, at this point I think it's impossible for you to really annoy me."

"Challenge accepted." Esme stated proudly, folding her arms with confidence.

He laughed and shook his head, "I take it back. You can irritate me."

Esme's shoulders slumped down and her arms fell to her side as she suddenly burst out, "You're very pretty."

Regulus frowned, utterly puzzled, "Is-is this you trying to annoy me now?"

"What? No. Don't be stupid." She retorted.

"Right, thanks. Remind me again why I love you?" The boy asked as he suppressed his own smirk.

"We're not going to see each other for over a month. I'm not sure we've ever not seen each other for that long before." She explained.

This only further confused him as he stated, "I'm not following."

Esme tutted, "I don't want the last thing I say to you to be and insult or annoying before we see each other again in September."

"Okay, I mean... That is only about a month and a half away. I'm not dying."

"Would you just shut up and accept my compliment that you're pretty?" She grumbled now, starting to regret every trying to be nice.

Regulus laughed as he replied, "How can I accept your compliment if I can't actually speak?"

It was this that really pushed Esme over the line as she huffed and turned to start matching down the carriage away from him. "Esme, hold up!" He reached out to grab her arm, spinning the girl back around to face him, "Thank you very much, that was sweet. You're stunningly pretty too. I will write, so it's not like you'll even realise I'm gone."

"Yes, your presence is much like a sheet of parchment. I won't be able to tell the difference." She nodded happily.

"You'll forget to write to me, won't you?" Regulus asked, already knowing the answer before he completed his question.

Esme nodded again, "Probably, yes. Love you, though." She reached up to press a swift kiss to his lips.

He grinned widely at this and combed a hand through his hair, "Is that all I get? We're not going to see each other for over a month."

"You're the worst." Esme muttered with a roll of her eyes, but nevertheless wrapped her arms around his neck as she finished, "But you're pretty and a good kisser so I'll let it slide."

"I'll send you drawings of my very handsome face." Regulus offered cheekily before kissing her again.

It was only later that evening, when Regulus was sat at home with his parents, that he realised how easily and effortlessly Esme had managed to improve his mood. Those short moments together before the train come to a halt had truly lifted his spirits. He hadn't even been aware at the time of how she'd so easily made him forget the challenges of communicating with his brother. Esme really was his safe space to leave all of his woes behind.

-

a/n

hiya! super long chapter for you that's i've been writing for what feels like forever

also, i may have done a lot of rambling paragraphs so if they don't make sense please let me know